Something Interesting About The Rare Occasions That Sam And Dean Actually Talk About Their Childhood

Something interesting about the rare occasions that Sam and Dean actually talk about their childhood or their parents that I've noticed is how it reveals really how little Sam knows about his own family. Like in s1 when they have to return to their childhood home after Sam has a vision he asks Dean how much he remembers of the night their mother died. Dean tells him he carried him out the house and Sam is shocked at this development; clearly this was a day that they haven't talked about at all. Despite that night being the foundation of what drove John and Dean to even start their relentless hunt in the first place, it was always this unsaid thing that Sam never understood to the same level as they did.

Later in the episode Dark Side of the Moon in s5 Sam is put in the position of a passive observer to Dean's memory of a moment with their mother. Even in this good memory Mary has an argument with John over the phone and Sam is suddenly struck with the realisation that their life pre-Mary's death wasn't this ideal picket-fence family dynamic he thought it was. John and Mary's relationship was strained and even before the age of four Dean was 'cleaning up' their father's 'messes' (as Sam calls it). To me its such an interesting concept because no wonder Sam felt like the odd one out in the family (and this is not considering the whole demon blood freak thing). He was constantly in the position of hovering on the cusp of understanding this unsaid past, which is the key to understanding Dean and John themselves. No wonder he wasn't inclined to be a hunter; to him Mary was was an absence of a mother, and yet to John and Dean it was at the very core driving them to relentlessly peruse this lifestyle.

And its frustrating because neither John or Dean seem to ever want to acknowledge of even try to understand this position Sam's in. Dean continues to berate him for 'abandoning his family', when really Sam was being suffocated under a lifestyle that had been forced upon him, forever unable to fully understand the all consuming grief that came from Mary's death like John and Dean did. To me this idea seems to culminate in Dark Side of the Moon, which is also an episode where Dean frustrated me the most. Because of course I understand why Sam's memories of running away from home and going to Stanford being considered as good memories would hurt Dean - family is everything to him. But it really shows how Dean just refuses to even try to understand Sam's perspective in this. These aren't good memories to Sam because he abandoned his family, they're good memories because they are the pockets of moments in his life where he has ever felt any agency over himself. Sam tries to explain himself to Dean but no it's about as good as justifying your actions to a wall and this is something that Dean has held over his head since the pilot. And then he's apparently so angry that he throws away the amulet Sam gave him?? My god, like I wasn't already screaming at my screen.

These complexities to their relationship really wouldn't bother me so much if every time these interpersonal issues were brought up they weren't resolved with Sam having to acknowledge that he was the one in the wrong. Like I get Flagstaff obviously dregs up some real bad memories for Dean of their father but come on, Stanford?? Surely after this many episodes we can understand that Sam was just perusing something he wanted to do for once. What's worse is that all Sam really wanted out of it from his family was for Dean and their father to be proud of him. He compares their situation to 'normal families' saying that most families would be overjoyed that their son got a full ride to Stanford. And that's really at the crux of all he ever wanted from them... Anyway sorry this is deeply unstructured I just have some Thoughts occasionally whilst watching Supernatural for the first time in 2023. Currently on the first chunk of s7 and jesus the whole shit with Amy is the other Dean thing that has made me yell at him in frustration but I won't open that can of worms. I swear I do love Dean and his messed up complexities... I just like Sam more and find him to be a more sympathetic character (which I am beginning to think is an unpopular perspective but what do I know; I've been watching this show for like a month).

More Posts from Ooyuhgetitig4 and Others

1 year ago

it’s so easy to read gadreel’s behavior in early season 9 as inherently suspicious or nefarious especially when watching for the first time especially ESPECIALLY when it turns out he was lying about his identity but it really does make me go off the wall insane that gadreel escaped from heaven’s torture prison where they’d kept him since the GARDEN and his first action on earth is to go find the winchesters and seek sanctuary with them. i know he’s not, like, selflessly attempting to save sam out of the kindness of his heart, but he is trying to ingratiate himself with the only two humans he knows who might be willing to take in an angel with a bad reputation who wants to find redemption on account of, you know, that’s exactly what they did to castiel. i don’t think he showed up to that hospital with the intent to trick or deceive. dean prayed and said somebody come help my brother and gadreel really truly tried. and when it does come time to offer to trick sam, gadreel fully defers to dean’s judgement. gadreel says god may never forgive me but if dean winchester likes me then maybe that can be good enough

1 year ago

Now I cant stop thinking of demonic Sam post demon blood addiction and killing Lilith. Cas said the amount of demon blood that Sam would need to ingest would change him irreparably yet Sam was normal post s4 finale. Maybe he was thinking of Lucifer but I doubt but God clensed him so maybe he fixed him but eh. So Imagine Sam being permanently marked by the demon blood but not entirely, like it's just subtle enough when he's not drinking it, like his iris are more yellowish but still his usual colour, his pupils are always dilated and theres a thick ring of black around where his iris meets his sclera (whites of his eyes) and when hes drinking demon blood or using his powers the black expands like a usual demons.

Sam has blood that reacts to holy water which makes sam really nervous around other hunters because if the water gets in his wounds hes fucked. Sams able to see hellhounds and other demons who are possessing people. He can walk through most devils traps except when hes been drinking it.

1 year ago

CLAIRE NOVAK!

1 year ago

I made it to About a Boy! I love teen Dean’s actor, he’s amazing


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1 year ago

me shaking whenever jack kline is a child in fanfiction. never ever in the history of Ever did jack show regret for not being able to be a child in the show. he does not want to be a kid, he enjoys the understanding and privilege of being an adult shaped being, and having the boundless knowledge of the universe or whatever. he is the fucking Son of Lucifer Please do Not make him a Literal Child despite him being Three Years Old. yes, he wants understanding of being young and not understanding the nuances of human existence and being naive, i won’t say that’s not true, but he would never trade growing up fast for being a snotty ten year old just stop please thanks x

1 year ago

every time you say jack has the mental age of a baby or a toddler an autistic person spawns in your house to kill you. it’s me. I’m in here and I have something sharp.

1 year ago

Deeply enjoy The Boys/Gen V taking supernatural actors who played very likeable characters and getting them to just let loose being shitty vile characters.

9 months ago

they should’ve had dean realise that there was something wrong with sam when he was soulless by having them come across a clown and sam doesn’t react and dean’s like ???? who are you and what have you done with my brother

1 year ago

So tfw 2.0 have just wrapped up a case when Sam finds another one just a few towns over and since they're already there, they won't call up another hunter to do the job. But Cas, who was so on board for another hunt, is suddenly so cagey about it when he finds out which town specifically and he absolutely doesn't wanna go and keeps making up excuses and Dean confronts him like heyyy what's going on buddy, but Cas being Cas doesn't say anything. Eventually they get there and y'know they do their case thing, and somehow it leads them to going to a church. And Cas is EVEN MORE cagey about this and doesn't wanna go and tries to make excuses but they have a case to solve!! So eventually the four of them walk into the church, Cas dragging his feet the entire way and once they're inside, Jack's like "hey Cas, is that you?" and points to the stained glass self-portrait Cas made as godstiel and everyone turns to look, including other members of the church who were THERE when it happened and Cas can't fly away anymore but he does run

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