There’s A Comfort In Having A Friend With The Same Disorder As You, Like She Gets Me Like Nobody Else

football has been such a big part of my life, for as long as I can remember.

so many people around me don’t understand the love I have for the sport, but they’ll never truly understand how vital it has been to me. my team, my club, to me its home.

I’ve been going to Stamford bridge since I was a kid, I know the stadium as well as I know my childhood home. over the years, kingsmeadow has become home too.

the sport, this club, it gives me something to believe in. I mean, isn’t that what most people want anyways? something they can wholeheartedly believe in. sport, for so many people, give them that belief.

there’s something safe and easy about standing in a crowd with thousands of fans just like you, all in that one moment, cheering on your team. it’s a weird feeling, one I can’t describe but try to chase. the pure joy, the comfort, the delight and rush as you watch goals be conceded or scored, the rush you get of excitement, or the dread that follows a hard loss. the unwavering determination that you will come back from this.

MARC HAT TRICK BEFORE HALF TIME LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO. I LOVE MY TEAM, I LOVE THIS CLUB, LIGHT THE COUNTRY FUCKING BLUEEEEE 💙💙💙

“I don't believe in God, but I believe that you're my saviour” might be one of the most devastating lyrics of a song if you understand it, that I relate to. LIKE I COULD GO ON ABOUT THIS FOR DAYS.

one day, I will not cry myself to sleep at the mere thought of you.

the gasps and sobs claw their way out of my throat, as desperate as a plea to be heard. my body wracks with sobs as I silently feel myself fall apart.

one day I won’t feel guilty for things I can’t control

sometimes I scare myself with the anger that lies within me. It sits dormant, waiting for the time to rise and make itself known. and when it does, it consumes me and comes out in angry heaving sobs as I gasp to scream what I’ve kept hidden underneath the surface for so long. I can’t remember the last time I was angry and shouted without crying. without the ensuing meltdown that typically follows. maybe it is never truly anger I feel, not wholly anyways. It’s tainted by other emotions, other feelings.

maybe this makes me bitter, at least I think it does to some degree. It scares me how angry I can be sometimes, how much rage I have within me. angry at the people around me, at the world, at the circumstances I am presented with, as I cling to the mere notion it has to be some sort of higher power surely testing me. for what I’m not sure, maybe I’ll never know. maybe I don’t want to.

it’s one of those days where nothing I say or do is right. I get screamed at that I don’t listen to what they’re saying. but when was the last time they stopped raising their voices every time I opened my mouth to talk? when was the last time they acknowledged what I was saying, actually listened to what I was saying.

sometimes I think they’re too busy trying to argue with me, and tear me apart at the seams, rather than actually hear what I have to say.

I have so much to say.

can't believe eddie sat down on a bench at work and told buck that he couldn't get it up when he was with his girlfriend and buck's immediate response was to be a good friend (tm) about it and offer to give eddie a helping hand and neither one of them stopped for a second to think about the implications of that i genuinely think we all deserve a compensation for being forced to watch that scene unfold with our own eyes to be honest

YES WE DID!!! She looks so good in blue 🤭😌💙

chelsea got a good one x

Watch we find out Buck is allergic to bees or some shit, I’ll fucking screech please leave him alone 😭

"kill them with kindness" WRONG 500 BEES 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