Pinknbluepolkadots

my favorite kind of fanfics are “canon divergence” because it’s always like handing back a reviewed essay with comments like “I enjoyed the strong beginning but here is where you lost me, I’ve made some notes”

AU in which Snape has a potions show a la Gordon Ramsay style

-“You call this a potion, Smith? I wouldn’t even use it to scrub the lavatory.”

-“Abysmal attempt, you’re out.”

-“Hmm…this is… adequate.”

-*looks at subpar potion* “I would’ve preferred it if the cauldron had exploded.”

-*contestant reaches for their wand* *Snape materialises out of thin air* “What the *beep* do you think you’re doing? You *beep* *beep* *beep* dunderhead. *Beep* oxygen thief!”

has been opened

This is a stupid headcanon I fixated way to long on:

What if Draco had a diary which he called Father, like he made it when he was young to compensate for his dad being to busy with work to listen to him.

So everytime he said “wait till my father hears about it.” He’s actually running to his dorm to pull out his diary and write his feelings into it.

Like probably something like:

“Dear Father, Potter did not pay attention to me today and it’s all that stupid Weasley’s fault. I hate him and I hate all Potter’s friends because if they never existed me and Potter would be snogging by now and he’d love me and I’d be happy. And gosh, I hate my life!! Signed Draco Potter-Malfoy “

Pansy knows about the Diary and reads it daily because she’s bored. She sometimes corrects his grammatical errors to piss him off.

10 Letters To My Soulmate

An anonymous ask requested a soulmate-themed Drabble, here it is!

On Wednesday morning at breakfast, an owl from OSA (Owling Soulmates Anonymous) was delivered to Draco Malfoy. It read:

Dear Soulmate,

I know it might be odd that I’m contacting you now, since I’ve never tried to before, but I decided that I just have to know that you exist. Since this program started, nearly everyone I know has written to their soulmate and found something, or rather, someone, amazing. I kept wondering why you never reached out, but maybe you have never even heard of this program. I don’t know. Maybe you have heard of this program but you don’t want to know me. I just know that I’ve been through a lot through the last year, and if you’re out there somewhere feeling as broken as I do, then maybe we can help each other heal. Or something.

-Anonymous

…

On Friday afternoon, while Harry and Ron were watching Flitwick put up Christmas decorations in the Great Hall, a return owl from OSA was delivered to Harry Potter. It read:

Dear Soulmate,

The reason that I have not tried to contact you is not because I don’t want to know you, but because I feel that you do not want to know me. Trust me, whoever you are, you deserve more than me. Regardless, I hope you find happiness from someone who can actually give it to you, and I wish you a Happy Christmas. That is, if you celebrate Christmas.

-Anonymous

…

Draco was busying himself in his eighth year dorm on Friday night by organizing his books in alphabetical order of the author’s last name when a second owl from OSA arrived.

Dear Soulmate,

Please don’t push me away. I want to know you no matter who you are.

Also, I think it’s quite pretentious of you to assume that I deserve more than you have to offer. I could be anyone, even a mass murderer. I mean I’m not a mass murderer, but still.

And if you’re wondering, I do celebrate Christmas. I don’t have a family to share it with, but my friends are very welcoming. I like to think that if these letters work out, we could even spend Christmas together. But since you’re being so presumptuous and prat-like, I guess we won’t.

-Anonymous

…

On Saturday morning, an owl tapped on Harry’s dorm window. Harry rushed to open it, and when he took the letter and sent the owl off, he saw that it was an OSA letter and his heart skipped a beat.

He looked at his roommate’s bed to see if he was still there. The bed was made and it seemed that he had left for the day, which was odd, since it was still very early, and he had been up late organizing his books. ‘Oh well,’ Harry thought, and he went ahead and read the letter.

Dear Soulmate,

I don’t see how I can be the prat when you’re the one who insulted me. And, in my opinion, it is presumptuous of you to think that while you could be a mass murderer, I could not be. Of course, like you, I only point that out for the sake of argument, and I am most certainly not a mass murderer. But I am by no means a good person. For the past six months or so I have been trying to make up for all the awful things I’ve done, yet nothing I do can erase the sins of my past. If you were to meet me, know who I am and what I’ve done, you would not want to spend Christmas with me. You’d want to get as far away from me as possible.

I’m sorry that you have no family. I don’t have a great family, but I cannot even imagine how it must feel to have none at all. I’m glad that you have good friends whom you can love and trust. If you didn’t have friends like that, I’d have to send you a puppy or some other sort of pet so that you would not be alone on Christmas.

