[ID: Chainsaw Man Meme. It Says "me And The Brother I Pulled By Being Insane" And Shows Aki And Denji

Hobie Brown is a lot more like Percy Jackson than Peter Parker is

Grew up a troubled but good kid breaking cycles

Trans femme with gender fuckery in a way that comes across as masc to normies

Chillaxed and super kind and goofy and loves cute/kiddy shit and people but also has a rbf,the biggest street cred in his whole franchise and is a supreme edgecase

Audhd with no masking game and definitely bptsd too

The oldest and most experienced hero in the main cast so he takes on the Team Dad mantle and believes he's not good enough to be a role model because trauma gave him self-loathing yet cocky ahh combo

The Ramones fan(Hobie's playlist has their songs + Percy gifted Nico a shirt of them)

Blue-coded

Owns a pet supernatural dog(Spidermutt + Mrs O'Leary)

Deadbeat birth dad

Goes by a nickname instead of his full name and has a common black surname

Terrible singing voice

That weird trauma response where you take people giving you sympathy for the extremely horrific circumstances you went through as pity and get mad('Yeah,what of it?' in reaction to being reminded of his Canon Event)

Correctly framed as the coolest ever in-universe(Percy specifically to defy neurodivergent stereotypes)

6'something,guitarist hands and described as so attractive it shocks other characters

Born and raised where punk started(England and New York)

Psychologically incapable of being posers or selling out(Hobie's canonically afropunk personified and Percy's canonically immune to wanting power or authority)

The comics Spiderband is a cooler version of Steve Rogers(Karl/Jason),a snarky black girl genius(Riri/Annabeth),a #relatable /pos gnc brown girl(Kamala/Piper)and a biracial red-coded rowdy tomboy(Mattea/Clarisse)

'I'm not a hero because calling yourself a hero makes you self-mythologizing','I was this cool the whole time','It's a metaphor for capitalism','I don't believe in comedy-just kidding!','Kid's an anarchist,taking a crap on the establishment,i salute you','Oh boy!Humbling reality Spiderman has arrived','Just don't enlist until you know what war you're fighting in' and 'It's propaganda bro'

*Authority figure irritatedly tells him he's not helping defuse the situation* 'Good(Said with a troublemaker smirk)'is Percy's interactions with the gods all the way to The Lightning Thief

Loves the sea enough to live in it(Hobie's houseboat)

Black and darkskin with a multietchnic background(Hobie is jamaican-ugandan-english and Percy is black monoracial but with american,dominican AND greek heritage)

Percy's not a 'bumbling idiot' but a professional insigator

Hobie making reverse racism real on George's ass before forcing him to leave Gwen a comforting note from him and a gift Watch he diy'd/Percy sending The Olympians Medusa's head after slaying her and writing a note to include saying 'with best regards'

These panels

And these caps

Big Percy Energy™️

shout-out to weird black kids who grew up up hiding their interests bc it wasnt "black enough" but now get to fully indulge in it because you're grown now and wtf is "black enough??"

Choso

How do some people think atsushi is just some uwu innocent soft boy when he's literally so salty

Do they not see this

So the premise of the whole au is that WWX is tired of people insinuating that the only reason he has as many privileges he does in his life is because he is JFM's bastard son.

Since JFM hasn't stopped the rumors its A) making seem very likely that it's true and B) making YZY insanely pissed.

Fast forward to the CR Era WWX and the other Jiangs get pretty on edge anytime someone brings his parentage since that particular conversation topic leads to nothing good.

One day when somebody finally asks WWX about it he decides enough is enough, that he is tired of letting random people make assumptions about his parents, how it's staring to strain his relationships with his siblings, how YZYs rage is steadily increasing towards everyone and how the one person who could end the whole thing refuses to ever say anything.

So in between his detentions with LWJ he begins to research different identification spells and relics in hopes of finding one that could reveal parentages or bloodlines but can't find anything (which they probably have in canon but shhhh we need the story to happen) but he is left several ideas running around his minds and gets to work.

Fast forward through many experiments, one expulsion, and many more months WWX has made the world's first DNA test. It's a tailsman that will either glow when it recognizes a blood realtion between users or crumble to ash if there is no blood tying them together. Despite spending several months making this tailsman WWX hasn't found a good opportunity to bring the subject up to JFM so he slowly starts to believe that he won't get a chance to use it use it.

But fortunately for him Lotus Peir is hosting the next the Discussion Conference and you know some shit will eventually go down. Let's just say that after most the events are down JGS says some shit like "oh how generous and brave of you to make your bastard your head disciple despite the backlash, how do you and your wife deal with it??". And you can instantly feel all the rage and tension coming from everyone room but then WWX realizes that this is a great (not great but beggars can't be choosers) opportunity to use his invention and prove that his parents are his parents, opens his mouth and says "Sect Leader Jiang is not my father and I can prove it right now if yall let me".

