Random Thought

the purest shade of white ↪ okkotsu yuuta x reader ⸙͎｡˚⋆ 𓋼

summary: yuuta looks almost like an angel, you think to yourself grimly, as you shift on the balls of your feet. you haven't seen your best friend in a couple years now, not since he left for africa. too bad he's attempting to kill the kouhai that you're trying to protect.

tw: manga spoilers! anime watchers, do not read. mild angst but happy ending. starts at the beginning of ch. 139. naoya zenin is here and he is his classic asshole self. reader is in the same grade as yuuta, both in age and in terms of cursed energy. swearing because reader is a bad bitch. mildly suggestive. unironic use of "senpai" and "kouhai." slight descriptions of blood and injury, everyone is subjected to the author's attempts at writing dialogue and fight scenes. not proofread but at this point that shouldn't be a surprise. it is blatantly obvious that the writer also does not know how to end stories

notes: thank you for 100 new friends! :) poll is technically still up but i'm impatient and yuuta was winning by a pretty decent margin so here it is lol. divider by @/saradika-graphics!

"Yuuji!" you yelp, slicing the head off a curse with a clean stroke of your katana. Purple ichor splatters to the ground as you whirl, searching for the familiar head of pink hair. "Stay close to me!"

Behind you, Choso grunts with exertion, sending out another bolt of Piercing Blood. Panting, you weave through the curses, letting their corpses fall behind you. Yuuji, where is Yuuji?

As the last body falls, you can't but let out an exasperated huff at the sheepish grin on Yuuji's face. "Don't scare me like that," you chide. "How am I supposed to protect you if I can't even find you?" Yuuji opens his mouth to protest but you shake your head. "I made a promise," you tell him, pain rippling through your heart dully. Gojo-sensei was long gone, stolen away by one of the people he had loved most in the world. Grimacing, you sheathe your katana, mindful of the blood that stains your palms, as you try to ignore the memory of his words all those months ago.

If anything happens, I need you to protect Itadori Yuuji. I know they're going to pull something on him once I'm not there to back him up.

"Senpai, what should-"

Yuuji immediately tenses as your hand flies to the grip of your katana. "I smell a rat," you mutter, nose wrinkling as you turn to face Naoya Zenin, standing atop a bridge. He bares his teeth at you in semblance of a smile. "How perceptive as always," he mocks.

"Cut the bullshit," you snap, hand still resting on the pommel. "What do you want?"

"Fushiguro Megumi," is his rather bland response, and you shift your feet into the opening steps of Flowing River.

"What do you want with Fushiguro?" Yuuji yells, and the way Naoya's face twists makes you want to vomit.

"I think I'll have him die."

Cursed energy fills your body as you leap. Naoya's resounding cackle burns through your ears as you swing, barely grazing his shoulder. Before you can push forward off your feet, a heavy presence rests on your shoulders, locking you in place. All four of you freeze. Yuuji and Choso look horrified, and Naoya looks as though he's broken out into a cold sweat. But you know this feeling, feel it settle back into your body as if it never left.

Okkotsu Yuuta steps out from the building ledge, dark eyes unreadable. Your body sings. Yuuta, Yuuta, Yuuta! His hair has grown longer, bangs sweeping over his forehead, eyebags a little darker than they used to be. You can feel Rika's presence, swirling around you in a mass of death and decay. You're used to it. You've grown to crave it, even. His eyes meet yours, and for a split second, his facade cracks. Confusion, fear, and...regret?

Yuuta leaps, slamming into concrete and sending shockwaves deep into your bones. "Who's with Itadori?" God, even his voice is different, so different from the boy who said goodbye to you so long ago. You open your mouth to speak, but Choso beats you to it, brows furrowed.

"So you're Yuuji's executioner."

Blood turns to ice in your veins, and you can tell by the pained expression Yuuta has that you aren't hiding your emotions as well as you think you are. Naoya laughs. "I was going to tell you that, but you were being too emotional like the bitch you are."

"Who're you?"

Yuuta's voice is cold, but as Naoya babbles on, you can feel the horror settle thickly into your chest. Choso and Yuuji are talking behind you but it feels like you're underwater, you're sinking, drowning, and Yuuta must have come to a conclusion because all of a sudden he's surging forward-

You move before you can even think, steel clashing against steel. "Yuuji," you say, through gritted teeth. "Run."

A horrible grating noise fills the air as you let cursed energy flow through your body, shoving Yuuta's sword away from yourself. "I won't let you kill him," you hiss, body already shifting into Jagged Bolt. Yuuta's eyes flash as you surge forward, katana in hand.

"How would you describe my cursed technique?" you had asked Gojo, mindlessly swinging your feet. Gojo hums.

"Have you ever heard of Newton's Law's of Motion?"

You had crinkled your nose at that. "No?"

"An object in motion, stays in motion. Except you are the object. And your cursed energy is the motion." You remember how Gojo's lips curved slightly. "In other words, once you start, nobody can stop you."

You're crying, you realize with a start, as you cut a line into Yuuta's chest. Moisture seeps from your eyes as you twist your forearm into a parry, katanas sparking with each strike. Belatedly, you sense that Yuuji, your foolish, stupid, loyal kouhai has stayed, trading strikes with his fists between the precise movements of your blade. Your heart drops as Yuuta reaches for the ring on his finger.

No. No!

He twists it, and Rika appears behind you. Claws sink into your shoulder and you let out a cry of pain as she flips you into the ground.

