Tell Me Why Scream Is Just A Bunch Of People Slashing Up Other People In A Mask And Costume Yet I Deem

I can see AlCal doing all of these and it makes me giggle

I kind of wish they had kept certain devily things about Jack. Like how when Kelly was pregnant with him she would burn when she held a bible. Like the juxtaposition of him being so innocent and ✋🙂 ‘hi I’m Jack!’ and then a bible literally lighting itself on on fire and burning in his hands and him being like ‘🙂… huh. Well that’s weird.’

Like I get none of this happens to him because it shows he’s good and not like Lucifer but I just think it would be a cute & funny contrast to him being so clearly adorable to also “oh I can’t wear the priest collars like my Dad’s do. They immediately try and choke the life out of me. Crazy right?!”

Or like the cross thing that Lucifer. He has to keep fixing the ones he passes when he’s working a case in a home so the home owners don’t notice and freak out. Whispering for the crosses with little tortured men on them to “stay!” As he backs away from it. ✝️👀

“How do churches do that thing? Like you know, the thing where the air shifts when you come inside like it’s trying to suffocate you a little bit and there’s like a constant invisible force trying to push you toward the exit? …. It’s just me again, isn’t it?”

Or asking if it’s possible he’s allergic to holy water because it makes him break out into welts when it accidentally gets on him. Dean’s like “…yeah. Allergies. 👀 that’s what it is.”

jack coming back and staring at the "hot milfs near me" and "how do i woo a dilf" google searches from belphegor.

this is a very out of the blue post for me to make, but thirteen hours ago numerous A-list celebrities wrote and signed a thank-you letter to Biden for supporting Israel and lent him their own support as well. if you at any point supported or “stanned” any of these celebrities, now is the time to bring it to a full stop. no matter how much this letter or these celebrities or anyone else wants to pretend that a blatant genocide is a “both sided” conflict, it fucking isn’t, and their vocalized complicity should not be heralded or followed in, and any continued support of them is frankly disgusting. Free Palestine.

hi john winchester quick question - why did you leave salmondean alone in that motel room when you were hunting the shtriga? why would you need to? in the show’s lore - the shtriga works in annual cycles and goes through one town, ONE, each time. meaning that since the creature went after sam, presumably the motel was in the same town where the hunt was. so why did you need to leave the motel for days? where did you go? and moreover - we see in the “now” part of this episode that the shtriga isn’t particular with the order of the children. sometimes it takes the youngest first (two queens kid’s family), sometimes the oldest (the lay me down to sleep girl from the start of the ep) - what was the plan if it’s gone after dean first? sam’s how old here? four? five? you told dean to protect sam, but did you even think that dean might’ve been the first victim?

oh my god wait I need to bring back my violent slapsticknatural posting. like you don’t get it we literally have zero power scaling for how far cas and jack’s healing factors go. we’ve only ever seen them got shot and stabbed , so who’s to say what else they could heal from? like picture this. you’re a monster of the week doing your monstrous business with some monster pals or something, completely unaware of angels or demons or anything else like that, and then in barges this stupid annoying hunter family to ruin the fun.

one of these guys looks like a cross between a gay porn parody of Columbo and a tax accountant. the other is, for one, Staunchly young to be a hunter, and he also looks like he would’ve been plastered on some teenage girl’s wall as a poster with little pink glittery gel pen hearts and initial pluses drawn all around him. maybe even have a major role in a Disney sitcom. gay porn Columbo could put up a pretty good fight but you can take heartthrob out like it’s nothin.’ so you go and work some monster magic beating his ass and eventually you snap his neck like a twig.

your monster buddies run a clawed fist clean through the chest of gay porn Columbo and for a minute he goes satisfactorily limp on their arm. for a minute small town Zac Efron lies on the floor with his head at a horrible angle, looking like a doll that got dropped the wrong way, and for another minute more you hear the jolly green giant and his tiny little Ken doll screaming and shrieking in total agony and because you’re a narrative monster of the week it’s the most beautiful sound in the world. But then something happens. gay porn columbo twitches and jumps back to life with an arm still lodged all the way through his chest, and with a strength even more inhuman than yours he rips it out of himself, groaning with pain but still acting as if he were merely removing an inconveniencing splinter.

your monster buddy shrieks at the touch, then howls in pain as gay porn Columbo just fucking breaks his arm. tiny little Ken doll and jolly green giant are elated but also not very shocked that their pal survived that. hm. you silently make note of that and then turn to face your own kill, only to find the most sickening nauseating sound ever coming from his corpse, like a thick wet grinding, and his head slowly rotating back around like a doll again. to your horror, you realize that his very spine is completely rearranging itself, setting itself back in place and his head is very correcting the angle you sharply pulled it to.

you don’t know what to think anymore. you don’t know what to do. these are hunters, human hunters, hunters are always humans, that’s how it fucking works. it’s never been anything else, it’s not some unspoken rule, it just is the reality of hunters and monsters. the other two guys, jolly green and Ken Doll, are clearly human, and they’re hunters, but then why are they parading around with whatever the fuck these freaks are? And why are these freaks hunters, too? Are they traitors? What the fuck is this? but before you can even move your thoughts into words, you’re gutted and shot and broken along with your monster buddies. as you lay dying, bleeding out, still trying to make sense of everything that just happened, oscillating between darkness and fleeting vision, you hear the gruff voice of gay porn Columbo complaining about his chest pain as if he were experiencing heartburn from a bad pizza. how it takes so much out of him to waste his “grace” on mending clothes along with wounds. then you hear the voice of the annoying boy band clone whine about a headache, asking if the other two guys have any aspirin strong enough for a broken neck.

then you die, and you still don’t know what the fuck just happened.

Sam being adorably weird.

Y’ALL CHARLIE. NO. CHARLIE.

jack