OK But Imagine If He Knew Fencing Or Smthn

Self-insert shitpost 🐢

Good morning fellow Donatello simps 😌

no context november. figure it out.

i feel like a trait of “tumblr sexyman” that’s getting lost as of late is. the incomprehensibility of it all. i will see characters who are just like, conventionally attractive anime men be referred to as sexymen and its like. no. no. like its not just “any dude some tumblr people lose their shit for”, a fundamental part of the experience of like, learning about tumblr sexyman is that your initial reaction to learning a character is a sexyman is to go “how the fuck could ANYONE ever find this sexy”. a shortstack funny comedy skeleton. a character from a dr seuss book whose only viewable limbs are their arms. the incredibly low poly model of a half life 1 security guard. your first reaction upon learning what the sexyman is should be confusion and bafflement. it’s core to the whole concept.

ok I know the general fandom consensus for Papyrus’s voice is skeletor or variations thereof but just imagine….. robin williams papyrus (the quote’s from ferngully)

I hate this fucking world there's so much violence and hatred

when someone has a good take abt my favourite media i blush and twirl my hair and kick my legs but when theyre wrong abt it i bite and attack and kill kill kill kill kill

My commissions are open! DM me for more payment details! And you can also see more of my art on my Instagram (which has the same user as this acc).

Prices can be discussed in certain cases! Even if you are not interested or can't afford, you could really help me out with sharing with someone who might be :)

I'm sorry it took so long for me to post a new drawing, but my personal life is all over the place rn.

Anyways, here you have a drawing in my style of @jiffygis ' drawing of Mikey (they gave me permission dw). This drawing was just so cute it inspired me.

[SILHOUETTE] John Doe X Reader. Chapter 5 (PT. 1)

Notes: this chapter has some mentions of vulture culture and vomit.

-Damn it Lucas, what the hell is this??!- you said dropping the small jar he handed over to you. Surprised and startled, he quickly grabbed it before it touched the floor. -Y/N be careful!... Dude this costed me a fucking rib and an eye, do you know how hard it was??-.

The order you had made a few nights ago was ready. A protection charm... But this is definitely not what you wanted. Inside of the jar, submerged in a strange liquid surrounded by whatever the hell those things were, maybe plants or something, was a cat eye. You knew about vulture culture and even indulged a bit in it, but it took you by surprise and uneasiness, because you didn't know how this poor creature was obtained. You felt sick.

Almost as if he could read your mind, he looked at you and started speaking. -Look I know you really care about animals so I assure you, he was already sick and died naturally. You know I never sacrifice animals for my spells- he explained. Hearing the explanation put you at ease. You trusted him, and trusted his morals. He would never actually hurt an animal for the sake of a spell, he respected nature.

You stared at him, then at the jar and sighed, -yeah, you're right... Sorry I almost dropped it-. He handed it back over to you, this time you took it carefully into your hands. You still felt uneasy, however, because a small part of you wanted to believe that what he was saying wasn't true, but that's just a stupid intrusive thought, he was no liar.

-...why the cat eye tho?- you curiously asked while putting the jar at the height of your eye to see it closely. It was a blue eye, you could just imagine how beautiful this colour would've looked... If it was still in the cat's socket, that is.

Lucas began to explain, -cats have a special sixth sense, which allows them to sense and warn you about supernatural beings. Not only that, but they can detect negative forces that endanger your balance and well-being-. You nodded your head, taking in the information. -I could've just got a cat then...- -that is an option, yes but I made this jar for you because I know it will help you more than a cat.- he calmly explained. You just nodded your head.

-(y/n) I swear to god if you don't take that shit off of my face I'll throw it outside the window- Faye said, eyes not leaving the road as she drove you both to her house. -Hey don't be rude, I'm just showing you...- you said, putting you jar back between your legs while you kept on staring at it. She had just picked you up from the bazar, turns out she was close and offered you a ride. After a moment of silence, almost as if she was thinking about her words, Faye began to speak, -Look, you know I know you always take the best decisions for yourself... but I think carrying that around is a bit too much. If you don't feel safe, maybe I can spend more time with you, buy pepper spray or something but don't carry around that- you knew what she meant. She didn't like the jar Lucas had made for you, she felt uneasy with you carrying around that thing but after all, she wasn't the one carrying it, she didn't even have to look at it if she didn't want to. You didn't answer to that comment.

