[Insecurity - SKZ X M!Reader]

[Here Always]  - [SKZ Kim SeungMin X M!Reader]

If one could describe M/N relationship with none other than the love of his life, Kim SeungMin, one would say they are not even in love or even in one. That was the view of the world but, not to M/N and SeungMin.

F/N M/N and Kim SeungMin were friends since they were in their diapers. SeungMin’s mom and M/N’s mother would meet up every single day being the closest of friends. As they grew up, no doubt, they became close.

An awkward day being alone An unknown whisper The night I wandered around calling you When I close my eyes Warm comfort blows into me like a cold season Slowly into me

It was that one night when M/N realises that he was in love with SeungMin. For the first time in forever, M/N and SeungMin had spent the day apart from each other.

‘How’s the night going?’

M/N sighed as he sent a text to SeungMin whilst he sat on the couch, trying to find a comfortable position.

He had abandoned on his supposedly date for the night after spending 15 minutes together in a restaurant. They had ordered their food and drinks, only awaiting for it to be served. His date was good looking, benevolent and wonderful and he was sure that if everything went well, he might just get laid tonight. That was until his eyes played tricks on him. He had imagined it was Kim SeungMin sitting in front of him, smiling and laughing at the random jokes they heard from across the table. He had wished that it was Kim SeungMin who had grabbed his hand tenderly and stared into his eyes.

“I…..I’m so sorry.” M/N pulled his hand away from the other before, shifting his gaze everywhere but, not to him.

“It’s okay.” His date smiled, “you’re in love with someone else aren’t you?”

“Is it obvious?”

His date smiled and nodded, “very. Now, go. Get him before it’s too late. I’m just going to assume that you both went on separate dates to get someone and then now is the time where you realise you are in love with each other.”

M/N grinned so widely that his cheeks hurts a lot. He thanked the date profusely and gave him a hug for making him realise. M/N didn’t waste anymore time as he rushed out of the restaurant, stopping by the counter to pay for the food and rode on his bike back home, his shared apartment with SeungMin.

When he reached home, he realise that SeungMin was on his own date, which means, the probability of him falling for his date was high and he couldn’t just barge and ruin the date if SeungMin was happy. M/N begins overthinking about all the possibilities that emerge wildly in his head.

What if Kim SeungMin didn’t feel the same way he did?

What if Kim SeungMin hated him for loving him?

What if ———

‘Can you get me?’

The special ringtone of SeungMin’s alerted M/N out of his train of thoughts. M/N jolted up from the couch, grabbing his things before rushing out the door.

“Hey.” M/N whispered, seeing as SeungMin sat on the bench by the roadside.

SeungMin looked up with teary eyes, holding his hands up like a child wanting to be carried. M/N smiled and got down from his bike, taking the other into his embrace.

“I take the date didn’t go so well?” M/N asked.

“No, it went wonderful. He was nice and kind and handsome.” SeungMin sniffled as he hid his face into M/N’s neck. “But I was the one who isn’t okay.”

“Shall we go home, cuddles and snacks on the couch and you can tell me all about it?”

SeungMin broke out of the hug and threw pillows to M/N’s chest. “I hate you. I hate you. I hate you!”

M/N sweat dropped as he looks around to see the passer-by giving him a look of disappointment as if he had done something wrong.

“Minnie, I’m sorry that you hate me but, everyone here is literally thinking that I did something wrong to you and I don’t know if I did so, what’s wrong Minnie?” M/N whispered grabbing SeungMin’s hand to stop the other from hitting him.

“I like you okay? Fuck, I think I love you even and today date went wrong because my fucking date made me realise that I am in love with you! And I hate you for making me lo—-,”

M/N cut the latter off, linking their lips together. SeungMin melted in the kiss as he felt himself calming down instantly.

“You k——,”

“I like you okay? Fuck, I love you. And just like you, tonight made me realise that I am in love with you that I am not able to spend any more nights without you.” M/N said as he plants a chaste kiss to SeungMin’s forehead.

“I hate you.” SeungMin sniffled and leans his head to M/N’s chest.

“I love you more.” M/N grinned. “Here always.”

“Here always.” SeungMin repeated.

I'm still here always

Each and every stop

I miss being by your side

Always there by your side

Here always

If there's a name that I'm going to call you

Should it be a "shining sea" or "my world"?

When I close my eyes

It lingers in my ears

Your faint waves come into my dreams

And sprеad out fully

reblog if you’re NOT tumblr famous, but you ARE tired and kinda gay

[Not yours but, mine - SKZ HyunJin X M!Reader] [NSFW]

‼️Trigger warnings: Abuse, Homophobic Parents ‼️

“Hi, will you go to prom with me now?”

M/N felt his eyes twitched in annoyance. This was the thirteenth time, yes, M/N counted, where the ‘hot’ boy of JYP College repeatedly asked him to go to the prom and it has been going on for almost a month now. Without fail, Hwang HyunJin, the prince of JYP College, would randomly show up out of nowhere and asked him the same question over and over again.

“M/N,” HyunJin pouted as he took M/N forearm, randomly tracing over the tattoos, the latter had. “I really like you.”

“No.” M/N simply said as he gently pulled his arm away, packing his things.

“Pretty please?” This time, HyunJin batted his eyelids so fast that M/N thought it would fly off.

“No,” again, the same answer. M/N took a last glance over to the dejected pretty boy before walking out the door of the class.

Class ended an hour ago but, M/N had stayed back to complete some overdue assignments. The moment, M/N found himself alone in the usually crowded hallways of the building, his cheeks grew warmth as he bit his lips to stifle a squeal that threatened to echo.

‘He’s cute. He’s so fucking cute. He’s making me fall for him even more every second,” M/N thought to himself.

“Hyungggggg what got you blushing?” SeungMin had surprised the latter by jumping onto his back, thankfully, M/N reflexes were fast. “Is it him?”

“Yeah,” M/N bashfully admitted.