"Be nice, Rika," Yuuta chides, as you hit the concrete. Blood spurts from your mouth as you choke, fingers clawing at the ground desperately for your katana. A piece of scaffolding is practically crushing your legs; instinctively, you know that if you try to break through it, you'll tear your limbs right off.

As Rika holds Yuuji up, you lunge desperately, uncaring of what you have to sacrifice. Inumaki's arm, the way half of Nobara's face had been practically ripped out of her skull, the remains of Nanami-san, the way that you were the one to find Maki's charred body-

I can't lose anyone else.

You scream as Yuuta pierces Yuuji's chest with his katana, cursed energy building in your legs as you prepare to shoot forward. Yuuta turns, eyes filled with an unidentifiable emotion as he sees you about to tear yourself in half just to reach Yuuji.

With a wave of his hand, Rika dives for you, and everything goes dark.

Yuuta had known you were special from the day he'd first met you. That spring, when Gojo-sensei had dropped him (and Rika) into a class of unsuspecting first years, he remembers that out of the four of them, you had moved so gracefully that he hadn't processed the katana in your hand until you'd pressed it against your throat.

"Gojo-sensei," you'd hissed. "What is this?"

While Maki, Inumaki, and Panda had been subsequently bruised up by Rika, you had dodged every single one of her movements until Rika had been (barely) called back by Yuuta.

"Another Special Grade," Gojo had hummed. "Just like you, hm?"

Special Grade?

What he hadn't realized then, he realized later; you weren't just special to him, but to the entire rest of the Jujutsu World as well. Special Grade Sorcerers were rare, Maki had told him. "You only have it because of Rika," she'd scoffed, "but she deserves it."

You quickly became one of his closest friends. You were fast enough to dodge Rika's ire, even laughing whenever she tried. You'd shown Yuuta kindness that he didn't think he deserved. You broke him out of his shell enough so that when he left for Africa, he felt as though he was standing with his own strength. His first katana had been the sister blade of your own, forged from the same metal by the same hands. The way your eyes had lit up when you saw it was a memory he cherished.

Somberly, Yuuta eyes the chains encasing your wrists and ankles, each decorated with the slips of protective paper that would nullify your cursed energy. Most sorcerers required only one. You required at least twenty.

He knows you, knows the way you always take the strawberry daifuku, leaving him the red bean ones even though he knows you prefer the red bean. He knows that you push yourself hard, harder than he's ever seen anyone work. But most of all, he knows your loyalty, how once your heart finally lets someone in, you'll never let them go.

Did you miss him like he missed you?

The chains are more for your own protection. He needs you to hear him out before you attempt to end his life for a second time. Yuuta knows now that Gojo must have asked you the same thing he'd asked him; to keep Itadori Yuji safe from the whims of the higher ups. Gojo, being the forgetful bastard he was, probably didn't alert you to the fact that he'd gone to Yuuta for help as well. Crouching, Yuuta eyes your body with a sad tilt of his lips. The injuries you'd sustained were immense, and it had taken quite a bit of his own cursed energy to reverse.

Will you forgive him?

You're asleep, breath hitching every so often. Yuuta wonders what you're dreaming of, before pushing the thought away. Tenderly, he cups your face in the palm of his hand, calloused fingers stroking your cheek.

"You need to wake up now," he murmurs, as your eyes flutter open, first in dazed confusion, before sharpening into panic.

"I'll miss you!" you'd cried, as you clung to Yuuta under the shade of the large oak. You were the first person he had told about his departure to Africa, and you took it hard. Yuuta had stood frozen as the first of your tears had dripped down your cheeks. It was the first time he'd seen you cry.

"I'll be back before you know it," he'd murmured, pressing a featherlight kiss to the top of your head. You'd looked up to him, eyes teary.

"Promise?"

"I promise," he'd said, interlocking his pinky with your own. A love like Yuuta's is a dangerous thing, you know, but in this moment you feel nothing but safe.

The first sensation you feel upon awakening is the dull ache in your (miraculously still attached) legs. The second is the warmth on your cheek. Yuuta is standing above you, hand gently resting against your face. Immediately you lunge forward, teeth bared. The rattle of chains stops you, and you swear. Of course he would have taken precautions. Yuuta looks almost hurt as you violently shake off his touch.

"Don't touch me, I swear to god I'm going to rip you apart."

Yuuta says your name sadly, but you're practically trembling with rage.

"He was just a kid, with the kind of power we wield, why the fuck would you listen to the higher ups?"

Yuuta echoes your name a bit more firmly, but you ignore him, tears building in your eyes.

"You're no better than the rest of them are you, you're just-"

"Senpai!"

Your heart stops as Yuuji pokes his head out from around the corner. They must have brought you back to Jujutsu Tech, you think distractedly. Just how long were you out?

"Yuuji!" you cry out, scanning his body for any injuries. He seems to be uninjured, but most importantly, he's alive. Tears fall down your cheeks. "Are you alright?"

Yuuji appears horrified by the sudden outburst as he hastily holds up his hands. "I'm fine, senpai, really, I'm sorry for worrying you. Okkotsu-san is actually on our side, I swear! It was a binding vow, that's why he had to actually kill me, but he did some really cool Reverse Technique shit and I'm all good now!"

Warily, you eye Yuuta, whose expression resembles that of a kicked puppy. "Okkotsu Yuuta," you say, voice hard. "Let me out of these chains right fucking now."