Faye wasn't the spiritual type. Sure, she believed in what she saw and what she was told about, if shown proof, but she wasn't the type to believe in spells and magic and stuff. In her mind, even ghosts made more sense than that.

She sensed the silence that followed. Had she been rude? She didn't say anything with ill intent, in fact she just wanted to help you out in a more direct way. -... but hey (y/n), if the jar makes you feel more at ease, maybe you should keep holding onto it- she said, smiling at you. You smiled back.

You've always been particularly good with places. You didn't know the names of the streets but you could point where you were in a map, so you noticed very quickly, that the turn Faye had just taken wasn't the one that lead to her house. You weren't freaked out, you weren't scared, but you were pretty confused so you decided to ask, -Faye? Where are we going?-, it took her a bit of thinking before she calmly answered to your question -I think that you've been too stressed these days. Just last week you claimed your boss had fired you when she hadn't even talked to you and now you're carrying a cat eye...- she sighed before continuing, -a friend of mine is having a party at his house right now. It's gonna be chill, nothing too extra so don't worry, but I want you to get there and just have fun, you know? Maybe get out of your mind for a bit.- This made you tense, you hadn't planned on this, in fact you already had a date with the oh so comfortable couch and chewing ice while watching horror videos or something in Faye's house. You wanted to watch "top 10" videos or that kind of crap, not this. -Faye... I don't know, I'm not sure I wanna talk to anyone else but you right now. Maybe we can go to a party tomorrow?- -dude do you think I get invited to parties everyday? Come on- she said, extending the "on", -It'll be fun! And if you don't feel comfortable, we'll go to my house and have a sleep over, just you and me. What do you say?- ... oh how could you say no to those puppy eyes? -how can I say no to those puppy eyes? Fine, we'll go.- you said, letting her win this time. She smiled in triumph.

You regretted this, you regretted listening to Faye and coming here. The party started just like she promised, there weren't many people and it was all calm, but after a good 30 minutes or so the party started to get bigger. More cars started to park in front of the house, more people with drinks started to arrive and you kind of just sat there, with a beer in your hand as you saw others dancing.

The beer tasted horrible and you were too akward to go dance, no one was happy with this, but going to Faye wasn't an option. Sure, she had told you to tell her the minute you wanted to leave, but you saw her there, surrounded by people and looking like she was having the most fun she had had in weeks. No sleepover with you would have her like this, no sleepover with you would be as fun as this was for her. You didn't feel bad or sad, you just felt lame that you weren't having as much fun as the others.

Of course you knew the implications of parties this big, so people talking to you didn't bother you at this point, and when the second guy in the night approached you, you already had your internal monologue ready. -hey! Do you wanna dance?- he asked, sitting dow beside you, -no thanks, I'm here with a friend- you said politely. -who? Maybe I know the person- he asked. Without thinking it twice, you just let your mouth run, -I'm with Faye- you said, turning up your voice volume so he could hear you well. -oh I know her, she's friends with the owner of this house. But I haven't seen her around you since you arrived- -well for how long have you been watching us?- you asked in a genuine tone, -long enough to notice you haven't been having fun.- you laughed at this, he was right. -beer sucks and I can't dance - you explained, -beer isn't the best choice, you can make yourself a drink, there's vodka, whisky and soda, so you can mix it- he said, pointing at the drinks table. -here, I'll teach you-, he stood up and turned to look at you. You sat there for a second, at that moment, the moment he stood up and turned to you, you felt a chill run up your spine, but it wasn't caused by the man in front of you. You looked around, nothing seemed out of place, everyone was having fun in their own world. Then why did it feel like a hundred eyes were looking at you? Burning on you and your every move. Something told you to sit there, stay there and ignore the man. Not for your own good, but for his.

The hesitance made him unsure, but just as he was about to open his mouth, well...

Fuck it, you were allowed to have fun too, enough with being miserable in the corner. You stood up and smiled at him, -sure, let's go-.

