Secrets In The Order

🎃 Trick or treat!! 🎃

Hiii have a wonderful halloween :)

:) I wish I saw this sooner! Happy late ass halloween to you too! And happy early Christmas if you celebrate it!

Tag Game!

rules- your URL song meme!

Tagged by @maevesversion tysm love <33

K- Kill Bill- SZA

I- I Sent My Therapist to Therapy- Alec Benjamin

N- No One Knows- Queens of The Stone Age

G- Gangsta's Paradise- Coolio

D- Drag 'Em N The River- U.N.L.V.

O- Obsessed- Mariah Carey

M- Misery- Maroon 5

H- Heartbreak Hotel- Whitney Houston, Faith Evans & Kelly Price

A- Agoraphobic- CORPSE

T- The Color Violet- Tory Lanez

E- Everybody Wants to Rule the World- Tears for Fears

No presh tags: @anakinsbbgirl @anakinstwinklebunny @luvskywxlker @lukeslights4ber @10angeltears10 @haydenscontroversialgf @haydensangel @ohgodmyeyes @fuckmyskywalker @leiaorganaskywalkers @mmeskywalker and anyone else <3

﹙ TAG GAME. ﹚

rules ⎯ url song meme.

thank you @dilfverz & @spcncershasting for the tags ilysm.

C ⎯ clocks by coldplay.

O ⎯ orion by metallica.

S ⎯ sex on fire by kings of leon.

M ⎯ marjorie by taylor swift.

I ⎯ into you by tamia.

C ⎯ cinnamon girl by lana del rey.

A ⎯ a year without rain by selena gomez.

N ⎯ nutshell by alice in chains.

A ⎯ as it was by harry styles.

K ⎯ kiss it better by rihanna.

I ⎯ in the end by linkin park.

N ⎯ no need to argue by the cranberries.

no pressure tags. @anqeliclust @anakin-pilled @st4rfckerz @stargirlrchive @heartsforvin @venuscameron @obxsprincess @forevergirlposts @fawnchives ⎯ ᡣ𐭩.

First Glance (Part Seven)

Procrastinate as you both may, eventually you both had to face what the Council had in mind as a punishment for your guys' sudden actions. When you both boarded the ship in order to go back to Coruscant, Anakin stayed as close to you as possible. "I'm going to take responsibility," He advises you. "You don't have to pay for what I did." You scoff, your eyes burning into his. "Who said I didn't want to take some blame?" He glares at you almost immediately, but his eyes inform you that you might've went too far. "What? Why would you want to do that?"

"What do you mean, 'why'? Because I agreed to go with you. That makes me responsible for myself, so why would I just hide behind you and make myself look like a victim when I'm not?" Anakin's gaze darts away, as he processes what you say. As you gaze out the windows, at all the near and far systems and planets, Anakin finds himself deep into a sea of thought. The thoughts of losing you, losing the special relationship between you because of his need to have gone and found his mother. Was it worth it? Was it? The ship landed at Coruscant not too long after his train of thoughts, and you both had to face repercussions.

Stepping off the ship, and beginning the anticipating walk into the Jedi Temple, Anakin had to make sure the two of you weren't presumed to have run off to escape the Jedi Order. Entering the Temple, and meeting the heavy and stress-inducing gaze of the many Jedi Masters. "Young Y\N and young Skywalker..." Began your master, Mace Windu, his eyes resembling steel as they rested upon the two of you. Yoda's eyes, however, went to your guys' clothing. "Gone to another planet, you have. Where?"

Anakin steps forward. "To Tatooine, Master." Yoda nods and leans back. From the corner of your eye, you can visibly see Obi-Wan's eyes scanning the rest of the Jedi Master's body language and facial expressions. "And why?" You remain silent, under the words of Anakin and the Council. "Because I was having nightmares of my mother, Master. I suspected she was in danger." Your eyes immediately go to study what the Council, specifically Obi-Wan, Yoda and Windu thought of Anakin's words. "So you decided to bring Y\N with you? To potentially endanger her because you suspected your mother was in danger?" Questioned Windu. Anakin nodded. "Wait, wait, Master, he simply asked me if I would like to come and I didn't deny him!"

