I Have Learned That People Say They Want Me To Be Myself, But They Rarely Ever Mean It.

I do actually own two!.

A ‘Meade Polaris 70mm Refractor‘ that my father previously owned and a ‘Celestron NexStar 8SE’ that I bought myself.

Hello, Adam. I was wondering if you have a favorite flower or plant or a favorite animal?

-Duncan.

Good evening Duncan!.

I do have a favorite animal.

Raccoons. Definitely raccoons. They’re highly intelligent, their problem-solving skills are impressive, and they have these incredibly dexterous little hands. Did you know that they can remember solutions to tasks for years? And they wash their food before eating it, which is both practical and oddly endearing. I often go to watch a family of raccoons at a park near me. They bring me joy.

As for plants, I think carnivorous plants are fascinating. They literally evolved to defy the usual order of things—plants aren’t supposed to consume animals, and yet, here they are. The Venus flytrap, for example, counts the number of times its trigger hairs are touched before closing, like it’s verifying the presence of prey. That kind of adaptation is remarkable. If find that they have a philosophical aspect to them.

Nothing feels real anymore.

EVERBODY always lies to me and I am stuck feeling like an idiot because I care about honesty. Why does nobody ever mean what they say? What even is the point in saying anything then?.

That seems like an unnecessary comparison. Helen of Troy caused a war.

I just sat in a chair and read a book. But if you think beauty alone can tip the scales of history, I won’t argue.

Besides, I think I don’t mind being the cause of your awe. It’s nice.

Beth was over today. She took this picture while I was reading and said I should post it.

So I am.

Beth was over today. She took this picture while I was reading and said I should post it.

So I am.

Nigel, you’re the one I meant.

One advantage of communicating online instead of in person is that if something somebody says flusters or overwhelms you, you can just choose not to respond.

You can pretend you didn’t see it at all. I think that’s handy.

OOC: Have you ever written fanfic with Adam?? You rp him in a way that expresses his emotions and autism really well without infantilizing him or making him unfeeling and robotic, which is something I tend to see (they probably don't mean it in a harmful way, just misunderstood the character) and it's perfect! I really enjoy the way he's portrayed on this page, and I think the way you write in general is very pleasing

OOC: My god, this made me so happy to hear <3

I always try my best to immerse myself in his headspace.

And to answer your question—I’ve actually never really written fanfiction. Well, that’s not entirely true, because I kind of did with my girlfriend years ago 😭 (lol). I do write a lot, but I’ve never really put anything out there.

I have been thinking about maybe posting something on AO3 (may I be protected from the writer’s curse), but my biggest struggle is coming up with a storyline. Once I have a rough idea of where the story is going, I can fill in the details and start writing—but starting from scratch is kind of tough for me.

So if you have any ideas you’d like to see, please feel free to share! I’d love to take any suggestions into consideration.

the day people stop treating me like a child is a day i’ll never see, apparently

What made you decide to get back with Beth? I thought you were doing pretty well, especially with Nigel. I think we all just want to make sure you're truly happy with this decision.

I don’t know. I think I want to be left alone. I don’t want to answer any more questions about this…

Do you even skoke?

Do I Skoke ?

I don’t feel that way with you though.

I never have so far.

I have learned that people say they want me to be myself, but they rarely ever mean it.

They mean: be myself, but in a way that makes sense to them. Be myself, but not so much that they have to rethink anything. Be myself, but not in a way that makes them wonder if they even know me at all. In a way that won’t embarrass them. And now I’m the one hesitating, trying to figure out what I’m apparently not giving—something I wasn’t even aware was missing.

And I have to wonder if I’m the one getting it wrong.