“The Magic Of Your Waters... Sweet And Refreshing. The Majesties Of The Wonderland That Is Your Body,

Let him be the first...

That you tell how you feel, honestly and completely... the sweet and the salty...

A number have wanted to hear you speak that freely, from a place they believe exists within you and they admire, are astonished by, fantasize about...

It is something each of them, directly, indirectly, wishingly and/or needingly sought/seek from you... a confirmation, a correction, an acknowledgement, an expression of...

That...

That culmination of your beauties, that sounding of your intentions grander than themselves, that display of your alluring mysteries, that momentum of your irresistiblities...

That unpronouncable word pronounced only by a bookay of emotions blooming in sync...

That familar song only heard in the vacuum of one’s chest that was once occupied by the air that pressure sealed my vulnerability, cadenced by the upbeat rythm my heart is now beating as i am faced to admit how you’ve captured me...

That unearthly draw, as though my purest joy is now a body of water that i bathe in, fearless of its endless depths, awaiting day to turn night to day - but not for the apppeal of the sun of the colors of the sky... but for the movement of, the tiding of my joys - atuned to your gravitaional pull on my world...

My...

I mean, Their...

I should stop while I am ahead. But know, there is more to the point.

-Pati3ntWo1f (07202020)

While Listening to https://youtu.be/R7a6sr45YmE

While listening to ‘It’s You’

If we were to only get 9 minutes … this lifetime… only 9 minutes more of each other… I would spend 8 minutes and 29 seconds making this song our immediate reality, this rhythm the metronome to our hearts intertwining dance, these chords as emotional fireworks bursting in the splendor and beauty of our chemistry…

… and enjoying all else we give freely to each other…

And the last 31 seconds… I will spend holding you with endless intent, and infinite presence, and present purpose … and repeatedly whisper these words - gently grazing your lips with mine as I repeat -

“I’ve Loved You & Will Love You Forever. I Will Find You Every Lifetime. I’ve Loved You & Will Love You Forever. I Will Find You Every Lifetime. I’ve Loved You & Will Love You Forever. I Will Find You Every Lifetime.”

… until I’ve exhausted each fraction of our 9 minutes, …

and with your scent in my nose, your taste on my tongue, your voice in my ear, your aura in my sights, and your unmistakable energy surging over my flesh… I will begin my way back to you… again, and again, and again.

-Pati3ntWo1f (02082022)

No Makeup

“And everything that makes you attractive is still on display and seen and recognized to be no less inspiring and enticing than when u powder, perfume, prompt and pose”

-Pati3ntWo1f

Beauty of Bubbles

I’m feeling as though I need to be brutally honest. Not with the intent to be brutal... and I don’t want to over-rotate, but... to be honest to the point of risk... and then into risk. Because without the risk, there is no - ... no highs, just minor swells of in-between. Like there are still lows - No risk and still Lows - but the highs...? I mean, maybe occasionally... short-lived. When we do and don't know how.. its like when two distinct complex patterns momentarily synchronize - or seemingly so. Empty bliss... enjoyably empty gestures... the beauty of bubbles. We float - mystifyingly so - reflecting the world as it is not. Empty and fragile... to burst with no pieces to collect and build again, ... just gone. Because our film was so thin, lacked substance, weight... lacked the consistency of that which comes with risk. The beauty of bubbles... the effortlessness, the carefree, the whim... the ability to disappear... due to a consistency made to wash clean. Because what you risk... sticks and gums and clings and spills and soils and stains, has substance and mixture and composition, leaves residue - evidence it was there, of it’s presence... of attempt... to be something... more than - ? ... beauty of bubbles.