Windu's, Yoda's and the entire Council's eyes, followed by Anakin's eyes snapped to you. "Why?" Obi-Wan demanded quickly, his eyes focused intently upon you. "Because it's what a friend would do. A friend would offer comfort to someone when they need it. That's what I did." Yoda smiled a bit and then met your gaze. "That, dear padawan, is admirable." Windu nodded slightly. "Of course. But, Y\N, you need to understand that it is not of a Jedi to just up and leave. Especially you." With a heavy and audible sigh, you fought to keep from bursting out again, unfortunately, your will was broken quickly. "But aren't the Jedi supposed to comfort and protect? To give up what they have in order to be what someone needs? Aren't we selfless? And compassionate?" You argue fiercely, and while it was a seemingly steady argument, it fell to deaf ears.

"The punishment in which you both will be receiving respectably will be the inability to see each other, and to see anyone else for an undecided time. For you, Y\N, you will be resuming training to take the trials but shall not be allowed on missions until told so." Windu explained to you, his eyes both serious but understandably embittered. You sigh softly but nod at his words, knowing you had to face the consequences at some point.

"Well, Anakin. The punishment for you and your actions is to go back to the basics of the Force and what it means to be a Jedi, followed by a setback in your taking the trials." Sighed Obi-Wan as he faced his padawan. Anakin's body language, as he stood with his arms by his sides and his eyes darting patiently from each Jedi Master and whomever is speaking, but his head was noticeably hung, as if he was embarrassed. "Very well then. The meeting is adjourned." Announced Yoda as he stood up from his seat, followed by the rest of the Masters. With a heavy heart and swallowing a most bitter pill, you sweep back to your room, dressing back into your standard given Jedi robes and replacing your lightsaber on your hip. Glaring at the mirror, you were faced with the reality of your problems. Now, you couldn't see Anakin for however long and you were blocked from going on missions.

Meanwhile, Anakin was faced with his punishment while he was gazing at the door to your room. He purposely took the route to your bedroom to see you a last time, but upon the obvious closed door, he decided to just make his way to his quarters. Of course he should've considered the danger he put you in, but it never seemed like he was openly placing you in danger, rather placing you in his care, and him in yours. Was it wrong of him to take you with him? Yes, to the Council but it seemed to have so much more depth than a simple yes.

It felt like he needed the care and the comfort of you in such a way it made him feel like he was obligated to have you accompany him. But was that wrong? What was he feeling when he was around you? Simple friendship or was it something more? No, that couldn't happen. You both were Jedi trainees, with a close bond, but it was not like he felt attached to you. Or maybe he did? What else could explain how he kept coming back to you since the night you both met? He needed to know.

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Tags:

@sweetcheesecakesblog

@haydenpookiebear

(As always, let me know if you'd like to be added\taken off of my taglist!)

Destined (Part Two)

It had been a few years since you started training under Darth Vader. He believed you had tons of potential and wasn't very hard on you, but he was quite inattentive in the field of giving you attention more than for training or whatever random questions you have.

Your feelings had spiked, you had to admit, but how was this even possible? You were already convinced you love him, so why does it feel like you do more? Maybe it's because you are closer to him than ever before. Today was no different from yesterday, you had training and more alone time. "Master, are you ready?" You asked, taking off the gloomy black cloak he had gifted you and taking your lightsaber off of your hip, assuming a stance. However, you were cut short when you saw Vader staring at something and you sensed his emotions, he was... sad? You approached him, wondering what you would find.

"Master?" You uttered, touching his shoulder very slightly. His breathing spiked, and he instinctively turned around and when he spotted you, you felt his emotions shift into the expressionless Vader you knew. "Yes?" He asked, his breathing slowing. "Are you... alright?" You asked cautiously, trying your best not to get on his bad side anymore than you might've already. He gazed at you, his helmeted head seeming to lean down slightly and the shaded black lenses in his helmet for his eyes, you felt like he was looking at you. "No." He answered simply, now his gaze shifted away from you, out into Space. "Why?" You peered up at him. The situation was odd, he never answered your questions like that, frankly, he barely answered any personal questions. "Luke, Luke Skywalker." He answered, and you tilted your head. "What about him?" Vader looked at you. "He is my son." He seemed to be trying to gauge your reaction to this.... surreal information.