It was not like M/N hated HyunJin. Instead, he was deeply in love with the latter. They had been friends since kindergarten, since diapers. Even though, they didn’t typically grew up together, M/N always has eyes for the prince . He was not only beautiful but, HyunJin is benevolent, wonderful, courageous and the list never ends. HyunJin was like the bloomed flower that never withered despite the storm that bash them.

M/N on the other hand didn’t consider himself as beautiful as HyunJin. He knew he looked decent, he knew that but, he was not particularly sure of how people describe him to be. He has tattoos because he love the way each and every ink piece represents a part of his life, he love the piercings stapled in him because it reminded him of the pain he went through from time to time. M/N didn’t come from a perfect family, he had went through blood, sweat, tears to where he was standing right now. M/N knew he was the total opposite of HyunJin. Hence, the reason why he didn’t responded or react to the prince confession/invite.

“You still did not accept his invitation? It’s been a year.” SeungMin exaggerates. “Tell me, how many time had he actually asked you the same question over and over again.”

M/N nonchalantly shrugged before, sitting down on his bed, responding to the younger questions, “3,457 time to be exact.”

“Woah Bro, you are heads over heel for that man.”

“I am but, nah, I should just dream on. HyunJin is way out of my league.”

“Really?” SeungMin deadpanned, rolling his eyes so hard M/N thought he could see his own brain, “how long have you known him again?”

“15 years, minus the years I was not in Korea.” M/N said.

“Do the math, you are smitten by a pretty boy who you’ve known for almost your whole lifetime.” SeungMin said, “when exactly are you going to actually accept his promposal?”

“Not anytime soon, I don’t think I would even go to prom.” M/N replied.

4 days, 4 days to prom and M/N felt something ache in his heart. Something was not right. Something was indefinitely wrong. Hwang HyunJin was not approaching him as often as he used to. Usually, the prince would approach him for an average of at least 10 time a day. He would sneak to the tattooed latter whenever he sees the opportunity to. This time, M/N begins to look for him. He would intentionally sit at one spot, hoping the prince would come to him but, to no avail, for the first time for the year, not even a single sight of the pretty boy was seen.

“Help me.” M/N look dead in SeungMin’s eyes, causing shiver down the younger spine.

“If you stop killing me through your stares, I would.” SeungMin replied.

“Sorry,” a dejected sigh left his lips, “please go to HyunJin’s house. Check on him.”

SeungMin looked at him bewildered, “are you insane? What is wrong with you? You want me to go to HyunJin’s? Bro, I don’t even know where he lives. You do so, you go.”

That was how M/N found himself outside of the terrace, debating whether he should knock on the wooden doors of it. He had stood there for almost half an hour now.

“M/N?”

M/N turn to the call of his name. He gasped inaudibly at the sight of the man standing upon him. HyunJin was dressed in his sweats, his hood was on, covering his face. M/N thanked god for his good eyesight because he was quick to peek into the prince’s face. A right eye was bruised badly, there was a cut on the corner of his lips and his cheek welted with a mixture of purple and blue.

“HyunJin.” M/N called out, reaching out to caress the injured one. HyunJin quickly looked away from the other making him retract his hand,“Hwang HyunJin, who did this to you?”

“It’s none of your business.” HyunJin whispered, “get out of here. What are you even doing here?”

“Hwang HyunJin, who is hurting you?!” From the corner of his eyes, the prince could see rage in M/N’s eyes.

“Son, who could this be?” M/N could see the fear in HyunJin as a man came up behind him, linking an arm around his shoulder. He recognise the older man, he is HyunJin’s father.

“Dad, t-this, this is M/N, a classmate of mine.” The prince stammered, “he came by to pass some homework.”

“Well, that better be it. I don’t another one to take care of.” The man said and M/N snapped.

“What do you mean Sir, another one to take care of?” M/N asked.

The man smirked, “it’s really none of you business boy. Now, better leave. Our pretty little boy here has some job to do.” M/N could see the plead in HyunJin’s eyes when the man gripped his shoulder, pulling him towards the door of the entrance. “Now, my Hyunjinnie, say goodbye to your friend.”

“B—bye,”

M/N kisses his teeth in frustration, “if I may sir,” he grabbed the man arm, removing it from HyunJin’s shoulder, “I would like to bring him out for some coffee. We will be back soon.” It happened in seconds when M/N had pulled HyunJin out of the man’s embrace and into his.

“You can’t. I would not allow my pretty boy to go out with a delinquent like you. Besides, he knows what he’ll get for doing that. He’s mine.” The father said, death staring into HyunJin.

The prince looked down to the ground, unable to speak.

“Not yours, mine. By the looks of it, he doesn’t mind going out with him and could you possibly do to him, abuse him, even more.” Something in M/N’s word triggered the man. The father threw a punch to his direction. M/N was quick to dodge it, sending a kick to the man’s leg instead before grabbing HyunJin’s hands and ran. They ran as fast as their feet could bring them to. M/N couldn’t think of any other place than his apartment. Once they entered, M/N locked the doors, leading the prince over to his couch.

It was awkward. The tension was so high that a touch to it would snap the string. HyunJin quietly watch as M/N put down his bag, walking to the kitchen, rummaging through the cabinet just to pull out a first aid kit box. M/N went over to him, pulling a chair right in front of him.

“Hood off.” M/N said. His voice wasn’t exactly stern but, it was gentle and soft. HyunJin winces now and then as M/N applied some ointment to his face.

“Hi, will you go to prom with me now?” HyunJin chuckled, just like every other day when he would ask the tattooed boy.

“Seriously?” M/N frowned.

“Will you go to prom with me? It’ll be in 4 days and I don’t exactly have a date yet. My only supposedly date keeps on rejecting me.” HyunJin begin ranting, “I really like him. He is so good looking and mysterious even though he wouldn’t re—-,”

“Stop,” M/N intervened, “stop being a sunshine even though you’re going through so much. It’s okay to not be okay. You can cry it out.”

