Showing This To Future Children To Explain WW1

Does anyone else just lay in bed for an hour or so before they fall asleep and generate their own fanfictions? And they are super elaborate and you just sit and go through it and wasting precious sleeping time. Reblog if u do.

You ever read smut that was so well written it had you feelin like you the one that got fucked

(Source)

Thing my brother actually said to me, before smoking weed

Alright, I'm gonna go get stony-bologna

your opponent is the most selected option. please don't spoil anything in the tags

but on the real though, here is your guide to assyrian rice preparation from your friendly neighborhood assyrian:

start wanting rice. (or, if you are traditional, simply recognize your constant desire for rice.)

measure out two cups of rice. then one more. then two more. then another. this seems fine. you love rice. there is no way that this will backfire on you.

remember that your great-great-uncle’s recipe says it should be soaked overnight.

become consumed with despair.

decide to soak it for half an hour instead, acknowledging that the final product will be inferior and anger your ancestors but will still satisfy your now almost-overwhelming need for rice to be inside your body much faster.

remember that you should have set the water to boil when you soaked the rice. goddammit. 

once the water boils, put the rice in until it is half-cooked. the eyeballing or intuitive method is less effective than a timer but that’s how your aunt does it so you feel compelled to meet her standards.

now that the rice has fluffed up, realize how much rice six dry cups really is. holy shit. you’ve fucked up immeasurably. 

take a minute to dwell upon your failings.

grease a baking dish with butter. this will never be as elegant as you want it to and your fingers will get greasy, but the slightly shameful, self-indulgent joy of licking your fingers afterwards will make up for it.

pour the rice into the dish. wonder immediately if you actually buttered the dish beforehand and if you’ve just fucked up. 

melt approximately one thousand pounds of butter in the microwave and pour it over the rice, pondering your imminent death from rapid-onset arterial clogging. put a small pat of butter on the top to properly gild the lily.

put your pan into the oven, which you have absolutely preheated after your previous lack of foresight. shake the rice once or twice while it bakes to make sure the butter is well distributed. resist the impulse to climb into the oven with the rice. for the last ten minutes, sit next to the oven and count the seconds until it’s done.

remove the dish from the oven. shed a tear or two at the perfection laid before you. if you are dining with others, this is the time to serve the rice while making passive-aggressive statements about how oh no, you don’t need any help, you just made dinner all by yourself, you can serve everyone as well. (this is still fun if done alone, but optional.)

CONSUME THE RICE.

realize that you have eaten half of the dish in one sitting. no matter how much rice you made, this will always happen. 

put the leftovers away, if there are any, and enjoy a cup of chai while marveling at the amount of food you have just eaten. if possible, fall asleep in an armchair, sitting up, head tilted slightly back, like a grandpa.

for the rest of the evening, think fondly of how much rice you have in the fridge now and how many meals it will supplement, refusing to acknowledge that you will almost certainly eat the rest of it in a few hours for a midnight meal.

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Notify you if a website you're on has employees that are on strike

Bypass paywalls for major news outlets like the New York Times

Change the browser theme based on the time of day

Directly install third party non-extension scripts

Save individual browser sessions to be reopened at any time

Use the TV format of YouTube in-browser

Make all chrome extensions compatible with Firefox

Turn YouTube dislikes back on

Fix Twitter and make it way less fucked up

Automatically remove trackers from URLs

And many more!

Feel free to add any other firefox extensions you think are slept on.

My life is complete

I’M ABOUT TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER, BOOK NERDS

Do you like books!?

OF COURSE YOU DO

Do you like reading books?

DUUUUUH!

Do you collect books and let them sit on your shelf!?

WHAT IS THIS!? AMATEUR hOUR? OF FUCKING COURSE! 

Do you spend WAAAAAAY too much money on books even though they’re totally worth it but holy fucking shit fifteen dollars is the median and why is the world so effortlessly cruel?

Who’s got two thumbs and an empty wallet! Yes yes and yes!

WELL HAVE I GOT A SOLUTION FOR YOU

Thriftbooks is an amazing online site that sells used books! These books are, for the most part, in great condition. I’ve used this website for everything from textbooks to fiction to everything else in between! It has a wide selection with an even wider selection of options per book!

You want softcover? They’ve got it! Hardcover? Of course! Audio? Why not!

Hell! They even sell the books in other languages!

You might say to me, humanity, why are you telling us this? We already have barnes and noble!

Because, my poor, naive friend, thriftbooks sells the majority of it’s books for under four dollars.

That’s right. You heard me. Under. Four. Dollars.

And right now, they’re having a huge deal!

2 books for $7

3 books for $10

4 books for $12

But wait! There’s more!

If you leave a book in your cart for long enough, chances are you’ll be alerted when a seller nearby, for a cheaper price, has the same book! You’ll get it cheaper and faster, with less waste of paper and time!

And prices change! That book that would have cost you $3.79 one day might be $3.45 the next, and man oh man isn’t that the best thing to see when you check up on your cart.

So what are you waiting for, book lovers! Go! Go shop!

Go and rule the world!

Be the book lovers I know you can be!

okay i need everybodys opinions on all of these foods: pineapple pizza, avocado, hummus, candy corn, nutella, and dark chocolate

Must reblog

i went looking for the comic that the reaction image is from and i am not disappointed