Cray… How A Few Typed Words Spark Anticipation’s All-be-it Accepted Agony

FOMO of the senses, pt. one

Blood rushing

Desiring our bodies to mimic what we do with our eyes… and our words

For it to feel a portion of what our souls sense

Of my senses, touch has FOMO with you

And is jealous of my other senses that are teased through our interactions

- pati3ntwo1f (081524)

To the present day “Joanna”s:

On behalf of those with your ear and not your attention; towards the benefit of those with your attention and its spoils; for your health and happiness; because of our unheard desires: see thyself as those with your ear do -beautifully badass. Let not your heart wander so far as you to forget that... for those with your ear turn to whispers the farther away you drift, and those whose possess your attention are not promised to be attentive.

Don’t lose sight of yourself; nobody in this world is worth you losing your shit. There’s no reason to act jealous, be possessive, and allow yourself to become sad and desperate. If someone doesn’t like you, who fucking cares? Find one who does. If your significant other makes you feel like shit — they’re fucking shit — bury them in a sandbox, forget about ‘em, and move on. Don’t be like Joanna of Castile. Don’t ruin your life and your reputation with insecure obsession . . . Born in 1479, Joanna (Spanish spelling, “Juana”) was the third child of Queen Isabella of Castile and King Ferdinand II of Aragon. But this royal privilege didn’t stop her from working hard to improve herself. As a young woman, she spoke six languages, excelled in religious studies, was active in equestrian sports, played music, and could dance with the best of them. Plain and simple, Joanna was a fucking badass. She was smart AND beautiful; this obviously attracted the attention of men. And, in 1496, she married Philip of Habsburg, also known as “Philip the Handsome.” Seriously, the dude’s nickname was PHILIP THE HANDSOME — are you fucking kidding me? He must have looked like Idris Elba and Ryan Gosling had a baby the height of Dwayne The Rock Johnson. My point, even Philip’s handsome ass wasn’t worth “losing it." But, Joanna couldn’t resist, she let her imagination get the best of her and became paranoid that he was going to cheat. Her insecurities intensified and her mental instability grew evermore apparent around the kingdom. She was like a fucking vulture, constantly swarming over Philip, checking his iPhone, and demanding his email passwords. Needless to say, it was sad to watch. She was once such a smart, intelligent, confident woman. Not even Philip’s surprise death in 1506 quelled her insecurities. She wouldn’t allow nuns to approach his corpse before his burial — afraid he’d put his ghost boner in one of them. In the end, Joanna of Castile became known as “Joanna the Mad,” leaving behind a reputation of being pathetically jealous, instead of beautifully badass. Well, you just learned some fucking history. You’re welcome. Now, enjoy your Sunday, you beautiful idiots. #SUNDAYSCHOOL

Come To Me

“I want your lips on mine. And mine all over you.

Come to me... let me accept you as you are... place kisses on your emotional scars... caress your insecurities

Come to me... let me praise your imperfections as beauty... and convince your doubts that they’re just mile markers for how far you’ve grown

Come to me... let me hold you so closely that your burdens become mine... with an intimacy so intense we forget our burdens and all other limits

Come to me... let me into the darkest corners of your mind and feel me brighten it with my smile... like the moon reflecting the joy you bring me

Come to me... so i may be your pillow on which you find rest... your comforter to warm the parts of your heart that froze for preservation and safe keeping

Come to me... so i may play in your hair while softly talking in your ear... telling you the endless fantasies you inspire

Come to me... so i may persuade your body and mind to climax together in a collective epiphany...

So i may see your eyes become windows to your soul and mesmerize me with its loving nature...

May I read the language your body speaks and translate each of its thoughts into your pleasures...

Come to me... so we can achieve heights and depths not possible alone...

Confidently lost in the realms we transcend to...

Just... C’mere!"

-Pati3ntWo1f (09212019)

Lead you... to Us.

- - - - - - > us < - - - - - -

You cross my mind everyday

I want what comes next

An awakening release

I want that too

Two givers: Giving intent-fully, purposefully.

Two givers: Reciprocating, Appreciating.

Two givers: Learning to be selfish with one another, selflessly spoiling the other...