Truly, soulmate, I want the best for you, but please don’t write to me again. I am a horrible, horrible person and you should not waste your time with me.

-Anonymous

…

Draco sighed when yet another OSA owl came to him on Sunday morning in the library. He set aside the textbooks he’d been studying and prepared himself to read the message from his soulmate.

Dear Soulmate,

I believe that you’ve done terrible things. I’ve done terrible things too. I killed someone in a war and it haunts me everyday. It breaks my heart to think that you have to carry the weight of your mistakes even as you try to make up for them. All I want to do is lighten that weight and prove to you that you can be loved despite that. And I hope you know that having done horrible, horrible things does not make you a horrible, horrible person. I can tell that you have a good heart just by your statement that you would send me a puppy to keep me company on Christmas. That’s a really sweet thing to say, you know.

And if your family isn’t the best then you’re free to join my friends and I. Of course, that would mean confessing your identity, which you should only do if you’re sure that you want to meet me. Until then, I’d like it if we kept sending each other letters. Your words make me smile and make me forget about the nightmares I’ve lived through for a while.

-Anonymous

…

Harry smiled when a third OSA letter arrived for him on Monday.

“Is that from them?” Hermione asked, noticing Harry’s wide smile.

Harry blushed. “Weren’t you about to go to your dorm?”

Hermione rolled her eyes, but she left the Eighth Year Common Room so Harry could read the letter in privacy.

Dear Soulmate,

I have to admit, I am surprised by you. When I used to think of who you might be, I imagined a perfect person with no flaws whatsoever. I think I like you better now that I can tell you’re a real person. You’re understanding and thoughtful and you seem loyal, but you have made mistakes too. I’m sorry that you have to suffer because of those mistakes, though.  

I agree now that we should keep sending letters. Especially since they make you smile. (Don’t let it go to your head, but your letters bring a smile to my face as well.)

-Anonymous

Harry was just finishing up the letter with a sappy smile on his face when Draco entered the common room.

“Malfoy? You’re out late,” Harry said.

“I was in the Owlery. I had, uh, a Christmas card to send.” For some reason Malfoy was blushing. “I’ll just be heading up to our room then.” Malfoy hurried up to his and Harry’s shared room and Harry stayed in the Common Room to reread the letter a few times.

It wasn’t until later, when Harry was lying awake in bed, that he realized the implications of Malfoy being in the Owlery just before he received his soulmate’s letter. ‘Could Malfoy be my soulmate?’ Harry thought.

…

Draco got a reply from his soulmate sooner on Tuesday, when he was helping Goyle wrap his presents. Goyle looked over Draco’s shoulder, trying to catch sight of what the letter said. Draco pushed Goyle away with a laugh. “It’s for my eyes only, Goyle.”

Goyle shrugged and went back to work wrapping the wand case he bought for Pansy.

Draco left the room to read the letter alone, not able to keep a smile off his face.

Dear Soulmate,

I must, unfortunately, inform you that your comment about my letters making you smile did indeed go to my head and all day I have been strutting around with a proud look on my face. My friends tell me that I look ridiculous. I don’t care. I’ve been feeling happy lately, because of you, and I want everyone to know that. I, like you, have found a certain comfort in knowing that my soulmate is out there, that they’re a real person, who can be sweet and can also be a prat.

By the way, my offer to spend Christmas with you still stands. Now that we both know that we’re accepted by each other unconditionally, there should be little standing our way of being together. Of course, I will still understand if you want to remain anonymous. And I will also understand if you don’t want to be with me and would prefer to just be friends.

Anyhow, if you decide to not join me for Christmas I’ve decided that I will get you that puppy which you promised me. I don’t even know if you like dogs, but I have such good taste in pets that I am sure you’ll like the one I get you regardless. I’ll let you name him, but if I may suggest a name, Padfoot is an excellent one.

-Anonymous

Draco’s smile stayed all day long. When he returned to his room after helping Goyle with the last of his gifts, he found Potter already inside on his bed, flipping through a gift catalog.

“What’re you smiling for?” Potter asked, smirk on his face.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Draco said. He tucked the letter in his bedside table drawer and hummed as he looked for a book from the uber-organized bookshelf.

Draco’s humming was so loud that he didn’t hear Potter whisper, “I think I do know.”

…

Harry’s reply didn’t come until Thursday, Christmas Eve.

