Someone Needs To Set Mor Straight, I Swear🥴

Feminine Painting Details

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!tw!: mentions of pedophilia, sexual assault, basically my encounter with a sexual predator (no detailed descriptions or anything, just me telling the story of how i was exposed to one)

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kids just kinda... have a sixth sense... i can’t really explain it,, but like,, they can tell if an adult is a sexual predator or dangerous or something. i’ve seen this happen so many times, but the one event that confirms it is actually something that I experienced with my karate instructor.

when i was about six or seven, i went to karate classes twice a week. my dad would drive me there, then sit and read a book (usually the chronicles of narnia or lord of the rings or something like that) in a chair at the edge of the room with the other parents.

 i had always felt uneasy around the instructor, but i passed it off as me being super shy. it eventually got to the point where if he got within three feet of me, i’d immediately start shaking and my heart would race and stuff. 

the breaking point was about eight or nine weeks into classes. for some reason, as soon as he stopped next to me, i burst into tears. (now, when i was a kid, i didn’t cry. i just didn’t. i’d scrape my knee, fall off my bike, hit my head, but i almost never cried.) cue everyone asking me if i was alright and crowding around me and stuff, but i just ran over to my dad and jumped into his arms, refusing to let go of him. after a solid ten minutes of me sobbing my heart out into his shirt, he pulled me from the class, took me out for ice cream, and drove me home, playing my favorite heavy metal songs for me (yeah i had weird taste in music as a kid).

after that, i refused to go back to karate. i dug my heels in and would throw a temper tantrum that shook the ground if my parents tried to get me to go to karate. so, i never went back. 

i’d mostly forgotten about it over time, occasionally thinking about it late at night when i had trouble sleeping, but other than that, it almost completely left my mind.

that was, until earlier this morning, my dad told me that my old karate instructor had been arrested for sexually assaulting an eight year old boy, and apparently, according to his DETAILED journal, he’d been doing it since he started working as a karate instructor. boys, girls, big, little. he’d done it for decades.

who knows, i could have been one of those children. i could’ve been one of them, and i can’t stop thinking about it, along with the fact that children most definitely can, in some small part of their minds, tell if someone is dangerous. they may not know at the time what exactly is wrong, but they know that something is.

prigione-di-lacrime Roberto ferri

I HOPE LOVING ME ISN’T THE HARDEST THING ANYONE HAS TO DO.

jenny slate // bernhard schlink // unknown // heather havrilesky // sue zhao // i.b. vyache // fatima aamer bilal // anne carson // bylthe baird // alice notley // jody chan // georges bataille // frank o'hara // emily palermo

Seeing multiple men on tiktok (because of course) praising Cassian for being “such a good guy” and saying “Nesta doesn’t deserve him” is scary. But unfortunately not surprising in the the least bit.

How can you read about Cassian

locking Nesta in a house house she can’t escape without his help

laughing at Nesta physically harming herself

telling Nesta everybody hates her

Throwing a temper tantrum and yelling at Nesta in public when Nesta doesn’t want to accept the mating bond

Taking advantage of Nesta and using her for sex when he knows she is in a bad mental state and using sex as a coping mechanism

Not to mention Cassian locking her in a house making him her only option for sex which he knows that’s her only coping mechanism now that he’s taken alcohol away from her.

And not come to the conclusion that he is an abusive piece of shit. Like I said it’s scary men see Cassian as “good person”

I was reading some Wolffe posts and I was thinking about my own version of Wolffe in my Multiverse.

Wolffe seems so calm most of the time, but also seems to have no chill where it concerns like, speaking his mind. Plo obviously encourages him to have his own personality, thoughts and feelings and validates his opinions.

By contrast, Cody and Rex are so much more reserved– but what really gets me is Cody is less reserved with Obi-Wan than Rex is with Anakin. It’s so weird, cause you’d assume ‘super attachment maker’ Anakin Skywalker would get so close to Rex that eventually they’d become loose around each other.

Cody will jokingly call Obi-Wan ‘boss’ and crack jokes with him in the movie and even talk candidly with him in the show. Maybe not quite to the extent that Wolffe will with Plo or his brothers– but Cody is loose and relaxed.

And I don’t think it’s just his personality. I think Obi-Wan tries to encourage his men and their individuality, but like. Massively fails.

I can only think to compare it to how my mother was in one aspect of life. She’d insist that we could talk to her about anything, but then when I tried, she’d get mad and shout at me. In Obi-Wans’ case, it would’ve been more like…

‘I want you to know that I respect your personhood, but also I’m your general and you should obey me unequivocally or you and your brothers all might end up dead out there on the battlefield, so I’m going to be genial but keep my distance’ kind of thing which has the side effect of making the men slightly more relaxed because they know where the lines are and they can work around them– but they don’t feel truly safe with Obi-wan the way Wolffe and the Wolfpack feel with Plo Koon.

Which led me to thinking about Anakins’ lines. Fives is very outspoken and opinionated, and Jesse can be if the situation calls for it.