So after he explains himself (despite the death glares from YZY, the greedy looks from JGS and someone in the back who keeps grumbling how this ridiculous and borderline unorthodox) and provides actual proof from two willing volunteers that his tailsman is safe and that it works he finally gets to test himself and JFM and proves once and for all that all those rumors were bullshit CSSR had never cheated on her husband.

Of course some in the audience are still more interested in stirring shit up instead of keeping their mouth shut and try to imply that since his station isn't as high as the real heirs they shouldn't trust his word. And JC who has been shockingly quiet during this whole ordeal finally snaps and goes "if you refuse to believe that his invention works despite having proof before they went maybe I should go and get tested right now so you can stfu!!"

But YZY freaks the fuck out when he says this and starts going on about how he has nothing to prove, that she forbids him to take the test and everyone in the room are now just kinda side eyeing each other and her because why would she not allow her sects heir to take this test? Unless...

Somehow JFM gets JC to take the test, despite YZYs vocal protests, and the tailsman paper crumbles between them.

The room goes dead silent before WWX offers up a flimsy excuse that the tailsman may have made an error, but it's too late now. Everyone knows that the tailsman works and now they know JFM is not JC father.

That Lotus Pier's heir is a lie.

Nobody asked but for the last several days I've been thinking of an au where in the Cloud Rescess Era (or adjacent timeline) WWX invents like the first DNA test and through a series of events reveals that JFG is not JC's father.

ADHD time blindness be like "oh, today is the 30th? that's fine, December is still next month, that's forever away!

...what do you mean tommorrow?"

consuming content about the characters i love is no longer enough. I have to physically exist in the same space as them otherwise I fear I may perish from sad.

characters who are black bc I said so

just so yall know I'm using black as an umbrella term, if any yall want to chime in with different ethnicities you are welcome too 💜🤎.

☆The Warner Siblings - Animaniacs

☆Saiki Kusuo & Aiura Mikoto - TDLOSK

☆Tanjiro & Nezuko Kamado & all of the Hashira no exceptions - Demon Slayer

☆Cuphead, Mugman, King Dice- Cuphead game/show

☆Izuku Midoriya, Mina Ashido, Snipe, Miriko, Oboro Shirakumo, Rody, Hatsume Mei, Aizawa Shouta- My Hero Academia

☆Noe Archiviste, Dante - Case Study of Vanitas

☆Douglas Eiffel, Isabel Lovelace, Renee Minkowski, Jacobi, and Maxwell - Wolf 359

☆Sans & Papyrus Skeleton - Undertale

☆Izumi Curtis - Fullmetal Alchemist

☆Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rarity, Sweetie Bell, Sunset Shimmer, Luna, Celestia - My Little Pony

☆Gideon Nav, Harrowhawk Nonegemius - The Locked Tomb

☆Sonic, Shadow, Tails, Knuckles, Blaze, Amy, Silver, Rouge - Sonic Franchise

☆Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase, Grover Underwood, Grace siblings, Di Angelo siblings, Magus Chase, Rachel Elizabeth Dare, Anubis, Paul Blofis - Riordanverse

☆Afton Family - Five Nights at Freddy

☆Jason Todd, Clark Kent, Koriandr, Rachel Roth, Stephanie Brown - DC Universe

☆Pines Siblings - Gravity Falls

☆Hamato Siblings - Rise of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

☆Ralsei, Kris, Noelle, Susie, Lancer, Joxter - Deltarune

☆Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup - The Powerpuff Girls

☆Brozone, Poppy, Funk Trolls, Brab, just most of the trolls in general- Trolls DreamWorks

☆Onyx - Trollz 2005

☆E. Aster Bunnymund - rotg

btw if if I get any type of racist comments on this or complaints abt "blackwashing" you can smd 😊, I'm not fighting with yall over headcanons alright

If I missed someone my bad. And this is not who is the better friend to wwx, just who do you feel has the best friendship with him

EDIT: I've done some thinking and the "best" can just be whoever has the best vibes with him/most iconic or just whoever you like the most, should've made that clear sooner mb you guys 😅

Genuinely why would you think to headcanon Percy Jackson as bisexual before you think to headcanon Percy Jackson as transfem.You ong think this punk anarchist is more likely to crush on 'his' groomers who've groomed millenias of other people just because they were described as attractive in a book series than SHE is be a transfem egg based on her personality and experiences heavily reflecting transfeminism?Y'all doin' too much