How Do I Prevent A Bpd Episode That I Can See Coming? Ive Been Distracting Myself For Days, Keeping Myself

Me to me : Hit me with your best shot

*afterwards*

Me to me : I TAKE IT BACK!!!! I TAKE IT BACKKK!!!! FOR FUCK'S SAKE, I TAKE IT BA-

cw : mention of death/s*icidal ideation; original content, based on prompt idea by @writingprompts365

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Sunshine meant people; sunshine meant people, chatter, and moving about, forced to be a functional human being who had to survive in proper society. They hated how looking after their beloved pet had been turned into a chore by their family, how helping around seemed more like being ordered around; the injustice of never having a moment of peace and quiet, never having a moment of respite to themselves, the dread of having to be extraverted when the only thing they wanted to do was learn and write and read and goddamnit- be alone. But moonlight. Moonlight meant everything holy, precious, and hopeful. It meant dancing in the living room, eating cold chicken, listening to music on full blast, infinite creativity. Alas, nights were too short to fit one’s entire life into. Sleep was for the strong – for the ones who could manage time and socialization, for those who could live with people, for those who didn’t fall apart when denied solace in their own arms. They were weak, they did not sleep; if days were for existing, and nights were for living, had they not dreamed of dying for far too long to deserve to want to live?  

A character knows they should go to sleep but they purposefully do something else instead

wish I could leak my own nudes anonymously so that my family would finally stop fucking slut shaming and body policing me ://////

I laugh at how redundant people sound when they whine about how youth nowadays get offended by everything and anything. Don’t get me wrong, laughter isn’t the only things it arouses, it also boils my blood to no end.

Youth nowadays don’t get offended over everything and anything, they get angry over things that matter- things that were once brushed away and ignored, things that ought to be taken into consideration, things that are considered deviant from the “norm” and hence not acknowledged or spoken about. Of course people would become angry if you preached about loving your family no matter what, despite what they say to you or despite how they treat you, when there are kids being verbally, physically and emotionally abused by their family members. Of course people would become angry if you automatically assumed everyone in your class was cissexual and heterosexual when being queer isn’t a hidden fact. Of course people would become angry if you spoke about sin and religion in a subjective manner, thereby erasing and refusing to validate non-believers; if your faith is important to you, then their faith is important to them. Of course people would become angry if you joked about and used terms which were used and is still being used to oppress and perpetuate prejudice against marginalized groups/communities.

It’s not about being “politically correct”, it’s about understanding that different people come from different backgrounds, different social groups and different statuses with different experiences and different histories. It’s about acknowledging the fact that language has been used as a tool to oppress, demean and discriminate against people for years and years. It’s about knowing that “normal” doesn’t exist and speaking only about what is considered a societal “norm” would obviously ignite backlash and anger.  

You may call it being sensitive, you may call it being a social justice warrior, you may call it being a buzzkill (keeping the last one for later), but what I don’t understand is why you use those terms in a pejorative manner. What’s so wrong with being sensitive to other people’s hardships and feelings? What’s so wrong in wanting to fight for social justice? What’s so wrong in not laughing at something that’s not supposed to be funny in the first place?

You call it being a buzzkill, I call it having a good sense of humor.

 Why are you so offended when someone calls you out? Why do you take it as personal offense/attack when someone tells you your joke wasn’t funny, but bigoted? Why do you get riled up when someone calls you discriminatory? Who’s the snowflake here?

It was always offensive, now people just have the confidence to call out your bullshit and a support system to back them up when they do so.  

TW : MENTION OF SUICIDE

Do you also conjure up scenarios of you dying of suicide in multiple different ways and draw out how you're going to inform people and how they're going to react/feel and basically draw out a whole ass novel up in your head when you're feeling down and then once the story's done up in there, feel better and go live life monotonously like before the tiny breakdown or do you have good mental health?

me, thinking: *don't say it, don't say it, istg if you say it-*

my family: "it's for your own good, we're only thinking about what's best for you"

me: *control, deep breaths, control, deep breaths, control, deep brea-*

family: "if we didn't care about you, we wouldn't say all this to you"

me: *BOOM* *EXPLOSION*

PLEASE STOP GIVING A SHIT ABOUT ME IF THAT'S THE REASON FOR Y'ALL TO SAY INSENSITIVE, CONTROLLING BULLSHIT

yes, I'm sex and kink positive, and yes I believe that the minimum age for people to start having sex must be atleast 16 - and yes, these can exist together.

I can talk about the problematic aspects of hook up culture and want to have casual sex and support casual sex at the same time. the problematic part (or atleast one of-) of hook up is this belief that sex is purely physical, purely mechanical - like, you follow these steps to reach the orgasm and stage and then you're done and you up and leave. But no, that's not what it is. Sex is so much more than that - sex also involves emotional, psychological attachment, and that has nothing to do with gender. When someone tells you to have sex with people, only whom you trust and that sex is so much more than simply, well, "sex", they're not shaming you (unless they actually are, then fuck them), they're telling you the truth. Sex does affect your psyche, that's why this 'humping and dumping' culture where there's no aftercare or no communication is WRONG - that does impact your emotional health negatively.

What I hate, one thing, about wattpad books is that most of the time, writers write about a player who has sex with girls and leaves before they wake up to show lack of romantic attachment, and later on portray those girls as clingy/whiney people who don't understand the concept behind one night stands. There are SO MANY things wrong with that.

