The Memories I Have Of Us In Me Are Fond Yet Full Of Woe, Soft Yet Full Of Spite, Gentle Yet Full Of

in all my years of living in this hellhole i call a house, never have i once called it a home. because never has it once felt like one.

I'm not saying I hate my new college but wait no fuck it. I'm saying exactly that. Wtf even is engineering.

Enjoy my mini rant

my heart breaks a little every time i look at my mother because all I see is what I shouldn't be yet all she sees is all she could be

alone again but the peaceful kind. listening to music while reading and annotating a book while drinking caffeinated beverages and not bothering about humans or their world

honestly feels like i'm playing fucking limbo with my expectations for myself. every time i wonder is this it? the lowest I go? then boom I prove my fucking self wrong and go lower. fucking how low can you go my ass

the versions of me that i show to them. people pleasers never do get the light of love shining on the deepest parts of their hearts. the parts that are unapologetically them, the parts that truly define them. but then again they're hidden away by fear and who's to say they aren't comforted by it.

Wordy by aavfvl

"anyone who ever loved could look at me and know that I love you'

oh the urge to say this to them

{Quotes:Dreaming -cream/We shall be well prepared Mary Oliver/Who had a heart- Dionne warwick/Richard siken/Richard siken/euripides/Richard siken/euripides /letters to Milena Franz Kafka //picture: Pinterest}

“I have dreamed about you everynight since the day you left.”

I have every conversation of ours engrained in my mind, but I can't quite figure out where we went wrong.

Is it wrong for me to miss you when I never truly had you?

I hate that it had to be you, you in all your courteous guy glory

But if anyone could make me realise how unfit I am to love, I'm glad it was you

In a wretched way, the pain was an epiphany and it was time I stopped pretending I meant anything to you.

You say the distance was too much for you, did you mean the one between us or our hearts?

I longed to feel the warmth of love tugging at my heartstrings, but now I fear they're too taut too feel anything but strain.

When I gave you an out, I never did expect you to take it, never thought you'd want to. But I suppose I was never enough to make you stay, never enough to make you change your mind.

How do I move on?

How do i move on when all my soul yearns for is you yet it has never truly known you?

How do i rid myself of the remnants of your existence, remnants i hold close to the essence of my being yet am entirely repulsed by?

Just go to Pinterest if u want the motivation to study

this is really funny rn cause i j fought with my parents and opened tumblr to see this lmaoo

if you have a bad mother get over here im your new mum /srs