(with attention, detail, effort, ease, complimentary being - being me bringing myself to the complimentary degree necessary to balance with thee and always bring us the complete 360)

... After you.

So ready

And waiting, patiently

And wishing, anxiously

I need my turn to hear it...

To earn the emphatics of how i’ve compelled you to say it - To hear you make it yours...

(Then exceed those limits together as you give me a name of your own... And known words lose their worth, when compared to the value of how we are sharing our minds, bodies, energy, ourselves... We create a new language unique to us, written in passion, uttered in pleasure, understood spiritually, experienced entirely)

... Soft voices because we are always so close,

Countless smiles because your presence brings me joy,

An endless hug... always enwrapped in eachother... be it fingers, lips, arms, legs, bodies, minds or souls.

Any combos they can produce, We will surely create more.

Lemme please you beyond request?

I’ll lead you there...

... to Us.

(And the place where we defy time and space and self... Where our love making is an evokation of greater truths within ourselves... As my intent drips from my lips and is whispered into your flesh... as our rythm and intensity satisfy and soothe you into being in two places at once - As one flesh with me, And of the guided meditation I'm speaking into your skin... somewhere between your collarbone and where your jawline meets the lobe of your ear).

-Pati3ntWo1f (07262020)

That’s the goal. Once achieved... one’s practice in “mastering the art of living” becomes effortless; additionally, one becomes capable of enjoying the pinnacles of each emotion - or idea - as intended.

I complete me.

No Makeup

“And everything that makes you attractive is still on display and seen and recognized to be no less inspiring and enticing than when u powder, perfume, prompt and pose”

-Pati3ntWo1f

Beauty of Bubbles

I’m feeling as though I need to be brutally honest. Not with the intent to be brutal... and I don’t want to over-rotate, but... to be honest to the point of risk... and then into risk. Because without the risk, there is no - ... no highs, just minor swells of in-between. Like there are still lows - No risk and still Lows - but the highs...? I mean, maybe occasionally... short-lived. When we do and don't know how.. its like when two distinct complex patterns momentarily synchronize - or seemingly so. Empty bliss... enjoyably empty gestures... the beauty of bubbles. We float - mystifyingly so - reflecting the world as it is not. Empty and fragile... to burst with no pieces to collect and build again, ... just gone. Because our film was so thin, lacked substance, weight... lacked the consistency of that which comes with risk. The beauty of bubbles... the effortlessness, the carefree, the whim... the ability to disappear... due to a consistency made to wash clean. Because what you risk... sticks and gums and clings and spills and soils and stains, has substance and mixture and composition, leaves residue - evidence it was there, of it’s presence... of attempt... to be something... more than - ? ... beauty of bubbles.

-Pati3ntWo1f (11012019)

It is innate, an unthought action that comes automatically, an impulse with meaning and a goal, an instinct...

To gaze back with the intensities of fear and intrigue and excitement and belonging, to anticipate the risk and its thrill, to be entranced ever so helplessly yet ever so willingly, to respond...

Of the spectacle of sparks continuously reflecting your passioned outlook on me and this world, of being within heats’ range of burning desire’s furnace tempting such cure from my heart’s cold, of the nature that attracts moth to flame i am also beckoned and baited and boisterous, of my own impassioned and sincere convictions...

And yearn to dance within the radiance of your cinders and ambers, and tempt fate by how closely i position myself to rest and stoke your fires to flicker as though enraged with enjoyment, and crave the lullaby of your luminance and caress every hue of you with adoration and acceptance, and approach your goddess with agape and adventure and without admonishment.

- Pati3ntWo1f (100220)

DAYDREAMING SOMETHING Mmmmm!

I’d shower with you

I wish

I’m daydreaming rn

You out the shower…

1st time we’ve shared such a space

Based off our interactions & now face 2 face again, you trust your intuitions more… our magic is more real

So you walk out in just your towel - wrapped just enough around you to keep warm, hide nipples, and tease treasure

Eye contact

We both smile

Words not needed

You took the trusting step and we both recognize and celebrate it with excitement

I say “let me help you”

I come over. Grabbing the towel i spin you to where your back is to me, but i have control of the towel…

I move your hair and dry your back

Your waist… never fully reaching your front 😉

Then i say “excuse me” as i spread your legs futher apart, drop down, and dry from your inner thighs to toes

Your right leg

Then your left

While on one knee i ask you… “turn around, please?”