With a wave of his hand, the papers attached to the chains fall to the floor. Yuuta looks dejected as he looks away from you. "I'm so sor-"

Before he can finish you immediate tackle him into a hug, knocking the both of you into the floor as you bury your face into the soft slope of his neck. "You're such an idiot," you sob, unable to hide the rush of emotions going through you. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Tentatively, Yuuta wraps his arms around you, and you melt, pressing yourself closer to his body. "To be honest, I think Gojo-sensei is to blame. I think he forgot to mention to either of us that he asked us to do the exact same thing."

You let out a hiccupping laugh. "Of course he did. That forgetful asshole."

The sigh Yuuta lets out is shaky as he nuzzles the top of your head. "I'm so, so sorry," he tells you earnestly. "I must have scared you, and Rika's mad at me for making me hurt you like that. I think she likes you, even though she pretends not to."

You look up at him, really look at him, and see the look of adoration in his eyes as he stares back down at you. Thankfully Yuuji's escaped long ago, most likely understanding that you two would need privacy. "You came back," you whisper, and Yuuta's resulting smile makes your heart skip a beat.

"I promised you, didn't I?"

Before you can stop yourself, you pull Yuuta down for a searing kiss. He's so soft, and you nip at the plush of his bottom lip teasingly, pulling a whine from his throat. His large hands grip your hips, and in retaliation, you grab a fistful of his hair and tug. The breathy noise he makes goes straight between your thighs. You know he can feel your smile against his lips.

"I missed you," you breathe, pulling away. Yuuta looks dazed, lips kiss swollen, pupils so dilated that you can barely see the soft brown of his eyes.

"I love you," he blurts out, and your resulting laugh is airy as you press another chaste kiss to his lips.

"I've always loved you, Yuuta," you admit. "During Shibuya, I thought I wasn't going to make it. You were the only thing keeping me going."

The look in his eyes is fierce as he tugs you back into him, enveloping you in his arms. "You'll never have to worry about that again. You have my entire life. Where you go, I'll follow, and if I die, not even Death would be able to separate me from your side."

"Those sound a lot like wedding vows, don't you think?"

Yuuta's blush covers his entire face and you grin, pressing one last kiss to his lips. "Come on now. We have kids we need to protect."

As Yuuta leads you to where the others have convened, even under the dark circumstances you're in, the warmth of his hand clutching yours fills you with a giddiness you hadn't experienced in months. The sentiment is quickly dashed as soon as Maki opens her mouth.

"Fucking finally. Inumaki owes me 3,000 yen."

they give someone you don’t like their hoodie

CHARACTERS: akaashi + kageyama + kenma + (gn!reader)

REQUEST: hii! can i request a scenario wherein they give their hoodie to a girl that their s/o doenst like (whether it be to annoy them or just because they’re oblivious) hope this hasn’t been asked before >< and i was hoping you could write for kenma kageyama and akaashi !! btw i love your works :)) i hope you’re doing well !! stay safe 😇 • by anonymous

WARNINGS: none

NOTES: i wrote that they did it cause they were oblivious! <3 and thank u!! this is a mini hc btw hope that’s okay!

Keep reading

Keep on going, it'll get better soon. Even if you see this or not. There will always be people there for you in life.

What happens once you kill yourself? Because I'm ready to go.

You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you won’t and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he can’t even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to  her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But she’s never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she’ll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now there’s something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but you’re gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn’t leave the house anymore, she can’t even get out of bed and she’s getting thinner and thinner because it’s too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesn’t sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and that’s when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly she’s screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because they’re all  busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her it’s gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, you’re not there to do it, everything is dark now that you’re gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they don’t talk to each other anymore, they don’t talk to anyone, they’re all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he can’t breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he can’t fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, he’s never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldn’t save you and he’s never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you’re gone, and they miss you, and they don’t know why you left but it must’ve been their fault and they should’ve stopped you and they should’ve told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself

but you killed everyone else around you too. 

100 likes!

heartmaddie's christmas event; ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ stars align

hello my loves !! welcome to my first ever event ₊˚⊹ ᥫ᭡.

this is a small tribute to all the love & support i've received over the last few months that i've been writing on tumblr. i'm overjoyed that each and every one of you have enjoyed my writing, and i'm eternally grateful for every reader, i love you all so much.

unwrap here, my heart °ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ CHAPTER ONE - yoichi isagi.

[DEC 11TH 𝜗𝜚 SANTA BABY] there's only one thing on isagi yoichi's christmas wish list this year; and it's her! for the past year he's been all flustered & red around her, so when she invited him to go gift shopping with her, yoichi knew he had just managed to make the 'nice' list.

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ CHAPTER TWO - keiji akaashi.

[DEC 16TH 𝜗𝜚 WINTER WONDERLAND] keiji doesn't think he's seen her in years, he's overjoyed when they bump into each other at the metro station. walking down the ornate streets together, reminiscing about their high school romance, keiji's heart beats just a bit faster when those feelings spur once again.

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ CHAPTER THREE - sae itoshi.

[DEC 21ST 𝜗𝜚 BABY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE] sae's the biggest grinch she knows, absolutely apathetic towards the holiday season, much unlike herself. so imagine her astonishment when he's almost begging for her to take him to the nearby festival. 'maybe christmas miracles are real' is what she'll decide for herself.

