August 9 - Cemetery | @jartylusmicrofics | Wc: 1519 Character Death

@futurecorps3 STOP THIS IS LITERALLY SO AMAZING!! I LOVE THE WAY YOU WRITE SO MUCH 🫢🫢

Hey, amazing work on “Veil” 🌌

I was hoping to request a Remus Lupin x fem!reader. Where the reader is a pure blood Slytherin and it’s almost the end of their 6th year and her Parents are planing to get her engaged.

Could this be inspired by Taylor Swift’s “Run”

Thanks. I hope you have an awesome day/night

𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲

Masterlist<3

Summary: Again, the request sums it up Pairing: Remus Lupin x slytherin!pureblood!fem!reader Warnings: so much angst I'm actually so sorry about this one!! Happy ending though<3 added Jegulus because they're my babies, arranged marriage, Moony stops eating cause he's sad, smoking, Remus gets thin, yeah i think that’s it!! Word Count: 4.6K! Requested: Yes

A/N: UGHHHH THIS IS SO MFING GOOD! Thanks for trusting me with this request lovie<3 hope you like it. Also, I've never quite understood how Harry would exist alongside Jegulus but let's not mind that, and with "The Potters" I mean Reggie and James because he took his last name. <3

He was used to it by now; Seeing Lucius approach her during lunch trying to hold her hand, him getting teachers to pair them up in team projects, and even when he interrupted Remus mid-sentence when they were talking to invite her to a date she'd rejected. Moony wishes he could say he doesn't care, but he does.

Not because he thought his girlfriend of three years liked Malfoy, of course not. He cared because he couldn't bear the thought of losing Y/N to all this pure-blood nonsense, a decision she couldn't interfere with and neither could he, since it was one as big as the wedding her parents were currently planning. The couple found out one day when a letter was delivered to Y/N's dorm.

After movie night with the marauders, Regulus, Evan and Lily, the girl had gone to rest alongside Sirius' brother. Their laughs and jokes made on the way to the Slytherin chambers were soon forgotten when she stepped on a piece of paper laying in front of her door.

"Night Y/N/N" mumbled the Black brother, but she didn't answer, making him turn his gaze upon her. She immediately recognized her parent's handwriting and picked it up from the floor swiftly, opening it with shaky hands. Regulus saw her tense up and drop the letter, going pale immediately.

"Y/N?" he asked as he walked next to her. That's when he noticed the tears in her eyes. Before he could ask one more time, she was running out of the dorms in a sobbing mess. He picked up the piece of paper before following, unable to catch up but never giving up on his friend.

To Regulus, he was forever in debt to Y/N. Thanks to her, he had made amends with his brother and because of that, found the love of his life. James' love was a constant reminder of why not only forgiveness but also love are important to keep. He couldn't leave her alone. Eventually, after a while of running, she reached a cliff and stopped, knees buckling as she cried harder into her hands. The strong wind made her shiver like a leaf, but that could've also been the void in her stomach.

Regulus grabbed the piece of paper and read what got her that fragile:

"Dear Y/N; We wish to discuss a matter of great importance, one that may initially come as a surprise. After much consideration, we have decided to arrange an engagement between you and Lucius Malfoy. This decision is rooted in our family's tradition and the responsibilities that come with our lineage. We understand your emotions and aspirations, but we believe this alliance is in the best interest of our family's future. We ask you to approach this situation with an open mind and maturity, as it carries significant implications for our family's legacy. We will be here to provide guidance and support as you navigate this path. With love, mom and dad."

He held her, shedding a few tears as if he too could feel the pain his friend had to overcome. Then they walked to the Gryffindor dorms, waking up Remus. They cried some more.

Ever since then, Lucius Malfoy had tried his very hardest to at least get along with Y/N. He didn't really mind the engagement since before his parents told him all about it; he was convinced he'd die a virgin and alone. These intentions, accompanied by the evident pride he took in stealing someone else's girlfriend, drove Remus insane.

Godric knows how many times he'd cry on either Y/N or his best friend's arms about it. It's not because they won't be together, no; It's her sorrow that kills him slowly. Since the letter arrived, her aura had shifted, and rightfully so. The smile her boyfriend adored was now a rare occurrence, the same goes for her jokes.

There was this incessant pain in Remus' heart telling him to enjoy as much as he could for as long as they could be together, that this would all fade and they would be another kind of victims falling to the upcoming war. At times like these, there was no place for good natured love and pure intentions; faith was the only thing left.

Faith in their dreams, now obscured by the dreadful reality of their situation, faith in fairness which proved to be nonexistent with each passing day; faith in things that were long gone. As for her, helplessness was the right word to describe the void inside. She didn't believe in all the pureblood bullshit, and her parents knew. Sometimes she wondered if this was all a big ruse to push their beliefs on their daughter.

Leaving Remus was never a choice, never in her mind.

She gazes at him with a heart full of emotions that seem to swirl like a gentle breeze through the leaves of a forest. His presence ignites a flicker of warmth deep within her chest, a feeling that dances like a hidden flame waiting to be discovered. Whenever they're together, her heart finds its rhythm, like a melody guided by his very presence. It's as though he holds the key to a lock she never knew existed, unlocking a realm of sensations she's only dreamed of.

With him, she feels seen, truly seen – her hopes, dreams, and fears laid out in the open, yet met with a gentle understanding that erases any sense of vulnerability. There's an unspoken language between them, a connection that transcends words. A single glance from him can speak volumes, carrying secrets that only they share.

The brush of his hand against hers sends shivers down her spine, an electric current that reminds her of the power of their bond. In his company, laughter is brighter, and time seems to stretch and contract, as if they exist in a world of their own making. It's the way he listens, really listens, that makes her heart swell. His interest in her thoughts, her stories, makes her feel like the protagonist in her own fairy tale.

She's learned that true love is about growing together, supporting each other's dreams, and discovering new facets of themselves through the journey. His flaws and quirks only make him more endearing, and she finds herself embracing the imperfections that make him uniquely him.

When she's asked how she feels about Remus, she struggles to find the right words. It's like trying to capture a sunbeam in a jar – an impossible task. But if she were to distill it down, she'd say that being with him feels like finding a missing puzzle piece, completing a picture she never knew was unfinished. It's a love that's both exhilarating and comforting, a love that's found a home within her heart.

Things she knew she'd never find in someone like Lucius. Or anyone else, for that matter.

Now Christmas break was approaching, and they'd both leave. It would be a month without seeing her. A month lost. A month they'd both wish, in a couple of years, they could have for themselves. Sirius, James, Peter and the other Gryffindors had made sure to crash in the common room or sleep with their partners for the past week; they could see how hard it must be for their friend and opted to give the couple some privacy before they left.

Remus woke up to an empty bed the morning they were to go home. Not only that, but there was something different in the air; there was something lacking in the air. After not feeling Y/N by his side after stretching his arms to hold her, he sat up quickly, looking around the room. There was no sign of her shoes, or the bags she packed with him the night before weren't near the door.

He walked out of the dorm in a haste, wearing only one sock and his boxers. "Sirius!" he yelled, waking his best friend up from the comfortable sleep he was having on the couch. "Sirius, wake up! I-I can't find Y/N" he breathed again, looking behind the curtains as if she'd magically appear there. "What on earth are you on about, mate?" Padfoot asked, yawning while fixing his messy locks.

"She's not here, Pads I-I-" He inhaled in desperation, panic invading his body at the reality he wasn't ready to face; Y/N left without saying goodbye. Sirius incorporated, putting some trousers on and his Queen shirt, throwing his friend a cardigan he had laying around. "What are you doing?" the lycanthrope asked as he put the sweater on.

"Well, if she left already, we can catch her before she boards the train! Go put some bloody shoes on!!!" "D-don't say that! She'd never do that." He shook his head, freezing in place. She'd never do that to him, she'd never do that to them. Remus didn't really notice when he started crying until Sirius wiped the tears off his cheeks.

"Remus, she's gone, but we still have a chance of seeing her for the last time before you go your separate ways for a month and she becomes words on paper. I understand this is hard for you, but I need you to go put some fucking Convers on before you regret not even trying to see her".

It was too late when they got to the platform. She caught the first train when Remus and she were supposed to be on the last and get to London together before parting ways. The only thing they found was a weeping Regulus and James, sitting on one bench as the last comforted his boyfriend. Remus stared at the empty tracks when he finally accepted she was gone, his friends standing behind him.

"It's okay mate, you'll see her when we're back" Sirius tried to soothe, but Regulus let out a small "No he won't!" that worked for the dam to break, making his sobs louder and harder. Moony turned with wide eyes and kneeled before the youngest Black brother, gripping him by the shoulders. "What?" he asked, fearing the worst. He handed him a silver chain with a cameo dangling from it, a small paper inside reading "I love you forever, my moon" in Y/N's handwriting.

"She's not coming back to Hogwarts, h-her parents are making her a death eater and they don't want her here anymore".

Remus stared at the jewellery in his hands, feeling his chest cave in itself and everything inside breaking in small pieces. His cracked ribs stabbed his heart, which would no longer beat without Y/N. And it made sense for a girl like her; she didn't want to cause both of them more pain. She left early in the morning, pressing a kiss to Remus' freckled nose before asking Regulus for help, him being the only person who she bid her goodbyes to.

Then, a wrecked sob was heard through the now almost empty station. Well, James, Sirius and Regulus knew it was the sound of their friend's heart falling apart into pieces, but for those still in the castle it could've just been the wind.

☆.｡.:*｡.:*☆

Two weeks proved James wrong. He told Remus he'd feel better soon, but he just kept getting worse and worse. No cheap excuse or loud screaming could ease the ache in his chest, that void in his stomach that seemed to deepen even when he did things he used to find joy in. The Potter residence was a safe heaven for the marauders, so he figured he'd spend the holidays there.

That didn't help either. Sirius had moved with them early in the year, which meant the guest room was no longer available and he had to sleep on the couch. Uncomfortable nights spent on silencing his salty tears so Euphemia or Fleamont wouldn't hear (they could tell by his eye bags and red, puffy eyes every morning but chose against asking since their sons told them enough), left Remus sure he'd go insane before Christmas.

He tried writing to her, but his owl came back with his letters all crumbled up. Not a note or a sign of her being okay, just his words staring -almost mockingly- back at him. He stopped trying after the fifth one came in pieces inside the same envelope he used. His diet consisted of a pack of cigarettes and coffee per day, though sometimes Effie could get him to down a glass of water and some biscuits.

Maybe if Remus had held her a bit tighter that night or was woken up by the sound of the door, he could've convinced her to stay. To stay with him until break to see what they could figure out together. The chain Y/N left with him dangled from his pale chest as he looked at Sirius, trying to figure out how to drive his dad's muggle car.

He sipped on his third cup of coffee that morning as his best friend sped down the street with Fleamont sitting next to him, not yet ready to give the vehicle completely, though Padfoot knew how to drive almost perfectly. A loud voice pulled him out of his thoughts, accompanied by a loud screeching on pavement "Wanna try Moons!? We could blast Bowie when they play him on the radio!".

Remus rolled his eyes and stepped inside the house, determined to get past the third sentence of the page from his most recent read since he couldn't for the life of him last night. He knew his friends meant well; They had been trying to cheer him up with things like these since he got to their home, but even when he tried baking with James, he didn't feel better.

Plus, he knew how to drive a muggle car. "Like it's hard" he mentally scoffed, plopping down on the couch as the morning light bled into the living room. He lit another cigarette and pretended to be paying attention to the words on his book, swiftly drying the stray tears his consuming thoughts of Y/N provoked when he got too carried away.

He didn't need his best friend's driving lessons or sweet pastries. He needed her to look at him in the eye and tell him she'd marry Lucius without even trying to put up a fight against her parents. Remus needed Y/N. That was his last thought before he fell asleep.

Sirius grabbed his still lit cigarette and put it out as James closed his book, propped his long legs on the couch and covered him up with a fuzzy red blanket. All they knew was that he needed help and they'd be there with him in every step of the way until he felt at least one percent better than the day before.

☆.｡.:*｡.:*☆

"That was three!" "The dice says two, and I moved two, stop bugging me Prongs". Remus knew Sirius had moved three but didn't bother on calling him out, limiting himself to grabbing the dice and roll them, getting an outstanding twelve. After seeing nothing really helped improve his mood, his best friends proposed a game night, since Moony loved them so much.

He moved the little metal top hat twelve spaces across the Monopoly board, landing in one of James' properties. "How much?" He asks, grabbing the fake money from the side. "That would b-" "Oh for fuck's sake, Remus!" scoffed the Black brother, tossing his money on the table, making the board rattle and mess up the game.

"What was that for!?" Asked Prongs, looking at both of his friends. Sirius glared daggers at his friend, shaking his head in frustration. "We know it's hard, but at least help us help you! W-we've been trying to cheer you up for weeks but it's like you don't even want to get better" the raven haired boy exclaimed.

Both James and Remus knew he didn't manage his or others' negative feelings, and they tried to be comprehensive, but in Moony's state, he couldn't find a single speck of compassion in his being. "Sirius don't be mean" "It's true James! It's like he's not even trying...".

That was the last thing he needed. With an accusatory finger and tears in his eyes, Remus got up and close to Padfoot who challenged him with just a look. "You don't know how it feels when someone takes away all you care for in this world and being so-so helpless... so shut the fuck up!" He howled, drying his tears before they dispersed on his face. Prongs' heart broke a little when he saw how his walls were up for his best friend, not wanting to seem weak by crying.

"Oh Y/N is all you care for now? You were in love, big fucking deal. The people who have been there for you and have never let you down are all in this house and you're making it hard for them to even breathe near you!" the boy spat back, getting up as well and not caring about the fact that Remus still towered over him greatly.

"Sirius stop" muttered James as his friends started a staring contest, right before Moony lunged at Sirius and started knocking down everything on the table. They weren't punching each other, but more like tugging and trying to physically pull the other to the ground. Potter's strong yet useless attempts at breaking them up only resulted in more anger coming to the fight.

The sight itself looked like a renaissance painting; two brothers crying yet letting the anger and pride consume them as they tussled in the family house. Grunting and some shouting resumed, Sirius was short but quite strong, which meant no advantage against Remus since he almost doubled him in size and wasn't exactly weak. At the commotion, the only adults at the house came running down the stairs from their room and broke them apart.

