Life Hacks

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BAHABABBABA THE WAY MIKE GOES 😨

*Mike and Ness walking through a trail in the forest*

Mike: I wonder what Ness is thinking about, he seems so focused...

Ness: I could probably hide a body here, I wouldn't, but I could

Mike: He's such a sweetheart <3

Ness: But the police would expect that, I need to be more unpredictable, maybe I can-

Mike: "What's going on in the mind of yours?"

Ness: "Hiding bodies"

Mike: 😨

“kill them with kindness” WRONG. TEETH AND CLAWS 🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺

IF YOU LIKE AND DONT REBLOG THIS I WILL BLOCK YOU

me and michael solid as they come

I HAVE A DETECTIVE NESS AU‼️‼️‼️

I'll never write a fic on it but anyone else is welcome to, or just use it to inspire your own ideas

(Warning: I have not watched Escape The Night in ages and I never watched season 4, so whatever happened in season 4 is being disregarded)

So it starts with Escape The Night (not YouTubers AU), when Matt is revived he basically becomes part of Everlock so when they defeat the carnival master or whatever, Matt is forced to stay behind in the 1970's.

For whatever reason reason Manny doesn't die just bc I don't want him to, I had reasons for this but I don't think it really fits with the Escape The Night lore so back to the drawing board.

Matt is left in the 1970's with no house, money, friends, family etc. I'm pretty sure everyone living in Everlock died but whatever, this is an AU so no, they didn't fully die they were just in limbo or some shit idk. Anyways, the point is Matt manages to make some friends and get back on his feet

By the mid 1980's Matt is an actual detective and is living a good life up until some time in the 1990's when people are like "bro, you literally haven't aged a day in the past 30 years"

Oh, yeah forgot the mention, Matt/Ness is immortal in this AU bc spooky revival stuff and he can also like sense ghosts and his orange tinted glasses allow him to properly see ghosts, he doesn't doesn't age and when you kill him the wounds just sorta heal and he gets back up like "Damn, that kinda hurt"

People are suspicious of his unchanged appearance so he fakes his death, changes his legal name and leaves Everlock.

He purposely moves to the town with the closed down Freddy Fazbears bc the case of the missing kids always intrigued him

He chooses not to go down the detective route again and just gets a job at Sparky's diner, he works there for about a year when he meets Mike and falls in love, at this point he was already aware that he wasn't straight (I headcanon him as pan) but he's never been romantically interested in a man, he's just seem some attractive men in his life time, so he was like "HOLY SHIT, I NEED TO DATE THAT GUY"

At this point he's going through a "Hell yeah, I'm fucking immortal" phase, he gives no fucks, has a "respect is a two way street" attitude and is absolutely serving cunt. He's practically a different person to who he was when he first went to Everlock. He has his ears pierced, he paints his nails and he sometimes experiments with make-up but it's not really his thing

So now we focus on Joey who has gotten Manny and Nikita (and I guess any other survivors? Completely honest, I never finished season 1 and I never even started season 2) together and have taken them to the abandoned Freddy Fazbears and is like "I think we can revive everyone here" and then time travel stuff happens and they end up in the year 2000 with no limits or instructions of where to go or what to do

The go to a random diner to talk it out and Ness shows up like "Hey, welcome to- ah shit, not you assholes" Manny and Nikita start up normal conversations like "omg I love your nails and your earrings" and then Joey's like "Help us revive people." And Ness is like "No?". Quick side note- Joey continues to call him Matt through the conversation and Manny and Nikita are like "Don't deadname him, damn"

Thats mostly what I have so far, theres a scene I have in my head where he gets springlocked and Mike and Vanessa get him out of the suit in a panic and Vanessa's like "He's dead, theres nothing we can do" and then Ness sits up and is like "Owwwww, fuck"

Also, Manny, Nikita and Joey are very shocked by Ness's cunty personality and but they're like "Yas queen, you ate that up"

They're less shocked about his boyfriend, they're kinda like "Well, he was a theatre kid"

reblog this if you're okay with booping spams please !!