Took Two Ap Tests Today

Hawks: the Good, the Bad, and the In-between on AO3

It was raining. His wings throbbed with every drop of water that fell from the sky and the fresh wounds on his back burned. The commission was not pleased with his performance. 

Keigo curled up next to a dumpster in an alley that looked too familiar, the smelly object almost protecting him from some of the rain. Curling his wings around myself Keigo wished, not for the first time, that he could have been normal. His scent, god his scent, that of a distressed omega, clouded the air around him.

Keigo detected the slow incline of the self-deprecating thoughts invading his mind: pest, not good enough, bad bird, stupid, useless, just a slut…

Bad

So bad

Bad bad bad bad bad BAD

Keigo wailed out for the whole world to hear as the words pounded in his head and rattled around in his skull. He's sorry, he's sorry, he's sorry, he's SORRY. When Keigo opened his eyes (when did Keigo close them?) he saw the vague outline of two people. He took a breath in, and smelled two alphas, two angry alphas.

Keigo whined, a high pitched disgusting sound that vibrated the air in the alley. The alphas in front of him backed up, and another person walked up. This person turned to the Alphas and made them disappear. 

Kegio couldn't focus, where did they go?

The person walked up to him, and he backed up farther into the corner of the alley (when did he get here?). The person, beta, Keigo categorized, smelled like sage and copper. She walked up into Keigo's line of vision, limited as it was. She had blond hair and yellow eyes. Her eyes were kind (and familiar, why were they familiar?). She smiled, fangs shining in the dim light of the nearest street lamp. "Hey birdie, I love your blood, but it'll get all washed away out here in the rain. Would you like to come inside?"

Keigo whined again, and the girl, (Toga? Was it Toga?) smiled. Keigo nodded, despite a voice (whose voice?) in his head telling him not to trust this girl. The girl grabbed his hand and urged him towards a door (where did this door come from? What was happening?). He entered, the girl just a step behind him. The room was empty, (it shouldn't be empty), and she tugged him towards a second door.

It opened to reveal a bathroom, and for the first time in what felt like days, Keigo saw his reflection. He took a step back in shock. He truly was an ugly omega. 

The voices in his head shouted it and he took in every detail. The large bags under his eyes, pale skin, protruding cheekbones and collar bone where it peeked through his too large coat. It used to fit him (did it?) and now it hung on his too skinny frame. His wings hung limp behind him, coveted on dirt, and grime, and in desperate need of grooming. Keigo whined again, (God, did he have to act so pathetically) and the girl, Toga? tugged him to the shower, where he stood stoic and she assisted him.

She helped him remove his jacket, and he was numb to the searing pain it inflicted on his shredded wings. He was obvious to the hiss that the girl released when she saw his back. He was mere skin and bones, ribs protruding and belly sunken, and his back was torn to shreds from his handlers favorite whip. He couldn't remember why he looked like this, or why he was punished. Was it his fault, (maybe it was). Then his pants were removed, his thigs similarly torn as his back, leaving him in his boxers and undershirt.

"Bridie, look at me." He looked at the girl, her calm scent helping him relax despite his appearance (he was nothing without his looks, just another desperate wannabe hero slut). "You need to get undressed, and take a shower, do you understand?" She was stressed, he could smell it. He nodded, he could take a shower for her, (how did he do that again?). She grinned, and said "Good birdie," and left the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

Keigo wasn't good though. He knew that, why would he have been punished if he wasn't good? He stumbled back, crying out when his back met the shower was. He covered his mouth with his hand (where did his gloves go? They're going to see his talons!) to muffle the sound of his cries. The smell of distressed omega suffocated the small bathroom, and he slid down, keeping his cries at bay at the pain.

Keigo took a moment, then broke down into sobs. His wings curled around himself, shielding him from the world, broken as they were.