"What?" Vader nodded simply, now clasping his hands behind his back in a seemingly thoughtful attempt to give you more time to process it. "When I was a boy, I met a Jedi Master, Qui-Gon Jinn.... He insisted I become a Jedi, and rebelled against the Council a multitude of times. His Padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi took to promising him to train me when Qui-Gon died. I was trained for ten years, took the trials, and passed. Alas, was not put on the Jedi Council in the rank of Master.... Until I witnessed a Jedi go against the Code, they were plotting to take over. I did what I had to, and my wife, pregnant with my child, died; I killed her." Your body shivered, and you practically froze. He did what? He looked back out the window. "Luke is my child." He said, his voice filled with determination, determination for what? "Master... if you do catch Luke, what are you to do with him?"

Vader looked back down at you, as if you should already know the answer and you thought for a second, and when the epiphany hit you, you gasped. "You're going to train him? Bring him over to the Dark Side?" Vader didn't reply. "But what about me? Was I... a pawn? This entire time?" Tears prickled in your eyes, and Vader looked back at you. "Your training is almost complete." He breathed, before sweeping away, out of the room without a single care in the world to how it made you feel. You stood there, dumbfounded. You thought he cared for you, and that he actually saw you as what the Empire needed... Maybe you were wrong.

OMFGGGG BOTHHHH it will be my nicknames for you because you love them so much<33333

I’m ngl I thought your post said sperm and giggles

😭🔫🔫🔫 wtfffffffff-

Can we get married?

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Yes!! When's the wedding???

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Jeez wouldn't I like to...

I’m ngl I thought your post said sperm and giggles

😭🔫🔫🔫 wtfffffffff-

I could not agree more.

Well, good morning.

To the anon who sent me three long and very passionate asks expressing how disgusting I am, how much of a freak I am, how little shame I have, that I don't have moral compass, a brain... too much insults to list.

Of course I deleted them, I don't have the time nor the energy to argue with people online. What I post on my blog is mine. Sorry if that upsets you but the best I can do for you is to tag the appropriate warnings because people don't like some stuff and sorry if you had to go through a traumatic experience but you should know that everyone reacts differently to trauma.

You said it yourself anon, you don't know the shit I've been through, you don't know what I experienced and what not, and you don't know even remotely close how much writing helps me cope with my personal issues. My obvious mental illness? That I should see a doctor? I have! And she is lovely! Honestly, people use traumatic and horrifying situations all the time not only for books, but movies, series... but when I do it in my blog it is wrong? Just because I chose to express it through words, I don't think that gives you the right to insult me. Many people write about so many things that are considered traumatic experiences such as SA, abusive relationships, even suicide, and you know why I don't go and tell them they are a fucking freak?

Because I don't care.

Because whatever they do with your life is their problem. The only thing I draw the line is when it is not 18+ stuff. In every fic I've had about the "incest writing", I explicitly mentioned it's not blood related. It is either an established relationship where it is merely a fantasy, or it is a «stepcest» situation. If I don't like something, I block it. I block the person and blog the tag. We are talking about a fictional character, someone who doesn't exist, someone who doesn't have a right in this. And that's the only thing I have to say to that matter.

You are choosing to wake up and send literal hate to someone who exists. Someone with feelings, with trauma, with personal issues, and without truly knowing how they can react to being criticized on their own personal space. To me a blog has to feel safe, and if you were trying to make me feel guilty or to feel ashamed... I'm sorry but it won't happen. Like I said before, I cannot take seriously anon hate. The whole concept is pretty obvious.

And I wasn't going to say anything, but I honestly won't let you talk bad about my friends. They don't deserve it. If you have a problem then let's keep it between you and me, alright? Cool. And I'm not going to insult you they way you did to me because despite the allegations I am genuinely a nice person 🩵.

— Asks.

🎵I’m a feminist obviously but I really wouldn’t mind him saving me🎶

Happiness and Tears (Part Four)

Jack looks from Penny to Puttnam, his expression pleading. "Listen, I'm not going through with this. Clay is my friend!" Penny rolls her eyes and Puttnam looks away. "I'm not doing this.." Penny looks away and then snaps her head back. "Look, you would still be sent to jail either way. It was your idea." Penny argues, her eyes on fire.