They kept staring at each other while catching their breaths as they got scolded for their behavior. "Sirius, out" Said Fleamont, already directing him to the door. "Why do I have to go outside!? It's all his fault-" "Go clear your head and come back until you've calmed down!" His dad had a gentle manner most of the time, but the stern tone that overtook his voice had always shaken Sirius to the core, so he had nothing else to do other than what he was told.

Now James was crying too, head cradled in his hands as Remus sat completely spent in the couch that worked as a bed at the time. Euphemia brewed him a cup of tea and sat beside him, cooing him until he felt better while Fleamont cleaned the mess they had made. "I'm sorry Effie" he mumbled, ashamed of how he lost himself in the heat of the moment "It's okay sweet boy... it'll pass, I promise" the woman spoke, running her hands through his hair and kissing him on the forehead softly.

She felt nothing but compassion towards his son's best friend. At their age, broken hearts felt like the worst thing in the world, but those things tended to be mutual or one-sided, not forced into teenagers on top of arranged marriage. The inner turmoil going on inside his head was something she wouldn't dare to peek in, knowing it was strong enough to lose oneself in the self. When Sirius came back, he didn't look at his family and just locked himself inside his room to sleep. Everyone followed suit after making sure Remus was okay, and left him to rest.

He didn't. At about twelve pm, he grabbed the keys of Monty's car and drove into the night, ready to get all the answers he needed.

☆.｡.:*｡.:*☆

He knew that his secret summer visits would pay off eventually. As he left the car behind one garden of his girlfriend's family's manor, Remus couldn't help but think back to all the times he had sneaked in -potentially risking his life- in a completely different mood; The afternoons they spent in the garden reading, or cuddling while having deep chats in her room.

A lot had changed, and something told him it wouldn't stop. He repeated the routine he had memorized by heart, climbing over a fence which he now could say was familiar and could land a graceful fall on the other side, making sure Y/N was in her room basing off the light being turned on or not and climbing up a series of wooden finishes that stuck out from the building.

Easy, except this time, she wasn't exactly expecting him. Her window was open, and he landed on her bed, but in an empty room. At this rate of the process, he would already be covered in her blood red lipstick from so many kisses as a present for putting up with all the acrobatics needed to get to her. Now he was alone in an empty room.

There was a beautiful white dress sitting on a mannequin in a far corner where her record player used to be. Remus walked over to it quietly. It had puffy sleeves along with a gorgeous corset and he remembered she once told him that's exactly how her dream dress would be like, making him smile because at least she's getting to wear something she likes.

He sat back on her bed, looking around, and realized the dress was the only new thing; Her desk was still a mess next to her closet. The sheets he had spent days and nights wrapped in were still white, with little red flowers and some clothes were laying on the ground, all smelling like his girl. He didn't realize when he started crying.

The void was there again, but he had to be quiet or- "Remus?". Time froze, and he knew who the voice belonged to because how could he not? Somehow, he was scared to look up and face it all. Maybe she'd be mad at him and he just single-handedly ruined the last chance to get her back, maybe she hated him and-

A soft hand took hold of his chin and made him look and there she was, his bright girl. Not so bright at the moment, though, no. Y/N had a soft yet noticeable frown on her face; she was paler, like the life was sucked out of her by this whole situation. "No, baby, don't" he whispered, getting up and pulling her into his chest.

Remus thought he was angry. That the only thing he'd do was scream and ask why she left without saying goodbye, but now the only thing that mattered was that he could smell her hair and feel her skin under his fingertips. She sobbed, whispering small "I'm so sorry"s like a lost prayer, closer to his heart to know she really meant it. They cried together, a silent agreement of peace.

All was good between them. Y/N had her reasons, and she'd explain if she wanted to. Remus didn't mind. Remus only wanted them together. "H-How did you get here I-" "I kind of stole the Potter's car..." he smiled through the tears, making her dryly chuckle as well. The couple sat on the bed. He grabbed the girl's hands in a strong grip as he looked into those pools of y/e/c he had missed so much.

"How you been?" He sighed, seeing her distress even when she tried not to show it "Bad. The Malfoys have been coming over for dinner in the past week a-and now I can't hide from Lucius... at least my dress is pretty, see?" She sheepishly uttered, weakly pointing at the garment her boyfriend had scanned just moments ago. "It's gorgeous, darling".

After a moment of silence, Y/N returned his question, adding a small "you look thin" in the end. "Staying with the Potters has made me realize how terrible of a guest I can be. I feel ashamed. Sirius probably hates me b-because we had this huge fight and-" "Moody Moony" she giggled. Godric, how he missed that laugh. How he missed her. Remus leaned over and pressed a kiss to her lips.

And when she crawled on his lap and he tasted her tears, he knew this would not be their end. It couldn't and he wouldn't allow it. They wouldn't be a tragic love story like the ones he read about, no. They deserved better. He pulled away, using the sleeve of his sweater to dry her face but staying close to her.

"Let's leave, Y/N".

"Where would we go?" The girl tearily said, not denying the possibility once. "W-we can go live with Effie and Flea for a while until we get a flat of our own. When we finish school, we'll work and we can move far away. Just us." Gods, he sounded like a small child talking of his dream fantasy life. He knew, but didn't mind.

"They'll find me, Remus. Merlin knows what they will do to me if they find out!" They had to try. "We have to try, love. Please. I-I can't lose you, Y/N! I can't sleep, I can't eat, I haven't smiled since you left... You can't marry that bastard- just- please." He pleaded as muggles do on churches, kneeling down to everything they held sacred and just prayed so things would turn out right.

Y/N was everything he held sacred, and he thanked every god when she nodded with a teary smile, getting up to pack her bag.

And so, they ran away together. Two kids in love with nothing much to lose but risking the bit of ordinariness that they had with a war looming over their heads. They used the front door to leave, their rapid steps reverberating in the cold marble tiles of the mansion before they exited and ran from the place Y/N had called home for so long.

The couple crashed at James' place for a short time before realizing that if Y/N's parents were looking for her along with death eaters, they could get the Potters in trouble. Regulus offered them his family's money, seeing as they still didn't know he was dating a "blood traitor", he was safe and got a shitload of cash as an allowance.

Prongs and his parents also gave them something to contribute and soon, they were two eccentric teenagers living all by themselves on a flat all their neighbors wondered how they payed. They ended their last year at Hogwarts with no setbacks (word had it the Dark Lord forced her parents to focus on their mission instead of finding their daughter to which they enthusiastically obliged) and in 1979, joined the Order of the Phoenix.

During the war, Regulus's disclosure about Voldemort's plan to kill the Potters was crucial to their survival and the war coming to an end. But as he promised Y/N, things turned out just fine. They couldn't say things were easy all the time, no. But now, as Remus and Y/N stared at Harry playing with his trucks in the backyard while his parents went out on a date, they knew it was all worth it.

She felt her fiance's arms wrap around her waist, a cup of tea for her in Remus' hands. "He's so cute" she giggled, mumbling a small "thanks" to him for the warm beverage. He hummed in response, smiling at the little boy asking his uncle and aunt to go play with him. How could you say no to that face?

Their house was a two store building on a quiet street in London. They had a big garden (now filled with their nephew's toys), fresh air and records playing nonstop. Despite their tumultuous past, Remus and Y/N's love remained unwavering, allowing them to live a peaceful life together.

In their eyes, an unspoken language is spoken, a connection woven from shared glances, small gestures, and the depth of their shared history. Their hands find each other's, a constant reminder that they are not alone on this journey. Their footsteps echo through the streets they've walked together, imprinted with the steps of a love that has danced through both sunshine and rain.

˚ · • . ° .

Oh I'm so so so proud of this one!!! Can't lie. I had a lot of fun writing it and almost teared up tbh. Hope you dearies love it as much as me!!

Taglist (DM or reply to be added): @kquil <3

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Thanks again, stranger. Hope you have a nice day<3

NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO REPOST AS THEIR OWN/TRANSLATE/OR COPY MY WORK IN ANY PLATFORM OR SPACE WITHOUT MY EXPLICIT CONSENT.

---

It's nice to have a friend.

Remus Lupin x fem!reader

"No one loves a monster like me."

"I do."

warnings- cursing, the prank (with major changes), angst (?), my writing

13k

author's note:- i wrote this listening to taylor and lana. english is not my first language, so beware <3

"What time do you call this?"

You bit down your lips at Remus's flat tone. He looked up from his book with an expression you couldn't figure to be irritated or nonchalant.

"I'm so sorry, Remus. I got carried away with astrology," you said as you attempted to sit beside him. He quickly put his books on your seat with a loud thud. Fortunately for him, the library was empty.

"Then go and play with your stars."

"What?" you asked, a bit confused. "Aren't we supposed to study together?"

"We were. But you're late," he said, shaking his head.

"I'm only twenty minutes late," you furrowed your brows at his uncharacteristic rudeness.

He was staring at you as you glared back.

"You damaged your brain while studying Transfiguration without me, didn't you?"

You arched a brow uncomfortably, getting ready to talk again, but Remus's face softened and changed into amusement. The next thing you heard was his light laughter.

"Hilarious, prick."

"I'm a funny bloke," he chuckled as he lifted the books to grant you a seat, which you took.

"You're not really, James and Sirius are way funnier."

"Weren't you the one throwing a tantrum over their prank yesterday? You certainly weren't laughing."

"They died my hair to green! And don't act like you had no part in it."

"I only told them green is your favourite colour. Was I wrong?"

You blankly ogled his smirk.

"Green suits you."

"You know what suits you, Remus? Purple. Should I do something about it?"

To your irritation, his smirk widened. You turned your hand into a fist. "Which eye is your favourite?"

"I only have two."

"That's not an answer."

"Is there supposed to be an answer? The two are the same."

"Well then," you threw your fist at his eye, Remus raising his arm to protect himself.

"Did Sirius bribe you to hit me?"

"No, but he did offer me some galleons in exchange for your chocolate this morning."

"That was you?!"

This time it's your turn to smirk.

"Time is of the essence, Remus, we have to study." you opened a book before you, waving off Remus as he grumbled something under his breath.

You started to study together, helping each other occasionally.

It was a habit now; you two would study together every week for at least four evenings.

Remus was frustrated today; you could tell from his bouncing leg and twitching lips. But you didn't point it out; you knew he felt uncomfortable when someone coddled him. It was one of the perks of being best friends for five years.

From the first year of Hogwarts to the sixth year, you learned almost everything about Remus by heart. How he scratched the hairs on the back of his neck when deep in thought, or how he never looked up from his book while reading, even if his friends were trying to converse with him.

In return, he knew exactly what to tell you when you were overwhelmed by the studies or how to make you laugh when you were feeling like crying.

You two had always been there for each other, listening, understanding, and supporting one another through everything. You had stayed in the hospital wing all night for Remus when he broke his arm in the third year, and he had been there for you when you were burning with a fever two years ago.

There were too many incidents like these which you and Remus shared that proved the special bond between you. James, Sirius and Peter were also your friends, but with Remus, it was different; unique.

He had made you feel appreciated and loved, never let you down or never let anyone look down on you. Sometimes James and Sirius would mock you two for this affection, but that would always earn them a smack on the head from Remus.

You knew everything about him, and he knew everything about you.

Well, almost everything.

He didn't know that your affection for him was something more; It had been for quite some time now.

At first, you thought it was an innocent crush because of teenage hormones or something, and it would fade away with time.

But it didn't. You grew out of 'I fancy Remus Lupin' to 'I love Remus Lupin'. Of course, you never confided in anyone about your burning infatuation, keeping it secret, burying it deep inside your heart.

The same secret that was fighting to break free from your heart's walls every time Remus smiled at you.

The same secret that was clawing from its grave to get up and fly, bleeding your heart every time Remus embraced you and called you a friend.

The same secret that prickled your eyes with tears every time you remembered that you weren't the only one keeping secrets.

He was keeping something from you, too.

You had always felt it in his eyes, glancing away when you would ask about a scar on his arm or a cut on his thumb.

The first time you fought on it was when you saw the huge scar on his face in the second year. You had worried so much that you pushed Remus's patience, and he had yelled at you. For twelve years old, it was a big hit in their friendship. You hadn't talked to each other for two weeks. In the end, Remus approached you to apologize and explained how the Marauders' prank had backfired, resulting in his scar. You had cried that day because of how much you had missed your friend. Remus hugged you tight, but you could swear you heard a sniff or two from him as well.

Remus would always say the scars on his body were because of a prank, and you would pretend to believe it.

Until this year.

You may be a Gryffindor, but you weren't stupid. You had noticed how he would disappear every full moon and "get sick." You didn't push him before because you thought maybe he needed time, but his distrust was turning the understanding in you into resentment.

It hadn't been to hard make speculations about the situation, but you wanted him to confide in you.

"Are you asleep with your eyes open?" Remus startled you, pulling your focus back to the present.

"Are you calling me a dolphin?"

"You two have a lot in common," he patted your head with his quill.

"Freakingly cute?"

"Freakingly evil."

You elbowed him but regretted it the moment he grimaced with pain.

"What's wrong?" you asked, albeit you immediately guessed another injury under his brown jumper.

He forced a smile. "You just proved my point."

"I didn't even hit you that hard!"

"You tell yourself that," Remus stood up, nodding simultaneously. "That's enough for today."

"Already? You sure you okay?" you worried a bit, standing up. "It's only been forty minutes."

"For you, lazy lady. I've been here for an hour, remember?"

"Go on, rub it in, or I won't hear the end of it until tomorrow."

You two were walking to the exit now with relaxed paces.

"Yeah, about that. I won't be able to study with you tomorrow."

You inhale a deep breath and huff it out.

Here goes nothing.

"Again?"

"Yes," his voice is rusty now.

"Why?"

"Marauders thing."

Same excuse as the last month.

You didn't say anything, giving him one more chance again.

"That's bollocks, Remus."

Remus simply curved a side of his lips to a tiny smile, almost unnoticeable to anyone. Well, anyone but you.

However, you were too irritated to mellow at his smile.

Only for one day, you didn't see him, and he had a new scar, and what a coincidence that the same day was a full moon.

"You really shouldn't curse."

"What truly happened to your arm?"

"Sirius accidentally cut it," he said for the third time that day.

"Stop lying."

Maybe you were wrong to push him like this, but you didn't care at that moment.

"I'm not lying, Y/N," he said before grabbing both his and your books and pressing them between his left arm and torso. "Let's go, we have class in ten."

