I Don't Have A Good Ship To Ask About But I Do Like Your Takes So Here's A Related Question, Or Two If

This is a first draft so the dialogue is a bit rough, lol.

Thank you to @kittycatboyhalo for creating basically the entirety of this storyline! Bad is currently feminine presenting, and just got accused as a witch. He escaped, was chased, and stumbled upon Etoiles’s forest home. Etoiles has helped rescue ladies like Bad from witch trials in the past.

Heilige also means Saint in German, so I thought it would be funny to call the Saint of Games himself Madame Heilige. Probably not accurate historically or otherwise, but let’s just roll with it.

Now, I just woke up, it's 3 am and I saw a post talking about q!Cellbit eating chunks out of bad and then I remembered about Bad's body regeneration, so I want you guys to imagine;

Bad and Cellbit are out in the field again. There was one last group that they'd need to kill but the group had gone into hiding. Bad and Cellbit's food supply becoming scarce as time passed by, they had ended up resorting to the bodies that have been left bleeding out. But that was quickly becoming futile as the 'food' that they had been finding was starting to rot with flies all over. Bad didn't need to eat. But Cellbit does. Worried for his friend's well being he set off into the night with nothing but an axe, returning bloodied with a missing limb. Cellbit asked and asked but Bad refused to answer, claiming that "everything was fine" and that he "had just found it in the woods" but he knew the young teen was smarter than that.

Waiting for someone to make a “My Mom” by Kimya Dawson edit

anyone else feel like we’re going thru a fanfiction drought??

I check the bbh tag on ao3 with a fever and the amount literally went DOWN today 🤒

I am not blaming anyone, I’ve been too busy to write myself, BUT GIRL IM THIRSTY 😭😭😭

LU Dawn Lore

I don’t think this is headcanoning anymore, I’m just kind of making up my own lore for Dawn at this point. I hope somebody enjoys this!

When I think of Dawn and Zelda 1 and 2 the aesthetic I imagine is like 80s dark fantasy. I really kind of think of Dawn as this She-Ra princess warrior or Mad Max baddie, though I think she might wear more armor or pants if she were to fight somebody.

Moving on- Dawn’s father, the current king of Hyrule, is a no good, dirty rotten, pathetic man. The only reason the royal family has even persisted this long is due to their resources, wealth, and control at this point. They have just enough of Hylia’s blood still running through their veins to have enough power to make sure Ganon doesn’t full snuff them out but it is obvious that Ganon rules this land. Dawn’s father is greatly concerned with his own comfort and a sickening greed. 

The royal family owns a vast library that ensures that stay educated enough to maintain control over the few surviving towns in Hyrule. The king enacts harsh taxes over these towns in return for education, access to medicine, and protection. The king has never married and has dozens of bastards across Hyrule. One day he sends out a call for all of his children to convene at the castle. 

For Dawn this is easy, her mother is a part of the royal council and she ensured that Dawn grow up in Castle Town. Her father had decided to declare an heir and he decides to do so through a “series of tests” to decide who is most worthy. These tests are mostly just throwing his various children into a Thunderdome type arena and having them fight. This is to his great amusement. 

Dawn is HORRIFIED. This is sick. Everyday she fights somebody of her own blood watching as her father laughs and laughs, choking on mead and fruit that rarely grows in these lands. She almost refuses to go, but every night she dreams of a beautiful woman crying tears like stars begging her to try. Begging her to save these lands. Every night this woman whispers wisdom to her and every day Dawn survives another day. 

She does her best to spare her siblings where she can. It’s not fair to fight the ones too small to lift a sword or those so thin they sway in the breeze. Many of them use this mercy to leave, go back to their real families. But not all of them. Some have the same greed and madness their father has. The blood of Hylia runs through all of them but it’s partial to Dawn. After a week of this, she emerges victorious and is dubbed as the princess of Hyrule. 

Despite being the princess of Hyrule now, Dawn knows that her father doesn’t actually plan on giving her any power whatsoever. This whole heir of Hyrule thing is just to appease some members of the court who are worried about the family line or appearances. She has a sick feeling her father agreed to this just for his amusement. 

She takes to eavesdropping and spying to gain as much intelligence as possible. She soon learns that her father is planning to make a deal with Ganon. The known locations of the triforce fragments for safety and riches. Next council meeting she attends, Dawn gets up, walks across the table to her father and beheads him before he can even question what he’s doing. She pulls his crown from his head and declares herself the Queen of Hyrule. For the first time in 700 years, Zelda once again ascends the throne. 

She immediately regrets her quick decision and bloody judgement. Her council now listens to her but it’s obvious that they fear her and do not trust her. She is young, only 17. She’s sick and tired of killing by the time her own mother confronts her. There Dawn learns that her mother was more closely working with her father than she had thought. Dawn’s mother had been forming a small cult in worship of Ganon to prepare for his imminent takeover. Dawn’s mother pleads with her to understand her father’s point of view. Dawn thinks that she should probably cut down her mother where she stands but she cannot bring herself to do it, so she banishes her instead. This is the first time Dawn regrets NOT killing somebody. Her mother would only gain strength and followers in the wasteland. Years later her mother’s cult would become an ugly scar on her little brother’s life. 

On a small mission to try and form an alliance with a nearby great mother that leads a well hidden fairy fountain, Dawn is captured by Ganon. For months she is terrified and weak, subjected to listening to the snorts and grumbles of an ugly pig who is going to destroy her beloved home. She is greatly unhopeful to be rescued knowing her council has a poorly hidden disliking of her.

