It Also Kinda Perpetuates A Negative/toxic View Of Romantic Relationships. Like, Y'know How People Most

I don't know if this is due to conditioning but these are a few things that trigger my splits wrt to friends coming over to my house (#bpd):-

- people not being thoughtful. for example, if they come over to my house and after eating food, keep the plate on the table and walk away/use their phone thinking someone else will put it in the kitchen and clean it up. pet. peeve. of. the. highest. order. this also includes them not making the bed or even folding the sheets/righting the pillows when they're up (again expecting the host - us - to do it or not even thinking about it); sitting at the table not offering to help out while I get the stuff from the kitchen and after the meal, put it away; not making up the room they used before they leave; and so on

- constantly using their phone while they're over at my house

- not interacting with my family//+not offering to tell them goodbye when they're leaving and just walking to the front door, and me having to prompt them to do so

- when multiple friends are over and I have to do all the work while they're sitting and chilling in the bedroom without coming out to see if I need any assistance/if they can help out etc

- (I live in a joint family system) friends who're overtly annoyed with my kid cousins wanting to spend time with us and ignoring them/acting as if they're a disturbance when they're interested in hanging out with us. you treat my (cousin) sisters like they're an annoyance, I'll tell you off and if you can't accept that, you're not welcome anymore

- never offering to split the money when I'm the one spending, but when it's their money, they bring up splitting the cost

SOML :-

get drunk to feel stuff ➡ feel understimulayed when no company ➡ experience a low ➡ breakdown

Scenario 2

get drunk to feel stuff ➡ company equals happy happy kiddo ➡ company goes away, chronic boredom ➡ impulsive stuff is done ➡ feel nothing the next day cuz no emotions

damnnn, I see people actually liking my posts and I'm super grateful, but tbh I use this platform to post drafts and stuff like that hehe - Tumblr is kind of like my post space? If that makes sense. I didn't expect this, but thank you 🥺🖤

I feel fucking pathetic, it's the new years and I'm sitting on the bathroom floor and crying fuck

people : happy gandhi jaya-

me : no thank you

how to tell your family you got a boob tattoo :

step #1 - don't.

Reasons why Grey's Anatomy is the best f*cking show ever:

(I've only reached S13, so no spoilers plis.but spoiler alert for those who haven't reached there - no major ones, but still)

1. The people. What is amatonormativity . It does not exist. All the relationships portrayed in the show - be it professional, familial, platonic, romantic; every single connection is meaningful and wholesome. MEREDITH AND CHRISTINA's relationship is what I yearn for, it is EVERYTHING. Alex and Meredith has my heart. Izzie and George (before the drama). George and Meredith. Derek and Christina's. Derek and Mark's - Mark saying he came back for Derek. Jackson and Mark's relationship. Teddy and Christina's. Mark, Arizona and Callie's relationship. Arizona and Alex's relationship. Addison and Alex's. Webber and Bailey's relationship. And these are only a select few I'm naming off the top of my head. There is genuine remorse when a friend hurts a friend, romantic partners aren't placed on a pedestal. Meredith does not kick her friends out of the house even after she gets married. Her found family doesn't disappear/isn't suddenly unimportant just because she's found romantic love.

And even the romantic relationships are so organic, so realistic. Even if there's drama, it's not toxic drama. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE how much importance is given to building relationships, to putting in effort.

And the stories of certain patients - the two women who decide to have and raise babies together. The two best friends, "cradle to the grave". The old couple, where the husband is helping the ill wife find a girlfriend for her new boyfriend. Another pair of best friends, making a deal to have a child together if they're single at 40.

Most connections exist for a reason. No one is disposable. Even the ones who leave are remembered, they don't disappear from the minds of their loved ones, unlike in most books/media. People actually value those they connect with. Even break-ups, deaths, endings, are all portrayed with the gravity they deserve.

I could go on and on about this, but I'll stop myself here. Also I might've accidentally left out certain points because one- my memory sucks, and also because I've come this far (show-wise I mean, not in life, HAHA, jk).

2. The casual queer representation. They have done it PERFECTLY. Everything about the queer rep in the show - *chef's kiss*

The only issue I had with the show was how they dealt with sex. How the concept of not having sex, or having sex much later in life etc was treated as a joke. Also, certain things Callie said didn't sit well with me at all.