When you didn't budge, his smile grew, and he stretched his free hand towards you.

"Come on, move your arse. We'll be late."

"You shouldn't curse," you said firmly, trying to look as angry as you could. You were on your limit and had no intention of backing off this time. "And I'm not coming with you."

"Why is that?" he pulled his outstretched hand back to the pocket of his trousers, wearing a soft expression, which his mocking tone contrasted with.

"You know why."

"I'm afraid I don't know why you are not coming to class."

"I will go to class, just not with you," you scowled at his nonchalance.

He pressed his lips into a thin line.

"And why is that?"

"Because I've decided that I'm not talking to you."

"That's not fair."

"Yes, it is," you snapped, standing before him. You waited a few minutes for something, eyes narrowed. When Remus chuckled at your annoyed expression, you walked past him, hitting him with your shoulder.

Striding to the common room's exit, you ignored Remus's call. Only after leaving his sight, you fathomed that you had left your book with him but shrugged it off. You two always sat next to each other, and Remus was too nice of a friend not to bring it back.

"Hey, angry lady." his playfully soft tone danced in your ear, making your heart flutter in your ribcage.

"Go away."

"We're headed to the same class."

"Go away from me, then."

"I'm carrying your book."

"No one asked you to," you still hadn't spared him a glance but could feel the soft smile on his lips.

"No one needed to. I'm a gentleman."

"My arse."

"What about it?"

Your head snapped in his direction. Remus was smirking at you, acting like you weren't almost about to fight ten minutes ago.

You walked into the classroom from the door Remus held open for you straight to your seat.

"Give me my book back."

"You forgot the magic word, lady," he sat next to you. "You know, the one starting with 'P'."

"Petrificius Totalus?"

"That would also work, but I had something nicer in mind. Try again?"

"Periculum."

"What would you need the flames for?"

"To burn you."

"You're so violent this morning. Hadn't had your morning coffee?"

"Just give the bloody book back."

"Now that I think about it, you've been violent for the last three days."

You groaned when the professor started the lesson.

"Don't be bitter, Y/N," he pleaded, watching you snatch your book back. He hated when you were angry at him. "I already told you the truth."

"That's rubbish, and you know that," you whispered so the professor wouldn't hear you. "We're not twelve anymore."

"You were a lot nicer when you were twelve, though."

"And a lot stupider."

"Aye. You'll hear no argument from me."

You knew he was merely attempting to lighten the mood, but he didn't realise it only made you more furious.

"Why are you keeping a secret from me?" you finally blurted out the question gnawing on your insides.

Remus's smile ebbed. He exhaled sharply before turning away from you.

"I am not keeping anything from you."

"Then you must think I am gullible because that's the only explanation for you repeating the same 'prank injuries' lie over and over again."

"That's not a lie."

"Is there a problem?"

You clenched your jaw when you heard the professor's rough voice.

"No, Professor," Remus shook his head, ending the chatter.

You didn't talk for the rest of the lesson. However, to your frustration, you couldn't help but sneak glances in his direction only to find him doing the same.

The moment the class was dismissed, you immediately got up and left the room. The last half an hour in the boring potion class made you question some things. You were at odds with yourself.

And now, in the middle of the hallway, with your books to your chest, your mind was hosting a party for questions.

Was it really about you? Maybe no.

Did Remus deserve some secrecy? Maybe yes.

Did your infatuation with your best friend get in the way of your judgement? Breaking your heart not because he had a secret he didn't want to share but because he didn't love you back? No, of course not (It did).

But you deserved his trust. At least, that was how you were feeling based on the years of friendship.

Were you wrong? Probably.

"Y/N!"

You took a deep breath and blew it out as you turned to face Remus, who quickened his pace to catch up to you. He's smiling. Again.

"What?"

"You still pissed at me?"

"Yes? No? I don't know, Remus," you shrugged and carried on walking to the Great Hall. "I don't understand why you won't share it with me. Don't you trust me?"

"I do," he drawled, and you waited for him to continue. He hesitated at first but gave up after your determination not to make a sound.

"Listen, it's not something about you. I just don't like sharing it."

"Does James know? Sirius? Peter?" you arched a brow, desperately hoping for him to say no. You watched him he open his mouth and close it without a reply.

Well, that was it.

He didn't want to tell you, and you were supposed to be okay with it.

You nodded, hurt at something you didn't want to voice.

Remus stopped you from your arm, turning you so that you would face him. His hands made their way to your sulked shoulders and caressed them back to your hands to hold them tight, sending shivers through your body.

"When the time is right, I will tell you," he said. You looked up into his brown eyes, forcing yourself not to peek at his lips. You had always loved his eyes, and his lips.

"I promise. Just trust me."

You lowered your head, closing your eyes to the pleading in his words.

"I just don't understand why you don't trust me."

Remus stepped forward, letting your head lay on his chest.

"I told you, dove. This is not about you. Truly."

You knew it too.

You knew the reason you were so angry was not Remus but your love for him.

You knew you were not resenting Remus but your own inability to suppress your feelings.

So you nodded, hugging him back.

"What do you smell?" you asked Remus, trying not to sound too eager or excited. You were hoping he couldn't hear your racing heart and couldn't see your trembling hands.

Remus inclined his head to the potion, taking in the smell the Amortentia was radiating.

One, two, tree...

He frowned, looking lost. He clenched his jaw, blinking fast. Something must be wrong.

Six, seven, eight...

He cleared his throat, locking his eyes with yours.

Twelve, thirteen, fourteen...

Remus straightened his back, curling the side of his lips upwards awkwardly.

"What do you smell?"

You gulp, lips parting and then closing and then parting again. You weren't sure it was the right thing to tell him what you smelled from the love potion.

Parchment, coffee, melting chocolate.

Everything that reminded you of him.

"I asked you first."

You sounded taut, internally having a fight between your heart and your brain over the control of your body, mind, and soul.

You didn't know what you wanted to hear from him exactly, but what you did know was that you were praying for it to be something, anything that would remind him of you.

"It's- it's nice," he simply said.

"Mine, too."

"What is it?" he asked, his voice so low that if you weren't so close to him, you wouldn't hear him from all the chatters in the classroom.

You longed to tell him.

Tell him and get it over with. Put down the weighing affection in your shoulders, your lungs and your heart, even if it meant having it broken.

You looked up at him, biting your lower lip so hard it almost bled.

Remus waited and waited and waited for you.

"It's uhm, it's parchment... and uh,-"

"Mr Lupin, are you two done with your potions?

You quickly put a distance between you and Remus. Professor Slughorn stood by the pot, smelling the potion.

"Ah, you are. Well done, you two."

You refused to turn back to Remus, your eyes examining every student in the classroom as Remus cleaned the desk.

James Potter was grinning at Lily Evans, who, in turn, had an unreadable expression on her face. You hoped Lily had smelled James; it would make your friend foolishly happy.

It was a bit chaotic in the room; happy, angry, sad and confused faces were scattered around. A student had even managed to blow up his potion somehow.

You saw Sirius and wondered what he had smelled, but soon your thoughts took a turn when you noticed Sirius was not alone. He was muttering something to Severus Snape with a devilish grin on his face.

"You guys have another prank coming?" you asked Remus, your eyes not leaving Sirius.

You didn't see Remus flinch and almost drop the knife.

"No? Why?"

"Oh, nothing. Then Sirius must be messing with Snape for his own amusement."

Remus hummed softly.

"I love James and Sirius, but was this really necessary?"

It was cold, and you were freezing, not because you had clothed lightly but because it was seven in the morning and in the middle of winter. Remus, seated next to you, was in no better condition. All because your friends insisted you watch them fly around on a broom.

"Well, he had said we were a great support."

"Do I look like any kind of support at this moment?" your teeth were starting to chatter. You closed your eyes at Remus's chuckle, hoping, wishing and praying that you would never forget its sweet melody.

"You look anything but."

You laughed at his words, totally oblivious, his gaze lingering on your smile.

"When is even this game?"

"In two weeks, that's the only thing Pads and Prongs talk about. Where's your head at?"

"I usually tune them out. They're disturbingly loud."

James screamed loudly at Sirius; you threw an 'I told you so' glance at Remus, who rolled his eyes in return. You liked when he did that.

"Try living in the same dorm room with them."

"Must not be fun since you're carrying the scars of the battle in your body."

"And in my soul," he nodded swiftly several of times. You adored the way his brown locks messed into each other, still looking fluffy. "Are you cold?"

"No, I'm sweating," you snarked, peeking at Remus. Maybe you were wrong because he definitely appeared more decent than you were. He beamed at you, sneaking in closer, his leg brushing yours.

Without further ado, he pulled his arm over your shoulder, tugging you to his chest. Your breath hitched as his scent filled your mind.

You hated how your heart reacted every time you were this close to him; a hand away to hold his hand, a breath away to kiss his lips-

"Better now?"

You pushed the image deep into your mind, heat blossoming in your chest, colouring your cheeks.

"Cheers."

The next you-don't-know-how-many minutes later, the practice was over, and the players were now descending to the ground. Remus hadn't let go of you yet, not that you wanted him to.

You watched as James and Sirius joked around, Peter joining them later on.

"Hey, lovebirds! Come down!" James yelled, his hands around his mouth.

You raised your head to see Remus frowning at them before smiling at you, which you returned shortly as you stepped out of his warm embrace.

"Who's hungry?" James asked as you two also joined them and answered before anyone else could. "I am. Let's eat."

"Evans still won't tell me what she smelled in Amortentia."

"Drop it, mate. If she wanted to tell, she would've," Sirius slapped James's back before stepping into the Great Hall before everyone.

"If you push her, she might get irritated, you know," you reasoned with James, albeit you knew it was in vain.

"With me? Impossible, I'm lovely."

"Not to her, apparently."

"Not everyone has a Moony around to cuddle, Y/N."

Peter snorted and dodged the hit from Remus's hand.

"What? James, that's not even relevant!" you hid the crimson of your checks with feigned annoyance, refusing to glance at Remus.

"It doesn't have to be relevant," he shrugged, grinning ear to ear. You shook your head, grabbed a toast and didn't see Remus arch a brow at James.

"Where's Sirius?" Peter asked, making all of you turn around.

"He was there a minute ago, was he not?" you questioned, aimed mainly at James. If there was only one person you could ask about Sirius, and he would have an answer, he was James.

Obviously, not this time because James simply shrugged.

You were jealous. You had never been jealous over Remus until now.

You knew Lily Evans was his good friend, you liked her too, and you knew Remus would never even think about her in that way.

But still, you couldn't help but feel like you were on the edge of a cliff, waiting for someone to push you every time Lily would put her hand on Remus's hand, grazing the tiny cut lightly with her thumb. Your heart was a target to all sorts of knives when you heard Remus chuckle at Lily's words.

You couldn't help but wonder if she knew Remus's secret.

"Jealousy is not a good look on you, Y/N," Sirius cut your thoughts short.

"I don't know what you're talking about," you dismissed him with a shake of your head, pulling your gaze from Remus to the potion top. "Did you add the Powdered Root of Asphodel?"

Remus had always told you that you were the girl closest to him, and it would always stay like this. But you couldn't get rid of the doubts in your mind you were so certain that were emerging because of your feelings.

"Yes, stir twice clockwise," Sirius started working on Sopophorous bean juice. "I'm talking about Moony."

"What about him?" you bit down your lip and hoped your voice didn't shake when Remus's nickname startled your train of thought. How you loved that nickname...

"Others may be oblivious but don't be ridiculous, I see how you stare at him."

You didn't know how to reply to that claim, so you kept silent but turned your eyes to the long-haired boy. He smiled at you as if an encouragement, which almost crumbled your defences. You were on the verge of giving out.

Would it be bad if there was at last a person to share your feelings with?

"So, is it a monthly 'I fancy him' situation or..?"

"Something more," you finished for him, earning a croon. Here, you had said it with no guarantee that he would keep your secret but with the hope that he would help you carry the burden.

"Am I that transparent?"

"Only when you're jealous, love."

You nodded, smiling a little.

Sirius watched the way you were picking the skin around your nails.

"Hey, stop worrying. I'll tell no one."

Relief had hugged you at that moment, thankful that Sirius took your feelings lightly and didn't make a big deal out of it. Also, happy that you weren't alone anymore in this secret; you had someone capable of understanding.

"Sirius?"

"Mhm?"

"Do you think he'll ever...love me back?"

He sighed, drying his hands. You felt his hands on yours, returning the gesture.

"You know Moony, he doesn't talk about feelings," you laughed bitterly, placing your head on his shoulder. "But he is a plonker if he never returns your feelings, and I'll make sure he gets a new scar if he ever hurts them."

"Thank you, Pads," you melt into his hug as you feel his arms around your waist.

"You smell of strawberries," he took a strand of your hair into his hand, sniffing it. "What shampoo are you using?"

"Stop smelling me like a dog!" you pushed him away, giggling when he gasped in fake hurt. "Focus, we still have to finish that potion."

Sirius carried on with his Sopophorous bean, and you looked around for a sloth brain.

"Did you forget the sloth brain?"

"I thought you were going to get it," Sirius shrugged, looking up. "Moony and Evans have one more. Go and grab from them."

You glanced at the pair, noticing that Remus was already staring at you. He didn't budge when you smiled at him and changed his focus back to Lily.

Red hair, green eyes, dainty freckles and graceful stature. Why did she have to be this beautiful?

You sauntered to their seat, passing near a bunch of students that were requiring the Professor's attention. Remus refused to look up to you when Lily offered you a kind smile.

"Hey, Remus, do you mind sharing an ingredient with me and Sirius?"

"You don't have it?" his tone was not kind, and his eyes were cold.

"I thought he was supposed to take it, but it turns out he thought I would take it," you mumbled real quick, still not fathoming the reason behind his coldness. "So here we are."

"You guys were pretty out of it. How do you even manage to get the job done?"

"We are doing fine," you frown. What was wrong with him?

"Yeah, I saw."

"Are you going to let us borrow the ingredient, or should I ask James and Pete?"

His gaze finally changed into something you couldn't quite name. He turned to Lily, who was trying her best not to pry.

"We won't need the spare," she consented in an instant. Remus dashed to the other side of the desk, clutching the jar and dashing back to you.

"Thank you," you mumbled as you clasped it in your hand. He merely nodded one time before carrying on with whatever he was doing.

You could swear you heard Lily whisper to him, 'What the bloody hell is wrong with you?' before parting, but you ignored it.

