Something About You, And Your Voice, And Your Hands.

something about you, and your voice, and your hands.

to be honest for a while now the world has passed over me in static. i feel it rumble overhead, unruly and unhappy, tire tracks over skin. when i close my eyes i see only refracted light and rain. no matter how much i sleep, i am exhausted over and over again. i have tried everything. girls and pills and makeup and prayer and chastity and sobriety and violence and tearing off a fancy dress and putting it on again. i might just be permanently shaped like this.

something about you, though. you cut into the soft bits. everything turns color-swift and loud. like you can push your hands through the fabric. like you can find me and pin me down. like all the running and fighting and biting down was pointless; i'd been home for longer than i'd counted. the first time you looked at me - really looked, caught my anxious eyes like a bird - i felt some little rabbit kick her legs, bound up somewhere in the razorwire radio silence dominating my heart.

i can't be known like that. i can't be touched like that. you can't love me like that.

i'll simply come apart.

More Posts from Mistfire24 and Others

1 year ago
Moments In Time, Preserved Through Sentiments Twitter | Ko-Fi | Patreon
Moments In Time, Preserved Through Sentiments Twitter | Ko-Fi | Patreon
Moments In Time, Preserved Through Sentiments Twitter | Ko-Fi | Patreon
Moments In Time, Preserved Through Sentiments Twitter | Ko-Fi | Patreon
Moments In Time, Preserved Through Sentiments Twitter | Ko-Fi | Patreon
Moments In Time, Preserved Through Sentiments Twitter | Ko-Fi | Patreon

Moments in time, preserved through sentiments Twitter | Ko-Fi | Patreon

3 months ago
"it's been january for months in both directions"
a painting of a winter scene, with a frozen river and leafless trees, and only a hint of yellow behind the clouds.
"so. bad news. we have to keep going tomorrow. good news is I'll keep going with you"
"wake up and read the news
cry for the world
go on living"
"it is a serious thing
just to be alive
on this fresh morning
in this broken world"
On January And Feeling Alive
a photo of a large body of water. there is a small cluster of rocks visible on the right, and it appears to be sunset or sunrise.
"January 4. Great desire to begin another story;"
"The first clear thought in years: I refuse to die."
"Walking home for a moment
you almost believe you could start again
And an intense love rushes to your heart,
and hope. It's unendurable, unendurable."
a painting of the sun from a forest, casting long blue shadows at sunset or sunrise.
"Suddenly you're ripped into being alive. And life is pain, and life is suffering, and life is horror, but my god you're alive and it's spectacular."
a photo of a dog on a frozen lake. the sun is low in the sky and casts a long shadow as the dog walks away from the camera, a trail of pawprints leading back and a line of trees at the edge of the lake.
"i think i am done wallowing in my sadness and letting it ruin my life. among other things"
"what if I just decide that life is beautiful even with the horrible things in it and that to be alive is magical even when i feel like shit and to let go of the beliefs that limit me and return to love always. and i'm sexy. what then"
"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style."
-Maya Angelou
a photo of a winter landscape, consisting of a low hill leading up to a sky at sunset or sunrise, with the sky bright gold and pink. there are mountains visible in the background and a few leafless trees.
"spring is coming. spring IS COMING. You will stand on soft grass again, and feel the sun kiss your cheeks and shoulders. you will eat the same berries as the animals returning from their hibernation. you will hear the air alive with your collective breathing."
"#here is the game: today you are not going to die #you will save yourself! you cannot help it!"

on january and feeling alive

now with image descriptions!

kavah akbar / rhombiee on reddit / @/buzzkillgirls / @/fixing-bad-posts / mary oliver / anthony t hincks / @/introvertedswimmer / franz kafka (via @/kafkadaily) / marya hornbacher / franz wright / normal-ticket-601 on reddit / joseph campbell / funsilver6189 on reddit / @/rawjoy / maya angelou / event_infamous on reddit / @/annasinthewalls / unknown

10 months ago
Sutekh Is A Whovian, To Me...
Sutekh Is A Whovian, To Me...

Sutekh is a Whovian, to me...

