Dysphoria.

Dysphoria.

It's a hard thing to describe. You can't really explain it to people who don't experience gender dysphoria. And everyone is experiencing dysphoria in a different way. Some people can put in words how they feel, but I'm not sure if I can. Dysphoria is the worst kind of pain I've known. There are some days I don't feel so dysphoric about myself but the most time my dysphoria is really bad. Sometimes I break down because I can't handle the dysphoria attacks. It makes me want to rip my skin off. It makes me stay in bed all day because I just don't have enough energy to get up. It makes me feel like shit and that I never want to talk again because I can't handle my voice. It's the reason why I sometimes can't talk in class because I feel too dysphoric about my voice. It's the reason I sometimes can't wear what I want because I'm scared not to pass so I rather wear a baggy hoodie. On some days it makes me want to kill myself because it doesn't seem worth it. And there are people out there who think it's fun to be Transgender. They think it's all pride parades and adorable. But it's not. Being Trans is the reason why I can't do the things I wanted to do in the future. Being Trans is a pain in the ass and I have to struggle every day. Every day is a fight. And I don't need people to understand how I feel. I just need them to stop making fun of Trans people. Because it's already hard enough to be Trans. And I know I'm not the only one who has to struggle with all of this but sometimes I feel like I'm alone.