Never looking up, i begin at your feet

Left shin

Left knee

Back down to right shin

Right knee

As i adjust the towel in my hands, i look up at you

And ask if you are cold

With the towel as i need it i shuffle closer, face less than an inch from your skin

Exhale so you feel the warmth of my breath on your drying skin

(And to compose myself, because what your eyes are saying is str8 starting shit 😜)

I pat. I dab the towel, that is wrapped behind you right leg - across the front of your lower thigh… working my way up

And just before…. I switch to your lower left thigh… doing the same

I Lick my lips

And ask…

“May I?”

I kiss just under your belly button

My warm lips are contrary to the cold touch from the tip of my nose

Your body reacts

As it does you realize where my hands are, as they supportively grip you to go no where

I kiss lower, as my right arm begins to lift your left thigh

You reach for balance (wall, chair, bed, door, whatever it there)

I lick my lips again as you look to see why i slightly paused

You can sense my breathing has changed

And u like it’s intensity

I put your left thigh on my shoulder, adjust my kneeling accordingly

And lick between your lips gently

Letting my anxiety to taste you be your moisturizer

I gently lick again

Ever lower

Ever closer

Till my moisture is met with yours,…

Just after, your clit gets the first glimpse of what this tongue can do

I can taste you

How ready you are, only deepens my breath

Exhaling want and desire, you can feel its warmth

As i quickly say “Let me” before i dive in - never allowing you to respond (verbally)… only to respond (physically) as i spell the alphabet in lowercase and capitals until i learn (from your reaction) your letters of the day

Lowercase “L”

Capital “W”

Lowercase “A”

Lowercase “E”

I grip your waist as you teach me your code to unlock your goddess

Until i stop

Because as a gentleman, i need you not to strain… and standing is getting difficult

I just stop and stand

Place my right hand on the side of your face

Gently turn your head to your left

Lean into where our bodies touch and my lips are grazing your neck, just below you ear

And i say …

“Mmmm. Baby? I need you to lay down.”

You move without words, but i hold you in place

In the same spot i speak - while embracing you closer…

“May I… do more?”

You take a few steps back as i lead you, like we are ballroom dancing

You lay back on the bed

I return to my selfishness, tasting my way to your clit’s password

You can sense how i like it when you slip from receiving to giving - trying to ride my tongue

As you become more expressive, i only come up to quickly say things like:

“Let go”

“That’s it”

“Gimme”

“I want you to cum”

“Good girl”

And very possibly, if your day was as stressful/eventful/energy-draining as recent days

Then after your climax

I savor the flavors you gifted me, as i calmly grab the lotion

And begin to lotion you like we should have done 3 orgasms ago

I ask you to roll on your back, as i finish and our eyes talk for us

I intermittently place kisses here and there

You lay on your left as we embrace and i tease you with kisses and talking - where my lips intentionally run gently against yours

I get lost in your eyes again

Start rambling

You smile. Put your finger over my lips… &

Kiss me like there is no such thing as an ending

And roll onto your right side… keeping my arms around you like it’s the only blanket you have

I slightly adjust to be as comfortably close as possible

We snuggle

I move your hair and kiss the back of your neck

And say “thank you”

You roll over to be face to face

I break eye contact to admire your body… and bring my eyes back to yours

Never breaking eye contact i take a deep breath in and exhale

My eyes become more sincere

You see my truthfulness b4 i say a word

I smile (as you always make me do)

And say…

“Thank you for sharing your pleasures with me.”

I swear whatever exists beyond this life can be seen - in glimpses - in your pleasures

Eyes

Smile

Voice

Body

Mmmm…!

I love your language

-the end

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pati3ntwo1f (04272023)

Well…

Just bathe in my praises. Soak in them. Let them warm, rinse, clean… play in it, rest in it… submerge yourself at will, float on a whim, dip whichever and all the parts of you on a want. Praises will keep flowing from my lips. My well of expression will never run dry. It’s yours!

- pati3ntwolf (07092023)