When Your Practically Brother-in-law Caught You And Your Girlfriend Loving On Each Other Some Days Ago

Steb headcanon post dedicated to me cause it's my birthday <3333

🩷🩷 My personal hcs 🩷🩷

He is so strict with having good health he will make sure to brush his teeth twice a night, floss, sleep (as best he can), eat nutritious food on a regular basis (again, as best he can), etc etc to the point where you can look into books about good life habits and it's literally just him

Though he tries to do things the proper way, he doesn't actually like hanging out with others outside of work (or even during work) and finds it hard to have friendly facial expressions. This, of course, makes him seem ruder than he actually is. Man rarely smiles (nobody knows if he even can smile) and hardly interacts much less talks to others unless they do so first. Even then, he'll make those interactions brief because people usually try to strike up a conversation while Steb and them are supposed to be focused on their work. If it's during their break then. . . yeah lol they'll still be curt interactions

He prefers being on his own, but he tries not to isolate himself because he knows it's important to be around people and socialize (even if he doesn't want to). Part of the reason he doesn't like socializing with others is because he is such a stickler for having certain behaviors and most others either don't or they are too up-tight for his liking. Just because he likes to do things the proper way doesn't mean he wants to socialize with snobby people that claim to be "proper". It makes him feel like he's at work interacting with superiors and in those cases he'd rather be alone than interact with people like that.

You can pry instructional materials out of his cold dead hands—whether it's cooking instructions, assembly instructions, procedures, etc etc he will follow them to the T. He will use those instructions that come with furniture. He's not the type of man to think it's a hit to his ego if he looks at instructions and in fact judges those who do.

Speaking of cooking, he's a mediocre cook. He would be worse, but following instructions helps him not be so bad. The food is good enough to eat and live off of, but it doesn't have enough oomph because his need to stick to cooking instructions can only go so far in making good food and he lacks natural cooking talent. Since he lives alone and he doesn't mind the mediocrity of the food, he doesn't make a great effort to be better. He'll get better with time, but it's not by much unless he gets a romantic partner or someone else who would possibly rely on his cooking skills. (He'll never be a chef though)

He will review training procedures on a regular basis and does his best to learn from each mistake he makes. Each year he has to do mandatory re-training, he makes sure to take it seriously and doesn't assume that he already knows his stuff. In his mind, the annual training is mandatory for a reason (which is true).

Surprisingly tolerant. He'll judge you over your bad habits, but he does his best to have an even temper. It will take a LOT before he loses his temper and when he does he ends up scolding himself over it. Losing your temper, in his opinion, is never a good thing as intense emotions can lead to irrational decisions/actions you may regret later.

Adding on to the previous bullet point, he refuses to lose his cool or raise to the bait when interacting with criminals/delinquents. It's a part of enforcer training that you have to keep a cool head and deescalate a situation as best you can before resorting to violence and threats. As a medic, he knows the importance of keeping your cool in dangerous/intense situations and, as an enforcer, why one needs to make quick observations without bias. Different law breakers will react differently and require different de-escalation methods which is why—

He gets annoyed being paired with someone who thinks being an enforcer means they can do no wrong compared to a criminal and have power trips over capturing a rowdy individual. Not only is it improper police conduct to not properly attempt to deescalate a situation, but it can cause unnecessary harm with an officer escalating a situation to the point of shooting a criminal or a criminal lashing out violently.

Despite others clowning on him for it, he will treat criminals with dignity and refuses to manhandle the criminal no matter how annoying/frustrating the criminal is. This mindset of his came about from hostage training and the motivations behind someone taking a person or group of people hostage. Law breakers may not be the best people, but they're people too and there are reasons why some (nearly all, if not all) people resort to crime. That and he never personally liked to use his power to hurt people—he's a medic after all.

He believes that the duty of an enforcer is to, yes, enforce the law, but also to protect the people. His desire to protect others comes first before anything. He doesn't like to cause harm which is why his main form of weapon is tonfas/batons. He knows how to use more violent weapons, but he'll rarely actually have those weapons on a day to day basis. While others during training were excited to use guns, he wasn't and only focused on the learning aspect of it.

In his trainee days, he was considered a bit annoying for always wanting to get things done the right way and trying to correct the mistakes of others. He did so only to help them (and because he didn't want morons to be in the police force), but there weren't many people who shared his dedication to do things by the book. Nowadays, he won't necessarily correct other's mistakes unless they are under his wing or the mistakes they made were serious.

Throughout his entire career, he is infamous for being a strict rule book follower and it disappoints him that others are so lax while on duty. He's disgusted/annoyed by those who aren't at attention while on guard duty because it only takes a moment of distraction for something horrible to happen.

