“It Is Like I Have A Cast Over My Heart, And A Sling To Hold It In Place. Hidden. Unseen Behind The

Our Present Progressive

On the first day... they met, they were both completely there in that same place, right then. They touched. They kissed. They held. They dreamed...

On the second day... they were comfortable there, belonged there, completely there in that same place, right then. They grasped and gripped. They pulled close and encompassed. They took turns sucking lips and losing themselves in the other’s gaze. They fantasized...

On the third day... they were not there, but they were in the same place, completely, and had always been. They consumed and were consumed. They shared breaths and were one flesh. They were the fuel for idea, the stirring of the soul, the boundless of the body. They became into becoming and never left... a present progressive defying confines of time and structure... They sparked, created and made, they are...

Loving...

-Pati3ntWo1f

Well…

Just bathe in my praises. Soak in them. Let them warm, rinse, clean… play in it, rest in it… submerge yourself at will, float on a whim, dip whichever and all the parts of you on a want. Praises will keep flowing from my lips. My well of expression will never run dry. It’s yours!

- pati3ntwolf (07092023)

Retracing: I miss you too

I trust that upon a kiss i will taste a flavor that i have unknowingly longed for all my life.

That upon a hug i will feel the comfort my mother always wished for me.

That i will smell of you a scent from my last and our future.

And that i will feel... while interlocked with your body, your skin...

The meaning of Heaven on Earth, the fruitfulness of milk and honey and something promised, the vastness of our potential and the lack of limits before US... i will feel our destiny.

-Pati3ntWo1lf

#pati3ntwo1lf

So even-though it is torture, because my dream cannot be completed... i will do it anyway, because the dream is worth enough, worth the pain and burden of never being fulfilled... and those few moments - although incomplete - are so enriching and magical. If i am left to only feel partially and woefully, then so be it, because i cannot deny my desire to feel. I’ll be the sad story and tragic ending that troubled souls cure their moments of loneliness in, when they hear it or see it. I’ll be the warning of what to avoid and how lifeless and bleek things can really get. I’ll be the bottomless abyss, the void, the emptyness and hopeless and romantically make them my home... and the opaque that, by contrast, gives the heroic, redemptive, compassionate, enduring, triumphant, joyful, desirable, fulfilling, optimistic, happy-ending stories their array of emotional fragrance, their textures of enjoyability, their sweet palpability and enticement - their thrill, their signs of life and worth living.

- pati3ntwo1f (091120)

GO WEIGHTLESS

Grasping for your energy right now... to pull over me like a thin blanket, and curl up in our magic... laying before a fan gently blowing fantasies across my mind... beneath a ceiling that displays the dancing ambient flickers of this candle - scented “The Best of Us”...

Let my desires be a pillow for your mind to rest on... the rhythm of my touch to lullaby your anxieties... the whispered ramblings of my love for you keeps your body afloat and boyant on a bed of continual beloved becomings... the gentle sincerity of each kiss i place on your forehead remind you that this dream is real... and each kiss of your lips takes your breath as you go weightless...

-Pati3ntWo1f (08192020)

Lead you... to Us.

- - - - - - > us < - - - - - -

You cross my mind everyday

I want what comes next

An awakening release

I want that too

Two givers: Giving intent-fully, purposefully.

Two givers: Reciprocating, Appreciating.

Two givers: Learning to be selfish with one another, selflessly spoiling the other...

(with attention, detail, effort, ease, complimentary being - being me bringing myself to the complimentary degree necessary to balance with thee and always bring us the complete 360)

... After you.

So ready

And waiting, patiently

And wishing, anxiously

I need my turn to hear it...

To earn the emphatics of how i’ve compelled you to say it - To hear you make it yours...

(Then exceed those limits together as you give me a name of your own... And known words lose their worth, when compared to the value of how we are sharing our minds, bodies, energy, ourselves... We create a new language unique to us, written in passion, uttered in pleasure, understood spiritually, experienced entirely)

... Soft voices because we are always so close,

Countless smiles because your presence brings me joy,

An endless hug... always enwrapped in eachother... be it fingers, lips, arms, legs, bodies, minds or souls.

Any combos they can produce, We will surely create more.

Lemme please you beyond request?

I’ll lead you there...

... to Us.

(And the place where we defy time and space and self... Where our love making is an evokation of greater truths within ourselves... As my intent drips from my lips and is whispered into your flesh... as our rythm and intensity satisfy and soothe you into being in two places at once - As one flesh with me, And of the guided meditation I'm speaking into your skin... somewhere between your collarbone and where your jawline meets the lobe of your ear).

-Pati3ntWo1f (07262020)

Prompt: worshiping her as an idol

I play, I praise, I work to churn her buttermilk to cream, whipped/ her presence is a celebration, her arrival is a gift/ i only crave what she supplies, rebuke what she denies/ seek blessings from her lips, find salvation between her thighs/ her touch and whispers are my holy scriptures, her embrace and moans are my hallelujah hymn/ in truth, genuineness, and intent she receives me as i am, grace and sin/ in her i want, i desire, i am fulfilled, for she is vital/ the only goddess i know is love, only love i know is you... in full bloom, when worshipped as an idol

-Pati3ntWo1f

Questioning Butterlfies

“After the determined caterpillar climbs its heights and death defyingly dangles from its limbs and commits to a CrossFit Games effort to cocoon itself… there is nothing to say that its cocooned transformation is painless. In a state too vulnerable for the everyday elements it exists in, left with a shield like barrier and itself, it submits itself to a process that literally resculpts its entire being. And there is no evidence that it just slumbers peacefully; or basks - spa like - im a sauna of in-depth and intrinsic and intimate transformation. Physically and mentally. This being is being equipped to fly. One, that could only walk, is now expected to be adept to and have the awareness of one whose means of transports is inexperienced and virtually unfathomable. And there is no evidence that this transformation is painless. As such, I no longer imagine or anticipate my transformative moments or years to be pleasant, or calm, or comfortable. I now prepare for the fears of vulnerability; the burns of recasting my metaphorical heart; the blunt traumas of forced change; the spasms of exhaustion; the fatigue of trying to understand and link past, through my present into my future. And there is no promise that I can even fathom the awareness, comprehension, and/or the innate instinct that i will become. I wish that I could ask the transforming caterpillar: ‘What keeps you going? Do you even know what a butterfly is? Do you even want to change?’ Because I have been burdened, I have climbed and begun to cocoon myself (out of instinct, off of reaction) and amidst being fully committed to seeing this transformation through - I’m finding myself vastly under-aware and under-prepared… and that is slowly becoming okay. I remind myself to, ‘Trust your Nature’... and then… forcefully Trust my Nature , again… until I have transcended form - anew.” - Pati3ntWo1f (09132019)

Be You!!! Astoundingly, bountifully, compassionately, distinguishingly, energetically, fluidly, gratefully, heiressesly, instinctually, jubilantly, knowingly, lavishly, momentously, naughtily, optimistically, purposefully, qualitatively, reverently, saturatingly, thoroughly, unequivocally, vibrantly, wholely, x-marks-the-spot-ingly, zestfully, You!!!

-Pati3ntWo1f (091520)

“I feed my angels and my demons. Set them at a table before me and we all feast. Each flashing tooth and fang and clawing for their choice morsels to be selfishly consumed. It's interesting how often their influence subsides and their interests change and move on, once they’ve sampled what they desire. I am slave to no vice. Our satisfactions and displeasures will forever change. See, the awakening I’ve come to is this… my angels, my demons, they are MINE. So I nurture them and discipline them the same, as though pets or subservient subjects to my Mastery and Sovereignty.” - Pati3ntWo1f