As if M/N could see right through him, HyunJin couldn’t hold back his tears any longer. He broke down so hard that M/N pulled him to cry on his chest, holding him tight as if assuring that everything was going to be alright. It took a while but M/N didn’t mind. He waited until HyunJin had cried his heart out even though it took close to three hours, exhaustion taking over the pretty boy making him fall asleep on the tattooed one.

“Food?” M/N offered when he realise that the pretty boy had finally woke up from his nap. It was close to midnight.

“Iced americano.” HyunJin responded.

“Ok.” M/N ordered some snacks alongside with HyunJin’s order on his phone. “Do you feel comfortable to tell me what is going on?”

“Only if you go to prom with me.” Again, the same question.

“Deal.” M/N said. HyunJin was going to ask him the same question when he realise M/N has finally responded to him. He couldn’t believe his ears, making him jolt up from M/N’s chest to look at the latter.

“Are you serious? You…. You finally agreed to be my date?!”

M/N couldn’t stop the smile that widen on his face as he almost cooed at how cute the pretty boy was, “yes, I agree to go to prom with you. I have been dying to say yes to you but, I didn’t because I thought you were out of my league, you still are. You’re too beautiful for a decent man like me.”

“Are you kidding me? How you look, how you dress doesn’t matter to me. It’s….it’s who you are.” HyunJin blushed, pulling out a necklace hidden under his sweater, “do you think I would forget about you? I thought you forgot about me!”

M/N couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the necklace. It was the one he gave the other on his 9th birthday in school. It was weird to gift someone something on their own birthday but, M/N did it anyway. He remembered shoving the box to HyunJin without a word and going back to his seat to devour the cake.

“You still have it?”

“Of course I do. I am in love with you since we were kids until to this very second. I thought you hated me when you left this country a year ago. I thought you hated me for annoying you all the time because you wouldn’t say anything else but a ‘no’. Then you came back, I took a shot because I didn’t want to lose you!” HyunJin explained.

M/N felt his heart warmth as he pulled the other into his embrace, planting a soft kiss to the latter’s crown, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry for hurting you in every possible ways but, I have been in love with you since we were kids. I have always adored you, wanting you all by myself. The…the reason why I left Korea wasn’t because of you, it was because of my parents. They abused me for being bisexual and when I… I saw how your father treated you, I was not going to let you experienced what I’ve gone through.”

“H…how did you know?”

“The bruises, the ‘possessiveness’ of him said everything because that was exactly what my father did to me. How long had this been going on?”

“Just a week ago,” HyunJin admitted, “I came out to him about being gay and he snapped. He yelled and screamed about how useless I was but, he didn’t exactly hit me, not until last night when he barged into my room and he just, blasted.” M/N could hear the trembles in the latter’s voice. He gently held the other’s shoulder, giving him a squeeze of reassurance.

“I know this will be hard to hear and do, but, we can’t let it happen again. We need to report to the authority about the abuse.”

“But,” HyunJin let a sniffle, “I’m not ready to face this world alone.”

“You won’t be alone, I’m with you. I promise till death do us part, I will be with you.” M/N gently cups the pretty boy’s face, glancing to his lips, “may I?” HyunJin smiled and nodded.

Their lips met. Their bodies pressed together heatedly against the couch, breathing heavily as their lips danced together. M/N could taste their shared breath, feel the thud of their combined heartbeat as they fumbled to take off one another’s clothes. His lips were soft, almost silken, and pillowy against his own.

“A—-ahh,” HyunJin let out a moan as their clothed members grinned against each other. M/N effortlessly lifted the prince so that he was hovering the other instead. “M/N, it’s…..it’s my first time.” The prince admitted, flushing.

“Don’t worry, I won’t do much until you’re ready, I’m going to just jerk us off.” M/N chuckled, planting a kiss to HyunJin’s swollen lips. The pretty boy was a mess from the kiss, writhing under the tattooed one. “Will you be alright?”

“Yes. Make me feel good.” HyunJin cried softly as M/N took his members in his large hands, caressing it in a slow motion. “M/N,” he breathed, “have I ever told you that I’m so in love with you?”

“So do i. I love you, so fucking much.” M/N whispered, looking deeply into HyunJin’s brown orbs. He linked their lips again, feeling the euphoria spark in him. HyunJin was his, finally. The two reached their highs, cum onto their chests, breathing heavily.

“Will you go to prom with me?” HyunJin chuckled after a couple of minutes they calm down.

“Will you be mine?” M/N asked, a grin on his face.

“You’re mine.”

“Not yours but, mine.” M/N claimed as they shared another kiss before the doorbell to apartment rang breaking their moment.

also this genre of kakashi

[It is what it is; Part Two] - [SKZ Bang Chan X M!Reader]

Part One

‼️Trigger Warning(s) : Bullied, Abuse, Rape, Depression, Suicidal‼️

“Are you still hanged up over it?” Seo ChangBin questions the red headed as he tried to secretly glance over his roommate who sat at the corner of the classroom. “If you’re gonna appear every single time we end a period, you’re labelling yourself as a creep. It’s been a week.”

It has been a week.

A week since that night where Bang Chan couldn’t forget the tiny little tint of hurt flashing across M/N’s eyes. He didn’t go after M/N when he left the restaurant but, as he sat back down, a sense of guilt ambushed him, stabbing his heart that the pain was almost physical. Why? Why did he feel that way? This shouldn’t be hurting him, this should only hurt M/N so why was he hurt? M/N didn’t come back that night and Bang Chan barely caught any sleep either. It was early in the morning the next day when Bang Chan heard the door of the dorm open and M/N came stumbling into the room, tipsy, stench in cigarettes and alcohol. Bang Chan got up to sit on his bed, his eyes observing every move of the latter who seems to ignore him indefinitely.

“M/N……I…. I can explain.” Bang Chan stammered.

M/N turned to him, his eyes glassy and unfocused, “It is what it is. You don’t need to waste your breath explaining and I don’t need to waste my time listening.”

That was all M/N said before dropping onto his bed, burying himself under his blanket. Bang Chan swore something in him cracked. Ever since then, neither of them shared any word or look even, at least not M/N. Bang Chan still stole glances over his roommate whilst M/N simply pretended as if Bang Chan was nothing but, a thin of air.