7 months ago

Al Jazeera is saying that the pagers in the Israeli attack were indeed packed with 20g of explosives and were imported into Lebanese territory five months ago, and Axios says that the decision was made by the Israeli state to detonate the pagers a week ago.

3 months ago
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER REWATCH -> Revelations (3.07)
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER REWATCH -> Revelations (3.07)
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER REWATCH -> Revelations (3.07)
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER REWATCH -> Revelations (3.07)

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER REWATCH -> Revelations (3.07)

2 months ago
“Your Absence Has Gone Through Me Like Thread Through A Needle. Everything I Do Is Stitched With Its
“Your Absence Has Gone Through Me Like Thread Through A Needle. Everything I Do Is Stitched With Its
“Your Absence Has Gone Through Me Like Thread Through A Needle. Everything I Do Is Stitched With Its
“Your Absence Has Gone Through Me Like Thread Through A Needle. Everything I Do Is Stitched With Its

“Your absence has gone through me like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its color.”

— W.S. Merwin, from "Separation, The Moving Target (Macmillan Pub Co, 1963)

11 months ago

how odd, to watch the creative writing exercises of angry men in the comments of instagram. you noticed it first in the comments of conventionally attractive women - but then it started appearing everywhere else, too.

a young man talks about what lunch he's packing his wife. there is a little story under it, with 300 likes, fabricated from nothing. "this is pointless. if you treat her like this, she will take the lunch to her office and fuck her boss and divorce him and take all his money."

you scroll. a young woman talks about what lunch she's packing for her husband. it is always uglier when the subject of the video is a woman, you've noticed. "you sit on camera and you smile and you are cheating with the neighbor and then you're going to lie about being sexually assaulted by your husband and -"

you stop reading. it has 567 likes.

where did this even become a thing? people making up stories in their head, disgusting long-winded assumptions about intention and sexual disgrace. the evil twin of fanfiction.

like - it's just a lie. it's a lie that they are telling, baldfaced and assumptive. the undercurrent is of course misogyny, but the trouble is that they're so fucking certain. that's what makes the hairs on the back of your neck rise. there is this pervasive, inventive desire for them to be right. that they must be right. all women are cheating, lying, gold-digging bitches. no exceptions.

in the reverse, when women say i'd rather meet a bear in the woods than a strange man - men funnel in from the sides. they defend each other with a vibrance and capacity for empathy you wish applied to like, the other half of the population. a man could be saying i absolutely did kill her and these creatures in the comments would rise up with king shit. she made it happen. they love each other to the point of this sick strange self-gaslighting, a fervent and unhinged cognitive distortion. all men are good, wonderful people. all women are terrible, conniving, seditious, annoying.

and when did it become okay to just, like... say that kind of a thing? at one point, you find yourself typing out a witty and snappy retort. why are you spending so much time fantasizing about other people babe. but as you stare at the screen, some part of you pictures this man in public, saying these things to your face. his soapbox, high and mighty. his mirrored sunglasses and his empty life: tired and lonely.

what a sad and horrible loop he's locked in. he is terrible to women, so women don't talk to him, which he uses as an excuse to act more terribly. he blames this "failure" on women, rather than on his behavior. it cannot be that he is the problem (that the solution is to just put his ego down and accept women as equals) - he begins to invent a sculpture to replace the flesh frame of each person he sees.

it isn't just a woman posing on the beach. it is now a slut with a desperate need for each person to crave her body. it isn't just a woman yelping with surprise during something upsetting. it is a hysterical, unhelpful cretin who will probably make things worse instead of better. it isn't a person.

someone's very sweet wedding vows get moderate attention on instagram. in the comments, a man says good fucking luck you'll waste your life providing while behind your back she's absolutely fucking the best man. this will be so cringe in 2 months when she walks out on you.

you think - is that what you need to be true? is that what you need to happen, for the world to make sense to you?

10 months ago
Has Anyone Done This Yet?

Has anyone done this yet?

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mistfire24 - technically my main blog but I'm not here a lot
technically my main blog but I'm not here a lot

@mist-fire is usually where I reside, though it's mainly Doctor Who

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