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ CHAPTER FOUR - osamu miya.

[DEC 25TH 𝜗𝜚 LET IT SNOW] it never snows in tokyo during december, so the miya parents are awoken to quite a commotion early in the morning. between jumping children practically assaulting their mattress, osamu can't help but fall more in love with the woman they call their mother.

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ CHAPTER FIVE - tobio kageyama.

[DEC 31TH 𝜗𝜚 LOVE TO KEEP ME WARM] tobio likes christmas, but he prefers the days afterwards when it's just them together. warm mornings cuddled on their couch, sipping on leftover hot chocolate bombs & munching on sweet gingerbread cookies might just be his favourite part of the year.

bye bye for now !

please like , reblog or follow if you enjoyed © heartmaddie all rights reserved. please do not repost my work.

[2:46 am]

osamu was six years old when he met you.

he had been making his way over to atsumu when he had bumped into you, knocking you to the ground and freezing when his eyes met yours. he had expected you to burst into tears, and he was surprised when you had stood up and shoved him to the ground as well. 

he had looked up at you curiously before standing and walking up to you, introducing himself and sharing his gummy worms with you.

after that, the two of you had become inseparable. 

osamu was thirteen when he began to cook for you. 

he had always been a quiet individual, choosing to spend his time cooking and perfecting his recipes instead of interacting with others. being social was more atsumu’s thing, and although he could be quite the social butterfly when he wanted to, osamu preferred to stay in his own quiet corner with you. 

he quickly got into the habit of bringing you a bento box everyday, his own special way of showing you how much he cared about you. he would smile softly whenever he would join you and atsumu at your usual lunch table, handing you the food and watching as you received it enthusiastically, gushing over how good the food was as atsumu teased him for always bringing you food yet always neglecting to bring one for his twin.

seeing atsumu’s pout would always make you laugh and the two of you would share the food, unaware of the way that osamu would look at you fondly. he was just happy that you seemed to enjoy the food that he made with love and care specially for you.

osamu was fifteen when he realized he felt something deeper than friendship for you.

it was when the two of you first got to inarizaki and he and atsumu introduced you to suna rintarou. he was a quiet boy and you did everything you could to make him feel comfortable, eventually managing to bring him out of his shell. the way you’d smile at osamu when you looked at him to help you continue the conversation would make his heart skip a beat. 

that, combined with the way you would whisper in his ear whenever you brought up an inside joke or the way your eyes would sparkle whenever he said one of his deadpan jokes, made him think that one day his heart would give out because of how much it stuttered around you. 

osamu was seventeen when he realized he was in love with you. 

it was after they won the match that secured their spot at nationals that he finally realized just how deep his feelings for you ran. he couldn’t take his eyes off of you as you ran onto the court to congratulate the team, watching you with wonder-filled eyes as atsumu scooped you up in his arms and twirled you around. 

you were laughing loudly, your head tossed back as you wrapped your arms around the sweaty setter. your smile widened when atsumu put you down. your eyes glancing around until they landed on the grey-haired twin and in that moment, he swore you were the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on.

“congratulations, ‘samu,” you whispered, coming to a stop in front of him. he wasted no time in wrapping his arms around you, a rare grin appearing on his face as he held you in his arms. “you better win nationals!”

“for you, i will,” osamu promised, tightening his hold on you just a little bit more.

 osamu was nineteen when he experienced his first heartache. 

“yeah, i think he’s cute,” you commented off-handedly, responding to suna who had asked if you would ever date atsumu. you were picking at your food, too engrossed in your phone to realize what you had just said. 

“so you think osamu is cute too?” suna asked innocently, sending a sly glance to the grey-haired twin. 

“well, yeah,” you snorted, laughing lightly. “they’re twins. if i think that atsumu is cute, then i think that osamu is cute by default.”

the conversation had carried on from there, the topic switching from your love life to suna’s next game. all osamu could think of, however, was how you had basically admitted that you wouldn’t mind dating atsumu. but you had also admitted that he was cute and he spent a lot more time with you than atsumu did, especially now that atsumu had his volleyball career to focus on. 

even if you could see yourself with atsumu, osamu knew that there was something about the way you smiled at him, the way you looked at him, that was special only for him. he still had a chance with you, and he was going to do whatever it took to win your heart in the same way you had won his. 

osamu was twenty-two when he finally found out what heartbreak felt like. 

it was his weekly lunch meeting with you, and there was something about the way you were smiling at your phone that made him realize that there was something you weren’t telling him. 

“what’s on your mind?” he asked, setting down a plate in front of you. it was your favorite dish of his, one that he had been making for you since the two of you were teenagers. 

“it’s nothing,” you replied hastily taking a bite out of the food and avoiding his gaze. he rolled his eyes and slid into the seat across from you, a faint smirk on his face as he stare you down. 

“we’ve never kept secrets from one another,” he teased, stealing a bite of your food. you swatted at him playfully, sitting up straight before lacing your hands together and leaning forwards eagerly. 

“alright, no need to get grumpy,” you replied in an equally teasing tone. “if you must know, i have good news”

“and what is this good news?” osamu hummed, leaning forwards like you did in mock interest. his eyes were wide and his eyebrows were raised and you let out a small giggle at his exaggerated expression. 

