My Day In Keywords: Annoying Headache, Unsatisfying Nap, Sexy Eris Dream

“Many people seem to think it foolish, even superstitious, to believe that the world could still change for the better. And it is true that in winter it is sometimes so bitingly cold that one is tempted to say, ‘What do I care if there is a summer; its warmth is no help to me now.’ Yes, evil often seems to surpass good. But then, in spite of us, and without our permission, there comes at last an end to the bitter frosts. One morning the wind turns, and there is a thaw. And so I must still have hope.”

— Vincent Van Gogh

The Three Laws of Fandom

If you wish to take part in any fandom, you need to accept and respect these three laws.

If you aren’t able to do that, then you need to realise that your actions are making fandom unsafe for creators. That you are stifling creativity.

Like vaccination, fandom only works if everyone respects these rules. Creators need to be free to make their fanart, fanfics and all other content without fear of being harassed or concern-trolled for their creative choices, no matter whether you happen to like that content or not.

The First Law of Fandom

Don’t Like; Don’t Read (DL;DR)

It is up to you what you see online. It is not anyone else’s place to tell you what you should or should not consume in terms of content; it is not up to anyone else to police the internet so that you do not see things you do not like. At the same time, it is not up to YOU to police fandom to protect yourself or anyone else, real or hypothetical.

There are tools out there to help protect you if you have triggers or squicks. Learn to use them, and to take care of your own mental health. If you are consuming fan-made content and you find that you are disliking it - STOP.

The Second Law of Fandom

Your Kink Is Not My Kink (YKINMK)

Simply put, this means that everyone likes different things. It’s not up to you to determine what creators are allowed to create. It’s not up to you to police fandom. 

If you don’t like something, you can post meta about it or create contrarian content yourself, seek to convert other fans to your way of thinking.  

But you have no right to say to any creator “I do not like this, therefore you should not create it. Nobody should like this. It should not exist.”

It’s not up to you to decide what other people are allowed to like or not like, to create or not to create. That’s censorship. Don’t do it.

The Third Law of Fandom

Ship And Let Ship (SALS)

Much (though not all) fandom is about shipping. There are as many possible ships as there are fans, maybe more. You may have an OTP (One True Pairing), you may have a NOTP, that pairing that makes you want to barf at the very thought of its existence.

It’s not up to you to police ships or to determine what other people are allowed to ship. Just because you find that one particular ship problematic or disgusting, does not mean that other people are not allowed to explore its possibilities in their fanworks.

You are free to create contrarian content, to write meta about why a particular ship is repulsive, to discuss it endlessly on your private blog with like-minded persons.

It is not appropriate to harass creators about their ships, it is not appropriate to demand they do not create any more fanworks about those ships, or that they create fanwork only in a manner that you deem appropriate.

These three laws add up to the following:

You are not paying for fanworks content, and you have no rights to it other than to choose to consume it, or not consume it. If you do choose to consume it, do not then attack the creator if it wasn’t to your taste. That’s the height of bad manners.

Be courteous in fandom. It makes the whole experience better for all of us.

It’s frustrating to see how often Nesta is misrepresented in fan art and discussions because it feels like her complexity as a character is being overlooked or flattened. Canonically, she has no issue baring herself to her sexual partners or Cassian, demonstrating her confidence and control in those private moments. But socially, she prefers modesty, favoring conservative, structured clothing that projects restraint and distance. This speaks volumes about her personality: she’s guarded, self-contained, and deliberate in how she presents herself to the world.

Yet fan interpretations often strip this away, dressing her in skintight, revealing outfits that clash with her established preferences. It’s frustrating because it stems from a broader pattern of reducing strong, complex female characters to oversexualized caricatures. People see Nesta’s strength, her sharpness, and her intensity and equate that with a need to visually sexualize her, ignoring the deliberate choices she makes about how she presents herself.

This trend also feels rooted in a misunderstanding of her relationship with vulnerability. Nesta doesn’t bare herself to the world easily—whether emotionally or physically. Her modest clothing is a shield, just like her sharp tongue and cutting demeanor. It’s part of what makes her intriguing, but this depth is often erased in favor of the trope of the “seductress” or “bad girl” who must look a certain way.

