How Is It That I Am Distracted By Everything Yet Paying Attention To Nothing

hes mad as hell

i can’t believe only 3% of people voted first dude this country is truly in shambles

accurate

do you ever rip a bit of skin from your lip but it turns out to be a really big bit and you’re like shouldn’t have done that… shouldn’t have done that

Fans: (make memes about Mario being even slightly diabolical or sinister)

Nintendo: NO! He is a good boy!

i went in to a cells at work thread on 4chan’s /a/ because i can’t help but immerse myself in sludge and the whole thread was anons talking about how they’ve been eating better and drinking more water because they want the anime girls that live inside of them to be happier 

shinzo abe you son of a bitch, you did it. 

we opened at 11 this morning. i watched an old man literally pry the fucking sliding doors open at 10:43 and stand there just staring into the empty store and my coworker & i were like sir. for the love of fuck

Now, that’s my kind of love story.

tip for the holidays: interrupt any family argument with “I will take it! I will take the ring to Mordor. Though I do not know the way”

i am well aware that the really aggressive and wildly pseudoscientific vegans are a noisy minority but like it still always really gets me when vegans try to claim that humans are herbivores like.. look at me with your forward facing eyes and speak to me with your mouth of diversified teeth for both tearing and chewing and try to convince me