“I Was Recently Diagnosed With A Rare Disease Called Cryoaudiovascularia. It Prohibits Proper Blood

“I was recently diagnosed with a rare disease called cryoaudiovascularia. It prohibits proper blood flow to the ears, causing them to slowly freeze and fall off, slowly spreading to the inner ear and finally to the brain. There is no known cure, except one. My ears need to be constantly warmed, and the only known material soft enough is the inner thighs of a pretty girl. So I need you to sit on my face for medical reasons.”

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