Nikrichard - A Dream For Sale

I asked her who she voted for in 2004, we were discussing politics and religion and that was the first election I was old enough to participate in. I said, Gore, she said that was the year she stopped believing in anything, but she still went to church just in case. She still voted in every election after that just to be safe because she didn’t want to be blamed when things went wrong, and things always went wrong. And knowing she wasn’t the reason why helped her sleep at night. I asked her how she’s been sleeping lately.

She asked, why do you put so much pressure on me to dream when I’m still stuck between feeling lost and feeling free? Forced to get along with those who arm themselves and dream of harming me. Sold me a house with a lawn and picket fence, but made copies of the key so you can come and go as I sleep at night and my dreams can be policed.

I told her I had been struggling with these dreams of my own, on the verge of packing up and selling everything I owned, but it was still too comfortable to pretend.

She told me I sounded like a politician campaigning for an election I knew I would never win, and American woke up a while ago and wasnt letting anymore new dreams in.

But I was just trying to get her attention…

This year I decided to draw my family with cake crowns for their Birthdays. Kings for a day.

Finally got to paint both of my grandparents for their birthdays.

Spam

LoveAndWater: Hi how are you? www.meetmehere.com

NikRich1986: Re: Hey, I’m good actually. Been so long since we spoke. I thought you may have deleted me from your life all together, I guess it’s kind of hard to delete an email address from the internet. It's the piece of technology that gives all relationships their last bit of hope, lol. I saw a wrecked white Jeep Wrangler yesterday and thought about you, us. Hoping it wasnt you inside. I’m guessing you’re ok. How have you been?

LoveAndWater: Do you like music? Click here!  www.mp3fr.com

NikRich1986: Re: I’m always looking for something new to listen to. I’ll check them out. Music has been my only company these past few months. I say, listening to music is like always having a friend around. The thing I like about music is that it always takes you back to where you were the first time you heard it. Like a time machine. But time machines have drawbacks, some parts of the past are best not re-lived. How’s your job? Do you run the place yet?

LoveAndWater: When is the last time you went camping? Check out these deals! www.kayakthroughyourtears.com

NikRich1986: Re: Haven’t been since I was a kid with my dad. I remember we talked about going camping a few times, but it never really worked out did it? Do you still hate nature? lol. I can find us a cool spot in Mississippi and we can cross at least one thing off the list of the many things that we never got to do together. I can finally show you how to fish! October is probably the best month. Are you free then?

LoveAndWater: I just won a new iPod by filling out this survey! www.areyoudeadinside.com

LoveAndWater: Hey, I think my email has been spamming you. Sorry about that! I’m going to delete it so don’t bother messaging again. Thx.

“Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world” =)

NikRich1986: Re: Wow… I guess we haven’t spoken in so long that eventually some part of our subconscious would reach out to each other. Its funny that you can think about somebody hard enough for so long and the universe finds ways to manifest them for you. Its almost like my heart hacked into your computer. Its pretty romantic if you think about it, that’s some real soul mate shit right there. Anyway, call me sometime, or text. I prefer you text. Just to let me know you’re doing alright. 301-5320 Same number it’s always been.

Failure Notice: Message Undeliverable

Where Are You? Please Don't Leave Me Here With These People: a love story

Anybody claiming to be your soulmate is probably a sociopath.

Lovers, Family, Friends + Strangers

We say goodbye, but no one ever leaves us.  They die on the outside, but still live within. Once we love them we become them, and all the people we’ve been with  become all the people we’ve been, and all the people we’ve been  become all the people we are. I know it’s hard to forget about them without losing a part of ourselves with it all. Can I love you and love all the other people you’ve loved? I wouldn’t know where to begin, but I’ve survived hurricanes much worse I’m sure I could weather again. It’s difficult to let go of old people we were when they’re the reasons why we are the crowd we’ve become, but I’ll try to calm the mob in you while adding to your parade, still careful to not let everyone you are  come undone.

"Don't believe in Kings, believe in the kingdom" 👑🔑

WTF?

All that looking and staring and talking and asking and texting and sweating and calling and meeting and seeing and eating and drinking and repeating and trying and lying and promising and touching and hugging and kissing and licking and sweating and undressing and resisting and submitting and letting go and giving in and moaning and cursing and screaming and cumming and going and pulling out and pulling away and questioning and going with it and rethinking and getting dressed and regret and being quiet and accepting and ignoring and cursing and screaming and crying and lying will have you wondering wtf just happened?

Happy Birthday 2Pac

I remember riding the subway in New York around this time last year and overhearing a kid, no older than 15, say "I really look up to Chris Brown. He can dance, he can sing, he paints, he does it all. He's my hero," and my first thought was - poor kid, he is about to have a rough life. Then my second thought was - this is probably how I sounded some 15 years ago when I told my parents and teachers how much I idolized 2Pac, that he was my hero. And he was. I had every album, every documentary, every book, and almost every movie he was in. And luckily for me, I had a mother who didn't condemn my idolization of 2Pac, but would take me to Blockbuster Music on Carrollton to get his newest albums the day they came out. Yes, 2Pac was my hero, and he was an important one because he was the first hero I chose, the first hero that was not assigned to me by my elders. Sure he was flawed, contradictory, extreme, and sometimes vulgar - but he was also unapologetic, genuine, caring, and determined to uplift those in his community. He made songs like "Keep Ya Head Up," and "Smile," and "Dear Momma," and "I Wonder If Heaven Got A Ghetto" that can still put goosebumps on your neck when you hear them today. Sitting here at 29 and looking back on a life that was cut short at 25 almost two decades ago, I still consider 2pac a hero for the impact he was able to make on an entire generation at such a young age. Sure he made some mistakes along the way, but those mistakes I can learn from without exemplifying them. Pac, the world is a dimmer place without you in it, but a much better one for having you here. Happy Birthday. (Takes sip of Hennessey)