Store Worker : Would A “Dick” Please Come To The Front Desk?

Store Worker : Would a “Dick” please come to the front desk?

Dick, arriving at the desk : Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker, pointing to Jason and Damian : I believe they belong to you?

Jason and Damian, simultaneously: We got lost.

Dick : I didn’t even bring you guys here with me—

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lukas-dusk

11 months ago

Charlie : *running towards Dean with open arms*

Dean : *moves out of the way*

Charlie : Hey, why'd you move?!

Dean : I thought you were going to attack me?

Charlie : I was going to hug you??

Dean : Why would you hug me?

Charlie : WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

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lukas-dusk

1 year ago

5) I forgot my glasses and I'm trying to figure out if you're a human.

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lukas-dusk

1 year ago

Jack : How do Sam and Dean usually get out of these messes?

Castiel : They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.

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lukas-dusk

6 months ago

Robin : You ever get so tired you start seeing spiders?

Steve : Me after being awake for 3 days and start seeing the hat man.

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Steve : Oh this is suddenly not a safe space.

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lukas-dusk

1 year ago

Lisa : Do you love Barry?

Snart : Yeah, I do.

Lisa : Mick! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks!

Mick : We all love Barry. You should've asked if he were IN love with him.

Snart : I thought that was implied.

Mick : ...

Lisa : ...

Snart, looking straight at Mick : Congrats Liz, you just won 100 bucks.

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lukas-dusk

1 year ago

Sometimes I read posts on Tumblr from 10 years ago, and I regret not having signed up before, but then I remember that I was 6 years old ten years ago :^

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lukas-dusk

1 year ago

Caitlin : Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy. But if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.

Barry : I- what?

Snart : My favorite is explaining the difference between a butt dial and a booty call.

Lisa : It’s called connotations.

Cisco : Try this one on for size, “Forgive me, Father, I have sinned” vs “Sorry, Daddy, I’ve been naughty."

Mick : Great news! Language is now banned!

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lukas-dusk

1 year ago

Iris : How was the honeymoon?

Barry : Len got drunk and set our marriage certificate on fire.

Barry : He said, "Good luck trying to return me without the receipt"

Iris : ...

Barry being a simp : I love him so much...

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lukas-dusk

1 year ago

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lukas-dusk

1 year ago

Tony : I have a plan!

Rhodey : Good! As long as we aren’t breaking the law again, I’m open to hearing it.

Tony : …

Rhodey : …

Tony : I no longer have a plan.

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