Meanwhile, Feyre and Elain—who are more open and expressive in their clothing—are often drawn in softer, more modest ways, which only highlights how much Nesta is unfairly singled out for this treatment. It’s not about denying her beauty or sensuality but recognizing that her power comes from her control and the barriers she chooses to put up—not from flaunting herself in a way that goes against her character.

Ultimately, it’s frustrating because it shows a lack of respect for who Nesta is: a woman who keeps her armor on in public but allows herself to be vulnerable in private, on her own terms. Misrepresenting that in art and fandom spaces undermines the very traits that make her so compelling.

It’s also frustrating how Nesta is always depicted as frowning or scowling in fan art and discussions, as if that’s the only expression she’s capable of. Yes, canonically, she has a sharp and serious demeanor, and she’s not someone who smiles easily, but reducing her to a perpetually angry or sour-faced caricature does her a disservice. Nesta’s stoicism isn’t just about anger—it’s about control, restraint, and a lifetime of guarding herself against the world.

Her frown is often misinterpreted as one-dimensional hostility, but it’s far more nuanced than that. She’s worn down by grief, guilt, and a fear of vulnerability that she’s had to carry for years. Her guarded expressions are part of her armor, much like her preference for modest clothing. They’re not just signs of anger; they’re signs of someone who has endured pain and refuses to let anyone see her break.

And while she may not beam with joy at every turn, it’s canon that she has moments of softness and humor, especially with those she lets into her inner circle. She smirks, she teases, and she even laughs—especially in the company of Gwyn and Emerie, where she feels safe enough to drop her guard. These moments may be rarer, but they’re crucial to understanding her character, and they’re often erased in fan portrayals that insist on making her look like she’s constantly angry or unpleasant.

This persistent depiction feels like it stems from a misunderstanding of Nesta’s character. People take her strength, her pride, and her refusal to be anything but authentically herself as a reason to paint her as bitter or unkind. But Nesta’s journey is one of rediscovering herself, learning to let others in, and finding moments of joy and purpose. Reducing her to a permanent scowl ignores her growth, her resilience, and her complexity.

Nesta isn’t just angry—she’s guarded, hurt, and healing. And while she may not be the type to smile easily, when she does, it’s all the more meaningful. Fan portrayals should capture the full range of her character, not just the parts that fit into an oversimplified “ice queen” mold.

When Azriel had pictured his future, it had never featured this kind of happiness. His brothers, their families being his family too, sure, but he never expected someone of his own. He certainly never expected the preppy, yoga-teaching, freelance writer who lay in his arms. He never expected someone who liked late nights to his early mornings, someone who danced in their underwear around his apartment, someone who made him drink green juice smoothies and practice stretching.

He never expected bliss.

Day one of Keeping Up With The Vanserras

Lady of Autumn [The Life of LoA]

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” - Maya Angelou

@keepingupwiththevanserras

"Cassian could stick up for Nesta just once and I'd forgive him" "just waiting for the moment to forgive Cassian" "I give up I forgive him already"

couldn't be me like I genuinely don't understand this way of thinking

if it was just the fact that he didn't say I love you or doesn't stand up for her then maybe I could understand if he really redeemed himself but after everything he has done?

he has repeatedly judged, harassed, mocked, berated, insulted, and assaulted her. he punished her physically and emotionally, locked her up, took advantage of her and even more

why on earth would you want to forgive any of that? why are you waiting for a moment where you can just forget all of that happened? you can even see it with that stupid quote when they almost died people think that means it's okay that beforehand he was horrible to her and couldn't respect a woman's "no" if it kicked him in the balls (and there is actual canon evidence of that fyi)

it's so weird to me that everyone on this website is a human person outside of their weird internet niche so rb this with a random bit of your lore

you are good even when you are unemployed.

you are good even when you need to rely on others’ help.

you are good even when you are depressed.

you are good even when you are hurt.

you are good even when you are scared.

you are good even when you are overwhelmed.

you are good even when you are not tidy.

you are good even when you are confused.

you are good even when you have difficulty performing tasks.

you are good even when you feel like you’ll never measure up to being an adult.

symptoms are not morality.