You started with a simple drink as he explained to you why you shouldn't mix alcohols, and just stick to one if you didn't wanna end up on the floor. You were on your third drink now, not enough to get you drunk but enough to give you confidence to start dancing with people. The man you were with laughed at this, how you started shyly sitting in a chair eager to leave and now you were having fun without a worry in the world, it was fun watching you unfold with confidence and turn into a different version of yourself.

He, however, didn't find it funny at all that some jackass was keeping an eye on you. You crearly didn't want to be there, and getting you drunk wasn't for you to have fun, it was for his own benefit. You were smarter than this, so he was surprised when he saw you standing up to go with that man. Oh you didn't have to fit in, you didn't have to go and pretend to be someone you're not and talk with people who didn't even deserve for you to look at. But that's why he was here for, for you, just waiting for the right moment.

Thank god Faye made you go out. You loved her for this, you could go and kiss her right now, in fact where was she?. You hadn't had this much fun in ages! And everyone was being so nice to you. Turns out it wasn't that bad, you were just overthinking stuff. Sure, watching true crime in your best friend's house sounded like a blast, but this? This was by far better than that.

The alcohol had gotten into your brain not too long ago, and you were a completely different person by the time the house was full of guests. You lost sight of Faye, the last time you saw her was when you went up to her and showed her your new friend, whom she already knew, Lucian. All she said was "you're in good hands" before going back to her own thing.

Right now you were learning how to play cups while Lucian was teaching you. -so wherever the ball lands, I have to drink the cup?- you asked, -exactly, now try to throw the ball just how I taught you- he said, placing a small pong ball in your hand. You threw it, the ball hit the border of a cup and flew away from them. Damn you were bad at this. -Don't worry, it takes practice- he said, before placing himself in front of the table and throwing his shot. You let him be, you needed a break.

You sat down, watching as he did his own thing. You were starting to get dizzy, and it was difficult to stand up straight, damn it you shouldn't have mixed alcohols just like Lucian told you...

Everything was starting to become a background noise, and suddenly you grew quiet in order to not babble nonsense. You needed to pee, really bad. You didn't know where the bathroom was but you would figure it out on the way... If you could walk without falling in the first place. You needed Faye, you didn't know for what but you needed her, so you started calling out for her with no answer but weirded out looks.

You couldn't help yourself for too long, and soon you fell to the floor, resting your back in the wall. You were peeing yourself, and not in the figurative way, you could literally feel small drops of pee coming out as your drunk self was desperately trying to hold it in. God you looked so pathetic. Your dress was now wet from when you were trying to pour yourself water earlier but you kept missing the cup, your eyelids were fighting to stay open and you must smell like pee at this point. You couldn't even stand up or even sit down straight anymore. You just hoped people wouldn't look down on you and just ignore you at this point.

...

You had to puke.

Fuck why couldn't your body work with you for once? Now you actually needed to get to a bathroom before you emptied yourself in some random person's wooden floor. You swore this was the last time you would ever listen to Faye. Ok, you can do this, at the count of three. One, Two... -you need any help?- said a familiar high pitched voice in a low, almost worried tone. As you looked up and locked eyes with him, you felt like crying, "god I hope I die and get swallowed by dirt"; alas, you didn't die and get swallowed by earth during those 4 seconds of silence. "Fuck you, God" you thought, as if this was actually anyone else's fault and not yours and your dumbass.

Doe carefully helped you up while you just spluttered apologies.

-I'm so sorry you have to see me like this- -It's no problem, really. I don't mind- he answered. That was a lie, of course it bothered him seeing you like this, in such a bad condition.

He helped you to the bathroom, waited for you outside as he heard you spilling your guts from the other side of the door. You hated this, but not as much as he did, he hated seeing you sick and in discomfort.

He offered you help, you instantly refused saying you could handle this. You couldn't, you preferred to die than to keep feeling this shitty, you just didn't want him to keep an image of you like this in his head; sitting in the bathroom in order to not pee yourself while holding the trashcan in your arms to puke, you must look disgusting.

A few minutes passed before you came out of the bathroom, Doe was still waiting for you as he turned to look at you. You looked back at him,

-I know this is too much to ask, but do you think you could take me home?-