Gaud, I Need Pictures, And I Need Them Now

Fox my beloved <3

man... this guy bro

Op change your fucking url

Professor X asks a girl, “what is your mutant power?”

Girl replies: “I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try!”

She points up and says: “3 pulls”

Professor X stands up and pulls 3 times. After the third pull the fan turns off.

Professor X: “Yeah thats cool and all, but not really a super power…”

Girl: “Yeah I was jut kidding, I can heal paraplegics”

Professor X, still standing: “Oh my god”

That’s it, I’m done, I’m closing up tumblr, I will be back the nope of never.

*puts dozens of tiny metal ball bearings up my nose & ears then holds a magnet to the back of my skull so they permeate the membrane of my Brain*

I’m sorry, you what? I-

HOW?

As a teenager I was pretty unimpressed with adults giving each other tours of their homes and kitchens, but as an adult I now understand this is the equivalent of inviting your friends over to see all your toys and that’s chill actually

*slorp*

A tall ghoulish looking man with a green robe and strange symbols on his cheeks comes up to you and says "hey sexy. Drink this"

Would you?

Yo, I want this

All the children born over the last year are going to grow up deeply and profoundly bored with hearing about how they were born during a global pandemic

Because your silly little dance pleases us, jinglely goo.

*opens my 2nd set of teeth*

You mean to tell me it’s not?????

wait wait WAIT is 'board game' not an abbreviation of cardboard game‽‽‽

IT’S A  R  A  T

still thinking bout antique perfume bottles…