He's called The Silent Guardian for a reason <33

And it's because he's silently guarding me from insanity

He's the only thing keeping me from losing my mind at work rn

Preach the truth PREACH IT!!!!

“silco did-“ idc “jinx did- “ idc “sevika did-“ idc “viktor did-“ idc IDC i will defend zaunites to the day that i die, idc how many drugs were smuggled, how many rich ppl were killed, how many minds were manipulated, i love them all to death

Them <3

They're like a warm day by the seaside and I love that, love Steb, love Meb/Goldfish/Queenfish/whatever we're gonna make their ship name, love how pretty Mel is

Also love how the fire looks like a fox tail ✓^v^}√

I make troll edits too if anyone is interested in me posting them here. I’m working on the next chapter of All Alone but I’m probs also gonna work on another troll edit cause I said I would. It’s gonna be Branch related (cause I love him and why not 😋💞💞) and I’m gonna make a fic based off it (not sure when I’ll make it tho LOLLLL)

Don't tempt me but I love it

yall yall I made something

WHEN I STARTED SHIPPING MEL AND STEB I IMMEDIATELY IMAGINED THEM TO THIS SCENE

So glad someone actually drew it—I LOVE IT AEVEBSNSKLDMD

Someone mentioned this ship ONCE and it's plagued me

Them being interchangeable 😭😭

(Plot twist: those messages are only a few days apart. Gert wanted to return the favor but Vi just wanted her gf to text back within .5 secs like usual)

BassBreaker (in)correct text quotes pt2:

[Thought it would be used interchangeably imo, HAPPY BASSBREAKER WEEK]

Jinx and Caitlyn ⬇️⬇️

Jinx was about to leave Vi forever but then she heard what Cait did to her and had to come back for revenge

Trust me, I saw it with my own eyes

Caitlyn next time she takes a shower after Jinx finds out she fucked the red coconut head

I hate the CaitVi Sex scene

Everytime I see someone thirsting after the scene and gushing about how it's so hot, I feel so disgusted and ticked cause of how the scene came about and where it's located.

Before we get onto my rant about the scene itself, I want to mention the CaitVi scene that happened before that.

"She saved your life!"

"If you will just calm down for on-"

If you will just calm down for once? Hypocrite. Caitlyn's allowed to be pissy, allowed to call Zaunites animals (oh, "except" Vi though) and then fight like an animal by biting Sevika—

Sidenote:

That's also another scene I don't find hot at all. Any time I see it, I can't focus on how attractive Sevika is when she's smug (even though she totes is). All I can focus on is how Caitlyn bit Sevika. I don't remember who pointed it out, if it was on Tumblr or TikTok which I have promptly deleted since the ban, but someone pointed out that Caitlyn is fighting dirty—like a Zaunite. Caitlyn was backed into a corner, so she fought like an animal.

Fuck her.

I guess now she can somewhat understand why Zaunites fight the way they do. When you're backed into a corner, feeling helpless, feeling desperate, you fight like it and she did the same exact same thing she judged them for.

Bastard.

Lol can you tell I'm feeling bitter over her character?

Back to OG rant

—biting Sevika, gas the undercity and harshly interrogate someone who was a victim of Jinx's shenanigans, hit Vi for trying to calm her down from her grief driven rage, but oh, no Vi must calm down even though she's barely angry compared to when Caitlyn's angry. Not to mention that Caitlyn throws a tantrum herself and throws the tiny figure in her hand to the ground.

"—since you don't trust her enough not to shove her in a box."

Can we please take note of the tremble in Vi's voice when she says that? 'Oh, Jinx brought back her trauma from being in Stillwater!1!2!1' First of all, shut up. Second of all, yeah. . . So did Caitlyn?? Caitlyn may not have known what to do with Jinx, but the option for her to let Jinx go to prison was there and Vi hated it.

"Cait, she's changed."

"We can't erase our mistakes. None of us."

All the while not doing any time of her own for the crimes she committed—and no, I'm not talking about her gassing the undercity. What she did as a dictator, letting Noxians take over, and hardly doing anything afterwards even though she caused so much pain and misery to both Piltovians and Zaunites goes unpunished. Her losing an eye is nothing compared to the fear many people will feel while living under a dictatorship.

Get the guillotine!!

"Who decides who gets a second chance?"

Exactly. Caitlyn did no better than Jinx. She knows it too. It tears her up inside—as it should!!! Besides, did she think Jinx wasn't going to eventually get out of Stillwater? Or was one of her options to let Jinx rot there until she died? Yeah, I'm sure your girlfriend would love that.

Now, let's get to the scene itself!