“atsumu finally asked me out,” you whispered, your voice filled with excitement. osamu felt his breath leave his lungs at your words and he swore he could feel his heart physically hurting.

he couldn’t help but run through all his memories of the two of you in his mind, remembering the way the two of you would always share your meals and the way that he had always been the first one you had congratulated after a game. he couldn’t help but think about how atsumu always seemed to glow in your presence, and how happy he looked whenever he hugged you and swung you around. 

“oh? finally,” osamu replied, forcing a smile onto his face. “it’s about damn time.”

it took all of osamu’s willpower to keep his smile on his face, pretending to listen to you as you enthusiastically told him all about how atsumu had asked you out. all osamu could think about was the fact that he had waited so long to tell you how he felt, and now he was paying the price for it. 

“…and he had tears in his eyes and he looked so nervous after confessing that i decided it was finally time to tell him i feel the same,” you finished, chuckling lightly. “he was so excited that he took me out on a date right then and there. he had to cut it short because he knew we had our weekly lunch date, but he said that i shouldn’t make any dinner plans for today.”

“you should have told me,” osamu spit out, trying to keep his composure. “we could’ve scheduled lunch for some other time.”

“don’t be silly, ‘samu,” you laughed, reaching out to grab his hand. “you’re still the most important miya in my life.”

osamu sat there with you for the rest of the afternoon, giving you a tight smile and an even tighter hug when you left for your dinner date with his brother. he sighed as he watched the two of you walk away, his heart feeling ten times heavier than it did at the beginning of the day.

heartbreak sucked, he knew that now. but if his heartbreak meant your happiness, than osamu knew that he would relive it over and over again. now matter how much it hurt. 

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You better reblog this

Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.

Of fucking course

What sick bastard doesn’t

Flowers for You | Gojo Satoru x Reader

Summary: You hold in your feelings for him and something else begins to grow.

Content: gn!reaader, Hanahaki Disease (reader has the flowers), descriptions of blood/gore/vomit (i am at my heart, a horror writer, so), pining, angst

a/n: i love hanahaki fics so i really wanted to try one with my beloved gojo!

Gojo Satoru is your friend. You’ve always had an ability to see what he’s thinking before he says it, or before he even realizes it. You’re someone who can tell when he’s at his limit when he needs help even if he pushes it away. You’re special to him, and he’s very special to you.

And you definitely love him. You love him so much, you always want to see him and his smile and feel his energized nature around you. When he’s next to you, you’re so happy and full of butterflies and joy it’s almost sickening. He understands you, and you understand him. You simply love him.

But you know it couldn’t be anything. He can’t let himself close to someone like that again, and while you feel so close to him you know that’s too far away from you. He’s Gojo Satoru, and you are just you. You told yourself it’d be okay, you were happy to have him as a friend. And you are, you still love all the time you spend together. Every smile, joke, and the fond memories you keep dear to you.

But that ache just won’t go away. When you glance at him and see his sharp features and serious face as he’s thinking, or when he laughs with his students, or when he gives your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. It builds inside your chest and before you know it, every day around him starts to hurt.

And as it turns out, that ache inside your chest wasn’t so metaphorical.

It starts with a cough that won’t go away. Worried you were sick, although you noted it just felt like something was stuck in your chest. Gojo chided you that you need to take better care of yourself, and you retorted that so does he!

When you start coughing more heavily and something falls out your mouth, though. Your eyes widen, holding bloodied clumps of flower petals in your hand as you stand over your sink.

Your mind races. This is a curse, it has to be right? It had to be. You try to think back to any encounters that could cause this but nothing is there. You don’t feel anything on or around you besides your own energy, there’s nothing to exorcise. You don’t understand.

+++

Shoko’s the best person to go to, of course. You don’t need to worry anyone else, so you tell everyone it’s just a nasty cough– how funny it is to fight against curses yet be taken down by a little cold? It gets you a few laughs and you try to hold back the coughs of blood and petals.

It didn’t take long for her to figure it out, the moment you sat down and explained your symptoms. She examines you with a bored expression for all but a minute, or barely that, and pulls back. She takes a drag of her cigarette as you wait, anxious.

“I know what this is,” Shoko says, after exhaling a plume of smoke. She tilts her head and studies you with tired eyes. “You cursed yourself.”

“I did? How…?”

“I’ve heard about it. It’s not particularly common but it happens, you’re my first case.” She leans in and studies your face. “Shame, I can’t just open you up and see the sprout inside you.”

“The what?”

“Sprout. Growth. There are flowers growing inside your lungs right now. And it’s going to keep growing and growing.” Your eyes widen, but Shoko remains placid as she takes another drag of her cigarette. “It’s happening because you’re repressing your love for someone. Who is it?”

You sputter at her bluntness, holding your hands up in defense. “Whoa! What do you mean? H-how could I do that to myself? And–”

“It happens to sorcerers. Not really often, it’s recorded mostly in historical texts. You’ve cursed yourself to death because you can’t admit your feelings, huh?” Her lips quirk into a tiny smile as she observes you in your panicked state.

“To death? Why do you sound amused?”

“Because it’s love. Love’s a curse, isn’t it? Anyway, who is it? Just tell them, it should go away if you just confess.” She taps her cigarette and you see the ashes just fall to the floor. “Well, it should. If not, then I’ll remove it.”

You sigh and rub your forehead in frustration. You’re being teased, aren’t you? You wonder if Shoko knows who it is. You always think you’re so painfully obvious of your love for him. The love of him that’s currently killing you, apparently. “Why don’t you remove it now?”

