+ MY FUCKING LAPTOP CAUGHT ON FIRE???? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PLAY MINECRAFT?!?!!

TODAY'S TOP HEADLINE:

News Network 'Times New Union' Isn't Dead, Actually

In unrelated news, TNU has recently expressed thanks to its local necromancer Lich pilot.

diary of a tgirl orc mercenary, entry #156:

“dear diary: i stepped in a fairy circle and am now trapped in the fae realm. Thought i was totally screwed but I met a (seemingly) friendly fairy who is helping me find my way. No one has stolen my name as i do not actually have one. Not sure if that will be an issue later. Only real problem is that this fairy keeps hitting on me by calling me ‘the best of both worlds’ and i can’t tell if she means it in a chaser way or a fae realm way.”

CAN YOU PEOPLE STOP CASCADING FOR TEN MINUTES. IS THAT REALLY TOO MUCH TO ASK?

the best way to do trans fem sonic is metal transitions and she chooses to stop fighting sonic and live in peace knowing shes truly her own person then a week later by total coincidence sonic also transitions and metal immediately starts trying to kill her again for copying her

"Listen," one guard said, "I know we have only just met-"

"No," the other guard said, "we've worked together for years!"

"-but you can trust me when I say-"

"I can't, you have the curse that's opposite from mine!"

"I don't care for you at all."

"Well, I… oh… I love you too."

The Tumblr Funnyman used to be a cornerstone of the ecosystem. The species has since become endangered, with the majority having left after the porn ban, or transitioned into funny women

Royal Carrier Pigeon Trustworthy all the time First Clip: @skullvolver

It's literally that easy.