Dealing With The Worst Case Scenario

Danny has gotten a high paying job! And he gets to work with a celebrity!

Danny gets a job as the Wayne's PA, and while working with Bruce, he notices something.

The dude's a ditz, for sure, but also.

Also...

He isn't.

Danny realizes it's an act, and that actual ditzyness from the professionals around him drive his new boss up a wall.

But Bruce can't actually point it out, or he reveals that he isn't as ditzy as they say.

Danny decides to have fun; with his powers, he can play an even bigger himbo than Bruce Wayne. (Intangibility will be sure to outplay the Prince of Gotham's clumsiness).

Every time he does his job well, he makes sure to do it in an oblivious fashion that seems like it's going to fail, but then works beautifully.

It's a lot of work, but...the subtle eye twitch of internalized rage? The forced exhale of a quiet, agonized scream of frustration? The sometimes subconscious clenching of the man's fist?

Fucking worth it.

Basically, Danny realizes he can antagonize the richest man in America and still not get fired; the fic.

Added sound effects to this AMAZING animation by https://www.instagram.com/xabier.u/ with their permission… and I had a lot of fun doing it!

Thinking about a duct tape wizard

Dani loves traveling, but she loves the sea the most.

It's just so wild, so untamable. She loves it!

In fact, when she takes a trip into the Zone, she seeks out Youngblood to reminisce about the sea. But Youngblood's never actually been to it.

He thinks it sounds super cool though!

In fact, his old ship, The Caleuche, still works beautifully as a Ghost Ship and a Proper Ship! Since it used to be his, he should be able to visit if she uses it! She just has to figure out how to get it out of the Zone.

So she tests a theory. Is The Caleuche ghost enough to get souped?

Yes. Yes it is.

She soups The Caleuche, leaves the Zone, and heads to the Pacific.

The Caleuche is great; she steers herself when it gets rough but follows orders, she can submerge but the interior is still dry and doesn't appear to run out of air, and whenever she surfaces she's so brightly lit and fun looking that recently deceased sailors like to come aboard and party before deciding to move onto the Ghost Zone through the natural portal in the Brig.

Dani thinks she may be making Youngblood's crew larger, but that's Danny's problem.

Not all ghosts go. Some stay on the ship. There's a doctor in a really old uniform, Mikhail, who can only speak Ghostspeak and Russian. There's a lady pirate, Jacquotte, who would rather spend her afterlife partying on the seas than going with the rest of the Ghosts to the Zone. There's a chef that wears some modern sort of chef uniform that only speaks Ghostspeak and Korean, Eun-Woo, who insists on making sure she eats a balanced diet. A big, growly sailor dressed like he's from the mob like in the movies, Frankie, but he just sits around and whittles wood or intimidates the meaner Ghosts into backing down so she doesn't have to fight.

They're her crew! Sure, it's way less than Youngbloods, but she likes it that way.

Sometimes she comes across humans doing stupid stuff, or getting in trouble, or even Atlanteans getting in trouble, and she saves them from their own mess.

One time she found a man with tattered green and black suit, with a very pretty ring, unconscious and floating on some weird metal wreckage.

So she hauled him aboard and let the doctor treat him, ordered The Caleuche to submerge, and dropped him off at a busy port.

What Dani doesn't realize is that she's getting Deified by sailors across the world.

A laughing child that saves those who can be saved, and reaps the ones who can't. A benevolent Goddess of the Sea.

That when she dropped off that Green Lantern at The Metropolis Harbor, videos caught a brightly lit, vaguely see through ghost ship rise from the waters. Recordings of laughter and music aboard, with the people on it very clearly dead and wearing uniforms from all walks of life would make the rounds.

That she herself, decked out in her new pirate gear, flickered into existence from nothing and gently laid the Green Lantern on the ground before disappearing.

Then the ship went back underwater.

i keep seeing fake to real relationship fics where Red Robin is sacrificed to the ghost king

and those are great don’t get me wrong, but why is it always Red Robin??

wouldn’t it — hear me out ok — would it not be infinitely funnier if Timothy Drake-Wayne, CEO of Wayne Enterprises, a son of Gotham’s beloved royal family, social media blue check, was kidnapped and sacrificed instead.

Imagine the panic. The internet catastrophe. The viral posts. The public outcry. Why is the Justice League taking so long to rescue this poor boy??

Then imagine said poor boy finally being rescued. They manage it. They get him back.

And upon his return from what was obviously, no doubt, a traumatizing ordeal of inter dimensional kidnapping, Timothy Drake-Wayne’s first Twitter post is just

“give me back my ghost king boyfriend I miss him : (”

The internet would fucking EXPLODE ok listen, no stop walking away listen to me —

zlibrary gone... FUCK TIKTOK FUCK BOOKTOK I hope that app burns in hell

Shout-out to Tatl, the one who taught Mask how to swear (my HC)

Tatl "Link! What are you doing here?!"

Mask "Me? What are YOU doing here?"

Mask "Oh. That ain't good"

Tatl "No shit"

Keep the Jedi Out of It

With input from @atagotiak (Tia), @gelpenss (Gel), and @thisarenotarealblog (Doc).

Standard initial premise: Clones take over the Republic after Fox kills Palpatine.

Fun AU Twist: in order to keep people from trying to fuck over the Jedi, and also as a backup because they trust the Jedi to at least try to save them after the initial hubbub goes down, and also as a bit of a vindication for those who don’t like their Jedi… the clones arrest all the Jedi and just keep them in the brigs etc. until they figure out how to break the news to the galaxy that Palpatine was a bigger problem than previously anticipated.

“Why did the Jedi not stop you?” “Great question! We arrested them.” “…all of them?” “Yes.” “On what grounds?” “On ‘they would have stopped us from killing the Chancellor’ grounds.”

“The Jedi couldn’t stop you from arresting them?” “We just kind of told them ‘here, hold this’ and then put the force cuffs on. It was really easy, actually, they trust us way too much, it’s kinda scary. A few of them passed out without the Force to keep them awake and the medics got pissed they hadn’t been sleeping.” “…you’re saying you did this for their own good?” “No, we did it so we could kill the Chancellor.”

Keep reading

Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

Danny, appearing out of nowhere: Hi!

Danny, reaching into Jason's chest and pulling out a misshapen, disgusting blob of dark green goo: You've got a spare part you don't need there, buddy.

Danny, molding the goo into a different shape with his bare hands, throwing the darker parts away: And, you know what they say, sharing is caring, so.

Danny, holding up the pure green and slightly glowing blob that is not melting or looking sick anymore: Here you have it, an entirely new spleen, fresh baked and up for grabs!

Danny, shoving said spleen inside Tim: Since you're missing one, you get to have it for free, no returns, you're welcome.

Danny, fading from view with a two-fingered salute: There, puzzle solved, everyone have a great day, bye!

Jason, whose Pit Rage is gone:

Tim, who has a new organ now:

Bruce, who, just like everyone else, has absolutely no idea what just happened and who that glowing kid was:

Dick:

Dick, a moment later: Hold the fuck up, when and how did you have a splenectomy, Timothy?!