Clay's eyes, the only part of his body he can move due to the anesthesia, flicker frantically back and forth. "What the.... how can this happen?! What about Y\N?! We're gonna get married!" Clay screams, but it's all in his head. His jaw is completely paralyzed. Clay could feel the tears pricking in his eyes, the thought of dying, like this... You'd never know. How can people you've known for a good while be so heartless? The feeling of nausea stopping Clay from attempting to fight the paralision.

"Penny, he's not even awake!" Jack practically screams, his eyes desperate but determined. "How could you actually carry this out if he's not awake? He doesn't know!" As Clay listens, he can feel himself moving, his hands coming to his face, ripping off the tape on his eyes, removing the IV's and sitting up. All while Jack, Puttnam and Penny argue.

Clay stands up, his eyes red and puffy as the tears settle and reduce, replaced by pure rage. He looks down at the surgery table, to see himself, eyes open and wide, but body paralyzed on the table, chest open. Clay abandons the sight to circle around a pleading Jack, "How could you have come up with this idea?!" Clay demands, but he knows Jack cannot hear him. With a heavy and remorseful sigh, Clay sulks out of the room, his feet hitting the cold, hospital tile floor with a sense of hopelessness. But the hopelessness is not why he's walking down this hallway for, no, it's you.

Clay makes his way to the waiting sections, and he sees you as well as his mother, you both were sitting next to each other, your bag clutched tightly in your hands, so much so your knuckles were white. His mother was in no better condition; her face was red and puffy, her lipstick slightly smeared, no doubt due to how many times she's wiped her forehead in pure agony. Clay approaches you, his heart filled with nothing but love and helplessness. He slowly places his hand on your cheek, trying his best to manage a soothing caress, but he could see his hand shaking as it made contact with your angelic skin. "I'm sorry." He whispers, bending down in front of you, taking your hand in his. "I'm sorry we couldn't live the life we wanted, the life you deserved." He squeezed your hand, the tear in his eye falling to the floor.

"I'm so sorry, Y\N..." Clay looks at you, his eyes as remorseful as he reminisced his visions of everytime he ever saw you. His eyes frantically snapping shut as he leaned back, sitting on the tile in front of you, his knees up to his chest as his hands tangle in his hair. Sobbing, he mutters sorry over and over. His head jerks up, his eyes stopping at his mother as he tries to imagine what his mother would say. What would she say? "Remember, Clayton, you are nothing like your father." No, that's not what he needs.. "Clayton, where do you think you would be if you did not have to suffer some kind of pain?"

Was that it? Clayton stood up, spun around and practically ran back to the operating room. ".....Inject it." Penny's voice commanded. Clayton threw the door open and walked back to see himself on the operating table, again. Jack took the heart, a syringe handed to him by Puttnam and hesitated shortly before injected it. Clay's anger was fueled yet again.

Your POV

You have been waiting for what seemed like forever, before you see Jack approach you, and you jump up, meeting him halfway."Is he alright? Is he safe? Please tell me he's okay, please.." Jack's face was solemn, despite your best attempts at pleading. Lilith did not get up, but she watched closely. "I'm sorry, Y\N. I really am." Your world crashed. Everything became distorted as Jack went to put a reassuring hand on your shoulder. You sunk to your knees, hand in your hair. Lilith rose to her feet, striding over to the both of you. "Listen here. You get back in there and save my son." She commands, voice a deadly low. "I'm sorry, ma'am. We can't. It was a bad heart." Lilith's teeth clench. "I said, go save my son." She says, her voice as firm and stern as ever. Jack just stands there for a moment, before trying again, but Lilith turns to you. "Come here." She commands and you get to your feet and follow her. "Get me one of Clay's pill bottles." She says, extending her arm.

"What? M-Miss Beresford, I c-" Stopped short by Lilith's intense gaze as she turned her eyes to yours. "Now." She growls. Your hands shake before reaching down into your bag and grabbing a random pill bottle, handing it entirely to her. She takes it, looks at you once more before going to the cafeteria area. "One coffee." She places the right amount of money on the counter and goes to a table, sitting down and resting her head against the pure white concrete pillar conveniently placed next to her.

Jack doesn't bother staying for any longer, sensing that you need time to yourself and heads back to the operating table. He was ashamed of himself. More than he'd ever been. He killed a man. An innocent one. One he had befriending, one who was scheduled to be married. Just starting his life, getting ready. A tear prickles at the sight of Clay, eyes lifeless under the tape, and chest opened, the heart he poisoned not beating. How could he have done this? For the debt, to repay it. Penny smiles at him, Puttnam going outside to find Dr. Lupin, still on the phone somewhere near the waiting area.