-Pati3ntWo1f (11012019)

A Poet’s Chance - 1am & 3 Hour Drive (10.25.20)

The second verse AND how he sings it... and how it feels while i listen to it rn (after watching a 25min doc how this song was made - Netflix) and after that feeling, that all-ness in my chest we all call our heart (the idea)...

and the sensation like drinking ice cold water after having a peppermint... or breathing in freezing air while not dressed for the weather and its like with each breath you can feel your entire respiratory system... but, place that feeling in your heart (the idea) and feeling the gap, the hole in the all-ness... and feeling it whistle as your breathing cadence slows and deepens and swells as you sense it... the missing…

Its space

Its empty volume

And the phantom feelings faintly teasing, haunting, ghosts of what was... what I used to be able to and did feel

... the thoughts ... they echo like questions ... with no response, just these feelings, imaginings, swells and hollow whistles…

And the song repeats, again

I’ve lost track of how many times, because I set it, intentionally to repeat... and trap me here…

Because I felt it... i feel it... and morbidly am too excited to feel the

All-ness of my heart (the idea) again... that i am sorrowfully enjoying

The cold air exposing the hole, the missing, the empty space of me.

-Pati3ntWo1f (102520)

Employed (unfin)

Could you imagine if i got payed to think about you? Punching the clock and Putting in overtime till my body collapses, then recoup. Earn a promotion from Imagining to Listening to you. Not a word, just observe and learn your truths, study your flukes, research your muses and play witness to your beauties...

Could you imagine if i got not noticed by you... the CEO, President, CFO, Sole Proprietor, Founder, Goddess, My Queen? Elevated from Listening to Consulting... working towards Sharing, but right now i must prune and harvest and glean the cropping seeds of my own soul’s soil, in hopes that the fruits i bare become more than enough for me, and begin to be enough for us.

Could you imagine, now that I’m Allowed to insert opinion, i earn acceptance via my quality, not my frequency.... - unfinished

-Pati3ntWo1f (10132019)

FOMO of the senses, pt. one

Blood rushing

Desiring our bodies to mimic what we do with our eyes… and our words

For it to feel a portion of what our souls sense

Of my senses, touch has FOMO with you

And is jealous of my other senses that are teased through our interactions

- pati3ntwo1f (081524)

It is innate, an unthought action that comes automatically, an impulse with meaning and a goal, an instinct...

To gaze back with the intensities of fear and intrigue and excitement and belonging, to anticipate the risk and its thrill, to be entranced ever so helplessly yet ever so willingly, to respond...

Of the spectacle of sparks continuously reflecting your passioned outlook on me and this world, of being within heats’ range of burning desire’s furnace tempting such cure from my heart’s cold, of the nature that attracts moth to flame i am also beckoned and baited and boisterous, of my own impassioned and sincere convictions...

And yearn to dance within the radiance of your cinders and ambers, and tempt fate by how closely i position myself to rest and stoke your fires to flicker as though enraged with enjoyment, and crave the lullaby of your luminance and caress every hue of you with adoration and acceptance, and approach your goddess with agape and adventure and without admonishment.

- Pati3ntWo1f (100220)

Statement of Intent

You okay if I take some of that weight on my shoulders and I intent-fully commit myself to your honest expression - as a form of homage to self, respect, recognition, reverence, release, restructure, renew, reenergize, … and potentially so many other plusses that there can be no minus….? May I? Yes?

Statement of My Intentions:

I intend to not pressure but be an available reminder. I intend to not burden but to ease. I intend to not limit or define or expect. I intend to accompany, to balance, to provide presence and mutuality. I intend to do more by doing less. I intend to serve and not be served. I intend to stand in the gaps where i fit and be a reinforcing echo of your own intentions. I intend to be weightless but felt as support, safety, encouragement, reassurance. I intend to be complimentary and accepting of you as you are, however you are, wherever you are (in mind or spirit or emotion) at any given time.

- pati3ntwo1f (080322)

“I feed my angels and my demons. Set them at a table before me and we all feast. Each flashing tooth and fang and clawing for their choice morsels to be selfishly consumed. It's interesting how often their influence subsides and their interests change and move on, once they’ve sampled what they desire. I am slave to no vice. Our satisfactions and displeasures will forever change. See, the awakening I’ve come to is this… my angels, my demons, they are MINE. So I nurture them and discipline them the same, as though pets or subservient subjects to my Mastery and Sovereignty.” - Pati3ntWo1f