“Has M/N been different lately in class?”

ChangBin thought for a moment before shaking his head, “not really. He is still a quiet and reserved kid like he always was since forever.”

“T…That’s good i guess.”

ChangBin rolled his eyes, “seriously? Why are you so concerned about M/N?”

“I…I… I’m not concern about him, i….i just wanna see him suffer?” It came out as a question but for sure, ChangBin didn’t believe the latter.

ChangBin sighed and patted Bang Chan’s right shoulder, “I won’t judge if you end up caring about how he had felt you know. Besides, you did have to go through a lot just for a bet.”

At his words, Bang Chan winced. He did had to go through a lot to get to know M/N. He had to learn and study M/N deeply, taking notes of his liking and dislikes, his little pet peeves, etc. When M/N confessed to Bang Chan, there was no doubt that Bang Chan felt something, Bang Chan could feel the sincerity of M/N’s heart. Bang Chan had to do something to reconcile with M/N, or at least, get M/N to just look at him even for a minute and so the gifts came in. Bang Chan had left gifts with notes on M/N’s study table.

‘M/N, I bought you the cake you liked from the bakery nearby.’

‘M/N, I bought the puff you craved for before.’

‘M/N, i got this flowers cause it reminded me of you.’

‘M/N, look at this grumpy cat plush. It looks just like you.’

‘M/N, this was cute so i got it for you.’

‘M/N, the novel was going for sale at the bookstore so i thought of you.’

Bang Chan felt the ache in his heart looking at the untouched gifts on M/N’s table. It didn’t seem like M/N even care to look at them. This had been even worse than when Bang Chan had know him for the first time. The walls that Bang Chan had torn down previously was rebuilt with even more concrete security and to be frank, Bang Chan was losing hope.

Bang Chan dramatically plops onto the lunch table across ChangBin and whined, “he doesn’t even touch it, i doubt he even looked at it. I had to throw all the cake(s) and pastries that turned bad. Binnie, give me ideas please. I have to do something. I need to apologise to him.”

“You’re finally admitting that you don’t want to see him suffer?” ChangBin smirked. Bang Chan sighed in defeat and nodded to his words. “I mean, if the gifts aren’t working, perhaps do something more brazen? Like, just grab him and make him look at you and talk it out.”

“It could work, maybe?”

“Oh, by the way, have you heard about it?”

“About what?”

“It could be a rumour but proof has been circulating that M/N use to be a porn star. He was involved in a child pornography.” ChangBin said and Bang Chan gasped, “it’s sickening knowing that people are actually into it.”

“Please, tell me you’re joking.”

“I told you it could be a rumour. I haven’t seen it for myself.”

Bang Chan abruptly stood from his chair, taking his belongings before he rushes out of the cafeteria. Reality smacked him hard on the face. Just when he thought he knew M/N that well, there was still some untold secrets kept by him. Could this be the reason why M/N declared Bang Chan was his will to live? Could this be why M/N confessed that Bang Chan had saved him from himself? Could M/N have gone through severe depression because if the rumour had been true, it could tear down one’s soul? Now, Bang Chan felt even worse than before. The red headed find himself sprinting to his dorm room, barging into it. There, M/N sat on his bed with his phone in his hand.

“You,” Bang Chan took a deep breath, trying to calm the adrenaline from sprinting.

He locked the door to their dorm room, stomping towards M/N and he stood right in front of the latter who couldn’t care less to even look at him once.

“You…” Bang Chan breathed, “did you know that there are rumours going on that you were involve in a child pornography?” Bang Chan could see how M/N’s frail begin to tremble. “Is it true?” This time, M/N’s head dropped as if he was a child ashamed of being scolded. “M/N? Is it true that you were involved in a child pornography?”

“And so what?” Bang Chan breath hitched as soon as M/N spoke. It had been awhile since he last heard the latter talk and his voice still never failed to give shivers down his spine.

Bang Chan honestly didn’t expect himself to feel anger arise in him at M/N’s response, “so what?! You should’ve told me! You should’ve explain to me the reason why you’ve been telling me that i saved your life! I could’ve understood you better and—,”

“AND WHAT?!” It happened in a blink of an eye. M/N stood up, pushing Bang Chan hard that he had fell onto his bed, “SO YOU CAN TELL CHANGBIN AND YOUR GROUPS OF FRIENDS THAT I AM THE CHILD IN THAT PORNOGRAPHY? SO YOU CAN CONFIRM THE RUMOURS THAT HAVE BEEN CIRCULATING AROUND?! SO YOU CAN JOIN THE SENIORS WHO ARE INTENDING TO RAPE ME?” Raged was seen across M/N as he towers over Bang Chan, spit flying from his lips. In that moment of anger he'd said everything, whatever was most hurtful, whatever would give him the opportunity to relieve himself, “IF I HAD TOLD YOU EVERYTHING THAT HAD HAPPENED IN THE PAST, WHAT COULD YOU HAVE DONE? COULD YOU SAVE ME FROM BEING ADOPTED BY CRIMINALS? COULD YOU SAVE ME FROM BEING SOLD TO PEOPLE, TO HUMANS FOR THEIR PLEASURE? WOULD YOU UNDERSTAND THE TRAUMA AND SUFFOCATION I FELT? WOULD YOU UNDERSTAND ME IF I SAID THAT I HAD TO KILL PEOPLE BECAUSE ALL OF THEM RAPED ME AT ONCE? COULD YOU BE HYUNJIN HYUNG TO ME? COULD YOU BRING BACK HYUNJIN HYUNG TO ME? COULD YOU STOP ME FROM TRYING TO KILL MYSELF EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. NIGHT?”

Bang Chan felt his heart throbbed immensely at M/N’s words. The pain and despair he had made M/N felt was nothing compared to what M/N had been through.