"You did good. No one will know." Penny promises him, the smile vibrant on her twisted face. Jack knows, and the words stab his heart like he stabbed the syringe into the perfectly healthy heart that was supposed to help Clay. Lilith was handed her coffee, and she looked at the pill bottle in her hands, before opening it, and popping one. Then two. Three. Four. The whole bottle. Then drinking the coffee. It was all only a matter of time. In minutes, Clay was looming over his lifeless body again, shaking his head.

He began walking home, leaving the hospital, and once he did, everything came back to him. The epiphany of knowing he died because a group of doctors he trusted planned all along to kill him. He opened the door to his house, and began ascending the stairs, curling up on his bed, his hands folded below between head and pillow.

As his eyes slowly closed and sleep consumed him, he heard a familiar voice. "Hey, Clay." His mother said, and Clay's eyes opened immediately. "What are you doing here?" He looked at his mother's figure in the bedside chair, a soft smile on her face. "You need to come back." Clay scoffed lightly. "How? In case you haven't noticed, I'm dead, Ma." Lilith looks at him seriously. "And what about Y\N? Are you just going to leave her all alone?" Clay frowns. "How, Mom? How can I go back to her if my heart is poisoned?" Lilith smiles, leaning forward in her chair. "I'm here. You go back. Use my heart." Clay stops, his eyes gazing into hers intently. "Mom...."

You sit down and then see the doctors rush out, and they stop at you. "Where's Lilith?" They question at once and then stop as they see Dr, Neyer, Lilith's surgeon boyfriend, walks out with Lilith's dead body. "What happened?!" Penny questions but Dr. Neyer pushes passed and starts for the Operating Room, pulling up another table, placing Lilith on it and getting ready in his doctor attire, squeezing on his gloves and mask, he uses a scalpel to open Lilith's chest. "And what do you think you're doing?" Puttnam says, wanting to step in. Penny stops him and glares at Jack, before they both began to make a break for it. Jack stays for a few more seconds and then heads to his office.

Dr. Neyer transfers Lilith's heart into Clay and the poisoned one into Lilith. Dr. Lupin comes back inside. "What'd I- Oh, hello!" He says with a bit of a chuckle, oblivious to the situation. "Get over here." Dr. Neyer instructs and Dr. Lupin complies, grabbing a fresh pair of gloves and putting them on. "Ready the electric shock." Dr. Neyer instructs, and once more, Lupin complies. Dr. Neyer diligently works on rewiring the heart into the empty spot of Clay's chest. A minute or so later, he notices the heart isn't beating, he instructs Lupin to initiate the electric shock and it doesn't work. "Again." Neyer commands and the electric shock is initiated again, and again and over again, boosted up and then seemingly not working. "I'm sorry, sir... he's gone." Lupin says solemnly. But Neyer demands the electric shock again.

The police are called to the scene, as you call them, under the suspicion something was not right. Especially after seeing Dr. Carver and Dr. Puttnam bolting down the staircase together. The police arrive and search, to your surprise, the two doctors are caught and arrested, apparently after a police offer separately talked to Jack, who spilled everything. Hearing the news stopped your heart, and you couldn't believe ANY of it. But there it was, as clear as day, the evidence and confession.

Minutes after the police arrest Penny, Puttnam and Jack, Dr. Neyer emerges, a happy but tired smile on his face. "We did it." He announces to you, and you tilt your head before realizing; Lilith asked for those pills so she could could save Clay. Tears ran hot down your cheeks as you hugged the surgeon. It was over. An hour later, you were allowed to see Clay.

"Hey, gorgeous." He smiles and you sniffle, wrapping a gentle arm around him, kissing him feverishly. "What's wrong?" He asks, but you decide not to tell him. Not now. "I love you." You tell him, kissing him once more and intertwining your hands together on the recovery bed. "So much." He smiles at you, squeezing your hand. "I love you more."

*2 1\3 hours after initially being pronounced dead by doctors Harper, Carver and Puttnam, Clay would survive his heart transplant.*

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This took an hour and a half!

Tags:

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@haydenpookiebear