The pigs greedy and prideful rambling starts to bleed frustration. Somebody is finding the triforce fragments before he can. Dawn tries not to get her hopes up, but she can’t help herself. To her surprise, a savior comes. Hyrule, in all his 11 year old glory, fights the beast and frees her. Together they render Ganon into nothing but ashes. Another regret of hers for leaving something of him behind.

Of course she takes the boy home, he has many an injury and she has never had so much gratitude for somebody. Dawn decides that she cannot trust her council, especially after she discovers they were the reason she was captured in the first place. She gives them a choice: banishment or execution. Some of them wisely banish theirselves, but some try to fight for Dawn’s seat on the throne. She’s more than ready to fight, but to her shock and horror, her little hero is as well. Together they slay the rest of her court. 

She struggles to build a new one, miserable after the little hero is chased out of the castle due to a curse living in his blood. She’s more than pleased when he returns with a small entourage of kind people he’s met over his journey. Impa, a kindly old woman Dawn remembers well from her childhood. A village healer, a kindly knight devoted to the goddesses. A moblin that her hero fervently insists is friendly. 

It’s a small start but it’s more than Dawn had ever had before. She’s happy for the first time in forever and the sky over Hyrule looks blue.

Idk what gets me so much, maybe the fact that until adulthood I’ve lived in warm weather climates, but fics about huddling for warmth and hypothermia scares and fluffy ones too where they just stay indoors in front of a fire are so appealing to me

I headcanon, or not even more like just maladaptive daydream/think would be cute, for Team Soulfire is that they have a nice little cabin headquarter or warm little base that they stay in when they’re too exhausted to grind for materials or fight other people anymore. Or when the timer runs out and there’s no point left in doing missions.

I like to think that they all have matching fluffy coats and have to share a bed, not in a sexual trope way but in a sleepover way. They came from a cold spawn. They make soup together and cuddle for warmth.

I LOVE the concept of Bbh being some sort of older brother/guidance to young Cellbit in the war

With Cellbit’s cannibal class I can imagine that translating as really hard times, resulting in people having to eat their dead. Maybe it’s winter time and they can’t grow anything and anything that they could hunt is hibernating so they have to turn to that. It confuses bbh at first, he just assumes that maybe humans just eat other humans now, until he realizes the horrors in which why they have to do that and it dawns on him how awful this is so he takes Cellbit under his wing

at first bbh tries not to get too attached, their ranks are dropping like flies, but he just can’t help it. Cellbit also might be the youngest there, so bad feels an extra responsibility to keep him safe

why either of the are fighting in the first place, I’m not sure but I imagine that maybe Bad was traveling when war struck and he got stuck in the middle of it, wings or magic too damaged to be able to get himself out so he has to fight out. Or maybe he just thinks it’s for a good cause? Cellbit on the other hand, maybe he’s just collateral, his hometown destroyed so he has no choice.

In the end, bbh and cellbit are seemingly the only survivors, maybe because Bad’s abilities finally come back, just in time for him to protect himself and his new friend. Somehow they get separated, maybe in the chaos or at a navy port, but they lose touch until they reunite in the qsmp.

Cellbit grows up kind of assuming that he’s crazy, there’s no way that he had a benevolent demon battle buddy as a teenager. He goes on to think that maybe he was starving or just coping, making imaginary friends to feel safe and cared for. But then they meet again and he realizes that it all happened and it’s just so relieving and happy because that’s his friend and also, he wasn’t aggressively hallucinating for the mass of the war.

I really hope that more people are just as into this as I am 😭 I really hope I see fanfics about this, I like writing but it’s so hard

okay I apologize to any Christians, I hope this isn’t offensive but I can’t stop thinking about it 😭

so you know how Christianity is semi-canon in the downfall timeline? Yeah- how would that work???

Christianity exists on Earth because of a long and complicated collision of history and pagan stories and then the death and resurrection of Jesus, a Jewish middle eastern man who was trying to defend his people against Roman oppressors. i know reasonably that Nintendo might’ve not expected that the Zelda series would take off so much so they probably put in some Christian iconology bc the Catholic aesthetic is kind of popular in Japan. It shows up a lot in anime too.

but now there’s a canon religion the series follows with a couple of goddess 😭

my only reasoning is that the Hyrule Christians believe that God is all powerful and that maybe Hylia, Din, Farore, Nayru are either angels or saints? More Catholic I guess

and maybe the hero of Time would be a Jesus figure?? His birth COULD be immaculate, we don’t know his parents. maybe Christianity comes from Calatia? Hylia I think only focuses on Hyrule??

in the Linked Universe I don’t personally head canon Hyrule or Legend to be catholic BUT. I think it would be really funny if they were

Legend calling Hylia a false prophet 😭

Hyrule holding up his cross like: “I prayed to God and now I can see moas”

If Time is downfall Jesus I think they would both probably have a spiritual crisis depending on how devout they both are 😭

also Legend just REALLY gives me Catholic guilt vibes.

When I was a kid my grandmother would have me recite the “Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep” prayer which terrified me as a kid 😮‍💨 I feel like Hyrule would recite it every night and it would kind of just unsettle the chain.

PLEASE. Please tell me if anybody has thought the same or has thoughts on how it would work. This has been plaguing my mind

I’m sorry Christians

it’s so funny that Tubbo and bbh are out and about, bleeding, fighting

and then Tina is back at the base trying to therapize missa who’s already losing his nerve

“apple boy”

all equally important work

are you frequently overstimulated?