“I LOVED YOU! I LOVED YOU CHRISTOPHER BANG! YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE LIKE A FUCKING ANGEL IN DISGUISE. FINALLY, I COULD BREATHE! I FOUND A WILL TO LIVE! I WAS ECSTATIC GENUINELY HAPPY TO BE WITH YOU. I WAS HOPING THAT ONE DAY WHEN WE GRADUATE, GET A JOB, GET A HOUSE TOGETHER, I WOULD MARRY YOU. I WOULD MAKE YOU THE HAPPIEST MAN ALIVE IN THIS WORLD! BUT NO! EVERYTHING WAS A FUCKING BET! EVERYTHING CAME CRUSHING DOWN ONCE AGAIN AND I WANTED TO DIE IF IT WASN’T FOR HYUNJIN HYUNG’S LAST WISH! I WANTED TO JUST JUMP OFF THE BRIDGE THE NIGHT I—,”

M/N stopped himself abruptly, his breath ragged from his outburst, tears streaming down his cheeks. He took a second to breathe, rethinking about that words he had retorted. M/N felt guilty. He shouldn’t have burst out to Bang Chan out of anger. He should’ve just ignored him like he had been for the past few weeks. He shouldn’t have made the impression that Bang Chan had made M/N think about suicide. No one was at fault but, him. M/N was at fault to even exist in the first place.

“M/N,” Bang Chan’s chest heaved with each sob, breath catching in irregular gasps. Tears streamed down his cheeks, unchecked and hot against his skin. His throat tightened, a lump forming that made it difficult to speak. In that moment, M/N felt his heart shatter into pieces. In all his years of living, someone was crying for him. No one should need to cry for him, especially Bang Chan. He didn’t know what he should do and so, M/N left the dorm room, leaving the sobbing one.

“Here, I got you water.” ChangBin sat on the Bang Chan’s bed as the latter hide himself under the covers. Bang Chan finally crawled out and took the water.

“Why are you here?” His voice was hoarse as if he had been crying for days but, in actually fact, it had only been a couple of hours since M/N left him.

“M/N came running to find me. He said that I should come here and take care of you.”

“He did?”

ChangBin nodded, handing over a warm towel to Bang Chan, “i assume you guys had a fight? None of your faces look any better. You look like a puffer fish and so did M/N just now. I’m surprise you guys can see the world with those swollen eyes.”

“I fucked up ChangBin. I fucked up so bad that i just wanna go back to the time i met M/N for the first time.” Bang Chan sniffled.

“That bad huh?”

“I love M/N, i really do. Even if it wasn’t a bet, I would’ve still fallen for M/N.”

“Finally.” ChangBin smiled, “took you so long to admit it. I apologise to M/N earlier on and explain to him the real reason behind the bet. If isn’t for our seniors who threaten us to make our college life miserable on the bet, we wouldn’t have done it. Surprisingly, M/N asked for the seniors names and when i told him, he was silent.”

“What do you mean?”

“He said those seniors had been after him for a while now. He mentioned something about them knowing the truth from their government parents. I didn’t understand him though, do you?”

“Wait, did you said government parents?”

“Yes.” ChangBin affirmed, “Tae-il sunbaenim’s parents are apart of the government ministers.”

“If they are government minister, it means they technically can know each and every person’s background don’t they?”

“Technically yes,”

“Oh no.”

“Woah, where are you going?” ChangBin was taken aback when Bang Chan practically fly out of his bed, grabbing his phone and putting on his shoes. “Can you at least explain something to me?”

“I need to find M/N. I need to talk to him. I need to apologise. I need,” Bang Chan took a deep breath, “I need M/N.”

“Oh, good luck.”

Bang Chan wasn’t gonna waste anytime because if his institution was right, he needs to find M/N fast. Upon knowing another truth, Bang Chan assume that Tae-il and his gang of friends knew about M/N’s past thus they might have been the ones with the intention to rape M/N all this while. This time, Bang Chan was determine to be save M/N. He needs to. He spammed M/N’s phone with calls and messages but to no avail, there was no response. He searched through the campus asking around if anyone had seen M/N but everyone looked at him in disgust instead. That was until Bang Chan came across a group of seniors in the hallway, he didn’t approach them but, he overheard their conversation that put him sick to the stomach.

“Damn was M/N good.”

“I would do him again.”

“Tae-il is making a fortune.”

“Fucking him was definitely better than a woman.”

“Though the location could be better. The gym storeroom smelled horrible.”

BINGO.

Bang Chan sprinted as fast as a wind to the gym storeroom. He was met with groups of people hanging outside the storeroom. Bang Chan ignored the calls from the people that had deemed to be his ‘friends’ as he stomped into the storeroom. His blood turns cold the moment he was met with what was happening. M/N was tied up in ropes and Bang Chan could see the friction burns underneath it. He was naked, blindfolded, body covered in bruises and blood. As if M/N was a doll, three people were doing the deed, raping him simultaneously on the front and back. Tae-il sat by them, on the chair, cigarettes in his hand smirking proudly as if he had done the best thing in the world.

“FUCK OFF!”

Rage was all he saw. He couldn’t think ahead as he lounge towards them. RED. That was all Bang Chan could see. He didn’t know how or what had happened but he felt someone pulling him away from Tae-il and he came into realisation. Tae-il lay on the floor a couple of feet away from M/N, beaten almost to death. He could hear ChangBin telling him that everything was okay now. No, it wasn’t. M/N was still blindfolded, unaware of what was happening, trembling and curling up on the ground. Bang Chan realised he couldn’t save M/N. He failed to save him.

“M/N?” Bang Chan’s hand trembled as he reached out to M/N. He released the ropes, covering M/N’s fragile frail with the blanket Lee Know had handed over. “M/N, its me. It’s okay. You’re okay.” Bang Chan removed the blindfold and M/N’s e/c orbs looked at him but, his heart shattered. M/N wasn’t crying neither did he show the intention to cry. His eyes wasn’t even watery to begin with. All M/N did was stare into Bang Chan’s teary eyes, lifelessly and Bang Chan broke down as he embraced M/N tightly.

What had he done?