You couldn't find Sirius when you were back, so you finished the last steps of the potion on your own. He didn't pop up when the Professor checked the work or when he dismissed the class.

"Why are you pissed at me?"

"Moony is pissed at you?" James hopped in as you made your seat next to Remus, who was busy with his meal.

"Yes–"

"I'm not."

You stared at him in disbelief and bemusement.

"You certainly are. Now tell me why."

When Remus looked at you, a smile inched his lips up though his eyes were still grumpy.

"Where's Sirius?" he asked.

"I-I don't know," your head sought him out, giving out in confusion. "How is he any relevant?"

You ignored James muttering, 'You really do like that word, huh?' as your eyes desperately tried to understand why Remus was being weird. But instead of an appropriate reason, all you got was a shrug.

You shook your head in dissatisfaction and stretched your arm for the pumpkin juice. Seeing your attempts, Remus's hand had already grabbed it and now was pouring the juice for you.

"Thank you," you whispered before clearing your throat. "So, we'll study together in the library again, right? Now that you're not 'angry'?"

Remus shook his head when you drew quotation marks with your fingers in the air.

"Today, yes. Not tomorrow, though."

You quelled the rising anger and heartbreak in your heart. In a trice, you twisted in your seat, facing James.

"What are your plans for tomorrow?"

He was taken aback by your sudden query. By the state of his full mouth and the bread crumbs around his lips, you figured out that he wasn't paying the slightest attention to you and Remus.

"Quidditch practice before breakfast?"

"In the evening, I mean."

"We're supposed to–"

"I wasn't talking to you, Remus."

Remus pursed his lips, cursing himself for not talking to James that morning. James's face crinkled in bafflement.

"I am supposed to finish my star chart with Sirius."

You nodded and glowered back at your best friend. James made a face at Remus behind your back as if asking what was going on.

"You don't take Astrology, Remus."

"I'll study with Lily tomorrow," he said, and you froze.

You were supposed to study together. You and Remus. Together. Like the way it had always been.

He wasn't supposed to study with the prettiest girl in the house. The graceful girl with a delicate smile and silky fire-kissed hair.

You didn't know when or how the familiar burn in your chest surged up, but you recognised what it was. You welcomed the acute sharpness of its thorns and the way it cut through your heart.

"Oi! Why didn't you tell me that? I could've finished the chart earlier and joined you!"

You tuned out James's protest. You wished you could tune out Remus mumbling to him, 'We decided in the potions.' too. But if there was one thing you could never turn a deaf ear to, it was Remus's voice; soft yet stern, melancholic yet hopeful. You wanted to tattoo the tune into your brain the way it was engraved into your heart.

You heard Remus call your name. You hated the way you loved your name from his lips. He had always chanted your name so gently, like an incantation, caressing your soul's most hidden-away parts.

"Yes?"

"I couldn't say no to Lily," he said apologetically.

"Yes, of course," you rose from your seat, offering Remus a smile you hoped covered the hurt behind your eyes. "I understand."

"Where you going?" he attempted to grab you by your wrist, but you were agile. You snatched your wrist away unobtrusively.

"I'm going to look for Sirius."

"Hiya, love," Sirius greeted you at the curtail step of the Grand Staircase. You had looked for him in the castle, but you stumbled on him when you finally gave up and decided to head to the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Where were you? I couldn't find you close to the end of the potions," you asked him, feeling a bit better now that you're out of Remus's company.

He shrugged, denying you the answer.

"You, too, Pads?" you stopped your steps, making Sirius do the same. He looked confused.

"I, too, what?"

"Somehow, I never get an answer to any of my questions these days, and it's bloody frustrating," you blurted out the grudge that had made home in you within a breath.

"Someone's getting ready to throw a strop," his mocking tone brought you to your senses. You pouted, sighing away the anger and resentment building up in your core.

"Don't sulk, love," he said as he dropped a hand on your shoulder, which impeded your movement on the stairs. "If it is any consolation, I have a problem with Snape."

"What problem?"

"You remember our last prank on him, right?" he smiled sheepishly. He continued when you nodded. "Right, so he may or may not have been trying to get back at me for it."

"So you two have been fighting like two little third-years for the last week?"

"Uh-huh," you rolled your eyes when he showed you his ridiculously white teeth. "I'm setting the ground for something big, but can't tell you, so don't ask."

"Fine."

"Your turn."

"It's silly," you cringed at the thought. Everything always made sense in your head until it was time to actually voice them.

"Good. Then we'll have a laugh. Come on, now," Sirius squeezed your arm as reassurance.

"Remus is a liar. Sometimes..." you purposely left out the once-in-a-month fact, "He stands me up, saying it's a Marauders thing-"

You held your hand up to interrupt Sirius, who was about to back up his friend.

"Don't. It is a lie. I know something is going on, and I have speculations, I'm not stupid, Sirius–"

"Never said you were."

"And it's okay, you know? We talked about it, and he told me he needed time, and I didn't argue. But now he tells me he isn't gonna study with me because he promised Lily, and I know it's an excuse because he couldn't use the 'Marauders thing' lie this time–"

"Don't forget to breathe."

"It's just...she's pretty and smart and–"

"In love with Prongs."

"You don't know that."

"No, but she will be, and you don't even need to worry about Evans. She's just a good friend of Moony."

You exhale heavily, begging for your endeavours to suppress the ache in your throat to work.

Yes, she was a good friend of Remus. But you're supposed to be his best friend.

Howbeit, more importantly, what was muddling you was the thought that Lily knew Remus's secret.

"I know, Pads. I just can't help it."

Sirius said the password to your common room and gave you the way first.

"You should talk to him, you know," he said as you threw yourself onto a sofa.

"And tell him that I'm ridiculously jealous because of his friendship with Evans, yeah?"

You smiled at Sirius's laugh. "I pity you, love."

You pitied yourself, too.

You grimaced when you felt the metallic taste of blood. Pulling your teeth from your lips, you pushed them together so the blood on them would dry.

You've been pacing around your dorm room, contemplating whether to get down to the library.

Part of you yearned for Remus's presence, while the other part wanted to avoid him forever, not ready to face and voice your thoughts to him. You knew he never left any quarrel unsolved, never letting you stay upset.

Ultimately, your love for him overwhelmed your resentment, and before you knew it, you grabbed your book and ambled down the stairs.

Your knuckles were white from clutching the book hard when you entered the empty library. The only thing you could think about was if Remus was going to be there.

And he was.

He raised his head from his book the moment you crossed his sight, brown eyes full of different emotions that you couldn't sort.

You chose to ignore how his leg was bouncing and how his hair was way messier than usual.

He softly smiled at you when you sat next to him. You smiled back.

You hoped maybe he would act like everything was alright and you wouldn't have to think about your feelings.

But you inhaled sharply when he didn't.

"We're fighting a lot these days," he said, looking at your fingers rather than your eyes. "I hate it when we fight."

"We didn't fight."

"It may not be a fight, but," he took your hands into his, "I know you're hurt."

When you kept silent, he took this as his cue to go on.

"I'm sorry, dove. I should've known it would hurt your feelings to stand up our evening studies."

"You know well that it is not the matter," you said, pulling your hands back. "Stop acting like you don't."

"I'm going to need you to be more specific."

Dozens of questions raced through your mind, but you only managed to ask the one tearing you apart with jealousy. You pushed to voice that screamed at you, saying 'you're being too blunt' back in its place.

"Does Lily know your secret?"

Remus sighed. He parted his lips and then pushed them back together. You fathomed that he was getting irritated from the twitch of his hand.

"I thought we agreed that you wouldn't bring this up again–"

"Does she?"

"She does."

"You told her."

"She figured it out herself," he arched his brow at you eloquently. You despised the meaning behind that expression. It mocked you, claiming that you were not as bright as another.

"Of course, she did," You turned your side to him and opened the cover of your book. Little did he know you had figured everything, too. Except, you waited for his confiding.

"Alright, that's it," Remus shut the cover back to regain your attention. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What?"

"Y/N, you've been picking fights for the last bloody month. And I try, I really, really try to be patient but I don't understand what your problem is."

Your face wrinkled in confusion. 

"Remus, what are you talking about? We were fine until this morning."

Remus held back for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Maybe. But we're having the exact bloody conversation every once a month, and it's getting on my nerves."

This was the last straw for you. Getting on his nerves? 

You had been patient with him since the day you became friends.

You had been understanding towards him every time he pushed you away when he was upset and pulled you back for support.

You had been gentle with him every time he snapped at you before full moons and every time he broke your heart after full moons.

And you had been loving him for the last five years, first as your friend, then as a boy, despite his flaws, blemishes and imperfections.

And now he couldn't even handle your resentment?

Anger climbed its way to your chest, burning down every wall you've ever built to keep your heart's secrets hidden away.

Words were scattered across your mind, ready for you to use them as your weapon against the pain havocing in your soul.

You couldn't keep anything in anymore.

"You know what's getting on my nerves, Remus? You being a liar–"

"I am a liar?"

"Yes. Yes, you fucking are. You have been lying to me for the last five years, and I've been bloody patient.

You think you're being patient? Well, try being best friends with yourself. Someone who lies to you, keeps secrets from you, but tells you you're his best friend, and then fucking repeats everything again."

"I asked you to give me time!"

"And I did! I've been understanding towards you and acted dumb every time you gave me nonsense excuses like you did today."

Remus shook his head. 

"You're being selfish."

"I am being selfish?" your eyes widened in disbelief. He truly had the gall to call you selfish after five years of his lies, excuses, and your espousing only for his sake.

"It's not always about you, you know. I just wanted to spend some time with Lily tomorrow, it's not an excuse."

You sniggered, awed by the way he could lie so easily.

"How come even Evans knows you better than me?!"

Remus clenched his jaw and rose up to his feet. You knew he was trying his best to keep himself collected, not to take out the anger on you, but you had had enough. You looked up to the veins popping up on his neck from your seat when he raised his voice.

"She figured everything out herself! It's not my fault that you can't do that!"

"So, now I have to try to solve you out by myself? That's not how friendships work, Remus! You're supposed to trust me-"

"No! I don't have to do anything! I've had fucking enough. I don't owe anyone anything, including you. Remus this, Remus that. Everyone has something they want from Remus. Everyone rubs their so-called favours and sacrifices into my face, always demanding something in return-"

"I've never even once harped on anything I did for you! I only wanted you to open up to me-"

"And the only thing I asked from you was patience! Fucking patience!" he dashed at you, grabbing you by the sides. "But here you are, bringing up the same bloody thing every month like a broken record! So yes, you are the most selfish girl I've ever met!"

His words cut through your heart like a sword, the same sword you had placed in his hand.

You looked at his dilated pupils and how they almost swallowed the gentleness of the brown you always loved.

You blinked the tears away that were threatening to invade your vision and swallowed the lump in your throat down.

Patience, he had said. Time, he had said. You were selfish, he had said.

An unfamiliar surge of acrimony washed you down, anger flaming in your chest. Its white flames swallowed your love for the boy whole, echoing his words from nothingness.

You pushed him away as hard as you could. He tottered a few steps back, eyes softening at your raged visage. In a blink, you were up from your seat and closed the distance between you two.

"You want patience? I have been patient when you let everyone in but me. I've been patient when you pushed me away in the second year after learning about your father. When you snapped at me for worrying about you. When you yelled at me because I wanted to touch the scar on your face." 

Remus parted his lips, but you held your hand to stop him from talking. With every sentence, your tone was soaring, the tears were prickling your eyes, and you had let go.

"Don't interrupt me! I'm not done. I gave you time when you got 'sick' every month and didn't let me see you or when you cried in my lap but refused to talk to me later. I gave you time when you didn't speak to me for days because you were angry and when you lied to me every month because you didn't trust me enough!

You want time and patience?!

I have given you my time and patience for the last five years and have been loving you for the past three, Remus! So don't you ever dare to call me selfish!"

You snapped your mouth shut, letting the wave of fury and relief wash over you. Remus's eyes changed into something new, something you had never learned about him.

 Only then did a stronger feeling hit you: dread.

You had confessed your love for him. 

His eyes were heavy with emotion, the crease between the brows still reminding you of his anger, while the benign brown lit up the hope inside your soul.

"You what?" a whisper left his mouth, so low that you wouldn't be able to hear it if it wasn't dead silence in the library.

You didn't repeat yourself. You didn't even reply to him. You simply turned away and dashed out of the library.

xxxxx

When you woke up the next morning, all you could think about was that it was a full moon today.

You didn't think it would be a good idea to see Remus today, but you were worried about him. You wished to know how he was, where he was, and how he would endure this night. Would he have new scars the following day? Or a headache? Did he love you back?

So many questions and not enough answers.

James and Sirius were in the Quidditch practice, probably Remus and Peter as an audience. You had decided not to join them this time, trying to drown the chaos in your mind with homework instead. Or maybe you were too embarrassed to acknowledge Remus. 

Anyhow, one can only tolerate writing an essay to one point.

You slapped your book shut, groaning to yourself when you relived your last memory with Remus. Yesterday was the reason why you hated being angry; you would either cry or lose control of your mouth. And since you had bone both of them in one evening, you were planning on rotting in your room. However, your short span of attention was not helping. With every sentence you managed to put together, Remus's brown eyes would pop up in your mind. 

You glanced at the weather; grey clouds and chilly wind. Who would even want to be outside in this weather?

James (and maybe you).

You shook your head and decided that maybe rotting yourself until everyone would forget about your existence was not a good plan, as it was getting boring. Checking the time, you smiled because the Quidditch practice should be finished by now. Thus, you got up and left your dorm room. If only you could make it out of the common room without being seen by Remus. 

Sauntering down the stairs, you slowed your steps. Before revealing yourself, you checked the common room and saw James and Peter laughing. No Remus or Sirius. You wondered if Remus told them about your love confession. You hoped not.

Stopping into the room, you made your way to them, putting on a genuine smile. You tried to suppress the anxiety rising in your throat and reminded yourself that these boys were your friends.

"Look who's here," James narrowed his eyes at you. "The traitor."

"I missed only one practice, James."

"He and Sirius are way more dramatic today. James almost asked Evans to marry him this morning."

"Seems like a normal morning, Pete," you said, even though you couldn't help but chuckle. "Where's Sirius, though?"

"He went to see his brother. Said he'll be back in ten minutes or something."

You hummed at James, pushing your lips together.