Shoko presses her lips together into a line, humming. “It comes with complications.”

You let out a ragged sigh and can’t help but roll your eyes. “Of course it does, this curse shit is never simple.”

“I can remove it. But this flower is your love for someone, it’s just manifested into something physical inside of you. If I remove it, it’ll remove your love for them. Completely.” That catches your attention and you stiffen at her words. “And… you’ll never be able to love again. Ever. No one else. Forming bonds and such… it will be dead to you. Gone. Forever.”

Your mouth goes dry as you think about this, the reality of it hitting you like cold water. “I… see.” You wring your hands together and stare at the tile. You’re considering it. She had said this would kill you eventually anyway. It’s not like sorcerers live that long in the first place.

“You’re not seriously considering it, are you?” Shoko says, reading your mind. She looks completely done with you. “Just tell them.”

You look up at her and it must be on your face because she relents with a heavy sigh. “Think about it. If it gets any worse then come see me.” You see her frown as she looks at you. “I don’t want to see you dead, you know?”

You swallow thickly. “Yeah.” Glancing back down, you can’t help but find it so funny how your love seems to just cause so many problems.

“I know.”

Maybe it’s best to live without it.

+++

At least you’re good at covering it up. When you feel a fit come on, you excuse yourself. It’s just petals and some blood and you quickly clean it up. Gojo notices that your throat is sounding hoarse and buys you some throat medicine. When he presses it into your hand and smiles at you, tells you to be careful, you end up throwing up for twenty minutes later that night.

It goes from petals to chunks of flowers and roots. You pull a vine out that’s tangled with blood and gore, ripped from your throat.

It’s hard to eat, it’s hard to breathe. And every time you're graced with Gojo's dazzling smile or hear his cheerful voice or receive a silly text message full of emojis and hearts, it gets worse and worse. They all start to notice your deteriorating state but you try your best to reassure them that you’re fine. You shrug them off. Gojo doesn’t believe it, he knows something’s very wrong, he knows you’re lying, but he doesn’t pry. You always liked that about him. You want to avoid him but imagining if he’d be disappointed or hurt makes you want to die.

And you probably are going to die, because Gojo brings you a box of pastries and sweets and it takes all of your being to hold it all in. “I wanted to cheer you up.” He says. “Look at this one, it’s a little bunny!” He points it out to you but you can’t even focus on it, or anything but the deep ache in your chest that crawls into your throat. You watch as his hand falls to his side.

“What’s wrong?” He asks you, his voice serious and quiet as he stands in front of you. He’s so tall and you feel so impossibly small and pathetic in his presence and it hurts more than ever now.

“You’re really worrying me, you know?”

You don’t want to cry and your hands tremble as they hold the box. You suck in a breath and hope he doesn’t notice, but you’re sure he does.

“You can always rely on me.”

Full flowers come out later that night. That’s when you find out they are hydrangeas. Pink. And one is blue, and you know why.

“I’m the strongest.”

You know that. And it’s why you can’t. It’s why you’re sorry.

You take a deep breath, you smile at him. Your voice sounds so torn and ragged but you push through and put on the most convincing face for him. “Yeah, I know. Thank you, Gojo. I’m sorry to worry you.” His lips part just a bit and he looks like he wants to say something but you quickly cut in, and there’s some resignation in your voice. “I’ll go see Shoko.”

“I know she can help me out.”

+++

You made your decision. It’ll be okay, you say. It’ll be okay. It’s for him, anyway, isn’t it? You don’t want to burden him, you don’t want to curse him, you don’t want him to hurt anymore than he already does.

He’s already worried about you. And it’s your fault, it’s your love doing this. If you die, it’d surely hurt him. And it’d hurt Shoko, it’d hurt the students. So you can’t die yet. This was the best option.

If you never love again, too, you’d never hurt like this again. And the people around you won’t have to suffer for it. You send Shoko a message, telling her your decision. She responds with irritated resignation, and that’s good enough for you. You don’t need her to understand.

You want a feeling of peace to take you over, you want this decision to feel right and calm but his face. The moment you think of it, think of losing these feelings and think of how all you want to do is simply kiss him as hard as possible, you want to hold him and cup his cheek, you want to be feel his body against yours, you want— you barely make it to the sink before you’re doubling over, sobbing and hacking up blood, gore, flowers, and roots.

It hurts, it hurts not just in your lungs but your head and heart and it’s the most agonizing thing in the world. You’re almost screaming in pain and broken sobs, the sink, and counter covered in the mess that you can’t stop hacking up. Blood stains your hands and your clothes, your vision is blurry with tears. Your throat feels so raw but it keeps coming and Gojo’s face just won’t leave your mind. Your knees wobble and you’re about to collapse to your knees when you hear him behind you.

He’s calling your name and you’re greeted by the feeling of his strong hands on your shoulder, pulling you up and holding you steady.

No, no, no no– please–

“What– what is this? What’s going on?” He sounds scared and worried, and it’s not a tone you’re used to hearing. He’s not wearing his blindfold and you see those blue eyes flicker over to behind you, the mess of blood and gore that decorates it. His eyes widen and fear twists his features.

“Gojo,” you croak out, and he winces at how ragged and torn your sound. “- I’m okay–”

He bites into his lip and spins you around to look at your face. “No, you’re not.” He stares at your face, your lower face coated in blood and he sees the petals that hang off your lips. “You’re cursed.”