But first let me talk about what happened right before that—

Vi tries to get Jinx on her side, Jinx rejects her, and Vi watches her sister leave while being told by her that Vi "deserves to be happy" and not to "worry about her anymore".

Yikes.

People say that what happened next with Caitlyn was Vi "finally being selfish", but it just feels wrong to me. Don't get me wrong, Vi deserves to enjoy herself after everything that's been done to her; however, you aren't going to have normal, healthy, healing sex right after seeing a loved one leave you for good.

Trust me lol I've had enough grieving/traumatic experience to know that you can feel upset for hours and won't immediately be able to get into a happy mindset even if you find something to entertain yourself with. You can have people try to cheer you up and you feel a bit better, but you still feel that lingering horrible feeling inside that will eat at you for who knows how long. You could give me Steb wearing the cutest little red panties I have ever seen in my life and I'd still be sad while trying to eat him out. You need to give me that like a day or so AFTER my little breakdown cause I won't enjoy it right after crying about losing my sis.

Sidenote:

Someone please remind me to draw that.

It would take at least an hour for Vi to get back to normal with the way she was reacting. At least. Vi was in that cell for who knows how long, but she was still upset and rather vulnerable when Caitlyn found her. No doubt she needed more time to get herself together.

Okay, now, let's get to the scene itself!!!

Bro, don't fuck me while I'm crying unless I'm crying cause I'm laughing too hard or because of sexy overstimulation. Fuck me? Nah, fuck you.

"I choose wrong every time—and because of it. . . I've lost everyone."

"Did you really think I needed all the guards at the HexGates?"

SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT AWWWWWUUUPPPPPPP—anyway,

Your girl is clearly upset, grieving her lost relationship with her sister (and likely other loved ones shes lost like Vander/Warwick), feeling guilty, and clearly not in any type of good mood yet your first reaction is to smirk???? You think this is funny?? Now is not the time to tease, Ms. Dumbass.

Vi needs compassion and reassurance not. . . Whatever that was. Yes, showing that you knew all along and didn't do anything to stop her shows that you do care for her, but it also isn't what she needs. Caitlyn did not reassure her that Vi wasn't going to lose her so easily.

Mainly because if she did, that'd be a lie, but that's neither here nor there.

"Sorry to say, you've grown a bit predictable."

Girl, you are not sorry. Quit lying. I can smell the smoke coming off your pants, but I'm not getting the fire extinguisher.

Again, this isn't what Vi needs. Any therapist would be able to tell you that you should seek healthier coping mechanisms other than sex. Does cuddling not exist? Does making out and then putting a stop to it because you realize your girl is not in the right state of mind for this exist??? Seeking sex after feeling so vulnerable and horrible about yourself is in no way, shape, or form okay. Shit isn't cute.

Caitlyn, you are more of an animal than you realize.

"Listen! While you were gone, I. . . Saw someone."

All of a sudden you realize that you should stop things because you feel guilty, but that guilt isn't over letting your girl go down on you after being upset and grieving, but about. . . Having another girl while she was gone???? Girl, seriously, your priorities are wack.

She does hesitate for a moment once she sees VI's injury (I can't remember where the injury came from. I stg if it came from Caitlyn or whatever Caitlyn ordered her to do. . .) yet she continues on. There are multiple reasons why they shouldn't do it right then and there, but Caitlyn is so horny she lets Vi pleasure her.

The reasons:

1. Vi is not in the right place of mind, she just lost her sister. Please let her grieve.

2. That is a jail cell. After what happened to her, their first time should be somewhere comfortable. Vi deserves comfort. She deserves to be spoiled. You're in Piltover, Caitlyn has a mansion with a really good bed, but your first fuck is in a dirty jail cell??

3. That is a jail cell that contained her sister. Vi can't reclaim shit about having sex in a jail cell if it's a cell that contained her sister. If there was better writing, she'd feel guilty over having sex in the cell she lost her sister. Her guilt isn't going to immediately go away because of one fuck. That's not how it works. Wish it was, but it's not.

Can I also note that Vi is the one pleasuring Caitlyn and not the other way around? Maybe Vi prefers to eat out rather than be eaten, but I think it just speaks more to her always servicing others rather than servicing herself or being serviced. If the sex scene was gonna happen, at least show Vi being completely selfish and enjoying herself by showing Cait be the one to kiss her down to her coochie. Maybe she's a stone top, but she gives off switch vibes to me.

Fuck you, Cait. Always wanting things to benefit you.

(If it was me, I'd eat Vi out, but, again, that's neither here nor there. . . She's not even in my top favs. I just want the best for her cause I hate Caitlyn lol.)

"I'm feeling fantastic."

FUCK YOUUUU

Okay *drops mic* , rant over