Everything About The Story Maya Told Was Terrible. Especially The Bits About Emulating Her Father, Knowing

everything about the story maya told was terrible. especially the bits about emulating her father, knowing she's doing it, but not knowing how to stop.

it makes sense, she was just a kid trying to survive an unbearable situation and who can fault her for how she protected herself(also the way she was trembling and the hardness of her tone as she was retelling it to andy? pain. she was right back there, in that moment and i just. why does this show love to hurt me so?) but as an adult, she can't continue to live like that—hypervigilant, in a constant state of rage and self monitoring—and im glad she's self aware. but i'm definitely going to need for l*ne b*shop to rot. asap.

also glad maya and andy are even having these kinds of conversations, because so much of their friendship in the past has been superficial; the depth of it all has pretty much been guesswork up until this point. it's cool to see them in this process of rebuilding with actual conversations and not just a throwaway comment here or there. it's like the writers finally remembered that they're supposed to care about each other? wow.

would really like for maya to actually speak someone qualified about all her stuff as well. because while she's aware of her behavior/coping mechanisms she's still keeping a lot in and just. dealing with it by herself and it's so much??? like her dad did a number on her(&their entire family) and speaking to someone about that wouldn't be the worst.

i'd also would like to see her discuss this with carina at some point, because everyone knows when maya represses things get Bad. not wanting to further hurt carina and walling herself off in that aspect is certainly... a choice. like i get it, but carina isn't stupid. she's probably already picked up on everything. their scene at the end was evidence of that.

this episode was so much. but what i do know is that maya bishop can do no wrong. that's just an undeniable fact.