"And Remus?"

"With Evans, I wager."

The familiar burn in your chest resurfaced. 

"I'll go find Sirius. See you guys later."

"You have a death wish, I see?"

You jumped at Sirius's voice. As opposed to what you said to James and Peter, you didn't go looking for Sirius. Instead, you were strolling around the castle yard. You liked how the frigid air sent shivers down your spine, it was refreshing. And you, without a doubt, needed refreshment.

"How'd you know?"

"You're walking around in nothing but your sweater?"

You smiled and shrugged, waiting for him to catch up to you. When he did, he removed his black leather and placed it on your shoulders. You caught the burn on his hand.

"What happened to your hand?"

Sirius glanced at his hand shortly and yanked it back into the pocket of his trousers.

"Ah. Nothing. Snape and I had a little duel just now."

"Sirius, this is getting out of hand. You need to stop."

"Yeah, don't worry. It's going to end tonight."

Your heart dropped. 

"What do you mean?"

He burst into laughter, worrying you more. 

"I'm going to scare the hell out of that prick, he'll never dare touch me again."

You attempted a smile, though you weren't sure it came out smooth.

"What do you mean?"

Sirius turned to you, patting your arm with his fist. "Don't worry about it. Tell me what made you take a walk in such weather."

Now you were both worried and uncomfortable. Embarrassment was burning your ears up, making you wish that the ground would split in two and swallow you whole. However, you decided to bury the worries and awkwardness. You deserved someone listening to you, after all, so you shared everything with him.

After a few gasps and woahs, you quietened while Sirius was contemplating what to say and how to say it.

"You haven't seen him since?"

You shook your head no.

"Well, he was grumpy this morning, but I don't think it's related to you."

Yet, you were certain that it was related to you. 

He was grumpy because he was angry at you. He was grumpy because he didn't return your feelings, and you made him uncomfortable by confessing them. He was grumpy because you just shattered your friendship. Or maybe he was grumpy because it was a full moon.

"I think he hates me now."

Sirius snorted at your declaration. "You're one hell of an overthinker, aren't you?"

When you didn't reply, he pushed you with his side softly, "Hey, come on, it's Moony we're talking about. He can never hate you."

"You can't possibly know that."

"Yes, I can. Remember in the third grade how he literally hated all of us for burning his paper?"

"I mean, he wasn't exactly wrong. We did destroy two weeks' work."

"Exactly. He rained hell upon us for a month. Well, most of us. He didn't touch you, and whenever we would ask him why, he would hit us before saying, 'It would hurt her feelings'."

You smiled at the thought of thirteen years old Remus coddling you.

"I didn't know that."

"You don't know why James changed his wand last year in the middle of the semester, either."

"I thought he broke it."

"Nah, Moony broke it."

Your eyebrows shot up in bewilderment, amusing Sirius. He nodded before resuming to talk.

 "James had a brilliant idea to cast a spell on you that would twist your tongue every time you talked. Remus wanted to waver him from it, but he was stubborn, that bastard. So before he could cast the spell, Remus broke his wand in our dorm and made it look like an accident to James."

Your smile grew wider, your eyes tearing up from intense emotions. Remus always knew about your anxiety, and he had always cared enough to help you through it. Whenever you would fidget with your fingers because you were about to give a big speech, he would put his hand on yours to calm them down. Whenever you would sweat because the professor was criticising you in front of the whole class, he would touch his knee to yours to let you know he was there. Whenever someone would make fun of you, he would be the first one to stand up for you.

"I didn't know he had it in him."

"Oh, he has a lot more in him when you are the matter," Sirius side-hugged you, letting you lean in. "You can ask him if you want."

You frowned, about to ask him what he meant but stopped in your tracks when your eyes sorted Remus from the other side of the yard. He was with Lily. Before you could ask Sirius to return to the castle, he yelled from the top of his lungs to make himself heard.

"Oi! Moony!"

"What are you doing?!" you whisper-shouted at Sirius, who was dragging you to Remus's side. 

"You can't avoid him forever."

As you got closer and closer to his side, your heart picked up the pace. You didn't feel ready to talk to him today. You were sure you wouldn't be ready tomorrow either.

Lily waved at you two when you made it to their side. You noticed the bags under Remus's eyes and his bouncing leg. You refused to lock your gaze, focusing on Lily's glorious smile. Still, you could feel his burning gaze piercing your heart.

You had tuned out their talking, alerting your mind only to Remus's presence. You didn't hear Lily's giggle or Sirius's mocking tone; you didn't even care what they were talking about.

You only cared that Remus was bouncing his leg, snapping his fingers and rubbing his temple.

You longed to put your hand on his leg to calm it down, hold his hand so that he would stop hurting them, and kiss his temple so maybe it would tender the ache.

Your heart was burning up in your chest, clenching in agony. The agony of being so close and yet so far away from him.

Every tune around you was muffled, slave to even a whisper from Remus, but he wasn't making a single sound.

You had lost count of how many heartbeats were beating in your chest, wasting time by beating away from Remus's heart.

Suddenly, they stopped.

"I have to go," said Remus.

His hoarse tone shattered everything into nothing.

He got up from Lily's side and walked back into the castle. You didn't follow him.

You missed his voice.

The weather was dark and still cold. You clung to Sirius's jacket more tightly. He hadn't asked for it back and said he would take it from you tomorrow.

You should return to the common room; it was neither safe nor clever to wander around at night. And you did. You turned around and started striding to the castle, only to flinch when you saw a figure exiting it.

It was hard for you to distinguish the person, so you followed him. You waited for the light of the full moon to reveal the silhouette's identity to you. You bit down your lip when you saw Severus Snape sauntering towards the Whomping Willow.

He must've lost his mind.

Your heart fastened with Severus's every step, dread of what was about to come sending tremors down your body. Your fingers itched in anticipation.

You hid behind a bush and watched him with terror. It was dark at night. It was a full moon. You were near the Whomping Willow.

Why did you even follow Snape?

When he finally crossed the safe proximity, the tree started moving. Your hand covered your mouth, your eyes unable to blink.

You waited for the tree to frantically shake and sway its branches. You waited for it to injure Severus or maybe even kill him.

But it didn't.

The moment it started to move an inch, it stopped. You thought maybe Snape had cast a spell; you could only see his back.

He slowly approached the tree, disappearing into a hole under it.

You rose to your feet and took a few steps towards the tree. You felt uncomfortably vulnerable at that moment, standing out in the open where you could get attacked by every side and wouldn't even be able to prevent it.

What if the tree starts moving when you're near?

Where did Snape go?

Should you even be here?

If there was only one question you knew the answer to, it was the last one.

You wanted to return to the castle and forget about all this in the morning. You truly did. However, you figured that there was no turning back when you heard a howl and a scream coming from the hole.

You jumped back with fear, oblivious to the yelp that left you.

Your first instinct was to run. Run away as fast as you could, without looking back, but something deep in your conscience didn't let you flee.

What if Snape was alone out there, and he needed help?

What if he was injured?

You cursed under your breath and took one more step towards the tree.

Your heart was pounding in your ear, competing with the sound of the howl down on the ground. You convinced yourself that it was the fear that made the howling sound closer than before.

One, two, three.

You exhaled sharply and started running to the hole.

You prayed that the tree wouldn't move.

Your legs made a stop before you could fathom what was happening.

More than one figure emerged from the ground, but your eyes only saw the big, ugly beast. Moonlight was glistening through its thick grey fur, displaying a horrendous sight. The tawny glow in its eyes was impossible to miss, as well as its tall and scrawny bone structure. The snarls from the beast were threatening to change into something more dangerous. 

Snape was screaming. You could swear you heard James, your name or maybe your own scream too.

However, your eyes never left the beast.

You had seen it in the pictures. You knew what it was.

A werewolf.

Remus.

And it was planning to attack Severus.

Your Remus.

You took out your wand, not even once looking away from the beast. Your mind was chasing every charm you've ever chanted, looking for the best one for the situation. 

The beast pounced on Snape with a growl.

Snape slumped into the ground. 

The beast towered over him, ready to attack. 

You aimed your wand at it, screaming the first thing that came to mind. 

"Petrificus Totalus!"

You had diverted the beast's attention, presenting an opportunity for James to save Snape.

"No, Y/N!" 

When James's cry tore your mind from the shock, you understood that you had made a mistake. 

Spells don't work on werewolves.

A gasp left your mouth when the werewolf directed its attention from Severus to you. You didn't see Snape fleeing or James carefully walking to you. All you could see was the icy light in its eyes glaring at you, sending sheer panic down your spine.

You hesitated to make any more sound, no matter how much you wanted to yell James's name for help. 

You didn't know how to fight werewolves, no one had ever taught you that. You didn't want to die, either.

The growl from the beast intensified, sending you enough signals that the inevitable was close. With your every step back, it was taking a step forward. 

No, no, no, no, no, no.

"Y/N RUN!

And you did. 

You ran until your lungs gave out, your legs crippled, and your heart burst.

You ran until your eyes watered from the chilly air, your nose hurt from the sharp breaths, and your ears echoed the beast's growls.

A branch cut just above your cheek, but you didn't stop.

 You ran until you lost control of your mind, giving it up to your body, performing purely under adrenalin.

But the beast ran with you, too. It followed you into the forest, howling and growling, letting you know death was close. Letting you know that the screams drowning in the night were in vain. Letting you know that the tears staining your face were in vain.

Your breaths mingled with your screams, your hair getting into your mouth. Sweat and tears melded into each other, burning up the cut on your face.

Before you could understand what had happened, your body hit the cold ground with a thud. Your eyes clenched shut, taking in pain vibrating through you. You felt the soil staining your face and body. Your weeping turned into a shriek when you felt yourself yanked into the dirt on your stomach.

Your eyes widened with fear when you finally fathomed the claw grabbing your ankle. It dragged you back, hoping to get the claws on your throat, too. Your fingers dug into the earth. You fought to free yourself from the beast. The jagged stones on the ground gashed your forearm. The dirt stung the gash. Your blood glistened under the moonlight. The beast howled. It turned you on your back.

Remus, Remus, Remus.

One last cry left you. The beast raised its claws, towering over you.

Remus.

You closed your eyes. The tears didn't stop.

Moony.

A high-pitched whine soared in the sky. You were sure it didn't come from you. Something hit your hip. You opened your eyes. 

A stag. 

A stag stroke the beast with its horns in the underbelly, tossing it away from you. The stag jumped over you, attacking the werewolf again. Animalistic voices ascended in the middle of the Forbidden Forest.

You crawled behind a large rock and took deep breaths. You knew you had to run. This was your opportunity to flee for your life, but you had exhausted your body. You needed time to recover.

The growls and whines never stopped. They got louder and quieter. Closer and farther. You didn't know.

You raised your head. The Moon was gleaming, casting light your way as if telling you to get going. You couldn't. Not now.

You lowered your head at your hands. They were filthy with dirt, the soil blackening the insides of your nails.Y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶f̶i̶n̶g̶e̶r̶s̶ ̶d̶u̶g̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶e̶a̶r̶t̶h̶. You moved your left arm, checking the backside of your forearm. T̶h̶e̶ ̶j̶a̶g̶g̶e̶d̶ ̶s̶t̶o̶n̶e̶s̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶g̶r̶o̶u̶n̶d̶ ̶g̶a̶s̶h̶e̶d̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶e̶a̶r̶m̶. You winced at the scar and the fresh blood around it. Y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶b̶l̶o̶o̶d̶ ̶g̶l̶i̶s̶t̶e̶n̶e̶d̶ ̶u̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶m̶o̶o̶n̶l̶i̶g̶h̶t̶.̶

Without warning, a sob left put your mouth, startling you. You pressed your uninjured hand on your lips, listening around. The voices had stopped. Neither the stag nor the beast was there. You were safe.

Your hands didn't leave your mouth, so terrified that if they did, you would make a noise and lure in the beast again. You knew your body was reacting to the shock and exhaustion, but you despised the tears flooding from your eyes. You needed to get it together and leave the Dark Forest. Albeit the beast was gone, the forest was still dangerous. 

You stood up with a groan, not lowering your wand for protection. Your clothes were spoiled, and you were hurting. You looked around to find a familiar way back to the castle.

"Y/N!"

You aimed your wand at the voice, your heart retaking the pace. The voice was familiar, but you were not in the right mind to identify it.

"It's me, hey. Lower your wand," James's gentle voice weakened your muscles, your hand shaking and breath hitching. Relief surged you from head to toe.

You didn't remember when you dropped your wand into the ground and threw yourself into James's warm embrace. You only remembered how he soothed you as you sobbed with exhaustion.

"You alright?" he put a hand on your shoulder and the other on your wrist to check you out after you pulled away from the hug. You nodded, feeling his gaze on your injured arm.

"Where were you?" You didn't recognise your own tone, rasp and brittle.

"Here. With you."

Something hit you in the gut. A realisation twinkled in your mind, finally comprehending the depth of 'Prongs'.

"You were the stag."

He smiled at you. "I knew you were a bright witch."

James Potter being an animagi wasn't the first priority for you tonight. 

"What happened to..." you couldn't let out the rest of the sentence. The beast. R̶e̶m̶u̶s̶

"I led it back to the Whomping Willow."

The next moments passed with silence, you two walking together to the castle and James subtly keeping his hand behind your back to make sure you were fine. You relived everything from the beginning, this time making sense of the incidents. You had so many questions and even more feelings gushing in you.

"I don't understand, James."

"Hmh?"

"Why was Snape there? Where were Sirius and Peter?"

You heard James clear his throat. His tone changed from gentle to furious in a moment.

"Sirius told Snape how to get into the Whomping Willow. That bastard thought it would be a good prank. He told me later because he had started to second-guess himself," he retorded, "Peter was also there, you just didn't see him. I sent him to make sure Severus gets into the castle safely."

No. 

You shook your head, not believing your ears. This couldn't be what Sirius meant by handling the Snape problem. You didn't want to believe it. Not because you were thinking too highly of Sirius but because you imagined how devastated Remus would be the next morning. You knew how much he trusted his friends.

"Remus..." you muttered under your breath, earning a hum from James that signalled him thinking the same thing. 

"Sirius will be in big trouble. I'm sure Snape had already run to Dumbledore."

You turned to James with widened eyes, he talked before you could panic. 

"Don't worry. He didn't see me as the stag or see Peter at all. That's why I was belated. I'm sorry I couldn't make it there sooner."

