tbh a lot of the ways jack’s infantilization pops up is in discourse around him and dean and their relationship , especially after Mary’s death in game night. because everyone’s relentlessly clinging to the idea of jack as a pwecious widdle baby who can do no wrong, there’s this unanimous refusal to give him any accountability whatsoever for anything he does, particularly with killing mary and hurting dean so severely in the process. instead, everyone decides that dean is the bad guy for reacting to his childhood trauma unfolding again after he’d finally healed from it and got her back.
I mean spn fans fundamentally do not see jack as an autonomous person so it only makes sense that nobody can put him on equal footing in any of his relationship dynamics, but to vilify dean for having a very justified reaction to his fucking mother dying again is just an insane thing to do in the name of woobifying jack. yes, it was entirely accidental and yes, Jack is equally as traumatized by it, but that does not take away from the fact that what he did directly emotionally damaged sam and dean.
not only would a lot of fandom discourse benefit from realizing these are literally not normal functional healthy people dealing with normal situations that give them the liberty to approach said situations in normal functional healthy ways (dean promising to kill jack if he needed to in 13x02, & shooting jack in 13x23), but it would also benefit from realizing that jack is a grown ass invulnerable demigod with the capacity to cause a lot of major damage if he spins out of control, and he bears full responsibility for that damage (which is why it is actually so fucking stupid whej I see ppl say that jack becoming a baby would magically fix their conflict. no it fucking wouldn’t, you just don’t see jack as a full person with direct responsibility in said conflict and you don’t care about their relationship actually being healed mutually).
on the other hand, dean was reacting to a presumed threat almost immediately after losing two of his loved ones in a situation directly related to jack. he has every right to be wary and cautious, and given that he is actively traumatized and already an emotionally dysfunctional person from being abused by John, he isn’t exactly going to outlet his trauma healthily or behave in a way that miraculously breaks the cycle John created. I’m getting tired but lastly, ppl should also realize that jack is a grown ass adult with the emotional maturity to understand and forgive dean for the way he acted before—even while Dean actively struggles to forgive himself and tries to be as good a father as possible to make up for it.
Because again, their situation is not normal and they have no way of treating it or reacting to it normally. as far as jack knows and has seen of his powers, he is dangerous and is able to reach a point where he’s too much of a threat to keep alive. the tragedy of it is that he doesn’t want to be a threat, he doesn’t want people to fear or hate him and he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. that’s why he says “you were right all along” in moriah. between dean and jack, a huge facet in their relationship is the question of whether or not dean is right, and by the time they’ve reached a point of mutually seeing each other as father and son that question is up in the air as something neither of them want. jack never wanted dean to be right, and now that dean knows jack as a person and as his own kid he especially doesn’t want to be right anymore.
just. Please start thinking of Jack as an actual autonomous person. That is literally all it comes down to. It will open up your world
I made another uquiz :))
I was thinking about how whenever Dean hugs someone he's almost always the one hugging the other and how this links to his psychological trauma of always being the caretaker of people, making himself bigger to protect them.
Because that's how Dean sees himself, as a shield for others, and then I thought about how Cas actually is the shield, and he's HIS SHIELD, specifically, the only one who's really there to protect HIM, which is why it hits so much when we see this:
The way Cas wraps his arms around him, trying to protect him with his whole body--that he'd use as a shield and give up in a second if he could spare him from any pain and save him.
(for context: Dean was about to go use the soul bomb on Amara there, it was a suicide mission)
Bobby is another one that hits, he hugs him as the big hugger because he's his father, he loves him and he's actually here to protect him (and Dean LETS him -barely, but he lets him *and Cas* - in a way that he doesn't let Sam)
I watched a compilation of Sam & Dean hugs to check if i was right about it, but it's almost always Dean the big hugger with Sam, except when he's about to die or Sam sees him alive again after losing him.
Even then, Dean mostly tries to hug Sam as the big hugger anyway, with at least one arm, like a way to comfort him, making him feel protected, like his body language is saying "I'm here, I'm okay, I'm still strong, i can still protect you" (because their real father failed and Dean thinks it's his job).
He rarely lets himself be the little one hugged with Sam, unless he's barely conscious. Which is why it kills me so much more now that in this moment (s14, when Dean was going to lock himself in the Ma'lak box cause he was possessed by Michael) and Sam has a desperate breakdown and punches him (to stop him) he forcefully hugs him as the little hugger, the way Dean always kept him, like a way of saying "I still need you to protect me, please don't do this to yourself".
In the scene below he gives Sam his blessing to do a dangerous (possibly suicidal) mission, and one of his arms is down, but the other one tries to stay up--he's forcing himself to do it and he struggles because he still wants to protect him, but (as the seasons progress) he slowly becomes more prone to let go.
So in this view the hug dynamic becomes an indicator of how Dean sees Sam (and himself) and his protector role, how adult and self sufficient he considers Sam, and how much he lets people around him take care of him, lowering his walls and letting himself be hugged.
This is also why i think hugs from characters like Garth or Charlie are so special, because they're just like us: they see Dean and they just know that he needs to be hugged a lot, and that he's not used to it, so they just go for it-- and it's so normal and kind and spontaneous that Dean's just not used to it-- he doesn't know how to respond (especially with Garth, at the beginning, but as the seasons progress, he learns to, and he even initiates the hug eventually).
I love the hugs where they're 50/50 (one arm up, one arm down both), feels like they're equals, both taking care of each other. I feel like with Sam and Dean, this indicates a healthier dynamic, because Dean lets go a little of the role that was imposed to him and manages to see Sam as the strong individual that he is. But the same applies to 50/50 hugs with other characters, like with Cas, where I feel like it testifies how equals they feel in terms of being fighters, there's a show of respect of each other's strength that transpires by the gesture (which is even more astounding considering that Cas is literally a powerful angel).
And just to end on a destiel note, I'd like to note the possessiveness and protectiveness of Dean (rightfully so) whenever he finds Cas after he thought he had lost him, and how that translates into his body/hug language:
treat him with care and all the love!!
my toxic trait is that I judge every spn blog I see or meet by their opinions on jack so like if you see me in ur blogs going through specific posts that’s why sorry . I’m like a shark sniffing out a diver but also I’m totally normal okay
I’m on season 12 episode 4 now! So close yet so far from Jack, but hey I’m close to Kelly time!
One of my moots on tiktok told me Maureen Prescott looks like Stu in a wig and I’ve been fucking gone ever since