Useless 

Pathetic omega

Slut

Whore

Ugly

Stupid

Disgusting

Keigo let himself break, oblivious to the people right outside the door. 

hellow merlin fans :3

Thee kiddos

I need this in my life at a reasonable time of day

merthur fic recs masterlist

last updated:  21 Sept 2024

authors

vintagelilacs

aus and fusions

arranged marriage au, pt 2, pt 3

college/university au

different first meeting au

hanahaki au, pt 2, pt 3

high school au, pt 2

hogwarts au

modern au, pt 2

modern with magic au, pt 2

modern royalty au, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5, pt 6, pt 7, pt 8

pride and prejudice au

regency au

social media au, pt 2

soulmate au, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5, pt 6, pt 7, pt 8, pt 9, pt 10

s2e10 fix it

wing fic

arthur

actor!arthur, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5

bond girl!arthur

detective!arthur

himbo!arthur

jealous!arthur, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5, pt 6, pt 7, pt 8

pining!arthur, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5, pt 6, pt 7, pt 8, pt 9

pregnant!arthur

protective!arthur, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5, pt 6, pt 7

oblivious!arthur, pt 2, pt 3

spy!arthur

virgin!arthur

merlin

assistant!merlin

bamf!merlin

consort!merlin, pt 2, pt 3

detective!merlin

druid leader!merlin

enchanted!merlin

exhausted!merlin, pt 2

flustered!merlin

hurt!merlin, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4

irish!merlin

jealous!merlin

knight!merlin

oblivious!merlin, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5, pt 6

pining!merlin, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5

royal!merlin, pt 2

selkie!merlin

spy!merlin

virgin!merlin

other tropes and categories

00q fusion

5 + 1 things, pt 2, pt 3

accidental marriage

amnesia

angst with a happy ending

arthur courts merlin

arthur finds out about balinor

arthur finds out about freya

arthur knows about merlin’s magic

arthur loves merlin’s magic eyes

arthur’s donkey ears

arthur returns, pt 2

balinor lives

bathing

bed sharing, pt 2

bedside vigils

bets

comfort fics

coming out

crack, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4

dragon dads

drunkenness

enemies to lovers

fake/pretend relationship, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5

fandom iconic fics

fav aus

fav fics

figure skating

flowers, pt 2

fluff

forced proximity, pt 2

fuck or die

getting back together

getting together, pt 2, pt 3

getting together with the help of technology

hurt comfort

hurt no comfort, pt 2

hypothermia

kid fics, pt 2

kinktober

love spells and potions, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4

lovers to enemies

magical exhaustion

magic reveal, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5, pt 6, pt 7, pt 8, pt 9, pt 10

married/engaged merthur

meddling knights, pt 2, pt 3

merlin dies

merlin goes insane to get arthur back

merlin knows about arthur’s pining

merlin leaves camelot

merlin sleeping in weird places

merlin teaches arthur about sex/kissing

morgana and merlin friendship

not actually unrequited love

ot4

outsider pov

parties

protective!knights

remixes

role reversal

royal balls

scar reveal

secret relationship, pt 2

theatre/drama

time travel

truth potion

underappreciated fics

weddings

wedding stopping

wound cleaning

Where the fish at

“Eagle on Ice” ~ Photography by James Geddes

lesbian jock vibes

Adora, trying to flirt: shall i compare thee to a summer's day?

Catra: go on

Adora: thou art hot

Arthur: Why are you so paranoid about Mordred? He’s a good kid.

Merlin: It’s not paranoia if he’s really out to get you.

Mordred: Emrys! I made you a flower crown!

Merlin: Out of what, poison ivy?

Mordred: Wildflowers. They’re medicinal too, so you can use them with Gaius and they won’t go to waste! :D

Arthur: Literally how? How is he out to get you?!

Merlin, begrudgingly wearing the flower crown and patting Mordred on the head: He’s bidding his time.

Bakugo once called him a limp noodle, Shouto, not knowing exactly the connotations of that insult, finds that he agrees.

Source: unknown

my first offering to the merlin fandom, good god i'm so obsessed. look at what i've done to my boy.

Arthur: I’m in love with you.

Merlin, scoffing: Yeah, how many others have you said that to?

Arthur: Everyone.

Merlin: …what?

Arthur: I told everyone I’m in love with you.