Jane Grealy 1. Puppy with Stick, 2021 2. Legs, 2021
i stg this shit is just Big Puppy Disorder. like wag wag wag my tail over this new friend, he is so nice and he is so nice to me and i want to be his puppy and make him happy too :3
i’m like some braindead golden retriever wtf is going on.
kinda tired fighting for a life i don’t even want
i also miss this girl who i loved with my absolute everything i had in me but i can’t ever write about her, the loss is too much, the gap between us feels too big,, i don’t know where to start with her- i never did. but Gods above that doesn’t mean that i don’t miss her often. i tried reaching out first but idk, don’t have the confidence to try again. i got angry with her recently due to my idiot boyfriend not explaining a situation well, and i always having a worse bark than my bite.
she was more than all the moons and stars in the universe, how could i ever not miss her? my absolute other half, twin flame, soulmate, my person.
this being 11 thing blows.
nothing is bringing me comfort, i don't know how to help baby brained me. no shows, music, stories, games, nothing. i can't even figure out the trigger. i know its a flashback or regression or whatever the f*ck but im tired. i am 8 years older than this. we lived, we aren't dying. i don't know how to get that through to her-me-whoever. all i know is that we are alone right now and we are not okay with that for some reason.
hey uh reblog if you’re a vent/mental health blog? I want more people to follow.
i fear humans like a street dog. rejection after rejection, hurt after hurt, it all gets too much for my already crowded mind.
dez told me to try to put myself out there again in some way or another. and i have, i am trying. not very hard granted; i still am in this safe haven of social isolation and overworking myself in school.
but i have found someone that has proven that strangers can be kind, pure even, and is trying to steer my western brain back towards the light of the east again. he will never know the true weight of the words he writes with, and how i await responses with my tail thwapping against my bed. teeth smiling, not bared.
This is the most in-your-face sign i have ever received in my time devoting myself to the Gods. I’ve gone to school here for two years, never have i seen any birds sit on that building (i’m a big bird watcher on campus), let alone like 30 giant vultures.
I see you Ares!! Our Gods are good :)
resting peacefully tonight :)
i wish things could be different,
✩ 21 ✩ bpd, bipolar, & cptsd diagnosed ✩ helpol ✩ “Freedom is a length of rope. God wants you to hang yourself with it.”
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