Venus! Eugene Roe

Webster mouth appreciation.

Ooh prompt idea: for the ships, who is the one who fills the bathroom with bath, skincare and hair care products and who is the one who uses one product for everything?

oh gosh, this one is too easy, because you  k n o w  who the divas are

WINNIX

when they first move in together, dick is honestly baffled.

how many bottles of cologne can one man have?  they’re all different scents?  he’s not even sure nix shaves every day, how and why does he have so many creams?

nix likes to smell nice, okay.  when you’ve got alcohol literally leaking out of your pores, you’ve got to put in effort not to walk around reeking like a distillery.  it helps that he’s got contacts with this cologne company in paris, and his sister is a bit of a beauty guru who’s constantly gifting him products...

he’s got a collection, okay?   dick has some hair creme and cologne for special occasions, but that’s it.  he doesn’t know what 90% of the things in their cabinet are, and at this point, he’s afraid to ask.

SPEIRTON

speirs hoards hair products.  this...  shouldn’t be a surprise.

lipton didn’t know what conditioner was before meeting speirs.   with all due respect, his hair isn’t the most...  luscious.   all he’s really done before was shampoo it, wash it out, and comb it back.  lip is a ‘meticulously-organized-bathroom-cabinet’ person, not a clutter person.

thankfully, speirs is very organized too.  he color-codes his clutter, so it’s not a big deal.

lipton has a shampoo he’s committed to, a toothpaste he’s used for years, and a cologne he bought ages ago and has worn...  maybe twice.

speirs likes to experiment with different brands and different scents.  it’s all very manly.  he was tempted to buy cherry blossom-scented soap once, just because it smelled gorgeous; he only refrained because it was obscenely overpriced.

BABEROE

babe gets so used to living with his bathroom cabinets overflowing with crap  ---  none of it his  ---   that when bill moves out, taking his many male beauty products with him, it’s a little jarring.

the bathroom cabinets look...  lonely.

it doesn’t help that gene’s, like, really minimalist.  he’s been using the same brands for years, and they suit him just fine.  his four bathroom products, added to babe’s five, and their cabinets are...  pretty damn depressing.

since neither of them are really the “cologne and hair gel” type, babe’s at a loss.  they have to fill it with something...  so, when he’s helping his mom clean out her attic one day, and finds a box of action figures from his childhood, he gets an idea.

gene opens the cabinet the next morning to be met with...  a dozen mini superheroes, and a handful of gi-joes.

and babe’s just getting started.

their cabinets are full of clutter, but none of it’s actually useful.   trinkets babe picked up at the dollar store, cool stones gene found, spare change, little gifts gene’s pediatric patients make him...   they have the most colorful bathroom cabinets, and both are very happy with the chaos they find inside every morning.

WEBGOTT

oh my god, have you seen both of these mens’ hair???  

they need product galore.  they hoard the stuff.  liebgott’s got the silky-smooth texture, but web’s got volume, and they both have their own brands of shampoo they’re committed to.  (web’s smells like kiwi; lieb is a honeysuckle guy.  honestly, they both use womens’ shampoo, and they’re not ashamed of it.)

web also has so much body wash that he frankly Does Not Need.

their shower racks are overflowing, and don’t even open the bathroom cabinet.  weirdly enough, lieb takes better care of his skin than web  ---  he’s constantly nagging web about getting sunburned while out on his boat at all hours.  lieb works hard to look good, and if that means exfoliating cream, he’ll use it.

LUZTOYE

so, neither of them are big on beauty regimes.  joe’s very smart about his deodorant, and takes care of his hair, but he doesn’t go overboard.  george’s hair is more floppy, and one of his sisters is a stylist, so she’s taught him how to take care of it; he’s a got a few shampoos-and-conditioners cluttering the shower, and one always manages to fall on joe’s foot when he’s in there.  whoops.

they’ve also got apricot scented shaving cream.  it was a gift from joe’s oldest sister.  they think it was a joke, but it’s actually great, so they both use it.

and like...  look.  listen.  george got dragged into doing face masks with his sisters once, and now he can’t get enough of them.   his skin is glowing, joe, look at that  ---   his pores can breathe!  it’s liberating!  it’s a miracle!  he’s got a few masks in the drawer, and sometimes if he’s home alone he’ll throw one on after a shower.  joe refuses to be dragged into it as a matter of principle.

our vain boi ron does the 10-step korean skincare routine in the moring and in the evening religiously. his bathroom is very spartan and modern in cool colours but if you were to open (which would never happen, there are traps) the mirror cabinet there, you would see rows upon rows of colorful cutesy korean products with smiling pandas. no one is allowed to enter that room. speirs's skin is glorious and no one knows HOW!?

I FORGOT ABOUT THIS ASK AND IT HAS SAT HERE FOR MONTHS!

Yes. 1000%. Speirs spends more on his skin and hair than some people make in 3 months. He imports directly. He can read Korean. 