Your breathing quickens, and you feel so hot and dizzy being confronted like this. You don’t want this to happen. You want to run away but you could never outrun Gojo. Especially not when he’s holding you by the shoulders so tightly.

“Who did it? Why are you hiding it– I’ll destroy who did it, I swear-”

“Gojo-” You try again and you can’t make it, you can’t when his hand is on your cheek and he’s trying to rub the blood off. Your lip wobbles at the feeling of his hands so gentle on you. There’s so much emotion on his face, anger, fear, worry, and it tears at you.

You start to hack again, trying to push away from him so you don’t vomit all over him but he won’t let you go, he holds you tighter. He calls out your name, voice shaking, and he’s patting your back in an attempt to help you. He’s all that’s holding you up and you barely register that you’re clinging to his arm, hiding your face against his chest.

“Tell me. Right now. I’ll–”

“It’s me.” You manage to get out, heaving against him. “I did it. I cursed myself.” You pull yourself away from his chest, a shaky breath escaping you when you see blood on his jacket. Why would he let down his infinity for that?

Gojo’s hands are firm on you as he directs you to somewhere to sit down, and he kneels down in front of you. He searches your face, moonlit blue eyes staring you down and you want to escape. “Is this… what I think it is?”

“I, I love someone.” You manage to get out, the words feeling much like the flowers that you pull out of your throat. “And I can’t– I can’t tell them. They won’t-” You’re interrupted by another cough that turns into a small fit, with the way that Gojo lurches forward to you in worry. “How pathetic is that?” You manage with a pained smile, although Gojo looks completely horrified.

“Who is it?”

You want to scream, you want to scream. Every nerve feels like it’s on fire. Your breathing is heavy and fast and your hands twist and pull at your shirt. Don’t ask that, please don’t ask that.

“It doesn’t matter.” You can’t help the way your voice cracks and you’re wiping at the tears that are falling before you know it.

“Of course it does!” His hands go to your knees and he squeezes them. “You just have to confess, right? Is the threat of rejection that scary?” He tries to smile and make it sound light but it falters as he watches you cry in front of him. There’s something twisting in his gut and it’s making his skin crawl but he pushes through it, all that matters right now is the fact you’re in front of him and you’re dying.

He can't stand it. He just can't.

“Anyone, anyone, would be so lucky to have you.” His voice is dry and it’s so unsteady for him, and even he’s surprised by it. “Who could possibly reject you? And if they do, I mean, there’s–”

You shake your head furiously and bite your lip hard. “If I thought that it would ever work if it would be okay for me… to tell them. I would have already.”

He’s irritated now. You see that in his frown.

But he wouldn’t understand, would he? You think. “It’s okay, I’m going to—”

“How is this okay?” His tone is dark and you flinch when he wipes at the corner of your mouth, wiping at the clumps of petals and blood that decorates your face. Your eyes are red, puffy from crying, and you must look just downright disgusting. “Whoever it is, it can’t be worth this–”

“It’s you.”

You watch as he freezes completely, color draining from his face. You watch as his mouth drop open, his eyes widen, and his hand goes completely still. It hurts and you start to sob.

“I-I’m sorry.” You babble out, your body wracked by your sobs and every part of you is shaking. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I, I just–”

He doesn’t say anything, he’s just staring at you with those eyes still. He’s not responding. He’s not responding.

You hurt, but you wonder how much he hurts. And it’s because of you. You wish that the curse had just killed you already–

“It’s.. it’s okay.” You breathe, swallowing and taking a deep breath you look up at him and give him a smile. It’s broken, unsteady, and covered in blood. “I– Shoko can remove it. The curse. I won’t have these feelings for you or anyone else, again.”

“What?” He finally says. “Why would you…” He’s breaking in front of you. You smile at him and you’re just trying to push through it, you can’t see how he’s being pulled apart by your words. You don’t see the way his hands shake or the way he swallows with anxiety. You don’t see how frayed he’s becoming.

“It’s okay.”

It’s okay.

“It’s okay, Gojo, I’ll be–”

“How is that okay?!” He doesn’t raise his voice at you, but it’s sharp and direct and cuts you deep. His breathing is frenzied, he doesn't know what to do. “That’s not–” He cuts himself off by grabbing your face, so roughly, with his hands and pulling you forward to smash his lips against yours.

You freeze but he doesn’t, he tries to pour what he can’t say into you with his lips. He only briefly winces at the taste of gore and spit that’s still in your mouth but it doesn’t stop him, he’s trying your lips apart with his tongue and teeth and kissing you hard. You try to push him away but he refuses, he just falls more into you.

“Gojo– stop–”

He doesn’t, his hands hold you in place and he starts to lean over you until he’s almost on top of you. His teeth nip at your lips and his tongue tastes all of you and when he finally pulls back, his lips are coated in blood and spit and you see petals stuck to the corners of his mouth. He tries to go back but you gasp out “Please, stop–”

Gojo whispers your name, questioning and pleading. Your trembling hand goes to wipe the blood off him. “I don’t… want… please, don’t force it–”

Your hand is snatched by him, and you wince at how tight he holds it. “Why are you making that decision?” You’re caught by how fierce his tone is, and how his eyes start to water. “You… you’re giving up on this without even… asking me? Telling me?”

Words are stuck in your throat as you watch the first stream of tears spill down his face and he presses your hand to his lips. “I told you to rely on me.”

“I can’t ask that of you, Gojo.”