••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Author’s Note: Apologies for the late update but, here it is! I might just add one last part to this! A happy ending? Or shall I wreck my own heart with a sad ending?

Masterlist

Victor | he/him | 21

about me + request rules

requests are open! taglist and emoji anons are open as well <3

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@forever-atiny

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smut - s

fluff - f

angst - a

suggestive - m

smau - smau

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platonic-p

thoughts-☾

recent:

In sickness and in health

skz thirsting over you (hyung line ver.)

skz thirsting over you (maknae line ver.)

Stray Kids OT8

OT8 reaction to intimidating male reader (f,m)

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YOU WHAT??? (p,c)

I'm Sorry (a,p)

skz thirsting over you (hyung line ver.)(m,c,f)

skz thirsting over you (maknae line ver.)(m,c,f)

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Late Nights (s)

Mother Hen (p,f)

Lee Know

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Academic Validation (a,f)

untitled.(a)

Pretty Lady(s,f)

Scream(s)

One Last Time(a)

In sickness and in health(a,f)

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Panic Attack (a,f)

Hwang Hyunjin

Missed You (f,s)

sunshine artist!hyunjin x grumpy writer!reader ☾(f)

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Just a Joke? (a,f)

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Barely there (a,f)

Lee Felix

That's obviously not what I meant (c,m,p)

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Yang Jeongin

"Shh"(s)

9月15日 | 夢恋 [pixiv] 

Posted with permission. All the credit goes to wonderful artist/author, not me. Thus, please do not edit/repost this article without permission.

The fact that I am intrigued with this ship is just, WOW

pop quiz

this is my gift to nekomancer for @the-kakashi-lounge-blog holiday exchange!!

ao3

wc: 3.2k

summary: kabuto wakes up in the hospital and kakashi is there for him. kakashi x kabuto established relationship as adults

tw: hospital, blood mention, mention of injuries, memory loss

Everything hurt. Every inch, every fiber of his being, hurt. His eyes stung as his vision transitioned from fuzzy black to vague red, only to be cursed by blinding white. He groaned, moving to lay his arm over his face to protect against this undetermined threat. Then he attempted to open his eyes again to find the results exactly the same as the previous test. Had he not changed the variable?

He felt out his right arm, noting each chakra node as he sensed down from his shoulder. The stretch intensified the ache, then allowed some relief after a moment. Gradually, he wiggled his fingers. He was pleased to feel them follow direction. He continued with a wrist rotation. Satisfied with that range of movement, he advanced to checking the bend of his elbow. It appeared to flex correctly. Excellent. Finally, the shoulder. Thankfully, it responded, and he was able to block the light from streaming into his eyes as he began the arduous process of opening them.

After two or three minutes of this, he was successfully able to take in visual cues. Ceiling tiles. So he was inside. Fluorescent lighting. Inside a government-funded building. Primarily white, with metal accents. Hospital. Delightful.

In the corner of the room, someone snored.

He took a moment to take in as much of the room as he could before moving, to give himself as much knowledge as possible before possibly alerting this person to his consciousness. There was no way to know how safe he was with this person, and they likely had the home advantage of entering the space while awake. Once he had memorized the layout of the room and found three weapons within reach, he began the process of sitting up to get a look at his companion.

The man in the corner looked rough. His clothes were torn and dirty, stained with what was likely blood that had now dried and was flaking off. There was a layer of dried sweat clinging against his skin as tightly as the fabric that covered his lower face. His hair had a clump of mud in it and laid in every direction except down. His forehead protector was pulled down over one eye, a Leaf village insignia carved into the metal. Fairly standard shinobi post-mission aesthetic, honestly. The only thing that stood out was the well-worn orange novel held loosely in his hand. The back cover had the required content warning symbol embossed in red, marking it a pornographic book. Given the angle it currently laid at, as well as the shinobi’s chin drifting slowly toward his chest, it was clear that he had fallen asleep while reading it.

Who on earth falls asleep reading porn in a hospital room?

Someone in the hallway passed by the open door, stopping for a double-take when they noticed him sitting up in bed. “Dr. Haruno! He’s—”

Before they could finish their thought, a flash of pink darted around their frame and approached him with one hand glowing a muted pistachio green. The doctor hovered her hand over his body, running along its entire surface with a concentration on his chest and head. This went on in silence for nearly thirty seconds before she took a step back.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, glasses.” She snapped, then reached for the bedside table and handed him a bundle of wire and glass. “Suppose I can’t call you glasses ‘till you’ve got these on, though.”

He analyzed them in his hands, realizing the pieces were folded together. He kept his movements smooth to cover the uncertainty as he unfolded the contraption. Muscle memory took over and he flipped them around, bringing them up to his face and slotting them over his ears. Suddenly the pink blur became a person, and the snoring man became significantly more exhausted.

She reached for a clipboard and sat down. “How are you feeling?”

He took a moment, considered the dull ache registered by each nerve ending, and replied. “My third chakra node in my left foot is considerably damaged. Two of the nodes near my ribs are also in bad shape, though the rib itself may be broken and that could explain it. My head is throbbing, my mouth is dry, and I’m experiencing sensitivity to light. What am I looking at, chakra exhaustion?”

She nodded, making quick notes with her tongue tucked beneath her teeth. “Yeah, you presented with acute chakra exhaustion, though not a severe case. We were much more concerned with the abdominal bleeding, caused by several broken ribs. One of them is still on the mend. There’s only so much healing a body can take at once, you know how it is. A couple more sessions and that’ll be fixed.” Finished scribbling, she slapped the pen against the clipboard. “Your biggest concern was the head injury, though. That’s what we’ve been focused on. It’s great to see you awake.”

He shifted, struggling to push himself into a better sitting position. “How long have I been out?”

She leaned forward to help him into a more comfortable spot. “Four days. Well, three and some change.”

“And has he,” he nodded toward the sleeping nin, “been here the whole time?”

