To Report Or Not To Report...that Is The Eternal Flaming Highway Wreck Of A Question.

“Justice," she said. "I've heard that word. It's a cold world. I tried it out," she said, still speaking in that low voice. "I wrote it down. I wrote it down several times and always it looked like a damn cold lie to me. There is no justice.” — Jean Rhys, Wide Sargasso Sea

Some things you carry.

Some things carry you.

Ba Ghi Ri E De, Pueblo Indian woman carrying a water pot on her head. - Porter - 1907

To Anyone Who’s Still Carrying It

You don’t get over it in a straight line. You just don’t. And anyone who tells you different hasn’t been through it or hasn’t faced it yet.

Harassment doesn’t always leave bruises you can point to. It gets under the skin in quieter ways. It makes you second-guess what you heard, how you felt, what you wore, what you said. It can turn a job into a minefield and your own instincts into something you stop trusting.

And it doesn’t end the day you leave the job, or file the report, or speak the truth out loud. Sometimes it lingers. In your body. In your sleep. In how you walk into new rooms.

But here’s what I know: healing doesn’t have to look heroic. It’s not always confrontation or closure. Sometimes it’s just getting through the day without that weight taking over. Sometimes it’s finding one person who listens. Sometimes it’s deciding to stay. Or leave. Or try again.

Whatever it looks like --- that’s valid. You’re allowed to move forward without explaining why it hurt or proving that it did.

It was real. You’re not imagining it. And you are absolutely not alone.

You did not deserve to be sexually harassed. This is true no matter what you wear, how you look, how much money you make, where you work, what you do, or anything else.

Part of the problem is when you become overwhelmed and burnt out; making any decisions isn’t what helps. People forget that when you get to a place of burn out. The last thing your mind wants to do is make more decisions. It’s burn out, it just wants to rest and not have to constantly choose this or that.

You're still here

Maybe you still talk about it like it wasn’t a big deal. Maybe you laugh when you tell the story. Maybe you change the details each time, depending on who’s listening. Maybe you say “it was weird” instead of “it was wrong.”

Sometimes, survival looks like contradiction. Like forgetting on purpose. Like trying on different words until one of them feels safe enough to hold.

You don’t owe anyone a neat version of what happened. It was messy. You’re still here. That’s the truth.

Hi, I just wanted to say this blog has helped me a lot with understanding and healing from being harassed at work. I hope you have a lovely weekend <3

Thank you, what a pleasure to hear! Made my weekend, in fact. Have a great weekend yourself.