Technically A Redraw Of An Official Beast Art That Harukawa Did (you Can Find It In The Beast Light Novel)

Speak Now World Tour

March 2, 2012 - Perth, Australia

jolts upright I've just had a realization. how much did atsushi think about when akutagawa died? how much did he replay it in his mind, go over every detail again and again? how much did he mourn it, grieve him? how many times did he recall akutagawa's last words? because for atsushi to be able to, in a split second, as he *dies* and everything around him has already gone to shit, recall what akutagawa said to him, and repeat it back? it must have been constantly.

So like

Akutagawa is in love with Atsushi

If you took this out of context this would genuinely look like an enemies to lovers romance manga scene 🙏

Also Harukawa wrote an illustrator's note (I think it's at the end of volume 5?) about how she draws eyes, and how she portrays the character's current growth, personality and aspect on the world through their eyes

Akutagawa's eyes have almost always been dark, the representation for how dark his life and character is

But Atsushi brings light to them

In chapter 121.5 where Akutagawa's eyes grow wide as he sees Atsushi die, it's not just a show of how shocked Akutagawa is, it shows how Atsushi lightens Akutagawa's eyes, how much he's affected him for the greater good. Atsushi brings out a new side to Akutagawa

His eyes are incredibly light as he recalls his memories and gets hit by Atsushi's death that wasn't even just a death, but a death to save him. To protect him

Because Atsushi thinks Akutagawa is worth protecting

So just, like, I really love how chapter 122 not only shows Atsushi finally seeing Akutagawa's past and fully understanding Akutagawa's trauma and even relating to him, but it also shows how Akutagawa truly feels about Atsushi (although the "and then..." definitely left us on a cliffhanger)

I love them

christmas headcanon is just atsushi makes a big deal of christmas santa claus etc for kyouka; kyouka doesnt believe in santa claus but pretends to for atsushi;; atsushi also doesn't believe in santa claus but pretends to for kyouka

ranpo knows whats going on but he thinks this is fun; and atsushi going all out means more treats for him

dazai isnt sure if atsushi believes but also doesnt wanna be the asshole to ruin it for him, so he pretends for atsushi's sake; atsushi is now lying about santa claus more becuz he thinks dazai believes in him too

kunikida doesnt think atsushi believes in santa claus but dazai seems unsure so he starts doubting himself; atsushi is now keeping up the lie becuz three ppl in his life apparently believe in santa claus

he gets breaks with yosano who also knows whats going but thinks this is all very funny

junichiro also knows atsushi is pretending about santa claus but he thinks its only for kyouka; somehow his convo with atsushi leads to everyone thinking santa claus is coming to visit

everyone thinks kenji believes in santa claus too so theyre convos are all vague

dazai and kunikida frantically try to find a santa claus for atsushi kenji and kyouka

kyouka desperately tries to find a santa claus for atsushi

atsushi and juni desperately try to find a santa claus for kyouka and kenji

fukuzawa (kunikidazai convince him), the cafe owner (kyouka and lucy convince him), and hirotsu (atsushi asks akutagawa if he has a santa claus and akutagawa confusedly googles that/asks higuchi to google it and show him the screen, figures out its some old guy, asks hirotsu to go to the ada, becuz he too is an old guy) end up all dressed as santa claus at the ada together

kenji walks in and asks if theyre having a christmas party

atsushi panics

naomi lies and says theyre having a spot the real santa competition

kenji asks what a santa is

yosano cant hold it in anymore; she just bursts into laughter

no one in the ada believes in santa claus

Can we talk about how *safe* Atsushi and Akutagawa feel with each other

How much they're connected to each other is actually insane

They have innate trust with each other (Akutagawa even gave his coat to Atsushi), and they're comfortable with each other, it's wonderful

I think the best depiction of canon "domestic sskk" per se, is in beast

The direct passage from the beast light novel is:

"They continued to shoot the breeze for the next few minutes or so. Both boys shared small yet profound experiences that their colleagues would never be able to understand or even empathize with. The two of them could just be kids, something they seldom did around others.

'This is the first time I've ever been able to talk to someone like this,' the white-haired boy said with a chuckle."

They can relate to each other so strongly, they're opposites yet they feel intertwined. God they have such a well written and like at this point really romantic relationship

I really like how beast can show us a new perspective on sskk (among other things in the Bsd universe), comparing their first meeting in the main series to their first meeting in beast is kinda crazy. When Akutagawa nor Atsushi has the prior information of who they work for, they can get along. In a world with no abilities, no Mafia, no detective agency, they would know each other so well

Also, I'm sure Akutagawa has smiled more than twice in the series, but both most memorable times he's smiled they were both directed at Atsushi (one smile was the one he gave Atsushi while he told him to run before dying, second smile was in beast, shown in the picture above)

It's like Atsushi brings out the best of him, and vice versa. They're just so *perfect* for each other 😭

I will always love their parallels and similarities, their relationship balance is a perfect representation of the yin and yang

Atsushi knows he can't bear to live without Akutagawa. Akutagawa knows that Atsushi is the only person he's ever met who really, truly understands him. And no matter how much they're in denial about how they're a lot more than just "rivals", they still scream each other's names when one of them gets hurt, because they both *care*

Akutagawa is definitely going to go feral in the next chapter or so oml

I will be honest with you, Akutagawa was very stressed and emotional last chapter just for him being all straight face no emotion "jinko" bs.

Can you share your thoughts on that?

Also where is the light in his eyes?! He had it last chapter too why did it disappear?!?!!??!

Little akutagawa-chan😔

Friendly reminder of that time when Atsushi saved Akutagawa from dying by body slam/grabbing him and then Akutagawa proceeded to use Rashomon to keep Atsushi safe as they crashed through the window in each other's arms

Thank you for the tag @dancing-dawn :>

I just cleared out my camera roll lmao 😭

Random tags; @mi1ikan @randomkorndog @solanumflare @spaceace00