O Hey

happiness kind of feels like an effervescent state of being that is endlessly removed from me

i still have hope though I suppose

"you'll understand when you're older" is a song for early morning walks where it's a little bit chilly but you're not freezing because the sun is out

every year around this time i am shocked that its dark at 5pm and i will continue to be…. its so fucking rude of the sun to leave early bitch YOUR SHIFT ISNT OVER

I have officially been waiting here for 635 days.

mmm a little grey is all

god things have been so hard recently

I had a dream

someone I loved

had their heart ripped out.

We trusted the wrong person,

and they suffered for it.

I had a dream

i held them as they slept

praying for a pulse

head buried in their chest

I had a dream they shook awake

as if from a nightmare.

Their face said confusion

their eyes wild with panic

I had a dream I calmed them

Relief in my tears.

“You really were worried about me”

They said, weak smile on their lips.

I had a dream i held them in close

shaking in relief

their head on my chest

I slept

(i think) october is going to bring with it the one I’ve been looking for.

This belief has gone very very poorly for me in the past.

I’m glad i don’t seem to learn from my past lol.

(but really he might be coming!!! my dear! i wish to hold him close.)

i hope he comes near.

don't have a dni list but if I did then people who hate black cats would be number one baby

ive become convinced that bo burnam is a cryptid / god hybrid of chaos and morals.

True chaotic neutral.

He is the only god i would willingly bow to.