This Is Me For Real

Me: BITCH YOU ARE DEAD! Them: NOT YET HOE! SUCK IT!

Your friend always said “I’ll rest when I’m dead,” so much that it became his catchphrase. He says it again today when he came into work, going about his daily routine. This normally wouldn’t be concerning, if not for the fact that you attended his funeral two weeks ago.

Not a big writer but I do have some things I need to put down! I'll be your friend!

um. any writers wanna be mutuals 👉👈 my dash is kinda dry and i want friends

I thank you. And I decided to check this out before I headed to be so good night! And make sure B00ty boy goes to sleep!

You're not the only one with insomnia, right?

Me and Leon are hashtag twinning with insomnia 💥

Look at Felix! HA!

hey its dead i think

"Bitch all I'm trying to do is assaininate someone!!!"

“…If all else fails, claim you’re a time traveler and that you’re trying to stop a disaster or something. It’s not exactly a sure bet, but there’s enough people out there who will let you do anything if they think it’s to save the future. Hell, if you’re convincing enough they’ll help you.”

And don't bury the treasure you find either. You need it to buy supplies. And have a water purifer, but if you can't find one, get booze. Water can and will go bad, so these things will save you from dehydration

I've been seeing a lot of posts about piracy lately and in light of this i do need to say something because I've been seeing a lot of misinformation.

anti-viruses, vpns, ad-blockers- none of these are going to help you here.

the first thing you're going to need is a good solid boat (preferably oak wood). you will also want some cannons and a plank depending on the sort of shenanigans you plan on getting into.

Also! Not once have i seen any of you talking about the importance of citrus fruits and vitamin C. antivirus doesn't prevent scurvy. come on you should know this by now.

this sort of misinformation is wildly dangerous and irresponsible.

Yes. So is going on tumblr in the middle of the night

Me when I saw a butch woman:

Me: NO! GET THAT OUT OF YOU MOUTH!!! My older brother: *biting a wasp's nest* Me:*screams in anger*

You were born to a brood of hundreds, your siblings all hopelessly mindless and brutal, yet you somehow were born with sentience, now you have to find your own way in a world of monsters and monster hunters.

As a half white person, I don't like how the Olympics are playing out so far. I only know about the drag queen show and they made fun of the last supper. I'm Catholic and even if I don't take my religion to seriously even though I should, I won't stand for. Everything you said that they are doing sounds terrible.

White people want to make the Olympics white again essentially.