Omg Ao3 Collapsed Cuz Of A Ddos Attack. All The Addicts Are Going Crazy Without A Fix.

Happy Valentines. Im still single.

Haha

Aceness

Um guys. Fellow aroaces.

How the fuck do you find people to date?

Seriously, what f secret am I missing here?

I want love so badly.

my thoughts on the movie

Rocket trip

Soo I liked it so much I colored it!! I’m in love with it. I think I learned a lot about dramatic lightning with this one.

Done on Procreate with a photo of the original drawing and drawing on top of it.

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Thinking of how badly I want this person.

One day we accidentally have the same idea:

After some hours of editing, I put aside the keyboard and look at the clock; 2:30pm. My partner will be back soon, after his shift at the company is done. The last weeks have been tiring for them.

I have time to spare. I walk to the florist, buy their favorite. I walk back and step back in. I notice their shoes by the door and their figure busy in the kitchen, a bouquet of tiger lillies in a vase.

I gasp, they turn. We stare, and laugh. “Jinx!”

We hand each other our bouquets and I kiss them. For some reason, I think their favorite flowers are yellow tulips.

They go well with the tiger lillies, paired up in that vase together. Perhaps they were the flowers we had in our very humble private wedding.

Asexuality: complications

The hardest part about being in the acearo spectrum, is not the alienation or isolation feeling from the rest of people that feel attraction ‘normally’ and the experiences ‘everyone’ relates to. For me, the hardest part is the dating.

Because I actually want a relationship, I want the love and the romance! It’s not that I don’t, I just want it in a different way from what is expected of me, and I haven’t felt anything for anyone in about 6 years! It’s so incredibly frustrating, to hope for that love and know that the chances of me finding another asexual person who I actually feel attracted to and feels the same for me in such a tiny ass country, are minuscule. Or even just any person of any sexuality who is okay with me being asexual and won’t pressure me or feel bad about it or rejected or try to force me or ‘convince’ me into something.

I want the late night cuddles, laying in bed and watching moves together while we share popcorn, I want to hold hands when we’re out outside, go for a hug whenever we want or need to; I want us to turn the lights off and just hug each other in bed while we talk about silly things and giggle, I want to cheer them up when they’re sad and be supported in turn when I’m feeling down; I want to listen to them just talking and be able to smile and just stare dreamily as they do and say ‘I love you’, I want someone who can bear with my rants and the excitement in my eyes when I’ve just read or watched something great and look at me with love and not annoyance or boredom when I do.

I want to hold that someone in my arms tightly all the time, caress their hair, hold their hands, kiss their face when I think they look cute; I want to fluster them and make them stutter, I want us to just be able to walk into the room for a hug whenever, and just leave naturally; I want to hold their hand when we go skating and gently wipe their mouth if they’re eating messily; I want to make them laugh until they’re crying and laugh when they tell a joke; I want to defend them when they’re being put down by someone, I want them to hold my hand and be there to stop me from losing control when my family is treating me like shit, I want us to be there for each other in all ways that we can be.

I want us to kiss if we want to, never feel pressured to, I want us to wake up in bed together in the mornings, legs tangled and feet cold while we get up and make breakfast; I want us to bake cookies together and then get takeout when we’ve forgotten to cook dinner; I want to come home to a dinner in the fridge and someone waiting for me in the couch so we can go to sleep together; I want them to sit on the shower and just let me wash their hair gently; I want to write them little love letters and litter them around the house so they can find them while they clean, I want them to give me flowers when I’ve accomplished something or just because they wanted to; I want us to sleepover and just be close in a non-sexual intimate way; I want to lay my head on your chest and listen to your heartbeat to fall asleep and hold you tight in my arms, just to make sure you’ll be there when I wake up.

But finding love like that is just too hard in these times, and statistically, ny chances are really fucking small. I might have better luck with online dating or if I live in another, bigger country for a while, but that doesn’t make me feel better.

Sometimes the fear of never finding that someone for me just brings me such despair I lay down to cry on my pillow.

GUYS. PEOPLE OF THE INTERNET WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE READING THIS. I’M TAKING DIGITAL ART COMMISSIONS STARTING NOW UNTIL FEBRUARY.

IF YOU’RE INTERESTED, PLEASE MESSAGE ME, COMMENT, ASK ME, OR HEAD TO MY WATTPAD WHERE YOU’LL FIND INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE.

This is some of my stuff. I do a variety of styles, depending on what you want or request.

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Birdie 🦆🦢✨

Study of a white heron for homework. We have been asked in design class to study an animal and a plant and create a hybrid of both. I think I chose a good combination 😉.

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Is it just me, or is tumblr infested with bots recently?

Omg I participated in the 41st CSP Illustration Contest!

It’s my first time ever and I put a lot of work into it. I’m very happy with the results!

I’m now eagerly anxiously waiting for the results

Please check out my work if you like fantasy art!

TUMBLR, I PRESENT TO YOU THE ONLY ARCANE FANART I’VE MANAGED TO FINISH, as of this date.

Took me a while, but I’m extremely happy and proud of this one. All my work paid off, and I think this one has really shown me my progress.

Jayce’s face still icks me though. I KNOW something ain’t right, but I couldn’t figure him out. I’m super happy with Viktor though, it really does look like him.

For some reason I struggled for wAy Too long with Jayce’s face. Like damn. I thought Vik would be more complicated but nope.

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DO NOT ❌RESPOST WITHOUT EXPLICIT PERMISSION.

Evolution

I have recently come to realize that I’m at a stage in life where I find myself attracted to a literary genre I never held any interest in: realism.

Or rather, realism with wondrous things sprinkled in.

Specially like that presented in Japanese literature.

What I’m really looking for I think, is connection. Being able to relate to the story to a deeper level than the fantasy stories I used to be so obsessed with (which no offense, but are usually not written to relate with anyone. YA Fantasy writing tends to be bleak when it comes to the relatable side of things).

I am touched by stories about people struggling through life’s bumps, pushing through as they find connections with others and hope in the little things; perhaps lessons they learned as children and forgot as they aged, or perhaps in magical wonders they encounter.

Slice of life stories are specially entertaining to me now. Broken as I am, there’s a part of me that lights up with stories I can empathize with. It stitches me up a bit inside. Helps hold me together.

There are so many books of this kind I wanna read. Stories that can warm me inside and hold my stitches together.

I never thought I’d become interested in realism (after, you know, literally living through it).

Guess a point a comes where you just wanna know you’re not the only one in pain.