But when they’re around Anakin, they barely joke at all. And the one time I can remember them joking with Anakin, it was about the size of his binoculars? It was a juvenile joke and Anakin seems to indulge it, but then why do they all still seem so separated from him?

I realized it’s just Fives who is that comfortable, because he refuses not to be comfortable. He makes himself comfortable, but the rest of them are not.

I’m sorry this has turned into a long character rant.

It just makes me think about them all and how their behaviors are so different from each other. Even Captain Keeli whom we see only for a short time, somehow seems more at home with his General than Rex does.

Rex is always stiff and formal with Anakin. Even discounting the whole ‘not calling him Anakin’ thing which doesn’t even really matter– it’s in the body movements and the way they talk to each other.

A lot of this is just headcanon based upon what I remember, but.

Anakin is down-to-earth, but only from a distance. He’s so detached from everything and everyone because wartime forces one not to get attached lest you lose them and get hurt. And the only people he allows himself to get attached to, are people with higher survival odds and Padme.

Obi-Wan and Ahsoka are his only two attachments outside of Padme and the Chancellor.

And I was thinking about this the other day but the only real attachment that Anakin had, was Ahsoka. Because all the rest, were obsessions.

The obsession with the idea of being in love and having someone love him. The obsession with being a good son/younger brother so that his father/older brother would acknowledge him. The Obsession with feeling special and powerful like he really mattered– which is what the Chancellor gave him.

But Ahsoka is the only one he truly loved and was simply attached to. He didn’t really get anything from Ahsoka. Sure she was a lot like him and he could relate to her, but that’s basically it. She wasn’t even like a familial surrogate or anything though you could say he viewed her like a sister.

I’d say that Ahsokas’ loss would’ve rocked Anakin more than anyone elses’. The fact that it’s Padmes’ death that sends him into despair is just weird to me when. Well you all know how I feel about Pedophile Padme marrying a teenager when she’s a full grown ass woman. But also aside from that…

Padme and Anakin only have one thing in common. The struggles they went through together. Nothing else. Even their love languages are so mismatched that Anakin ends up feeling desperate for her affection because she doesn’t show it in a way that makes him feel loved.

(Specifically citing that episode where he gives her his lightsaber to ‘prove’ his love and try to get her to prove hers back.)

But Anakin and Ahsoka have a true bond forged not only through similarities between them, but also the events they have gone through together and their reluctance to give up their attachments. They are basically mirrors of each other, though they’re more alike than they are opposite when they first meet.

Their bond grows through mutual affection.

Contrast that with Anakins’ relationship with Padme or Obi-Wan and you can clearly see that while he is desperate for Padmes’ love and Obi-Wans’ approval, he is just happy with Ahsoka.

When she left the order, I think it broke him.

But getting back to my point.

Anakin views his men as ‘people that die too easily, I’ll just lose them’ so while he might be very permissive and treat his men affectionately, it’s like…you can feel that he doesn’t really mean it.

That while he might smile at you and crack witty one-liners, but he’ll flip through a casualty report without a single flinch. Because those men were assumed casualties by him already.

Wolffe is comfortable because Plo Koon genuinely cares for his men and is attached, healthily, to them.

Cody is semi-comfortable because while Obi-Wan might have boundaries around his affection and kindness, at least that means that he knows where he stands.

And Rex is stiff with Anakin because Anakin pretends to be close to them and to care for them, but he’s really just acting out the behavior with none of the feelings behind it. It makes you uneasy. You know your creativity will be rewarded on the battlefield, but would he be okay if you called him brother and clapped him on the shoulder?

They don’t know, and that’s what makes them so stiff.

Or so I think? Not sure, I’ll have to think about it a lot more.

Okay so I wasn’t going to address this but it’s really gotten to me and weighing heavy on my heart.

TW: Talks of Rape

Earlier today I got a bunch of notifications all at once about this account that claimed I was simping for a rapist, a rape apologist, and other nasty things from an account I do not know. They were commenting under all of my eris fics and seeing it was very disturbing, hurtful, and just 100% not true.

Some people take fiction to far to start with but in defense of Eris, which I feel like is ridiculous that I have to do, he never raped anyone. Mor was SA but it was done in the Hewn City. Again, I feel silly I’m actually having to clarify this because

1.) Never happened but

2.) IT IS A WORK OF A FICTION. HE IS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER.

I am a victim of SA. I know what it’s like and to claim that about me when you know nothing is vile. It’s low and has made me feel like shit all day and I hate, I hate that it got to me like this but it has. I’m calling you out publicly, whoever you are, because I want you to know that words truly do affect people no matter how much protection you feel you have behind a screen.

I have no idea why you targeted me, why you said the things you did, but I truly hope you learn from this and grow as a person. I hope whatever hurt you’re feeling that you had to come at me in this way and say such awful things gets healed and you become a better person.

To the rest of you, thank you for reading my fics and being there for me. This community is amazing and I am thankful for each and every one of you.

❤️ 🍯🐝🧚🏻‍♀️

I love when a man is a little bit cunty. Not mean or rude or unkind or anything.. just bitchy

If you ship Obi Wan x Anakin (or any other master x padawan ship) you’re gross pass it on