Dear Soulmate,

I’m sorry I couldn’t respond sooner, but I’ve been busy. My roommate has been forcing me to spend time with him. We walked through the snow and went sledding (Have you ever been sledding? It’s much more fun than I thought it would be) and made Christmas cookies. I’ve never spent too much time with my roommate before, but it turns out that he’s actually fun. He and I were laughing practically the entire day. I’m only sorry that doing all that prevented me from writing to you.

Concerning Christmas, please do not send me a puppy. I’m not allowed to have one in my room, and my parents certainly would not take of it for me until I had a place of my own to keep it in. However, now that I give more thought to the idea, I suppose my roommate might help me keep the puppy a secret.

I think Padfoot is an odd, yet intriguing, name, by the way.

Happy Christmas Eve.

-Anonymous

Harry quickly wrote out a reply and rushed to the Owlery. He wanted his letter to get to Draco before it was officially Christmas.

…

Draco got his new OSA letter while in the kitchen, helping the house elves prepare food for the feast tomorrow.

“Hold on, Tink, I’ve got to read this, then I’ll help you with the turkey.”

Dear Soulmate,

Your roommate sounds amazing. Like, the most awesome bloke in the world. I’ll bet he’s good looking, too. He probably has charmingly messed up black hair and enchantingly bright green eyes. Does he play Quidditch too? Perhaps he’s a Seeker. Perhaps he was even the youngest Seeker in a century. Blimey, he’s sounds so talented that I bet you never caught the Snitch before him. Luckily, I think he likes you despite your less than par Seeker skills. I think he likes you as much as I do. He probably wants to buy you a puppy and spend Christmas with you just like I do.

Now, after I’ve thought about it, I’ve realized your roommate and I are very similar. In fact, one might even say that we’re one and the same.

-Anonymous

“Sorry, Tink, I can’t help with the turkey. I’m so sorry, but I really have to go. Good luck!”

…

Harry was caught off guard when, while he was pacing the floor of his dorm room, Draco walked in, his face red from running and his eyes shining with- happiness?

“Did you get-” Draco started, and then a tapping could be heard on the window.

Harry went to open the window and retrieve the OSA letter from the owl. He shut the window and went to sit on his bed as he opened and read the letter. Draco was holding his breath.

Dear Soul/Roommate,

Potter? Meet me in our room as soon as possible.

-Not So Anonymous

(P.S. I can’t wait to spend Christmas with you.)

Everything in the room was silent except for the sound of parchment sliding against parchment as Harry refolded the letter and tucked it back inside the envelope.

“So, I guess we’re-”

“Soulmates? Yeah.” Harry smiled at Draco and slowly Draco began to smile too.

Harry stood up, walked to Draco, took his hand, and said, “I hope you know I wasn’t kidding about the puppy.”

Draco laughed, as he had been expecting Harry to say something more profound, and then he was surprised again when Harry interrupted his laugh to place a kiss on his lips.

Reblog if you respect fanfiction writers and believe a fandom would be nothing without them.

i’m still PISSED about harry potter leaving draco to die because “oh boo hoo there aren’t enough seats in this minivan someone has to stay behind” like you fool. you fucking fool. i’ve ridden to walmart and back in an 11-person shuttle seating 17 people just bc i didn’t wanna wait to get some skim milk. are you really telling me that you couldn’t put a dude in the trunk for the sake of getting away from a collapsing island? you worried about not having enough seat belts??? people died bc of your poor minivan management skills, harry

remember in goblet of fire when minerva says ‘potter’s a boy, not a piece of meat!’

imagine harry telling her everything after the battle of hogwarts, telling her about how dumbledore raised him like a pig for slaughter, and how he had to die and mcgonagall gets so goddamned mad

she loses control for the first time that harry’s EVER seen and she’s actually yelling, she’s so pissed that harry was seventeen and he had to accept death and dumbledore KNEW he would have to die and NEVER TOLD HIM

and harry’s about to cry because yeah his friends would be devastated if he was gone but NO ONE got this damn pissed that dumbledore had raised him so that he could die at the right time and mcgonagall’s in the middle of a rant and he just shoots up and hugs her and she’s stunned into silence but after a moment she hugs back and it’s great

and then she goes up to her office and starts screaming at dumbledore’s portrait because ‘i don’t care if it had to happen, albus, he is a CHILD-’

“listen… harry’s in trouble, and we could tell mum and dad, but I reckon we should just steal the flying car and go kidnap him in his muggle neighborhood, even though I’m 12 and you’re both 14 and this is a crime and the three of us cant drive”

“excellent”

Regulus Black joins the Death Eaters, but he’s really not prepared for what he finds inside their ranks…