The Full Spectrum Of Human Reaction To Mitski

my name is pete

and i like feet

everytime i see them

i beat my meat

look what you made me do to em

(photo via helloheyi)

HOW TO PICK UP GIRLS IN 3 EASY STEPS

STEP 1: purposefully bump into girl(make sure you are typing into your calculator while doing this)

STEP 2: say “im sorry. i didnt see you, i was taking inventory of all my lizards”

STEP 3: make sure she sees the number 42069666 on the screen

That awkward moment when Hugh Jackman remembers he taught you at school [x]

hope u get run over

Hoping is all well and good, but ultimately, it gets you nowhere. Be the change you wish to see in the world. Get in your car and run me the fuck down instead of waiting for others to do your work for you, you coward. You lazy fool.

How old were you when you lost your virginity???

It was the winter of 1932 on the wintery tundra of Saskatchewan. I had put my virginity down for only a second, but when I turned to retrieve it, it was gone. It’s been 82 years, and not a day goes by when I don’t wonder where my virginity ran off to, and how much differently my life would be if I had never lost it. Godspeed to you, virginity. Godspeed.