"Thank you for even making it there," you whispered, closing your eyes when the castle entered your sight. You avoided thinking about the possibility that James might not make it in time. What would happen then was something tragedic you never wanted to admit. "Will you see Remus tomorrow morning?"

James looked at you with such intense emotion that you thought he was pitying you.

"I will but–"

"I want to be there with you."

"No, Y/N, listen," he scratched his chin. You stared at him in question.

"I will have to explain everything to Remus tomorrow. And by that," he said, "I mean everything."

"James, I want to–"

"No. I don't want you to be there when I tell him how he almost killed you. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to be there either."

"But it's not his fault–"

"That's not what he's going to think in the morning. I'll talk to him alone. Don't insist."

This was the most serious you had ever seen James Potter. Thus, you knew he wasn't going to back down. So, you didn't insist.

By the time you were in the common room, your body had calmed down, now only exhibiting exhaustion symptoms. James hugged you one more time before sending you to your dorm room.

"Shower with warm water and go to bed. I'll be in the common room if you can't sleep."

You wanted to ask him why he didn't go to sleep, but you couldn't even part your lips. So you simply offered him a weak smile and headed straight to the bathroom. The girls in your room were already asleep, meaning you had to be extra careful not to wake them up.

You scoffed at your reflection in the bathroom mirror. Frantic hair, shrunk pupils, a cut on your cheek and dirt on your face. As if all these weren't enough, the gash on your arm was throbbing with pain, blood staining your sweater and maybe even Sirius's jacket too.

You stepped into the shower and let the warm water clean you thoroughly. You clenched your teeth to suppress the groan you wanted to let out of pain from your cuts. The black dirt left you as the water stroke down your body, helping you get this night out of your skin.

Your eyes were glued to the dirt getting washed away, harking back to how the beast hauled you onto the ground. Your skin still remembered the burn from the rough friction.

You couldn't close your eyes, you couldn't even blink. Every time you did, a pair of two glistening yellow eyes would stare at you, threatening to hunt you down if you kept your eyes closed a second more. If you thought about the beast a little bit more, you were sure you would have a panic attack.

So you let your mind wander around something else.

Brown locks, chocolate eyes and pink lips. 

Your lips curved when you recalled his soft voice, the way he called you dove. You warmed up, and not because of the water but because of the memory of how Remus gently stroked your hair. How he wiped away your tears. How he braided your hair perfectly after begging Peter to teach him. How he had always given you something hand-made on your birthdays because he couldn't buy anything.

You missed him. You missed the gentle smile he was always offering you. You missed your tender bickering and his teasing innuendoes.

You had missed your best friend, and no matter what would happen tomorrow, you were going to talk to him.

You couldn't sleep well that night. You even had a nightmare about what happened.

James was late in the dream; you died in the end.

So you stayed up all night, only being able to dive into sleep when the air was lightening up, turning into sapphire blue. At the same time of the day, Remus was turning back to his human self. You would chuckle at the irony if you weren't sleep deprived.

When you woke up, your heart was hammering in your chest. Your roommate was beside you, a glass of water in her hand. You felt sweat drops in your neck and temple; you must be having another nightmare, then.

She offered you the glass, which you gladly accepted. 

"Thank you," you said rather hoarsely. 

"It's almost five in the afternoon, hun."

You sat up in your bed, brushing your hair back with your hands. You had a terrible headache.

"It is?"

"Aye. You sure you're alright?"

"Yes, Lizzie, thank you," you smiled at her before leaving the bad. You were both grateful and uneasy that you had missed the most part of the day. This meant that Remus had already learned about the prank.

You eyed yourself in the bathroom mirror. You looked way better than yesterday night, undoubtedly. Your face had gained its colour back, and your frenzied eyes were glistening with something other than horror. The only flaws were the small cut on your face and the new eyebags.

You got ready and went down to the common room. Because it was Sunday today, the common room was crowded with students. 

Your eyes searched any of the Marauders but failed. They weren't here, and you were hungry. You made your way to the Great Hall, accompanied by nice growls from your stomach. Fortunately for you, it was dinner time.

You were too focused on the food before to find yourself a seat, so you didn't notice anyone approaching you. You flinched when a kind hand touched your arm.

"Y/N?"

"Oh, hiya Lily."

The red-haired girl smiled at you with emerald eyes. She pointed to a corner around the table with her finger. "Potter asked me to call you."

Your eyes found James, who looked as tired as you but still managed to put on a simpering smile. "Cheers," you said to Lily.

You sat next to him, stuffing your plate. Your stomach growled harder at sight.

"How are you feeling?" James asked, watching you nibble on a toast.

"Have been worse. You?"

"Have been worse."

You knew what you had to ask him, but you also knew you needed your appetite at the moment, or you would starve yourself. So you simply hummed and hastened to finish your meal.

You tried not to think about the two empty seats as you sipped your drink. James and Peter were having small talk, trying to lighten the mood. You didn't listen to that either.

You swallowed your last piece as slowly as possible, delaying the inevitable. James looked at you briefly, and you understood what it meant. He raised from his seat, having you follow him.

When you two found an abandoned corner, you turned to him, tuning out the racing of your heart.

"You didn't sleep, did you?" he pointed under your eyes with a nod of his head. You shook your head. 

"Did you talk to him?"

Unfamiliar gloom darkened James's features. "I did. Told him everything."

He glanced at you before averting his eyes away again. "He just listened. Thanked me in the end and said he wanted to be left alone."

Your heart clenched in pain. You didn't want him to be left alone. "Where is he?"

"Dunno. Didn't look for him."

"Where's Sirius?"

James stayed silent for a few seconds. "Dunno, either. We had a fight, but my guess is somewhere in the forest in his animagi form."

You didn't dwell on it any further. You loved Sirius, but you loved Remus more than anyone. Albeit you weren't furious at him, you still didn't plan on seeing him any sooner. 

"I need to talk to Remus, James."

"I truly don't know where he is."

You had to find him. You had to find him and tell him that it wasn't his fault. 

You nodded at James, mumbling a quick bye before wandering around the castle, trying to figure out where he could be.

He wouldn't go to the library. It would be an easy guess for anyone trying to find him.

James said Sirius would be outside of the castle. You were sure Remus wouldn't risk encountering him.

That left you two or three places that you knew Remus would run whenever he wanted to avoid people. So you got going.

You didn't find him at Room of Requirement or Hospital Tower. You cursed the school for being this large in area. It took you almost an hour to get from one side of the castle to another. Fortunately, you were sure Remus was on the Astronomy Tower.

As you got closer and closer to the tower, anticipation chased your heartbeats high, your hands fidgeting with their fingers. You took a moment to regulate your breathing, which had no effect on your pacing heart.

Without wasting one more moment, you entered the tower.

There he was, sitting on the ground, his head low between his hands. Around him was cold and dark, gleaming with the light from the Moon and stars. Your heart ached at the sight of him. You stepped forward, letting the sound of your footsteps alert him. He didn't acknowledge you, but you were sure he had heard you. Heartbreak burned through you, maiming you because of the distance between you two.

Your steps stopped next to him. He still hadn't looked up to you but hadn't asked you to go away either. So you sat next to him, raising your head to gaze at the stars while his head was low between his hands.

"The stars are beautiful, Remus."

He didn't budge. He didn't even move. You peeked at his chocolate-brown hair, suppressing the urge to mess with them.

"Your hair looks nice today."

Silence. You didn't know if he was ignoring you or simply ignoring everyone, and it wasn't something about you.

"Doesn't your neck hurt?"

"No."

You gulped when his voice echoed in the air. 

"It must hurt if you've been keeping it like that for a long time."

"It doesn't."

"Liar."

Silence again. You yearned for his voice once more.

"You can put your head on my shoulder, Remus."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Go away, dove."

His voice was fragile and pleading. It broke your heart, shattered it into million little pieces. A lump made its way to your throat. 

"Why?" you asked, a voice as broken as your heart. "I don't want to go away."

"But I want you to," he loosened his fingers from his hair, dropping them to his lap.

You turned to him. "Don't push me away, Remus."

You reached for his hand, but he gently pulled them away. "Remus, please."

He shook his head, still not looking at you. 

"I need to know why you don't want me here."

He left your side, ambling to the parapet of the tower and leaning to it. You stared at his back in disbelief.

"Remus-"

"Go away, Y/N."

"You won't even look at my face when you kick me out."

Finally, he snapped his head and locked eyes with you. His eyes looked tired, blazing into yours. He had a new scar under his lower lip, from James's horns, probably.

"Go away."

You stood up, frowning in annoyance. "No, I'm not going anywhere," you took stern steps in his direction and closed the disturbing distance. "We need to talk, Remus."

You adored his amber eyes despite your annoyance. You loved to dive into its depth and get lost, sorting out every colour one by one.

He stayed where he was, but you detected his eyes lowering from your eyes. He stared at the cut above your cheek, clenching his jaw.

You unconsciously turned away and hid it from Remus. Memories flooded in a blink and raised the panic inside you. You could still feel the wind hitting your face and the sting from the branch that cut your skin as you fled for your life from the beast.

"It's nothing," you uttered.

Remus scoffed at your face. You saw his eyes change into something harsh and his brows furrow.

"Yeah, sure. The cut in your arm is also nothing."

You didn't ask how he knew that. After all, James did tell you that he would let Remus know everything.

"It'll heal."

"And why is it there in the first place?"

Remus took a step forward when you didn't answer.

What were you supposed to say? Because his wolf form chased you down, and you got injured trying to flee?

"I'll tell you why," he said, voice raised. "Because I hunted you down, tossed you to the ground, and yanked you around. I only did it so I could kill you."

"No–"

"Is that what you wanted to talk about? How I'm a bloodthirsty monster whose first instinct is to kill?"

"You weren't yourself."

"What would happen if James wasn't there?"

You pushed your lips together and closed your eyes. This was the last thing you wanted to talk about.

"No, open your eyes," he raised your head by your chin, forcing you to look him in the eye. "Tell me what would've happened if James wasn't there."

You blinked away the tears that were threatening to invade your vision. Remus made you relive the same nightmare you had that night over and over again.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I need you to understand! I need you to understand that I'm not someone you can fucking love!"

You startled in your place, both by his anger and claim. Something had burst into flames inside you now that he had finally acknowledged your feelings.

You opened your mouth to quarrel, to tell him he's wrong, and that you loved him more than anyone or anything in the world. But he didn't let you interrupt him.

"You think I haven't thought about what you said in the last two days? You haven't left my mind for even a bloody second!" his tone was raised but broken.

"You were the one pushing me away!"

"Because I wanted to keep you away from all this shit! I wanted you to see me as something other than a cursed boy. Why do you think I never shared that secret with you?!"

"That secret is part of your story, Remus. If you thought that I wouldn't love you with it, you must've been out of your mind."

You didn't think he understood the depth of your love for him, and you needed him to understand. It didn't even matter if your feelings were not returned.

He shook his head no.

"No one, Y/N, no one loves a monster like me."

"I do," you pleaded.

Words weren't enough to convince him or express your love for him, but you were trying.

He took your arm in his hand and pulled the left sleeve of your sweater up, revealing the gash. You tried to pull your arm back, but he overpowered you, tightening the hold on your arm. You grimaced when his fingers pushed on the scar.

"This is what happens when you love someone like me."

You used your whole strength and tugged your arm back. You marvelled at your tone when you spoke.

"Stop it! You weren't yourself, Remus!"

"How does that even change anything?!" he screamed, his voice breaking and his eyes tearing up. "Don't you understand? I am a danger to you!

"Remus–"

"You think this is easy for me?! I have fucking lost my mind these last two days because you were the only one in it! My brain wouldn't think of any name other than yours! My heart wouldn't beat for any name other than yours! And when I am finally ready to tell you that I love you, too, James comes and tells me that I almost fucking killed you!"

His eyes were blood red, and the veins in his neck had popped up. Tears left his red eyes and paved the way down from his jawline to his neck.

Remus was crying.

It was a sight you had never got used in the last five years.

Your mind refused to work, denying to comprehend the words that left his mouth. It was all too much, and all in one moment.

"You love me, too?'

You didn't recognise your own voice, probably because all you could hear was Remus's confession. You expected your heart to race this time also, but instead, it was dead silent. Or maybe you were just too focused on Remus's eyes.

His tears never stopped, and he never tried to stop them.

He was breaking down at last.

You walked up to him and closed whatever distance was left. You looked up into his eyes as he lowered them to you.

"But you didn't kill me," you whispered, bringing your hand to his cheek. He closed his eyes, raining more tears on your hand. You gently wiped them away.

"I'm here, Remus. I'm here, and I'm telling you that I love you. I don't love you despite your curse, I love you with it."

Remus scrunched up his face, letting out a sob before sinking his head down your shoulder. You felt his tears on your neck.

At that moment, you knew no words would ever soothe the storm in his heart.

So you held him as he bawled like a child.

His crying sent daggers to your heart, ripping it open.

You begged for his pain to become yours so that he would never hurt the way he was hurting now.

You didn't know how many minutes past. All you knew was Remus's sobs and whimpers hurt you like nothing else ever did.

You didn't let go when the heavy sobs turned into heavy sighs or when the tear-fall in your neck turned into warm breaths.

You caressed his hair and kissed his neck when he calmed down. When he talked, it was gritty and low.

"I'm a monster, dove. A monster that will tear you to pieces if you get near."

"I love you," you whispered. You felt him let a short, breathy scoff to the crook of your neck.

"I attacked Snape last night like a beast."

"I love you."

"I almost killed you."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

You shut your eyes, breaking your face into a tiny smile. Four words, one sentence, and his lips close to your neck was all you needed for revival.

Remus inched away from your neck, lingering his lips next to your wound. The red in his eyes hadn't worn off, but the brown of his eyes was blazing with affection.

You drew a sharp breath when he kissed above your cheek.

He caressed the nick lengthwise with tender pecks. His hand grazed your other cheek while the other one made its way to your waist.

You held your breath when he lowered his lips, hovering them above your lips. His hot breath tingled your face, you fought the urge to close your eyes.

He whispered your name, and that's when you gave in. You closed your eyes and unknowingly parted your lips.

One second lasted one year. 

Something flamed up down in your chest when you felt Remus's soft lips on yours. He kissed your lips gentle and soft, but short. Pulling back, he stared into your eyes, chestnut brown darkening with every second.