No one knows.

No one will ever know. 

Just like no one knows about his sneaker collection or the sheer price tag on his watches. 

Webster: *sees two bees flying around a garden*

Webster: i wonder.,. if....they’re friends..

Liebgott: God, you have beautiful eyes

Webster: aw thats sweet. But everyone tells me that

Liebgott: I’m the only one that’s told you that

Webster: No, I don’t mean in like a flirty way, people are just like “you’ve got great eyes”

Webster: It’s like, i’m just a guy you know?

Liebgott: you know what I take it back your eyes suck

Henry V by the cast of Band of Beards Brothers part one (part two, part three)

[ the midst of battle ]

Speirs, looking down at his feet: What the hell? Yo hold your fire, hold your fire!

Easy Company: *halting, confused*

Speirs: Somebody left an ice cube in my foxhole and it melted and now my sock’s all wet.

Speirs, swinging his gun: Basically who the fuck wanna die—

Band of Brothers as coffee?

as if i wrote this out and tumblr deleted it so here we go again

Winters: a nice cool glass of milk

Nixon: 8 shots of irish espresso via IV drip

Webster: americano bup bup gotta stay awake, fresh, write

Liebgott: a nice cup of joe

Guarnere: What the fuck is a cappuccino

Toye: An Iced Tea

Luz: pours caprisun into his coffee

Doc Roe: chug it boi dont ever sleep a nice mocha 

Babe: No coffee just hot chocolate with whipped cream marshmallows and sometimes a dollop of icecream

Perconte: he just likes to nibble on the beans 

Lipton: just the foam

Speirs: Black Coffee. through a straw if hes feeling fancy

Malarkey: lil Flat White, sip sip

Martin: He just crushes the beans in his hand and sips the juice from his fist

Talbert: Frappacino, no nonsense

Muck: Coffee with salt

Doc Roe really be sliding into other peoples’ foxholes without knocking like : “what’s good, y’all lookin busted af, what we cookin, yo feet whack, gimme morphine, vibes are off, where’s the sizzuhs, what’s the WiFi password?”

Band Of Brothers Modern AU Headcanons

(No one asked for this, but you know what? I’m still gonna do it.)

The guys all live in the same apartment building.

Dick doesnt understand 99.9% of pop culture. You could probably show him a thirty minute PowerPoint about what “ok boomer” means and he still wouldn’t understand.

Dick listens to old country music and Nix absolutely hates it.

Nix works at the local animal shelter and wants to bring a dog home almost every day, but Dick always tells him that the two dogs they have are enough.

Liebgott listens to Indie music.

He’s also the bass guitarist in a band called The Flashbacks.

The Flashbacks mostly cover songs by The White Stripes, Pixies, Metric, Arctic Monkeys, and occasionally Cavetown, but they do perform a few songs that Liebgott has written, including one dedicated to Webster.

Guarnere plays the drums in The Flashbacks.

Webster writes poetry and everyone claims to hate it. (Spoiler alert: they don’t.)

Webster is Instagram famous. (He mostly posts aesthetic photos he’s taken or little bits of his poetry.)

Luz is a huge fan of all kinds of ghosts, demons, and cryptids, but his favorite would have to be Mothman. He even went to West Virginia to look for him once, but ended up not seeing him.

Luz knows all of the lyrics to Take On Me and Tainted Love and sings them when he gets bored. Sometimes he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it.

Toye has a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and used to go boxing with Guarnere every Saturday before they got in a car crash.

Eugene can sing and play piano. Like... Really well.

Eugene has a banana ball python named Peaches.

Babe used to paint a lot when he was a teenager, so now he’s really good at it. His favorite thing to paint is Eugene’s cat, Magnolia.

Lipton owns a small tea and coffee shop.

Lipton’s shop actually brought him and Ron together. Ron was a regular and always changed up his order to make it more complicated so he could stay longer and talk to Lip.

Ron has a rottweiler puppy named Dally and he carries him around in a puppy backpack. They have matching sunglasses.

Ron is a big Outsiders fan. He’s been to the museum in Tusla five times and read the book at least thirteen times. (And yes, he named his puppy after Dallas Winston.)

Shifty sends everyone a wholesome meme each morning to let them know that they are loved.

Shifty works at Lipton’s tea and coffee shop.

Muck eats tomatoes like apples and everyone’s extremely disgusted by it.

Malarkey, Muck, and Penkala like to hide tiny plastic alligators in front of everyone’s apartments. (They always put sharks in front of Webster’s apartment.)

Luz, Babe, Malarkey, Muck, and Penkala are in a group chat called “RIP Vine 😔😔😔” and each member sends a meme every day. It’s been going on for two years.

Everyone always goes to Buck’s football games, even though most of them don’t care for the sport, because they enjoy screaming at the other team.

Luz, Babe, And Talbert are Tik Tok famous.