“Satoru.” He says before kissing your hand again. And again. “Please.”

You don’t think you can, you don’t think you should, but you manage to whisper it.

“I’m sorry,” and you have to shut your eyes hearing him apologize to you when this is all your fault– “I’m sorry I didn’t realize it sooner.”

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” you mumble. “I don’t want you to be hurt any more than you have.”

He shakes his head and pulls you close so he can press his forehead to yours. “I love you.” He says brokenly and you tremble against him as you both cry. “Losing you would hurt too.”

“I was going to–”

“Losing your love would hurt more.” His palm caresses your face and he nudges you to look at him and he’s so lovely that it hurts and the pain that paints his face hurts you so, so much. “If you stopped loving me, what would I do? Would you still smile at me like you always do? Would you still care for me? Still nag at me to rest, still follow me around, still laugh with me?”

You don’t have an answer.

“It would destroy me, to lose you like that.” He breathes out and his shoulders sag, you realize how tense his body is. “Your love saves me. Please don’t take it away.”

“Satoru…”

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize it sooner. That I love you too.” He smiles, weak. “I should have been the one to confess to you, I should be telling you under fireworks or something cool–”

You sob out at his confession and he’s pulling you into a hug as you cry. “I love you,” he repeats. “I love you. Please let me love you. I’ll tell you every single day so you’ll never doubt it.”

You sit together like that for a while, until you can’t cry anymore and you’re just shaking in his arms. He keeps repeating it to you. I’m sorry. I love you. I’ll tell you every day. I love you. I love you.

“Satoru,” you call out, your voice is hoarse and dry. You feel warm in his embrace, and he rubs soothing circles on your back with his big hands.

“Yeah?” He returns, his voice low and quiet.

“I… love you too. I love you so much.”

When he kisses you after that, you feel a weight in your chest lighten. And when you breathe, you find it’s the first clear breath you’ve had in months.

He looks at you with such warmth and adoration in his eyes and you love the gentle smile that’s on his lips. You let out a tiny laugh, eyes sore and dry from crying.

“I got blood all over you.”

“‘S okay.” He pulls you up with him as he stands, his hands tightly interlaced with yours. “Just help me get cleaned up. And you too. I’d like to kiss you without the taste of blood.”

You feel giddy when he says that. “I like that shy smile, I’m glad I’ll see more of it now.”

He gets to see it all night as he holds and kisses you, and every day afterward when you see him. He never lets your hand go, and he kept very true to his promise.

He tells you every day.

asking them to match pfps (❁´◡`❁)

characters featured: s. todoroki, k. bakugo, i. midoriya, t. amajiki (in order)

unrequested (you can request more characters to be added ✍)

TW: none <3

none of the images belong to me! the credit goes to the original owners! (≧∀≦)ゞ

Shoto Todoroki ヾ(•ω•`)o

bb is so confused he's just like （*゜ー゜*） but if it makes you happy then sure! <3 and then he realizes he doesn't know what pfps are... you explain to him that you want to do it so people know you guys are together he's just like "but don't people already know we're together" it's just cute ok :( you cropped a picture of you guys together into two and told him to use the one of him as his twitter picture lowkey, it was vv cute<3 you were just like "i claim this cinnamon roll mine!" and he just read the thread with a small smile on his face your satisfaction and happiness is worth more than gold, tell him jumping off a cliff will make you smile and he'll do it he wasn't even ashamed about the pfps or embarrassed lowkey smug as frick abt it ngl all in all will match pfps if his baby is beaming<3

Katsuki Bakugo ψ(｀∇´)ψ

"No." you were just like w-wha?? and looked like a kicked puppy :< after a few minutes, he gave up though<3 heheh no one can refuse you when you look like that when he said yes and you gave him a massive hug he had to hold back the urge to just kiss you right there too adorable for his explosive heart!! so he just sighed waiting for your burst of energy to wear down haha he had to wear a matching bear pfp with you it was cute, yeah but like he's friggin bakugo! and he didn't have the heart to change his pfp or else you'd just be sad so uhm the bakusquad had blackmail of bakugo now the threads of bakugo's tweets were hilarious too if it made you laugh so be it! even at the cost of his own embarrassment it would be the death of him if he couldn't make you happy no one is allowed to make his teddy bear sad! ╰（‵□′）╯

Izuku Midoriya (/▽＼)

tomato mode: activated he was so red :D bb boy "m-match pfps?" he is babie :[ you guys just used some random doodle art on pinterest as matching pfps<3 it was so cute tho ;DD your matching pfps were great he was so blushy tho after a few days he proud af he had his dorky smile the whole time you were matching cute as frick where can i get my own izuku?? oh yeah he won't change his pfp till you tell him to bb<3 does everything for his puppy

Tamaki Amajiki `(*>﹏<*)′

bb boy part 2 he became so shy :(( and you became a teasing monster heheh he matched on one condition<3 giyuu and shinobu matching icons. butterfly bb 🦋🦋 he only likes shinobu because of the butterfly theme tho<3 but that's ok just means he loves you more lowkey he wants you to wear a butterfly haori but that's not the topic rn nejire and mirio were beaming about the pfps the notifications are absolutely filled with their icons but it was pretty funny he was so shy about the pfps at school but on the inside he's happy whenever someone asks about it he would hide behind your back babie. but you were really proud and excited about the pfps sooo.. anything for tamaki's bunny<3

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