Something in the woman’s expression softened and her eyes filled with pain and something else he didn’t understand. “He has, yeah. He refused to leave your side, even if someone else promised to take over for him.” She cleared her throat, the mist over her eyes fading, replaced by a glimmer. “He insisted on being here when you woke up, and now he’s sleeping. Even without leaving the room, he’s still late to everything important,” she chuckled.

“He seems very…dedicated,” he murmured.

She grinned. “Yeah, he’s dedicated to two things: you and that stupid book.” She stood up, moving silently as she approached the man in the mask. Delicately, she stretched her hand out, reaching for the novel. As soon as her fingertips grazed the off-white pages, the book slammed shut and she jumped back.

“Not on your life, Sakura,” the man yawned, sliding the book into a pocket of his vest. After shaking off the rest he clearly needed, he turned toward the bed and froze. “Kabuto?”

He felt a tug of familiarity and nodded, throat suddenly dry. “It’s me.”

The shinobi was by him in a second, arms wrapped gingerly around his torso, squeezing as tight as they dared with a broken rib, and one hand lost itself in his hair. The man’s face was buried in his neck, and he smelled comforting. Kabuto found himself returning the hug, gripping onto the fabric of the military-issued vest. After a tense moment, the two separated.

“How are you? Are you okay? I didn’t—I couldn’t—I’m so sorry, Kabuto, I—”

Sakura pushed his chair directly next to his bed and guided the man into it. “Kakashi, deep breaths, everything’s going to be fine. Don’t make me admit you for a panic attack.”

Kakashi. Why was that so significant?

Kakashi cleared his throat, shaking his head and settling back into the chair. “I know, I just—” he took his hand, entwining his left fingers around Kabuto’s right to clasp them together. “I’m sorry I couldn’t prevent this from happening to you. I knew the mission was too dangerous for you to go alone, but you wouldn’t let me go with you.”

“I don’t know why I would refuse your help,” Kabuto said, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb across Kakashi’s hand. “You seem fairly capable.”

Sakura nodded. “He is when he keeps his nose out of that book.”

His gaze shifted down, watching his thumb reassure the shinobi next to him as if he had done it before. The soldier’s hands were calloused, but not dry or rough, and his fingernails were trimmed short. He wore a plain band, black, embossed with a diamond grid pattern, on his ring finger. It glinted dully, as if he had been wearing it for some time now.

Kakashi noticed his interest in their hands together and brought his other hand to wrap around Kabuto’s. He squeezed his hand, imparting some kind of meaning, then reached over to the bedside table where the glasses had been, and picked up something small and silver. Delicately, he took Kabuto’s left hand and slid the ring onto his fourth finger. It fit perfectly, and it sported a matching grid pattern and similar level of wear.

Ah.

“I was starting to worry you wouldn’t wake up,” Kakashi murmured. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

Kabuto bit back a bitterness that was rising in his throat. “You may have to find out.”

He gripped his hand tighter, shaking his head. “You’re going to be fine, Kabu. Sakura and the medical team have been working on you every day. You’re gonna come home any day now, right?”

Sakura, this time, did not nod. She made eye contact with Kabuto and reached out for her clipboard, making a note. Raising a flashlight, she stepped toward the bed.

“Go ahead and follow this light with just your eyes, please…” She moved it in lines, up and down and side to side. “Excellent. Now, can you tell me how old you are?”

Kabuto opened his mouth, ready to answer, but no words came. Sakura’s forehead crinkled, and she continued. “That’s okay. Can you tell me what year it is?”

His response was the same.

“What about who the Hokage is?”

Kakashi looked back and forth at them in confusion. “Kabuto, what’s going on? Just answer her, it’s simple.”

Kabuto cleared his throat. “I know that the first Hokage was Hashirama Senju. I know that my favorite color is purple. I know that your name is Sakura Haruno.”

“And my name?”

He swallowed, staring straight ahead. “I believe she called you Kakashi.”

The hand holding his grew cold, but the grip did not relinquish. “Kabuto. What’s my last name?”

They sat together in a painful, tense silence that grew worse with every passing second. Finally, Kabuto answered, “The same as mine, I think. But I don’t remember what that is.”

Before Kakashi could reply, Sakura jumped in. “Sometimes that happens with head injuries. It just takes a moment to remember silly things, but a lot of the time the memory comes back within an hour of waking up.”

Kakashi became stiff, his shoulders rigid and his face unreadable. “You said ‘a lot of the time’. Give me a number.”

Sakura flipped through pages on the clipboard, beginning an elaborately vague answer. Kakashi grabbed the thin piece of plastic, holding on to the metal clip at the top as if clinging to his own life. “Sakura. That’s my husband in this bed. We’ve been together for the better part of a decade. One more time—give me a number.”

She looked over Kabuto, then locked eyes with Kakashi, transitioning from friend to doctor. “Forty percent of patients. Thirty percent see memory restoration in the first twenty-four hours. Twenty within two weeks.”

Kabuto looked up, the light glinting off his glasses. “And the other ten percent?”

She swallowed and hardened her stance. “The remaining ten percent are unlikely to recall lost memories at all. And that’s further complicated in patients with a prior history of amnesia.”

The look on Kakashi’s face made it clear that he apparently had a history of amnesia.

“But we’re not concerned about that right now, okay? You’ve only been awake half an hour. Give it time, don’t stress out about it, and we’ll see what happens.” Sakura turned toward the door. “I’ll be back this afternoon for another round of healing on that rib. We’ll assess your memory then if you’d like. Sound good?”

Kabuto nodded, feeling strangely distant. “Sounds great, Dr. Haruno.”

With that, she left the room and took the only thing preventing sadness and awkward silence from setting in with her. Kabuto fidgeted with his blanket, noting the scratchy texture and trying to decide if it was nice, or familiar, or if other blankets felt different. He was pretty sure they could be softer. The one in his home was softer. And grey, he thought.

“Shuriken print?”

Kakashi looked up, startled by the intrusion to the silence. “Sorry?”

Kabuto raised a fistful of fabric up. “The blanket in the house. It’s grey with shuriken all over it, right?”

