Guess What Fish! I'm In Mexico And Almost Got Scammed!

Kidnapper: I thought you were the man.... Me: That's because my hair is out of my face. I look more feminie with it down. NOW HIDE ME!!!!!

Reader: Please... Just put a bullet between my eyes now.

Kidnapper: Relax. If your family loves you, they'll pay the ransom

Reader: I'm not worried about you. My wife is a retired assassin and if I'm late to dinner one more time I'll lose my outside privileges for a year.

Kidnapper: You really expect me to believe that? I'm sure your wife's crying her eyes out to police right now.

Reader: Who said I was married to a woman?

[Knock- Knock- Knock]

Femboy Housewife Yan: Helloooo in there~ Has anyone in there seen my darling dearest spouse around? It's casserole night and they promised they wouldn't be late this evening. If it's your fault they're not at the dinner table right now [giggles] Well.... It's probably best if you open the door now than later...

Reader, squirming in their chains: Hide me!

I lowkey wanna dress this way.

SCENE HANAKO!!! (don't ask how I came up with this)

Demon: Why??? Me with all my junk: Cause I want some money?

“In exchange for your soul, I can offer you - ” “No, I don’t want to sell my soul. I want to sell all these.”

Demon: HA HA HAAA! Me: So he isn't angry

While reading over the demon’s contract, you realize it was riddled with typos. Notably, ‘soul’ was misspelled as ‘sole’. You thought the demon would be pissed when you handed him 100 pairs of shoes as payment, but he just started to laugh hysterically and clap.

God give me good fortune.

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

Like to charge, reblog to cast

REBLOGING CAUSE MORE PEOPLE SHOULD SEE THIS!!!!

I made these as a way to compile all the geographical vocabulary that I thought was useful and interesting for writers. Some descriptors share categories, and some are simplified, but for the most part everything is in its proper place. Not all the words are as useable as others, and some might take tricky wording to pull off, but I hope these prove useful to all you writers out there!

(save the images to zoom in on the pics)

I thank you. And I decided to check this out before I headed to be so good night! And make sure B00ty boy goes to sleep!

You're not the only one with insomnia, right?

Me and Leon are hashtag twinning with insomnia 💥

Put the hat back on please. It's a pretty hat

Me: Yeah fuck that. I'M TRAUMATIZED AS FUCK SO I QUIT!!!

After being a superhero for decades and experiencing many awful events, you make a horrifying discovery: you don’t age and will never be able to retire