Lyamnothing - Oh Man

I hate when I crave and want and desire like girl if you don’t shut the fuck up and stare at the wall

“I can fix him” okay but I can fix the narrative. I can recontextualize events and bring out depths of character. I can shift priorities and strengthen relationships and show that anyone can change with enough kindness and support, and that what you admired in him has been inside yourself this whole time.

Oh, cool. Cool cool cool.

So... we're heading for an era of extreme reactionary backlash.

The question is it going to be like 1980's style or 1930's style.

We shit on rainbow capitalism (as we should), but it is a good indicator of social acceptance of LGBTQ people. When brands are loud and proud about how much the support gay people('s money), it means the social conditions have moved in our favor and the potential backlash is weak.

Right now, the power is shifting back to the fascists. That's bad.

So the CONTEXT is that Xbox is releasing Diablo IV and they changed their logo to match that, BUT I'm CACKLING over the idea that Xbox decided 4 days of pride was enough and that the gays should burn in hell now

Miss Ambrose 1992 (Magnolia Sinclair)

Magnolia talks to the first runner up after the pageant.

I listened to Linger by The Cranberries all day today and this is the result.

Warning: Angst, no comfort

Tagging: @rottent33th, @slaasherslut, @the-pinstriped-hood, @devil-doll13, @bugginbeetlew, @manbehindthemask

Staring at the curtain ahead of her, Magnolia's deep and slow breathes quicken in pace. "Hey," her friend, Joan, whispers. A cold hand interlockes with Maggie's clammy one and gives it a soft squeeze. Trailing the olive toned hand up to its owner, blue eyes meet soft brown ones. "You'll be fine- whatever happens, you still proved that you're prettier than half the town." She jokes. "Thanks..." Maggie mumbles, quickly touching her heated face. Chuckling, the brunette leaned down and pecked her cheek. "Good luck Maggie." She whispers, though it fell on deaf ears as the blonde's body went rigid.

"Joan Price just kissed my cheek."

Joan Price. The pretty girl that sits next to her in homeroom. Her partner in biology who laughs when Maggie gets too excited to answer a question. The same Judy Price who slept over the one time Trudy was out of town. The girl that looked so cute in Maggie's pajamas and shared a bed with her. The best friend that she's always thought was prettier than any boy she's ever seen just kissed her cheek.

Just a few more inches over and it could've been a dream come true.

Magnolia didn't hear her name be announced until the bright flash of a camera stunned her out of her thoughts. "Oh my god..." She whispered. The crowd stood in applause as a "MISS AMBROSE 1992" sash was placed over her delicate baby blue dress and a bouquet of roses was placed in her arms. The blonde flushes a bright pink as her second runner up pulled her into a hug, leaving the shorter girl's thoughts run wild.

"Does she like me?" "Do I like her? Is that even possible?" "Mama told me that a man would make me happy one day but she makes me happier than any man could..."

Soon enough, Joan took Magnolia's hand once more and walked off stage with her. "C'mon, Miss Ambrose," her new title danced off her friends words teasingly, "You gotta show off your new crown to everyone!" "Uh, actually, Joan..can I talk to you real quick?" Maggie spoke up, squeezing her hand for reassurance. "Of course." Her focus went straight to Joan's lips. The same soft, glossy lips that made her feel everything all at once with just one kiss on the cheek. "I don't know how to say this...but you make me feel so many things." Maggie breathed out. "When you kissed my cheek, everything just flooded and I didn't even know what happened because I was just thinking about you and your lips and-" her words were cut off by Joan's hands leaving hers.

"Listen," Joan went silent. Her lighthearted tone dimmed, her eyes darted to anywhere that wasn't Maggie's direction. "I'm not..I'm not into you- girls, like that." She confessed. "I think I'm gonna go, my family is waiting outside.." she quickly excused herself and left her by the wing of the stage.

Magnolia took in deep breaths and sat on the steps of the stage, knees to her chest as she reeled in the conversation. Touching her cheek, she felt the residue of Joan's strawberry scented lip gloss. Black streaks of mascara quietly ran down her cheeks upon contact. Faint calls of her name could be heard, but the new beauty queen of Ambrose chose to deck her head in her lap and remain silent.

more black phone posting. finney has to be one of the most badass final guys/girls in all of horror movies. most of them will just shoot or stab the killer and call it a day, but finney? no, not him. he beats THE ABSOLUTE SHIT out of the grabber before strangling him with the phone cord. keep in mind the grabber is a well built grown ass man and finney is a tiny middle school aged kid (I’d say 12 or 13). I was trying so hard not to aggressively cheer him on during that scene in the theatre

transmasc vincent sinclair (!!)

i love him sm, i will be drawing more transmasc!vinnie when i have the means to c:

Security Blanket

This doesn't even almost do it justice, but this post by @skylarsblue and this piece by @minilev made me feel some type of way so I tried to spin up the scene in my head real fast.

