The Older I Get The More I Realize What It Meant For Lily And James Potter To Die At 21. When You’re

YESTERDAY EVENING I WAS WONDERING WHY REMUS LOVED CHOCOLATE SO MUCH WHEN I REALISED

CHOCOLATE IS POISONOUS FOR DOGS

WHAT IF YOUNG REMUS STARTED LOVING CHOCOLATE BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT KILLED THE WOLF PART OF HIM

some kid comes up to remus lupin in fifth year like “I KNOW YOUR SECRET!!!”

and remus freaks out, this is literally his worst nightmare come to life, he’s stammering “i-i don’t kn-know what you-”

and the kid just shouts “YOU SMUGGLED YOUR DOG INTO HOGWARTS! I SAW YOU TALKING TO IT!”

and remus just stares at this kid. in the background, sirius is losing his shit

Quick Guide to Punctuating Dialogue

“This is a line of dialogue,” she said.

“This,” he said, “is a sentence split by a speech tag.”

“This is a full sentence,” she said. “This is a new sentence.”

“This is a sentence followed by an action.” He smiled. “They’re separate sentences, because I didn’t speak by smiling.”

Me: I like Malfoys. Draco is a pretty complex character. I think Narcissa is pretty powerful and Scorpius is such a cool character.

Lucius: Ah thank you-

Me:

AU in which Snape has a potions show a la Gordon Ramsay style

-“You call this a potion, Smith? I wouldn’t even use it to scrub the lavatory.”

-“Abysmal attempt, you’re out.”

-“Hmm…this is… adequate.”

-*looks at subpar potion* “I would’ve preferred it if the cauldron had exploded.”

-*contestant reaches for their wand* *Snape materialises out of thin air* “What the *beep* do you think you’re doing? You *beep* *beep* *beep* dunderhead. *Beep* oxygen thief!”

845

“I don’t know what I was expecting. Something flashier, I guess?”

“What, I’m not impressive enough? I just saved your life.”

“Next time, do it with flair.”

ON FANFIC WRITERS

WHAT MY PARENTS THINK I DO:

WHAT SOCIETY THINKS I DO:

WHAT MY READERS THINK I DO:

WHAT I THINK I DO:

WHAT I ACTUALLY DO:

This footage of Elmo after messing up a take on Sesame Street is peak relatable

The most unrealistic thing about Hogwarts is there is no overt petty drama?? There are like 5 kids per year who have to live together for SEVEN YEARS and they can do MAGIC. You can’t tell me the muffliato charm wasn’t used to talk mad shit about people. How many witches hexed their best friend’s dress robes to always be one size too small because they were fighting? And you expect me to believe that people ACTUALLY stayed in bed during curfew instead of flying through the Scottish highlands? Also the castle is designed to ruin your fucking life. Can you imagine being drunk on the moving staircases?? That’s an entire mythology of student stories in and of itself. I’m just saying, when I was in high school someone locked and duct taped a car alarm into a locker and then set it off for two hours straight and I’m 95% sure he wasn’t even a wizard