5 Min Later...

Dont blink, be weird

👁️ 👁️ 👁️

Antinous: 🎶Only the ocean and I will know~🎶

Poseidon: THE OCEAN!? *Wheezing Ichor Filled Coughs* HELL NO! LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS!

Apollo: Please Uncle, you'll tear your stitches.

One Song Later

Ares: Athena, Imma be honest, I think I'm in love with him. I need him physically, emotionally, carnally. I need him in a way I've never needed a mortal before—

"you should've led with that."

Athena: Odysseus is just a really good guy. He's so smart and brave and funny and--

Ares (sighing loudly): I get it!

Athena: If you got to know him, you'd like him too.

Ares: You've been talking about him for FIVE HOURS! At this point, I do know him!

Athena (crossing her arms): You'll see what I mean one day.

(After "one day")

Ares (beside Athena's infirmary bed): Oh my gosh, Athena! You should have been there! He started stabbing Poseidon like (acts it out) and Poseidon was all like "Stop! Ah!" and Odysseus was all like "You never stopped!"

Athena (smirking): Told you that you'd like him.

Ares (gently smooshing her with a pillow): You didn't say he was violent. You should've led with that.

Pov real love <3

Odysseus: Penelope I am not the same person you fell in love with, I have done terrible things to get home. I understand if you can’t accept the monstrous things I have done-

Penelope: cool, could you please move this wedding bed

Odysseus: what, no!

Penelope: that’s my husband

Odysseus: Penelope I have killed so many

Penelope: I don’t give a shit

Odysseus: I sacrificed my crew-

Penelope: And I would’ve done the same

Odysseus: I am covered in the blood of the suitors

Penelope: and you look fantastic

Odysseus: I TORTURED A GOD ON HIS OWN WEAPON

Penelope: and that was incredibly sexy of you

The kitten hasn't seen anything cute for a long time

Odysseus is best dad

Okay this is kinda a stupid thought I had once I got over the craziness of Odysseus.

All the like middle aged men are dead cuz of the war except for the weak and cowardly

And now Odysseus has killed all the suitors which was basically all the younger men of Ithaca. Plus some faraway princes and such

So in doing that he basically made Telemachus the most eligible bachelor in all of Ithaca and the neighboring kingdom.

His first day as a dad and he’s already wingmaning his son