F.M.: I'm Based On A Real Person, And Sometimes, I Worry About What Might Happen To Me When My Source
F.M.: I'm based on a real person, and sometimes, I worry about what might happen to me when my source dies.
Will I die too? Will I deactivate and become a statue in the Stone Garden? Will I stop existing? Mary and Reanna would be devastated!
My source is in a band, and seven (going on eight) years ago, one of his bandmates killed himself. I formed from a fear that he'd be next. Maybe that's why I'm so worried.
I can already imagine myself sitting in a corner of the headspace and thinking, "oh my God! He's dead! What's gonna happen to me!?"
More Posts from Mx-field and Others
From Our DeviantArt Post
Title: Carnival Byline: Reanna Field
This is the new front cover for Carnival. It's the red curtain but changed to look like a frame that puts the title and byline in the focal point.
It was supposed to have a picture of Staride, and the curtain was supposed to look like it was rising. But it looked cooler after we used the smudge feature to make the cover look darker. It makes the frame look like a diamond.
Carnival is out now, so you can buy it on Amazon. (Link to its page. Note: the back of the hardcover does not have a blurb.)
Carnival: Profile
Title: Carnival (links to Amazon) Edition: second Genre: gothic horror comedy Year self-published: 2022 (through B&N Press), 2024 (through KDP)
Copyright status: CC BY 4.0 (do whatever you want as long as you credit the original work.)
Blurb: A car explodes while leaving Lakeside Amusement Park. Rebecca is assumed dead. After James and Chaz argue over what happened, they and their friends go there to look for her. Instead of entering Lakeside, our heroes find themselves in Carnival, the park’s Faerie counterpart. It is a backdrop which makes finding Rebecca only one of their worries.
Format: novella Page count: 76 (seventy-six)
MPA Rating: R (Restricted) Reasons: profanity, violence, child death, drama, spirit possession, and horror
Price: $6.50 (paperback), $13.00 (hardcover)
Note: This is the one we portrayed ourselves in. It was like acting in a movie. Chaz, Brian, and Rebecca are the only tulpas in this story that still consider themselves part of the phalanx. The rest chose to live in a place we call The Background to relieve head pressure (a sense of pressure, not actual pressure.)
Reanna: Sometimes, plural writer culture is being the headmate everyone takes traits from for their characters.
Reanna: I don't think I'd ever realize I'm bigender without my headmates. I'd have probably just continued thinking I'm making it up.
It happened in 2022. The feeling may have been triggered by a dream Chaz had in 2021 (link to the dream.) It caused his form to go back and forth between male and female. This happened so much that he made a character to make it stop.
Then, we did research on trans men for a scrapped story idea in February. I noticed a desire to be a man, but when I imagined a full transition, it conflicted with my womanhood. So, I told myself that I was making it up, that it was the research talking.
But the feeling didn't leave.
A desire to be a man while remaining a woman. I didn't know why I was feeling this way. We felt confused. There was so much conflict.
Then, on April 19, Brian was thinking about all of this. He realized something and said, "I think we're bigender." Because I represent the body, it means that I'm bigender. The conflict stopped because the word fit.
Without Brian's realization, I would have still felt confused. Without Brian's realization, I would have continued dismissing my feelings as "making it up."
Reanna: If we ever develop a fanbase, I wonder if it would primarily be fans with physical copies of our books or fans with digital copies we put in shadow libraries.
I wish we had a way of knowing if someone read our books. Let's try asking. If you have a question about our books, send it in the ask box.
From Our DeviantArt Post
Title: The Murder After Byline: Reanna Field (It's actually by SL.)
This is the front cover for The Murder After. It has a white pillow with the yellow rose and knife lying on top of each other in an "x" shape. The rose's stem has blood on it, and so does the knife's blade.
F.M. and SL worked on it during Labor Day [2023.] SL took the picture, and F.M. did the rest. He traced and colored. To add texture, he put the photo on top and made it more transparent. It was better than filling in texture by coloring.
Not from Our Post
SL: I wanted to share the meaning behind the picture. The yellow rose represents friendship. (Jacqueline was Terrance's friend.) The blood on the stem represents the cut on Jacqueline's neck. The pink paring knife represents nothing. We chose it because our mom doesn't like it, just in case we were still taking pictures when she got back.
I'm proud of this cover. It's my favourite.
The Murder After is out now, so you can buy it on Amazon. (Link to its page.)
Mint Phalanx: People still waiting in line to vote, please stay. Polling stations cannot turn you away if you do.
People who already voted, be patient. We may not know until Thursday or longer.
We're all stressed out, so tomorrow, F.M. will go outside and hop in the snow after classes. (He's been wanting to do this for awhile now. ) You& should find a way to reduce stress too, so you can feel better during and after this Election Day.
Terrance (to others): We have a title for our new project: Le Prince and Disney (no relation.)
Iris Le Prince is the one describing the silent films. Her surname comes from Louis Le Prince, the guy who made the first film. Benjamin Disney is the one making the dark ride. His surname comes from Walt Disney because he has big ideas.