900 words. Emotional hurt/comfort. Description of night terrors and panic attacks and thoughts of self-harm.

He wakes up in the kitchen this time.  Standing barefoot in the middle of the floor, soaked to the bone with sweat, chest heaving like he just outran the devil. 

His brain knows where he is but his body doesn’t and the dark room is spinning around him and he staggers to the sink like he’s drunk and about to throw up, and he might throw up, but he’s stone cold sober. 

He slumps against the edge of the countertop and waits for it to pass.  For it all to pass.  For his skin to stop crawling, the stinging in his eyes to go away.  For the echo of her screeching to fade back into memory. 

He listens intently to the silence of the house as the ringing in his ears diminishes.  If he was screaming, he’ll hear Vincent scrabbling up the stairs to make sure he hasn’t found a knife or something.  Something his subconscious knows how to use.  Minutes pass, or maybe seconds.  Vincent doesn’t appear. 

The tension won’t leave his body for hours, but he wishes it would.  He can’t unclench his jaw and his shoulders are hunched like he’s waiting for a blow.  The veins in his arms are bulging beneath the skin, knuckles white. 

His wrists fucking itch. 

When at last his mind clears enough to let him peel his fingers off the edge of the sink, lets him dig his nails into his skin instead, he turns to face the house.  He tries inhaling through his nose and exhaling through his mouth even though that has never worked.  He tries reciting things he’s sure of in his head, but every time he gets to his name he hears it in her voice.  He starts to spiral. 

It’s a funny thing, to know your fear is unfounded and be trapped in the throes of it anyway.  He can’t catch his breath.  He’s lightheaded.  He feels watched.  One time he swears he saw her, standing just around the corner, peering at him with beady eyes like pinpricks in the darkness.  The memory triggers a visceral reaction and he doubles over like he’s been kicked; he can’t do that again, he can’t, it'll end him; he is sinking to the floor and burying his face in his arms. 

His wrists fucking itch. 

He’s panting, mind racing, muscles howling.  He’s scratching and he can’t stop.  If he looks up, she’ll be there, he knows it, he can sense it.  He can feel her staring at him.  He’s three years old, he’s five years old, he’s twelve, he’s seventeen, and he’s scared, and she’s so angry.  She’s everywhere, fucking everywhere, can’t stay dead, can’t stay away, and there’s just one thing she hates more than she hates him and he remembers and it takes everything he has to lick his dry lips and muster up a quavering whistle.  It barely carries in the choke of the darkness.

Moments later the sound of a thump on the stairs and nails skittering on wood pulls a strangled sob from the constriction of his throat.  There’s a cheerful jingle jingle and then the snuff of a damp nose on his forearm, and then a very warm, very wet tongue is lapping at the marks in his skin. 

His mother loathed dogs.  As a kid, a puppy was all he wanted.  As an adult, he couldn’t make sense of why you’d want another mouth to feed.  An endless supply of messes to clean up.  But he never could say no to Lester. 

And now on the floor in the dark, he grabs that mongrel like she’s the last living thing on earth besides him and pulls her to his chest, and she lets him because she’s a good dog.  She laps awkwardly at his face before she settles and sighs and he almost starts crying.  She allows him to squeeze her for many long minutes, her baleful eyes sweeping over the benign expanse of the kitchen, keeping watch for ghosts while he struggles to catch his breath. 

They sit on the floor for the better part of an hour. 

He lets go of her slowly when the paralysis starts to fade, and she stands up and shakes herself before turning back and nudging his hand so he knows she hasn’t left him.  It takes him a long time to stand up, and she watches him closely.  When he finally shuffles out of the kitchen, she is on his heels, waiting for her moment. 

The stairs are insurmountable.  He collapses on the couch.  The poor, mutilated thing barely has any stuffing left and he sinks into the familiar hole worn into the cushions, exhausted body and soul.  He lifts his hand to pat his lap and she’s already up, already stepping gingerly across his legs, shooting him apologetic glances as she turns around twice out of obligation and then sprawls across his middle. 

He exhales with finality.  His muscles are twitching with exertion.  The weight of her on his ribs grounds him in his body in this time, this place.  He is not three, or five, or twelve, or seventeen.  His mother is dead.  He has a dog. 

She’s warm under his hand, her fur coarse and dusty.  She stinks like roadkill and the reek of her breath clings to his hands and arms.  She huffs and lays her head on her paws and he gives her silky ear a flop.  His breathing is level.  He unclenches his jaw. 

“Good girl,” he mumbles as his eyes slip closed.  He doesn’t think he’ll be able to fall back asleep, but he does, quickly, and his dreams are painless. 

The dog sleeps too.  

Pov you meet Bo at the funeral but he's drunk off his face and raving about his mother