1. Sex takes an emotional toll on the so called player too. There's always a backstory, which is why they're using sex as an escape mechanism. But instead of using that backstory to justify that assholeness, try and talk about mental health properly, urgh.

2. Upping and leaving after having sex doesn't show a lack of romantical connection - you don't have to hump and dump in the fear that you'll form a romantic connection. Staying is important because of the emotional attachment formed when you have sex with someone.

3. Emotional attachment after sex doesn't have a gender. And it's harmful to all genders if you perpetuate this bullshit. Girls can be into one night stands and casual sex without being romantically attracted to the person immediately afterwards and boys can feel romantically attracted to the person right after a one night stand. Fuck these stereotypes/tropes.

Having casual sex or one night stands isn't "cool", it's just a thing. It's not a cool thing, it's not a bad thing, it's just a t h i n g, with absolutely no morality attached to it. And so is not having sex - that's also simply a thing. Waiting for a special person to have sex with isn't "lame", isn't bad and not wanting to have sex at all - whatever the reason - is also VALID. Being sex positive means supporting all of this, not just one night stands and being against slut shaming.

WARNING FOR ACEPHOBIA AND AROPHOBIA

People "pitying" partners of asexual people because they believe their "needs" aren't being met are FUCKING TRASH AND SHOULD GO FUCKING PUNCH THEMSELVES IN THE FACE. Sex is not necessary for a relationship to be meaningful and valid. Sex is only an extra, for some people, it's an extra they need and for some people, it's unnecessary. Sex is not a "need" - nothing will happen to you if you don't get sex (I'm not talking about the influence of mental health on sex rn, that's a different topic altogether), except for the fact that you might remain horny most of the time, which is a YOU thing, not an another person thing. If you can't live without sex, that's on you, keep it to yourself, don't go making other people feel bad just because you want sex.

An asexual person and a sexual person can be in a long lasting, happy, meaningful, fulfilling relationship BECAUSE SEX IS NOT NECESSARY FOR A RELATIONSHIP TO BE THAT. A sexual person and another sexual person who doesn't want to have sex ever because of whatever reasons can be in a long lasting, happy, meaningful, fulfilling relationship because again, I reiterate the same.

And this might be an unpopular opinion, but breaking up with someone whom you've been in a long time relationship with, been in love with each other, like properly - just because the other person is asexual or doesn't want sex is fucked up. It. Is. Fucked. Up. It's shitty, it's mean and it's insensitive.

Yes, yes I know how people do say you deserve to be with someone who understands your kinks and lets you explore them and be comfortable in them, and that you deserve sexual gratification in a relationship - and that's valid too, but not at the expense of people who're sex aversive. And these posts don't even talk about asexual people, they need to be more inclusive. Moreover, being kinky and being asexual can exist together cause asexual people can be into kink. Kink is more than sex, it's about the feeling, so all that matters is communication and understanding between people. Sex isn't everything.

Breaking up with someone because you need sex is a personal choice, personal decision to make - but breaking up with them by making them feel bad for not being able to "fulfill your needs" is shitty and messed up.

Demonizing aromantic people who're allosexual by perpetuating microaggressions such as "oh you can have how much ever sex you want without being attached to the person" is arophobic and insensitive. And so is saying stuff like they're being a predator or objectifying people or sexualising people. Sexual attraction isn't a bad thing. How do you suppose are going to learn the importance of consent, and safe, sane and comfortable sex if you can't make a difference between objectification and thinking that someone is sexy? If you can't make a difference between wanting to have sex with someone and being a predator?

There are so many nuances and it's important to acknowledge all of them.

tiny rant #1 : I'm so fucking sick and done with people who shame Larries by telling them they're "shipping" two real life people, when in actuality Larries simply believe in Harry and Louis being together - they (we) believe that Harry and Louis have, or atleast had, something special, something more, and that they're most probably, very likely in love with each other. We do not "ship" them, there's a fucking difference. There are people who haven't talked to a single person who's a Larrie and they spout shit about how they're (we're) fetishising mlm, which is absolute bullshit because the literal meaning of fetishising is thinking of someone or something with a sexual lens, and none of us are jerking off to Harry and Louis having sex you ignorant fucks - atleast use words appropriately, according to their meaning, wtf. ALSO, most importantly, Larries aren't fucking cishet White girls who want to see two boys kissing - most of us are part of the lgbtq+ community and a lot of us are not-White (I'm aro-spec pan + agender AND Indian, personally).

tiny rant #2 : I feel like when people forcefully deny the fact that a person could be queer, they're being more microaggressive/queerphobic than when people assume a person could be queer (in a non-assholic way). Denying that a person could be queer with a lot of force just puts you in a bad light, kind of sending off a pretty problematic message, y'know? For example, so called Harries who're so into denying the possibility that Harry could be trans/non-binary by saying that it's transphobic to assume, are being transphobic themselves by doing so because they refuse to even think of the possibility that he could be, they're so against the idea that it seems as if they could never be open to such a thing, which is super queerphobic if I say so myself. This doesn't mean that Harry is trans/non-binary, I'm not saying that as a fact, I'm just saying that people shouldn't be so quick to stop queer people from wondering if their idols are queer just because they think we're "forcing a label onto him" - which we're not.

I feel so frigging tired and I wanna cry and the thought of having to attend my online classes tomorrow and being a productive person makes me feel horrible and on top of that having to attend my online yoga class in the evening and everything is just URGH, I just want to sleep away my life, please