Kakashi’s face lit up, and he leaned forward. “It is, yeah! You chose the sheets; they have little beakers and test tubes all over them. The dogs hate them.”

“We have dogs?”

The light dimmed a bit, but the resiliency powered on. “We do. Kind of a lot, actually. They’re summons, though, so they’re not all in the house all the time. They don’t love your experiments—something about the smells—so they leave your lab alone, but there’s usually one or two in the house at any time. I think they’re all away now, though. They don’t like the apartment when it’s empty.”

Kabuto, on instinct, brought a hand up to Kakashi’s face. “You should go home. Take a shower, get something to eat.” His hand drifted into the mess of silver hair, then retreated back to his side. “You’re tired, Kakashi. I’m okay. I’ll be here when you get back.”

He shook his head, tucking his chin down to his chest. “I’m not going anywhere. Especially not now that you’re awake.”

They sat again in a silence for a few moments.

“Do you want a hair tie?”

It was Kabuto’s turn to be startled. “Sorry?

Kakashi pulled a thin black elastic band off of his wrist and offered it to him. “Your hair. You normally wear it pulled back in a ponytail. You say it helps you focus better if your hair isn’t touching your face, but I think you just don’t like styling it in the mornings.”

Slowly, Kabuto took the band and flexed his fingers against it, testing the stretch. After a moment, he raked his hands through his hair, pulling the silver strands up into a high ponytail. He fumbled with the elastic, unsure how tight to wrap it.

It was clear Kakashi was smiling beneath his mask. “Is that… Is that what feels natural to you?”

Kabuto felt the silliness but couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong. “Not exactly… Do I normally have a mirror?”

He nodded. “You do, yes. Do you want me to try and find one here?”

The tie snapped, stinging against Kabuto’s fingertips and landing on the floor. He swore using a swear word he hadn’t known before hearing it in his own voice, and Kakashi bit back a laugh. Kabuto sighed, leaning back. “No, you don’t need to do that.” Kakashi seemed satisfied with that, and pushed up his sleeve to find another hair band, this one purple. When he offered that up, Kabuto hesitated. “Can you show me how I do it?”

“Yeah, of course.” For a second, he leaned forward as if he were going to put it on Kabuto himself, but only adjusted the way he was sitting so he could have a better view. Painstakingly, he finger-combed through the thick locks of dirty hair that refused to obey gravity, organizing them one by one to lay flat against his head, pinning them against his skull with the palm of his hand as he went. Slowly, he gathered it all at the base of his neck, looping the hair tie around the bundle twice to knot it at his nape. The resulting ponytail was short and aggressively bristled, but present.

“Thank you.” Kabuto admired the effort that went into the demonstration. “You look handsome like this.”

Kakashi smiled, but there was no light in his eyes. “Thanks. I’ve tried a couple times to actually wear my hair like this, but every time I look in the mirror, I see my dad, and then I have to take it out immediately.” He shrugged. “You know how it is.” He paused, taking stock of the situation and Kabuto’s non-reaction. “I guess you don’t know, actually. It’s not important.” He slipped the elastic band off, freeing his hair and fluffing it back into place. “Ponytails are not for me. You, however, don’t look like yourself without one.”

Kabuto took a moment, ruminating on Kakashi’s words while he began the process of pulling his own hair back behind his head. For some reason, his muscles refused to remind him how this felt without a mirror to check his work in. Finally he gave in and turned to face his spouse.

“Would you mind helping me?”

Kakashi blinked several times in a row, then nodded, taking the hair tie and standing up. “Lean forward a little?” As Kabuto did, he stepped behind him and began running his fingers through his hair.

It felt normal. The sensation of this shinobi’s hands on his head, so close to so many vital and vulnerable places on his body was not frightening. Even if he couldn’t remember who this was, he knew in his heart that he trusted him with his life. This tiny act felt familiar, and comfortable, and warm.

All too quickly, the hair was gathered and Kakashi wrapped the purple band around it. “You normally do it three times. Four if the hair tie is stretched out. And then you kind of pull your hair like this—”

Kabuto’s hands went up to meet Kakashi’s, and together they tightened the ponytail. There were fireworks dancing in their fingertips, and they released the hair at the same time, letting it fall against his back. Kakashi returned to his seat by the bed, and Kabuto took his hand again.

“It feels right. This—this feels right, Kakashi.”

He smiled again beneath the mask, eyes glinting. “Good.”

His eye caught Kakashi’s wedding band, and he ran his finger over the engraving, focusing on it. It was there, just on the edge of his mind, what was the word—

“Hatake!”

Immediately, with deeply ingrained instinct, he replied “I didn’t do it.”

They both laughed, holding each other tenderly.

“Your name. Kakashi Hatake. This is your family crest?”

“Our family crest, yes.” He traced his finger over Kabuto’s ring.

“Something about seeing it, that helped. I think visuals are going to help me remember,” Kabuto said.

Kakashi appeared to make that a mental note, and started to list off things that might help bring back memories. In his vest and pockets, he had the Icha Icha book, some weapons, a photo of the two of them together printed on the same near-indestructible material that Kabuto used for his—

“Kabuto. I’ve got it.”

“You’ve got what?”

“I can’t believe I’m so stupid. I’ve been making fun of you for years, and you were right. You were completely,” he stood up, reaching for his shoes and slipping them on, “and utterly right, every minute of the way.”

“Kakashi? Care to let me in on the secret?”

He leaned down, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve been writing these shinobi skill cards. They’re flash cards for your entire life. You made them with this special jutsu paper so they’re really sturdy, and they require your chakra signature to be read, and you have literally a thousand of them, if not more.” He cupped his hand around his jaw, thumb gently gliding along his cheekbone. “Kabuto. You made the cheat sheet for your entire life.”

THE SEQUEL !!!! OH MY GOD ITS EVERYTHING I DREAMED OF AND MORE- YOU DID SO WELL ON IT OMFG

ps - is there any name you would like to be called by ? i was going to call you kim, but i didnt want to assume ^^;

I go by the nickname AiXun. you can call me that dear 🤍