But otherwise, I loved how they showed different generations, different kinds of queer people and relationships. Trans people, intersex people. People with bodies which don't fit into the norm. Queer sexuality. Just lovely.

3. How mental health issues are treated. AND HOW DISABILITY IS PORTRAYED. Keeping aside all the "jokes" or certain terms used, when it actually came down to it? The show portrayed mental illness wonderfully. Be it depression, be it addiction, be it OCD,(though this one was pretty insensitive at times - but that's not on the show, that's on the characters), be it PTSD (superbly realistically portrayed), be it schizophrenia. The way Arizona being disabled was portrayed; the episodes with the veterans; April saying being deaf needn't be a weakness or something "to fix"; that a person doesn't need their disability to be "cured" to become whole. How different bodies are portrayed - demonization of bodies is criticized, it's never encouraged.

The way Alex treated people with mental illnesses, the way he spoke about them (looking past the crude language, looking at him as an individual), is how it should be. One of the scenes I hold close to my heart is the way he explained to Jackson why, and how it was unfair to judge the actions of a patient while healing them or speaking to their family (more on this in the next point).

While this isn't connected to mental illness, and I'm requesting y'all not to misunderstand, I'm including this under this point because it's related to mental health - I love love love how Mark and Jackson ensure that the reason why people are getting plastic surgery is for themselves, not for anybody else. I love how there's no shaming, how it isn't shown as a shallow, vain field.

4. Not a single character is solely a good person, or a bad person. Everyone is multidimensional. Everyone has a story. Everyone is - pun intended - grey. They've all said or done something problematic, questionable or just wrong; but these same people show growth, they evolve. They also do things which show loyalty, compassion, and strength. There is nobody I actually, deeply dislike because they are an amalgamation of shades, I cannot fully dislike or put on a pedestal anyone in the show because they're written as complex, multifaceted beings. They're written as human. Which not many writers can do, it's an incredibly difficult, and at the same time, a beautiful thing to achieve.

Even people who did commit actual crimes weren't portrayed as evil criminals. They were shown to be as human as anyone. Their actions weren't excused, they weren't given a free pass, but they were still portrayed as people, instead of irredeemable monsters.

5. Feminismmmmmmm. Just scattered throughout the show like yummy sprinkles. I loved how characters actually speak about race, and racism. Very socially aware.

Mistreatment and dismissive treatment by professionals is a relevant issue that is portrayed throughout the show. The way consent was handled - so important!

Okay ,my brain feels wrung-out, so I'll stop here. I might edit this to add more points or write a pt. 2. The reasons why I love this show is inexhaustible, endless. And I'm sure I'll find more to love as I keep watching.

petition to cancel people who straightwash Achilles and Patroclus' relationship 🙂

(jk, jk...

...or am I?)

When I think about sex psychology, I get so excited and ajsjskskwkle and I feel like ranting because it's SUCH an intriguing subject and I'm probably gonna specialise in it later on sometime

Ace/aro books coming out this year that I’m looking forward to!

Is Love the Answer by Uta Isaki - stand-alone manga about a college girl who discovers she is aroace. The same mangaka also did ‘Mine-kun is Asexual’ a couple of years ago which I liked, though it was much shorter, so I’m happy to see a full length release from them. This came out just last week, so I’m super excited to read it when it gets here!

I want to be a wall (Vol.2) by Honami Shirono - manga series - releasing 17th Jan. I already posted about how much I enjoyed Vol 1 of this series, but for recap it’s about an aroace woman and her lavender marriage to a gay man who is unrequitedly in love with his best friend. I’m really excited to see how their non-conventional relationship plays out :) it’s very slice of life and cozy!

I am Ace by Cody Daigle-Orians aka Ace Dad Advice - releasing 21 Feb 2023. I’m glad to see a book about a sexuality actually written for an ace audience, because I feel like a lot of aspec books/articles are aimed at raising awareness with allos. I’m excited to see how this one goes!

Sounds Fake But Okay: An Asexual and Aromantic Perspective on Love, Relationships, Sex, and Pretty Much Anything Else - by Kayla Kaszyca and Sarah Costello - releasing 21 Feb 2023. I’ve listened to their podcast a bit over the years and I’m curious to see what they come up with in this book!

If you want to see a fuller list of all the ace and aro books coming out this year, check out this list HERE!