"I love you," he whispered.

Within a blink, his lips crashed into your lips again, this time more intense, more passionate, taking away the air in your lungs. You melted to his touch, letting his lips savour yours while his hand on your waist tugged you closer. Your breaths mingled together, leaving your heart fluttering in your ribcage.

If time had stopped and trapped you at this moment, you wouldn't complain.

You craved his scent on your soul, his touch on your body and his lips on your lips. But most importantly, you were more than glad to be buried in his love.

He pulled away and smiled at the way you filled your lung with air. You felt his thumb caress your face.

"There's no getting rid of me, now, dove." 

His smile was tired, his eyes still carrying the heartbreak of yesterday. You knew he was still a broken boy inside, but you loved him anyway.

Thank you for reading. Let me know what you think!

if you enjoyed my writing and this fic, please, buy me a cofee <33

james potter is THE boyfriend and you can’t convince me otherwise 💗😽

James Potter Drabbles

✩ = 18+, mdni

James apologizes to hufflepuff!you after a prank gone wrong

Roommate!James takes care of you when you're sick

You have a complicated relationship with touch, and James loves you just the same

James protects you from the cold

James x you when you're uncomfortable around drunk people

You inadvertently torment bestfriend!James with your hotness

You introduce James to nipple piercings (he's a fan)

Touchy bestfriend!James is obsessed with your boobs

James is beyond proud when you pass your big test

You're anxious and PMSing, and James is The Best

You both misplace your glasses

Hockey player!James experiences love at first sight with figure skater!reader

Your muscley boyfriend James gives you the hug of the year

You wash James' hair after a long day

James gets a lesson on waxing moon rituals from whimsical!reader

James knows you're not so innocent

You give James flowers

Roommate!James is way too nice to you when you come home drunk

You and James are both very fit and achey (massages help)

James doesn't care about your acne

James is (lovingly) worried when whimsical!reader brings home a friend

James loves your nose

James is lovestruck for whimsical!reader

James gets into a slight tizzy when you scrape your knee

James comforts you when you worry you're a not a good person

James helps when you have a nosebleed

James is obsessed with plus size!reader

You help bodyguard!James in his time of need

James is smitten with you, Sirius' sister

You accessorize James' bicep

James is drunk and staunchly loyal

fireman!James rescues you from an elevator

James loves to tease ✩

Giggly sex with James ✩

professor’s favorite girl (r.a.b.)

Everyone knew you were a good student, so it normally didn’t come as a surprise why you got the highest marks in Defense Against the Dark Arts with the infamous Regulus Black as your professor. They truly didn’t expect what seemed like a cruel professor to have taken some sort of… liking to a pretty Hufflepuff. Holy shit, this is 3.3K words- (beware, ‘dark’-er fic!)

The first day you came into class, Regulus noticed that your skirt was tailored. And since then, he has noticed everything about you.

When you started wearing makeup to his class.

When you started doing your hair, and when boys started to realize how attractive you were.

Regulus didn’t think he could comprehend why some boys didn’t notice how attractive you were, it was something he noticed when you continued to take his class when you didn’t have to. As much as he knew your reasoning was true, that you really did love his class and excel in it, he couldn’t help but hope some part of it was because of him.

And he would quickly smash it whenever that possibility of hope came up again. He couldn’t entertain this, he shouldn’t.

Still, as you walked into his class a little later than normal, he couldn’t help but pause his lecture. You looked… different today, but he couldn’t place how.

“I’m sorry, Professor Black,” you said as you sat down in the seat right in front of his desk, a slight smile on your face before he noticed the bruise on your cheek. “Quidditch practice ran late.”

Oh, he was going to kill whoever gave you that bruise.

“Why do you play on a team that never wins?” Regulus’ response was slightly bitter, but it was mainly because you showed up hurt.

You giggled slightly, shaking your head. “Because it’s fun, Professor Black.”

“Did you go to the infirmary?” Regulus lifted the sleeves of his button down as he stepped out from behind his desk.

“No, Professor, I was already late,” you explained, shaking your head. “I’ll be okay.”

“Go to the infirmary,” his words left no room for discussion, his head jerking to the door. “Get checked out. I’ll catch you up later.”

He spoke as though you didn’t come to his class during lunch just to talk about the further actions of Defense Against the Dark Arts, and get ahead in the curriculum that he made specifically for you because you were so ahead. He specifically looked into the subjects you were interested in and built a curriculum around it, before educating himself more and giving it to you.

“I’ll be okay, Professor-”

“Go to the infirmary, Y/N,” he said again, turning his back to you as he grabbed his wand. “We will only be dueling with the spells we learned last class, and you’re ahead. If there’s anything new, I will catch you up.”

You sighed, setting down your stuff as you stood. “Yes, Professor.”

Originally, Regulus had a lesson planned for today, but he wouldn’t be able to focus with the thought of you in the infirmary. You weren’t even hurt bad, just a small and plain injury from a sport you did for fun, but he couldn’t focus.

So instead he sat down behind his desk, glaring at everyone as he tried to think about how you got that bruise. Even though you were a Seeker, normally, you were quick enough to get out of the tight spots you were normally put in — he guessed that this time, you weren’t quick enough.

Oh, his poor girl.

Regulus partnered up random students, his mind still on you as he stared a hole into his desk. Your pretty face didn’t look good with a bruise blooming on your cheek, the only bruises he would ever want on your body were the ones that he made. The thought of him gripping your thighs so tight that he left hand shaped bruises, or bruises made from how hard he would kiss your body or your lips – the only markings that should ever be on your skin should be his.

“Professor Black?”

Your voice made him look up, the sounds of spells being casted quickly being drowned out as you smiled at him.

The bruise was gone from your cheek as you gave him a slight wave. “I-I just wanted to say thank you. For worrying about me, I-I probably would not have gone to the infirmary… thank you, again. Besides, I’m all healed now!”

Your giggle made him smile slightly. “I didn’t think you were going to go,” Regulus spoke, tilting his head. “Normally you’re such a headstrong girl.”

His words make you shrug slightly. “Maybe it’s because I knew I needed to go.”

“Well you were a good girl and listened,” he hummed, tilting his head slightly. “Why don’t you sit and rest? I’m sure practice was exhausting.”

You quickly shook your head. “Oh no, professor, that wouldn’t be fair-”

Regulus laughed, shaking his head. “Oh, my darling girl, you should know not to argue with me,” a smile is left on his face when he saw the slight flush in your cheeks. “Go sit down. Rest.”

You swallowed, nodding. “Yes, Professor.”

He watched you walk away, your robe hiding the expanse of your thighs from behind before you turned around and sat in your chair, smiling.

When class ended, you stayed after as everyone left, sighing softly as you stood up and walked over. “Professor Black, can I ask you a question?”

Regulus nodded, slowly standing up and offering his hand. “Yes, of course. Let’s move into my office.”

Oh, he shouldn’t have said that.

“Yes, Professor,” you smiled so simply, perfectly innocent – was it real? Were you truly innocent?

If you were, Regulus wanted to destroy it – he wanted to corrupt you. He wanted to break you down and build you back up, with your entire structure dependent on him. If the Defense Against Dark Arts position truly was cursed, you were his curse.

He moved behind you to follow you into his office, closing the door and slowly locking it. He wasn’t even sure what came over him when he did so.

“I have a question on one of the books you assigned for our advanced curriculum,” you said, your face slightly scrunched in concentration. “Do you mind if I take off my robe?”

Regulus quickly shook his head, almost too quick. “Of course not.”

You smiled again as you sat down after slipping your robe off onto the chair, Regulus standing against the desk and leaning back with his arms crossed over his chest. He looked absolutely picturesque, his dark curls framing his face and his gray eyes piercing down at you.

“What about them?”

“One of the books,” you said, crossing one leg over the other with a slight sigh, completely ignorant to the slight lift of your skirt to show off more of your plush thighs. “The one about using protection spells from your own emotions. I am truly sorry if this is out of turn, but one of the spells stemmed from the emotion of lust, and I don’t understand how it would… do that.”

Regulus paused. Were you really that stupid? He didn’t even mean to do that, you did that yourself.

“Are you being serious?” Regulus was holding back a smirk, covering his mouth with his large, scarred hand.

Your face relaxed slightly, eyes wide as you tilted your head slightly. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, you stupid girl,” he said with a laugh, your face displaying deep offense with your wide mouth and eyebrows raised. Your face stayed like that until his hand pulled away from his face and he softly stroked your hair down to your cheek, your face relaxing as you stared up at him. Your eyes were so wide and innocent, were they always like that? “Have you ever felt lust before?”

Your eyes trailed up as you thought, your thighs squeezing together. “No-”

“Oh, I don’t like girls who lie,” he said, his hand pulling away from your face and slowly ghosting your form to settle on the exposed skin of your sigh. “I noticed you squeezing your thighs together… be a good girl and tell me what makes you lustful.”

You swallowed, your hands shaking as you inhaled deeply. “I-I can’t…”

His eyebrow raised. “You can’t?”

Your head shook as you swallowed, your hand softly wrapping around his wrist. “N-No… I can’t, it’s wrong,” you whisper, continuing to shake your head before Regulus twists his hand out of your grip and spreads his entire hand onto the expanse of your thigh. “Professor Black-”

“Hush, my darling girl,” he whispered, slowly bending down to be eye level with you as he rubbed your thigh. “Are you going to tell me or do I need to try my hand at casting without my wand?”

You inhaled shakily as his fingertips slowly drift under the hem of your tailored skirt, swallowing. “N-No… I-I will tell you… I-I have thoughts about you, bad thoughts,” you whisper, shaking your head. “V-Very bad thoughts…”

Regulus smiled, both of his hands holding each opposite side of your thighs as his face gets closer to yours. “What kind of thoughts?”

Your cheeks start to heat up, eyes burning as tears prick your eyes. “Pr-Professor Black-”

He laughed when he saw tears pricking your eyes, tilting his head. “Are you going to cry? What a pathetic girl,” he bit his lip, nose brushing to yours. “Why are you crying?”

You swallowed, shaking your head. “B-Because… m-my stomach is twisting really bad…”

He hummed, tilting his head. “Do you want me to check you out, my pathetic girl?”

Your hips started to squirm as you unconsciously nodded, his face ducking down to your ear.

“Get on the desk. I’ll show you what lust feels like.”

He knew the feeling of lust very well. It would churn in his stomach every time you walked into his class, and the heat would rush down to his cock when you opened your mouth to only say a few words.

And just like that, the lust started to pulsate again as you rose onto the desk, your pretty tailored skirt being hiked up on your thighs as you placed your feet on the edges of his desk, spreading your thighs widely for him.

Regulus stepped forward, his fingers starting to slip your buttons undone, revealing your lacy white bra that blended in under the white button down.

Fuck, you were so hot.

His hands settled on your thighs again as he slotted himself between your legs, clenching his fingers on your plush skin to try and prevent the slight tremors of all the lust coursing through his body. Regulus wondered if you felt the lust like he did, but he didn’t have to wonder for long when he saw the wet patch on your lacy panties that seemed to match your bra.

“Oh, my sweet girl correlates,” he groaned, his fingers slowly swiping over the wet spot, a smile developing on his face when your thighs jolted to try and tighten around his waist. “How pretty…”

You were unsure of what was going through your body. Your stomach was twisting much like it did when you would get turned on by what you would think about him doing to you before slipping your fingers into yourself in your prefect dorm and moaning into your pillow like you did last night. This feeling though, this was different.

It was like your core was pulsating, your walls clamping around nothing as he slipped your panties to the side, your entrance fluttering as his finger trailed over your entrance. A whine escapes your lips as he did so, your hips bucking as he smirked down at your cunt, only pulling his hand away to stick his fingers in his mouth.

You gaped as you watched him lather his fingers in his spit, and you certainly didn’t expect him to shove his fingers down your throat soon afterward. Your hips bucked uncontrollably, a loud moan falling from your lips before gagging around his fingers.

“Relax your throat, my darling girl,” he coos to you, leaning down to kiss against your temple. Oh, his lips quivered against your skin as he watched you gag and choke on his fingers, your saliva running down his knuckles before he pulled his fingers away. You let out soft coughs as his fingers slowly circled the sensitive bundle of nerves, whining loudly as he pushed his fingers through the ring, your walls clamping down on his fingers.

At first, he was slow, just like how you would begin to finger yourself. But then, he noticed how relaxed you were, and how it took him very little effort to actually stretch you out.

Still, he watched your reactions, your mouth wide as you moaned loudly, your arms raising to wrap around his neck to support yourself. “Pr-Professor!”

He groaned, smiling as you moaned. “Mmmm, my darling girl… you’re not very tight, is there a reason for that?”

He wasn’t complaining, this just meant he could fuck you faster – but he wanted to hear you say what you were doing.

“N-No,” you whimpered, lying through your teeth before he pushed his fingers farther into you. Unlike you, he knew what he was doing. He was flexing and twisting his fingers, parting them and scissoring into you as your tears started to run down your cheeks, a soft sob escaping your mouth as he pushed his finger deeper. “Professor!”

“What did I say earlier?” His fingers got rougher, a soft almost growl-like noise escaping his mouth. “I don’t like liars, you fucking brat.”

You yelped as his fingers got rougher, sobbing as you shook your head. “W-Wait, it’s too much! Pr-Professor, please! Stop, stop!”

It didn’t hurt, no – it truly was too much. You felt your stomach twisting, an unknown feeling settling at the pit of your tummy as his fingers twisted to press his thumb to your clit, roughly rubbing the sensitive bundle of nerves.

“No, I only listen to good girls. You’re not a good girl, fucking lying to me,” he snapped, his fingers getting rougher as he watched your thighs shake and hips rut desperately. “Tell me the truth or you’re not going to cum. Tell me!”

“I-I touched myself!” You sobbed as his fingers got faster, his index and middle finger pumping in and out of you as his thumb pushed rough circles into your clit. “I touched myself last night, I’m sorry, I’m sorry Professor!”

He groaned as he watched his fingers push and pull out of you, pumping as his lips ghosted yours. He hadn’t even kissed you yet, and he desperately wanted to. “You should be. Cum, fucking cum, my desperate little slut,”

You sobbed, shaking your head as you dug your fingers into the back of his perfectly ironed black button down. “W-Wait, Professor! It’s weird, it feels weird,” you hiccuped against his mouth as he softly kissed your lips, smiling. “Professor!”

