Bastards

one(ish) sentence summaries of every magnus archive episode PART 3 (111-154)

HELLO FRIENDS In honor of one of my friends starting tma i am posting the rest of what i have for this series

I'm going to be honest, i wrote all of these like a year and a half ago so i don't even remember if all of them are as accurate as i thought they were at the time so tell me what u guys think ( ALSO IM SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO POST THESE)

if you guys want more i can be convinced to relisten to the series and finish this and also send me asks i love getting asks

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111. god fuck he just wanted his friends to call him gerry

112. guys I have a great idea for a game it’s called murder tag and there are no downsides I promise

113. sweet dreams goodnight don’t let the carbon monoxide poisoning bite

114. cleaning lady takes a trip to mandela effect land

115. ship cook discovers an infinite meat glitch!

116. oh god the unknowing ritual is fnaf security breach

117. alright guys it’s time to prepare for clown time let’s do a roll call

118. martin burns some stuff and gets traumatized while Jon and the homies are sneaking through an interactive wax museum.

119. ah fuck it’s clown time

120. omg! you were in the archivist’s dream last night! so cool!!

121. dude I’d KILL for a good night’s sleep

122. the worst person you know tells you about their "new philosophical theory" for 24 minutes

123. man is scammed into being the helpless mod for murder reddit

124. old man ruins our austrian mountain trip with impromptu skydiving

125. bagpipe music makes an entire town do a The Purge (2013)

126. man is so shit at sculpting that it literally makes four people loose their minds

127. hey guys… eye am not feeling so well…

128. skinwalker delivery man mourns the loss of his skinwalker delivery husband

129. we needed this rain

130. HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA WILL FILL YOUR HOLE WITH MEAT

131. I get the guy who turns peoples’ bones to turn my bones and also tell me the story of how he started turning peoples’ bones

132. MAN OPENS COFFIN. WE ARE VERY WORRIED FOR HIM.

133. My son’s weird boyfriend is a little too invested in my treasure hunt.

134. journalist takes a short and awful trip to dystopia land and it gives both her and adelard decker an existential crisis .

135. let me tell you about our lord and savior: shadow jesus.

136. my boss does a reverse pinocchio.

137. I am saved from the real horrors of war by spooky ghost horrors of war.

138. my dear jonah, it seems my years of fucking around have finally caught up to me, and I am nearing the time in which I will find out.

139. Local cult cooks up an antichrist and then deals with the terrible consequence: parenthood.

140. 17th century homoerotic rivalry between an astronomer and shadow jesus

141. our captain got depressed and then made us all steal a camera

142. hey sorry your archivist got addicted to eating trauma. yeah he’s just watching people on the street now. yeah he’s pulling statements from them like teeth. yeah he’s been showing up in my dreams and he is all eyes.

143. we KILL this evil orb using the power of looking at it too closely

144. math podcast makes man foresee the end of the world

145. gertrude drops the hardest diss track of the century on the desolation / part 2 of local cult’s adventures in parenthood

146. man is stalked by a sneaky door.

147. the archives is stalked by a sneaky spider lady.

148. Security camera guy loves his job so much that he becomes a security camera.

149. weird trash art in the Amazon rainforest bites researcher

150. HOMOPHOBIC SUBURBAN HOUSES

151. have you ever played aquarium tycoon

152. let me introduce you to the world of recreational dirt naps ( I am not asking )

153. evil worm polycule

154. i quit my job and my hot goth wife kills me.