I Have Been Very Disappointed

Imagine your otp

List of Non-sexual forms of intimacy

Regloging for personal reasons

When you’re writing aND YOU CAN’T FIND THE RIGHT WORD

WHY DID I NOT FIND THIS YEARS AGO!?!? Also, if, in the days before your period, your privates are itchy and a tiny bit of clear stuff is showing up in your undies, you got a yeast infection. Didn't find out until recently what that even was. If you're like me and my mom, you may get them before your period (every. freaking. time) but it's fine. They go away on their own eventually, but you can tell your doctor you have a yeast infection and they'll give you a prescription. Don't remember what it's called, but they'll know. You take one pill, then it's gone by the next day

Stuff that may happen on your period no one told you about.

So there was a lot of misinformation, and just a huge lack of the nitty gritty stuff, when I was in school and I see a lot of young kids on forums asking if something is normal or worrying about stuff and adults who have wondered their whole lives if other people feel the same on their periods. 

Here’s some stuff about periods people might not talk about;

It can smell. But using scented pads isn’t a great idea, the chemicals in the perfume cause irritation. But here’s the thing; vaginas smell. All of them. All the time. Right now. YOU notice the smell because it’s literally part of you, but other people don’t. If it’s a foul smell and very strong you should speak with a gynecologist, but the average day-to-day odor is normal and doesn’t mean you’re dirty. 

Diarrhea all day every day.

 Or, alternately, constipation all day every day. 

ALSO alternatively, a healthy mix of both sprinkled randomly across the days of your period like too much nutmeg where no one asked nutmeg to be. 

Your first period might not look like a period at first. It might look, well, brown, and lead you to other conclusions about what’s going on in your skivvies. Then it might not come again the next month and show up on a totally different week when it does. Mine came like A LOT. It was very heavy and I bled through a pair of jeans in the middle of school it was so heavy. I didn’t know what it was and thought I was bleeding from my butt because my liar teacher said a period would only be a ‘tablespoon’. Tablespoon of lies. 

At some point your probably going to stain the back of the toilet seat with blood. That doesn’t mean your bleeding too much, or that your dirty, but it’s a tid bit of information I wish I knew as a kid so I could have known to look for it when using public restrooms or at friend’s houses. 

Period farts. 

Having sex on your period isn’t gross or dirty or wrong. Put an old towel down on the bed and have at it.

The feelings you have on your period are entirely valid and not imagined or unimportant because of your period. Whether or not your feelings are heightened by PMS they are still your feelings and should be respected. 

The ‘average’ period is anywhere from 3-10 days with any variation in flow. You shouldn’t be concerned because your period isn’t the same as your friends is, only if it changes from what’s average for you. There isn’t such a thing as a ‘normal period’ you need to fit into.

If you wear a disposable pad there will be a point where it’s going to unstick at some corner and when you pull it off it’s going to pull some of your pubic hair with it. This is going to suck. I am very sorry. 

If you wear a tampon there is going to be a point you will squeeze it out of yourself when you use the bathroom. Just change your tampon each time you go. Please listen to me on this. 

Swamp butt.

You will get blood stained thighs at some point. It’s going to cake onto your skin and make a mess just everywhere. 

The cashier doesn’t care about you buying pads/tampons/etc, they just had a guy buy 4 pounds of carrots, a box of Xtra Large ribbed condoms and cherry scented lube. Your pads are not on their radar of things to care about.

Washing Your Junk:

When you shower (if you want a bath i’d shower before hand or dont wash in the bath itself and shower after to get clean) remember you are not actually washing inside of your vagina, you’re washing the skin around it (labia, clitoris, all those good bits). Using a soft wash cloth with either very mild unscented soap or just warm water.  Seriously, stop putting washing products inside yourself; You do not need to wash the inside of your vagina and doing so can cause infections. Unless given products by your doctor there is no need to douche or use creams or wipes or other stuff like that. They’re lies sold to you to make you think you smell bad. 

 You know how your parents said ‘wipe front to back’?Same with washing, you don’t want to drag butt germs all over your vagina. Don’t do it. 

Some people find that trimming, or shaving, their pubic hair helps them control odor, or makes wearing sanitary products more comfortable, but it isn’t required and is personal preference with different individuals. There is no health benefit to shaving or trimming your pubic hair and it will not make you cleaner than if you didn’t shave. 

Wearing light breathable cotton undies during your period will help eliminate odor and not give you swamp butt. Especially in the summer. 

Washing after sex is a great idea and not just because it’s romantic. If you’ve ever had period sex before you will k n o w but if you have not I am going to just ask you to take my word for it and plan a shower afterwards. 

Feel free to tack on other stuff if you want. Tell me all your period secrets. 

Found this on my campus, couldn't stop laughing

Rebloging for the next time I need cheesy pick up lines

Hit on my muse

Are you an interior  decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful.

Did  you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.

Do  you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

If  I were a stop light, I’d turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could  stare at you a bit longer.

If you were a  vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber.

There  are people who say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently,  none of them have ever been in your arms.

Are  you an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids.

Are  you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me  feel like I should take you out.

I  was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I’m  going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

I’m  not staring at your boobs. I’m staring at your heart.

Can  I take your picture to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?

Your  body is 65% water and I’m thirsty.

My  doctor says I’m lacking Vitamin U.

Can  I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.

If  I were a cat I’d spend all 9 lives with you.

Smoking  is hazardous to your health… and baby, you’re killing me!

You  must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.

Do  you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the  world!

You  know I’d like to invite you over, but I’m afraid you’re so hot that you’ll  skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.

If  I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer  to this question?

Are  you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.

I  bet you $20 you’re gonna turn me down.

I  like Legos, you like Legos, why don’t we build a relationship?

Would  you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?

There’s  only one thing I want to change about you, and that’s your last name.

Did  you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!

Can  I borrow your cell phone? I need to call animal control, because I just saw a  fox!

I’m  no organ donor but I’d be happy to give you my heart.

Kiss  me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?

Do  you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

You  see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I’M  cute.

Can  I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.

Are  you my phone charger? Because without you, I’d die.

Are  you a cat? Cause you are purrrfect

You  know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Not in my  case.

My  lips are like skittles. Wanna taste the rainbow?

I  have an “owie” on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?

Hey baby, I must be a  light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!

Do  I know you? Cause you look just like my next girlfriend/boyfriend.

Have  you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?

Was  your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?

Apart  from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

Is  it hot in here or is it just you?

I  blame you for global warming… your hotness is too much for the planet to  handle!

You’re  single. I’m single. Coincidence? I think not.

Stop,  drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.

Baby,  you’re so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.

I  hope there’s a fire truck nearby, cause you’re smokin’!

I  just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.

If  you were a burger at McDonalds, you’d be McGorgeous.

Your  hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you.

You’re  so hot, I could bake cookies on you.

Is  your car battery dead? Because I’d like to jump you.

I’m  lost. Can you tell me which road leads to your heart?

It’s  a good thing I wore gloves today. Otherwise you’d be too hot to handle.

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!?!?

Where’s Wally...

To normal people:

To Disney/Pixar fans:

To Young Justice fans:

This is the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life

I have never seen grape ice cream.

I'm sorry guys, but I think this is a cat blog now...

Reblog cause I love cats