“Oh, my perfect girl, are you going to squirt? Come on, I want to see it.”

You choked as you threw your head back, screaming out as your vision blurred, his fingers pushing as deep as he could get them inside of you, pressure never relieving from your clit.

Regulus just watched as you squirted onto his slacks, the liquid getting all over him as he laughed at how your hips rutted and your thighs convulsed uncontrollably. He continues to finger fuck you as you squirt, rubbing at your clit as you squirmed, sobbing as you bounced against his fingers, pleasure overwhelming your body.

“Are you going to cum again? Come on, do it. My perfect fucking slut, cumming back to back,” he grinned, biting at his lip as you felt your stomach twist again, tightening as you came again on his finger. “Oh fuck, my darling girl...”

You sobbed as he pulled his fingers out of you, his skin pruned from how wet you were, and his entire black sleeve soaked in whatever liquid came out of you. Soft sobs continued to escape your lips, hiccuping as he softly puckered his lips to yours.

“You’re such a good girl… you’re such a perfectly good girl for me,” he whispers, licking his fingers as your lips ghost his cheeks, desperately bucking your hips into the air as he took out his cock. “You ready, my perfect girl?”

You hiccuped, nodding as you stared at him while he pumped himself, his cock not exactly thick but making up for it in length – as well as the fact that it was basically picturesque, perfectly groomed with dribbles of precum sliding down the bottom of his shaft.

“I need words, my darling girl,” he whispered, delicately kissing your lips. You chased his mouth, fingers shaking as you held his shoulders. “Tell me you’re ready.”

“I-I’m ready,” you whisper, nodding mindlessly. “I-I’m ready, I’m ready to be a g-good slut for you.”

Your use of slut made him smile. You would be a good slut for him, and this truly was the beginning of his corruption.

So, with a strong snap of his hips, he pushed into you – a loud wail leaving your mouth as you sobbed. He didn’t waste any time, he couldn’t as he kissed you firmly, swallowing all of your noises as he pushed you back so you could tilt your head, turning the kiss wet and sloppy as you tried to swallow his saliva.

His thumb still didn’t pull away from your clit, but the circular motion wasn’t too much as you choked softly, trying to control all of your noises as he fucked into you. The slight curve his cock pushed into areas that you had never felt pressure in before, the feeling making your stomach twist into knots again as you whined.

“G-Gonna… gonna cum,” you whined, your words jumbled as you spoke, a smile developing on his lips as he pulled away.

“Cum then,” you didn’t need his permission this time. He had always been so desperate to feel you that it was a struggle not to cum into you there and then, but he knew that when you came, your plush walls clamping down on him would push him over the edge. “Cum my favorite fucking girl.”

You sobbed again, nodding your head as you leaned up, wrapping your arms and legs around him and cradling onto his body, groaning. “Regulus!”

Oh, he thought your walls clamping down on him would push him over the edge – no, it was you moaning his name.

His strong thrusts uncontrollably got rougher, a loud groan falling from his lips as he fucked into you even harder, another loud groan following the first as he finally came inside of you. Your eyes crossed as you threw your head back, a silent scream escaping your mouth as he continued to fuck the two of you through your highs.

As he came down, he slowed his movements – still not stopping – as he kissed you again. “I think you should stay after class more.”

You nodded, desperate to continue this. You truly were your professor’s favorite girl.

I do not ever give consent to my work being published on other platforms or being translated at any point, even if it is a request. If my work is on any other platform, it’s without my permission. Your media consumption is not my responsibility.

© asterias-record-shop

REMUS/JAMES/REGULUS 🧎🧎🧎 my life is fr yours. im so down to hear whatever hcs you have, i swear there’s noooo content of those 3 💔

Can’t believe I haven’t written about them before but okay:

- their house is small but v cute, they have it decorated with plants and book shelves and so many photos Remus has taken over the years

- James loves hosting parties and dinners and holidays so their house is the ‘get together’ house

- regulus has a little office space in the spare room to read and write, but James and Remus bought a sofa to put in it so they can nap when he’s working

- they have a cat and a dog that grew up together called Ben and Jerry (James’ doing)

- Remus is the quietest non-confrontational one and James and Reg bicker a lot so they often go to him for comfort before making up

- they all have one specific tv show or anime that they only watch together (it’s currently MHA xoxo)

- James and Remus’ parents come over pretty often and reg can get emotional about it but they treat him so nicely and they’re very patient with him when he needs time alone

- James cooks dinner, Remus bakes sweet treats and reg just sits on the counter and looks pretty whilst handing them things they need

- James is a switch/verse, Remus is a verse sub and reg is a dom bottom

- they had to get a massive bed to fit them all in because Remus and James are both 6’1” and Remus is lanky

- regulus steals their clothes 24/7

- Sirius and Peter come over almost daily to hang out (reg can’t seem to get rid of them)

- James is a little spoon, reg is in the middle and Remus is big spoon

𝘛𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘱

𝖲𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒: 𝖶𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾-𝗍𝗎𝗋𝗇𝖾𝗋 𝖻𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗄𝗌, 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿 𝖺𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝟨𝗍𝗁 𝗒𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝗈𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝖺𝗀𝖺𝗂𝗇. 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝗈𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝖽𝗂𝖿𝖿𝖾𝗋𝖾𝗇𝖼𝖾? 𝖨𝗍’𝗌 𝟣𝟫𝟩𝟨. 𝖲𝗍𝗎𝖼𝗄 𝗂𝗇 𝖺 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽𝗇’𝗍 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇 𝖻𝖾 𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝗂𝗇, 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖽𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝗅𝖾𝗇𝖽 𝗂𝗇, 𝖺𝗇𝗑𝗂𝗈𝗎𝗌𝗅𝗒 𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗂𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝖾𝖾 𝗂𝖿 𝖣𝗎𝗆𝖻𝗅𝖾𝖽𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝗁𝖾𝗅𝗉 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗀𝖾𝗍 𝗁𝗈𝗆𝖾. 𝖳𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗀𝗈𝖾𝗌 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗇𝖽𝗈𝗐 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖼𝖺𝗍𝖼𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖾𝗒𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝖺 𝖼𝖾𝗋𝗍𝖺𝗂𝗇 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗉𝖾𝖼𝗍𝖺𝖼𝗅𝖾𝖽 𝖻𝗈𝗒. 𝖠𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗆𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗉𝖾𝗇𝖽 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗁𝗂𝗆, 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝗋𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗂𝗍 𝗀𝖾𝗍𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗐𝖺𝗅𝗄 𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗒. 𝖡𝗎𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗍𝗈…𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍?

Part One wc:5.5k

Part Two wc:5.3k

Part Three wc:5k

Part Four wc:5.5k

Part Five wc: 5.1k

Part Six wc: 6.1k

Part Seven wc: 7.2k

Part Eight wc: 5.6k

Part Nine wc: 6.9k

Part Ten wc: 6.1k (you stay)

Part Ten wc: 6.3k (you leave)

Soundtrack🎶

more marauders song comparisons yay!!

today I bring to you Anything by Adrianne Lenker.

"I don't want to be the owner of your fantasy, I just want to be a part of your family"

but the black brothers!!!

"I don't want to be the owner of your fantasy." When Sirius runs away to the Potters, he asks Regulus to go with him. In his ideal world, he can run away, leave behind the noble house of black and be with both his brother (james) and the parents he wished he had, but also bring his other brother (Regulus) with him. Make his own life and bring anyone he wants with him, whether they're willing or not.

"I just want to be a part of your family." Regulus wishing he was enough to make Sirius stay. That he could be enough for him, and that he didn't need to want more because he had his little brother, and that was enough.

Regulus doesn't want to just be part of some ideal world Sirius has made up, he wants to be enough for Sirius as he is.

He doesn't leave with him.

ok so i was looking through the links 🫣 and was wondering if you'd write something for "taking them both" that you put for rosekiller SKJDJDHDJD

glad you’re enjoying the links🤭🤭 and yes of course! (based off of this link) i hope u like this🫶🏻

warnings: threesome, throatfucking, degrading, rough sex, slapping use of “slut”, “whore”, “cumslut”, and “fuck-toy”

masterlist

barty thrusts into you from behind, running a hand over the bare swell of your ass. he kneads the soft flesh with his hand, so hard you’re sure it’ll leave a mark. you moan around evan’s cock, shoved so far down your throat you can barely think, let alone breathe.

you slide your mouth upwards to give yourself some air, leaving one hand to play with his balls to keep him occupied. the other is resting on his pubic bone, lazily playing with his curly hairs. evan taps your cheek. “take it again, slut.”

you obey, though you hardly have a choice as he roughly shoves your head back down. the two boys are on opposite ends of your body, but they’re both so deep you bet they can probably feel each other inside.

barty sticks a finger up your asshole, spreading a third hole of yours open. you whimper on evan’s cock, drool dripping down his shaft. barty hears you and laughs, slapping your ass cheek before adding another finger.

you feel like you’re being split open from three separate areas all at once.

evan grunts. “such a fucking whore, taking us both at once.”

his words cause your pussy to throb, and you can feel yourself leaking against barty’s dick. he twitches inside of you at the feeling.

“she’s just a little cumslut, a fuck-toy for us to use as we please,” barty chimes in, thrusting into you again, and again, and again.

“you should see her face,” evan says, nodding over at him while you softly squeeze his balls. “fucking crying, the little slut.”

barty laughs cruelly, forcing another finger into your tight little asshole.

tears drip down your face as you gag around evan’s huge cock, mixing with your saliva, his pre-cum, and both of your’s sweat. you slow your pace on his dick for a moment, trying to blink the mascara-filled tears away, and he slaps you sharply across the face. you feel the sting, knowing your cheek is bright red, and resume a quickened pace.

evan throws back his head, eyes fluttering shut. he reaches down with one hand and traces his finger around your swollen nipple. “oh, that’s good. just like that,” he pinches your nipple now, his free hand grabbing your exposed breast. “you little whore. such a dirty fucking slut, sucking me off while barty fucks you,” he continues muttering profanities as his cock jerks around inside your throat, pulling out to release thick ropes of cum across your face. you close your eyes as he paints you with his babies, licking your lips to get a taste.

evan continues playing with your tits as barty finishes inside of you, painting your insides white to match your fucked-out face.

oh my goodness, this was amazing! (i’m sobbing)

I am not writing this because I could not mentally take it but...

Imagine… being an Obscurus and best friends with Barty Crouch Jr.

You were eight years old when you met him.

A Muggle girl, too loud, too wild, too alive- a stark contrast to the quiet, polite boy with a sharp mind and a father that loomed over him like a shadow.

But with you? He wasn’t a Crouch. He was just Barty.

You built forts out of logs, ran barefoot through the pond, and shared a locket- two halves of a whole, a symbol of forever.

Imagine… falling sick the moment he turned eleven.

It started with headaches. Then nosebleeds. Then days where your limbs felt too heavy to move.

Barty didn’t understand. No one did.

One day, you were climbing trees and stealing sweets from the corner shop.

The next, you were shaking, feverish, slipping through his fingers.

And then- he left.

Hogwarts. Magic. A world you couldn’t follow him into.

He promised to write every day.

He did.

But no letter could stop the way your bones ached or the way the shadows in your room whispered.

Imagine… Barty researching Obscurials.

He was fourteen when he figured it out.

When he read about children who grew sick and died because they suppressed their magic.

Except- you weren’t suppressing it.

You never had magic to begin with.

But somehow, it was still killing you.

Imagine… Barty growing more desperate.

He tore through the Hogwarts library like a man possessed.

Potions. Enchantments.

He tried everything. He talked to anyone- everyone. He promised anything for answers. Anything for help.

Ancient texts. Dark rituals. Forbidden spells.

Once- he even tried to give you his own magic. Like a childish fever dream, something to awaken yours. Take yours. Fix yours.

It failed. Of course it did.

But that didn’t stop him from trying again. And again. And again.

Because Barty Crouch Jr. was a lot of things.

A prodigy. A disappointment. A son with too many expectations.

But to you- he was just a boy who couldn’t stand to lose his best friend.

Imagine… your final conversation with him.

You were eighteen, frail and pale, sitting in your childhood bed as Barty paced beside you. He had spent every year of his life loosing himself to try and regain you.

And it was tearing you apart inside.

He told you about his latest discovery, about the ritual he was planning.

He swore he was close.

You smiled. Soft. Knowing. Because he was always close.

And then you said it. So soft. So sweet.

So scratchy.. so quiet..

“Barty, it’s okay.”

And it broke him.

He fell to his knees beside your bed, clutching your frail hands, begging you not to go.

Because who was he without you? What identity did he have if you weren't there? What was all the Outstandings for? The letters? The years he spent learning every nook and cranny of magic- if he couldn't stop it?

Not yet. Not when he still had so much to fix.

“I can’t,” he whispered. “I can’t watch you die.”

And so, you gave him one final gift. Because he had give you so much.

Too much.

“Then don’t,” you whispered. “Close your eyes.”

He did.

“Picture me."

And he did. And when his face twisted in anguish, you tutted. Running your small- much too small hands, through his black locks. “Not like that. Like me.”

And there she was. The vibrant ten-year-old who once dragged him through the streets, laughing like she had all the time in the world. Tugging him into alley ways and sneaking away from his parents.

“Write to me,” you said, voice barely a breath. “Write to that girl. That way… it will be like I never left.”

So he let go of your hand.

And he left.

He left you alone in that bed.

He walked away, fists clenched, locket pressed to his palm.

He didn’t look back. He forced himself through the meadow in your back yard, the bond you used to run in when you were younger, the swings that rocked.

And then- the explosion.

The shockwave knocked him to the ground.

The sky split open behind him.

And as he lay there, gasping, the locket in his hand felt heavier than ever.

You were gone.

Imagine… Barty writing letters to you all the time. From his years in the war, tales of Voldemort and his friends.

Even in Azkaban he made use of the walls and his nails.

Then under his imperious curse it was like a safe haven in his mind.

At first, they were daily.

Then weekly.

Then only when he could remember your face.

One day, he woke up and couldn’t remember if your eyes were green or blue. Brown or black. Purple or red.

Then your hair.

Your smile.

Your laugh.

And then, finally- your name.

He tried to write to you that night.

But the ink wouldn’t flow, because his hands hesitated.

Because for the first time in his life-

He didn’t know who he was writing to.

And that- not Azkaban, not the Dementors, not even the war-

That was the moment Barty Crouch Jr. truly died.

And the cruelest thing; in this form of death; he still wouldn't see you. Not yet.